Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I am glad to see my buddy Martin the Postman made it home ok.
He dodged rainstorms and high winds on the Mackinac Bridge
to get up here and say hello. We got a chance to meet and do
brunch and have a tour of the Sault before he had to hit the road
again. I could have told him that the Bridge Authority will
transport
your bike across the bridge for you, but most people would rather
brave a hurricane than let someone trailer their bike across but
when
the winds come whistling through the Straits and they are ferrying
semis across at 20 mph, it is a bad place to be on a bike. Like so
many friends I have on the net, it was great to meet Martin and we
share so much in common, a longer visit would have been nice.
Eva was in a bad mood having missed a nap the other day and she
wanted my computer, nevermind the fact I was working on the web
at the time. She pulled a desk chair over next to me and while I was
typing grabbed the mouse and tried to go to the Noggin website. I
grabbed the mouse back and she said, " Go Away." I told her that
I would go away but I was taking the computer with me. Sometimes
it is hard to tell whether you hit home when you talk to them but
this
time I did because Eva thought she had gotten her way until it sunk
through what I had said. She said, " OK" and as the realization of
what I had said hit, she said, " What !!!" We came to an agreement
that she should take a nap and then she could play with the
computer.
Enjoy the Chips...buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patient: Doctor, I have a problem. I feel unhealthy and depressed.
Doctor: You should cut down on drinks.
Patient: I don't touch a drop.
Doctor: You should cut down on smoking.
Patient: I don't smoke.
Doctor: You should stop taking drugs.
Patient: I don't do drugs.
Doctor: You should cut down on womanizing.
Patient: Haven't touched a woman in my life.
Doctor: In that case, get yourself a drink, learn to smoke, do some
drugs, and find a couple of girlfriends
------------
Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist. As he leans over to
begin working on her, she grabs his crotch. The dentist says,
"Madam, I believe you've got a hold of my privates." The woman
replies, "Yes. Now, we're going to be careful not to hurt each
other, aren't we."
------------
A kid had cut open a golf ball and had *eaten* the liquid centre.
The stuff in this case was a thick, dark fluid, and the child's
mother naturally assumed that it was some petroleum product. She
frantically called the family doctor, and as she was rushing to the
doctor's office with the apparently poisoned kid, the doctor was
rapidly flipping through the "Common Household Poisons" book. There
was no mention of golf balls in it. The doctor called up a golf ball
manufacturer and explained the situation; but they said that their
golf balls had a solid core. "I wish I'd asked the name of the
manufacturer!
named their sole competitor that made balls with liquid centres.
Another quick phone call, and the
answer: the centre was made of cod liver oil.
------------
A magician accidentally turned his wife into a couch and his two
kids into armchairs. He started to panic and thought to himself,
"What the heck have I done?" He began to ponder, "How am I going to
bring back my beloved family?" So, he thought for a while and
decided a good idea was to take them to a hospital and see if the
surgeon could operate and bring them back. He loads them into his
van and off he rushes to the local hospital. He walked up and down
the hospital and after some serious surgery, he asks the doctor,
"Doc, how are they doing?" The doctor replies, "Comfortable, sir!"
------------
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to
paint the toilet seat. The wife comes home sooner than expected,
sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably
distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the
doctor. She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat,
and they go. When they get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's
coat to show their predicament. The man asks, "Doctor, have you ever
seen anything like this before?" "Well, yes," the doctor replies,
"but not framed like that."
------------
After deciding that their frail, elderly mother can no longer live
alone, a family brings her to a nursing home, hoping she'll be well
cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathe the old woman, feed
her a tasty breakfast, and sit her in a chair at a window
overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seems fine, but after a
while she slowly starts to lean over sideways in her chair. Two
attentive nurses immediately rush up to catch her and straighten her
up. Again she seems fine, but after a while she starts to tilt to
the other side. The nurses rush back and once more bring her back
upright. This goes on all morning. Later the family arrives to see
how the old woman is adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it
here? Are they treating you all right?" they ask. "It's pretty
nice," she replies. "Except they won't let you fart."
------------
Two attorneys boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window
seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before take-off, a
physician got on and took the aisle seat next to the two attorneys.
The physician kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was
settling in when the attorney in the window seat said, "I think I'll
get up and get a coke. "No problem," said the physician, "I'll get
it for you." While he was gone, one of the attorneys picked up the
physician's shoe and spat in it. When the physician returned with
the coke, the other attorney said, "That looks good, I think I'll
have one too." Again, the physician obligingly went to fetch it and
while he was gone, the other attorney picked up the other shoe and
spat in it. The Physician returned and they all sat back and enjoyed
the flight. As the plane was landing, the physician slipped his feet
into his shoe sand knew immediately what had happened. "How long
must this go on?" he asked. "This fighting between our professions?
This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in
cokes?"
------------
Two country doctors out in the hills of West Virginia were
discussing the population explosion in the world. One physician
says, "Why, Bubba, thiseyer crazy birth thang isa gettin' so bad
that perty soon, they ain't gonna be room for ever'body! There'sa
gonna be standin' room only on this here planet!" The other doctor
replied, "Heck, that sure oughta slow 'em down a bit!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Ajax Condoms
http://www.buffalos
Alaska State Quarter
http://www.buffalos
Alcoholic
http://www.buffalos
Alice
http://www.buffalos
Alien Invasion
http://www.buffalos
Alien Men
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drug Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Drug use, the legal drugs...
Prescription drugs should be kept far out of
reach of children, even if they cry, "Please,
please, may I have my medicine?"
Some people say you should not exceed the
recommended dosage on the bottle. But,
come on, it's medicine-it'
Stay away from that Lipitor shit. It's like
hosting a Filipino drag-queen knife fight in
your skull.
If you take medication daily, a useful
accessory is a seven-day pill case, which
helps you keep track of your intake and
serves as a depressing symbol of your
mortality.
If the pharmacist says your prescription
will take 45 minutes to an hour to fill, say
"Oh, no," and fall over dead.
Never mix prescription painkillers with alcohol,
unless you like to party really, really hard.
Most people don't realize how much pharmacists
enjoy haggling over the price of medications.
To reduce the risk of mix-ups at the pharmacy,
bring a bat with a nail in it.
Most pills should not be taken on an empty
stomach. Sprinkle a handful onto a salad.
If your pharmacist doesn't offer to have one
with you right there in the store, the shit's
probably no good.
If you are ever in doubt about the safety of a
particular medication, consult a qualified physician.
He will be happy to pooh-pooh your concerns.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Over Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Relationship With Your Wife/Girlfriend Is Over When ...
- She puts your dinner on the floor in the Rover Dish.
- The milkman is wearing your bathrobe.
- You get a ticket for the Jerry Springer Show.
- She starts every sentence with the words ...
"To whom it may concern."
- Your mail comes addressed to "Current Resident."
- The local mortician starts measuring you for a new suit.
- Her mother looks at you and starts laughing.
- You are urged to stir your coffee "very well," before drinking it.
- Your favourite easy chair is plugged into the wall outlet.
- All of your shirts have a target painted on them.
- People are already referring to her as the "widow."
- You come home and all that is left of the house is the foundation.
- Your name is Fred and a new tattoo just below her navel reads ...
"Joe's Place."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm in love with my sheep," the nervous young man told his
psychiatrist. "Nothing to worry about," the psychiatrist consoled.
"Many people are fond of animals. As a matter of fact, my wife and I
have a dog we are very attached to." "But, doctor," continued the
troubled patient, "I feel physically attracted to my sheep." "Hmmm,"
observed the doctor. "Is it male or female?" "Female, of course!"
the
man replied curtly. "What do you think I am, GAY?"
The doctor said to his blonde patient, "You look terribly weak and
exhausted. Are you having your three meals a day as I advised?" The
patient answered, "I thought you said three males a day."
I get a hundred e-mails a day wanting me to buy Viagra. Clearly, the
Viagra people know something about my penis that I don't. So my
reasoning went like this: maybe if I bought some of their sweet
precious Viagra, they would shut the heck up. As a bonus, I would
actually own some Viagra, which I could use to surprise my wife.
"Oh,
darling!" my wife would exclaim. "Twelve hours of painful, non-stop
intercourse? You shouldn't have!"
I know a guy who plays it so safe that he wears rubbers even during
oral sex. Twice a week his girlfriend blows him to condom come.
(Richard Lederer)
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arkansas Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
We met in a secluded field, the sun nearly kissing the evening
horizon. The warm breeze was full of that earthly, musky scent that
only those fortunate enough to live outside the urban rat race know,
and quiet whispering of the leaves in the Weeping Willow overhead
added the final touch to the most romantic scene.
We lay there, both naked, I knew I had to have her and have her now.
Without a word being spoken, I managed to move myself to a position
of dominance.
I could feel instantly that this was what she had been waiting for
as she frantically thrust her pelvis at my approaching organ. I
moved slowly at first, inch by inch, until I was fully inside her.
Then as tension rose, we began the ultimate in sex. Although
inexperienced, she approached every change of position with
enthusiasm, moaning with despair every time I withdrew to prevent
myself from ending it all too soon.
As sexual tension heightened towards the inevitable mind-blowing
climax, it was all I could do to hold out until the moment we had
both been waiting for was upon us. As it did we rolled together in
the now damp grass.
As the last deep orange glow of the long set sun melted into the
darkness of approaching night, as we lay there still entwined in an
amorous embrace, I kissed her long and loving and whispered how good
she had been, and she tenderly and sensuously licked my inner ear
and whispered: "Baaaa", then re-joined the flock.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vaginal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This lady goes to the gynecologist but won't reveal to the
receptionist what's wrong with her, just that she must see a doctor
right away. After hours of waiting, her name is called and she's
taken to the examination room. The Doctor asks, "Ok my good woman
what is your problem?" "Well, she says, my husband is a very
compulsive gambler and every nickel he can get his hands on he
gambles. I have scrimped and saved every dollar I could to save up
$500. I didn't know a safe hiding place, so I stuffed it up my
vagina. But now, I can't get it out!" The doctor says, "Don't be
nervous, I see things like this all the time. He asks her to remove
her clothes and sit on the edge of the examination table with her
legs apart. As he's putting on his rubber gloves, he glances up at
her and asks... "I only have one question. What am I looking for?
Bills or loose change?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Old Broad Top
http://silverandgol
John/Sweet Little Sixteen
http://heavens-
One Of Those Days
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Pug Pushes Stroller
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Generate Passwords Via Wesley
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Anonymous emails
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Ram
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How AGP Works
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Movie Clips
Hilary Hilary
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Hillary's Campaign
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Hillary's Perfume
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Hill Climbjj
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Hollow Men
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Global Warming
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Glock
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Glock with Drum Mag
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Goal
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Good Ole Boys
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toad Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was a yellow frog and all the other frogs used to tease
him. So, one day he went to an old witch and asked if she could,
change him to green.
The witch said she could and she said the magic words. The frog was
green!
But when the frog looked down he said, "Witch, my private parts are
still yellow!"
The witch said, "I don't do private parts; you'll have to go to my
sister down the road." And so off the frog went.
Later that day a blue deer came to ask the witch to change him to
brown. The witch did. Then he too saw that his private parts were
blue. "What about my private parts?" The witch told him to go to
his sister's house and she'd change his private parts to brown.
The deer said, "I'm not very good with directions. How do I get
there?"
The witch said, "Oh that's easy, just follow the yellow dicked
toad!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
hi honey
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flashing
http://www.thepostm
pimpin
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Cell Phones
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Cell Phones Lights
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Cellphone Accessory
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keep Your Food Fresh Up To 50 Days Longer
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A neurotic young playboy named Gleason
Liked boys for no tangible reason
A frontal lobotomy
All but cured him of sodomy
But ruined his plans for the season.
Suzie Wong and her sister looked tight
When they laid Mr. Wright one hot night
He resisted just one
But a pair?.. Too much fun
Which is how two Wongs made a Wright.
<snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds
Slap Chop makes chopping up vegetables, nuts and fruits quick and
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switch the blade. Slap Chop is dishwasher safe making clean up a
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Order one today and get a second one at no charge.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Hey, congratulations to former President Bill Clinton. He
traveled to North Korea today, met with Kim Jong-Il and won
the release of those two female journalists. It was great
for Obama to use Clinton that way. I think I know how he got
him to go over there. You know, he's probably like, 'Bill,
I need you to go to North Korea for me.' 'I can't do it.
I'm completely booked. I have numerous obligations.
you to visit a woman's prison.'
'What time's my flight?'"
Myron
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A LITTLE THREE YEAR OLD BOY IS SITTING ON THE TOILET.
HIS MOTHER THINKS HE HAS BEEN IN THERE TOO LONG, SO SHE GOES IN TO
SEE WHAT'S UP.
THE LITTLE BOY IS GRIPPING ON TO THE TOILET SEAT WITH HIS LEFT HAND
AND HITTING HIMSELF ON TOP OF THE HEAD WITH HIS RIGHT HAND.
HIS MOTHER SAYS: "BILLY, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YOU'VE BEEN IN HERE FOR
A WHILE.
BILLY SAYS: "I'M FINE, MOMMY.. I JUST HAVEN'T GONE 'DOODY' YET."
MOTHER SAYS: "OK, YOU CAN STAY HERE A FEW MORE MINUTES.
BUT, BILLY, WHY ARE YOU HITTING YOURSELF ON THE HEAD?"
BILLY SAYS: "WORKS FOR KETCHUP."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1660
Decisions
Diana is off to visit her daughter in Texas so the dogs and BJ have
the
house to themselves and of course the cats.
Rudy: I want to watch the Beethoven movies.
BJ: I was pluging for the K-9 movies.
Katie: I vote for a Rin-Tin-Tin marathon!
Sandi: You guys know me, I vote for a Lassie marathon.
Rudy: Of course, you are a collie.
BJ: Okay, let's wrestle for it... on the floor!
While everyone is wrestling on the floor, Pearl pops in her favorite
DVD.
Pearl: I always preferred the Felix the Cat myself.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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