THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The man who suspects his own
tediousness is yet to be born
Thomas Bailey Aldrich
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
One of my fondest memories of childhood was
always the "hayride". Being born into a farmer
family, we were pretty much self reliant.
That included coming up with our own entertainment
and fun. On a given night at the peak of
summer, we quite often were known to hitch a
hay rack on the back of the tractor, and away
we would go. Many of you city slickers never got
a chance to experience one, unfortunately.
That is probably why you are anti social today.
But that's another story. Anyways, Pappy
would get the John deer out and hitch it up
to the hayrack. That was a piece of ecquipment
that looked like a wagon. But it had a flat
bed on it. One used it to haul bales of hay
from the barn to the cattle. Get a few bales
scatter em around the wagon, and off we went
down the road, stopping at the neighbors.
Have a nice chat, and usually they would hop
on and join in the ride to town. Then we
would stop and buy a gallon or two of icecream
at the local Safeway store. Because by now,
most likely, 3 or 4 families had joined up,
and we headed over to the town park for a
impromptu icecream social. Sometimes, folks
would hook up their own tractor and hay rack.
and we ended up with a 4 tractor caravan of
families having fun. And if you were
really lucky, 2 or 3 of the local musicians
might agree to bring out their fiddles and
banjos for a little free concert in the "band
shell." Those were fun times and good times.
Of course, we don't do those kinds of things
these days to keep entertained. Today we sit
inside at the desk by ourselves with our
internet and I'pod.
Aren't you glad for progress?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
__________
THE COMICS
Dad?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k001.html
magic Johndon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k002.html
trees sand and water
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k003.html
they're important
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k004.html
the woman's version
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k005.html
sweet boss
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k006.html
naked women
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k007.html
diets and tits
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k008.html
be a good girl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k009.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Strangers on my flight
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8877.html
woodpecker
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8878.html
what's in my pants
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8879.html
bull
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8880.html
___________
Lisa, a strikingly beautiful young Brunette, sat
across the table from Tom, in a fancy restaurant.
She smiled as Tom finished proposing to her. "I'm not
sure, let me think about it," she answered.
Tom was crushed but kept his composure. After dinner
they went to her place. The mood was romantic, and
Tom was eager to make love to Lisa. She stopped him
and said, "Before we get married, or even make love,
I want you to buy me something""Sure my love, you name
it. A car, a pearl necklace, diamond earrings, you name it."
"I want a solid gold Boy Scout knife."Stunned, Tom
asked, "But why? I can buy you anything you want. Why
must it be a solid gold Boy Scout knife?"
"I can't tell you, but I won't make love to you until
I get one." Tom searched high and low but couldn't find
the knife. Desperate, he had a jeweler make one for him.
The next time they met at her place for a romantic
evening, he again suggested they make love. Again she
said she couldn't without first receiving the solid
gold Boy Scout knife. With a smile he handed her a
small gift-wrapped box. She carefully opened it and
saw the knife.They went off to the bedroom where she
opened a large hope chest at the foot of her bed. She
placed the knife inside, but not before Tom saw the
contents of the hope chest. It was filled with solid
gold Boy Scout knifes."What's this? The whole thing
is filled with gold knifes?"
"I can't tell you," she replied.
After several minutes of badgering, she finally
relented and said, "Someday I will be older. My hair
will turn gray, my face will start to get wrinkles and
my beauty will fade. Who will want me then? But, can you
imagine what a Boy Scout would do for one of these knifes?"
_______________
A hillbilly kid goes into a drugstore and asks the
druggist for a box of condoms.
The druggist says, "How old are you, son?
"The kid replies, "Eleven." "I can't sell you any
condoms," the druggist says. "You're too young.
"The kid says, "Gimme some rubbers or I'll call a cop."
"All right, cool it," the druggists says to the kid.
"What kind of condoms do you want?
"The kid tells him, "Gimme the French ticklers.
"The druggist says, "Listen, kid. Do you know what
one of those things will do to a woman?"
"No," the kid replies, "but I hear they make a
sheep jump pretty high!"
______________
The farmer and his wife worked hard, scrimped and saved
to send their son to college at Duke University.
As soon as he had enrolled, he started to grow a beard.
Next he grew a large mustache and sideburns.
Being pleased with his new hirsute adornment, he had
his picture taken and sent it off to his parents.
On the back of the photo he scrawled, "How do you
like it? Don't I look like a count?"
Shortly after, the son received this terse note:
"You idiot, it cost us a fortune to send you to college,
and you can't even spell!"
__________________
The doctor had just completed his examination of the
gorgeous red-haired beauty. "I would suggest to you,
young lady," began the medic, as he regained some of
his professional dignity, "that you discontinue some of
your running around. Stop drinking so much, cut down on
your smoking, and above all you will have to start eating
properly and getting to bed early."
Then, as a pleasant afterthought, he added: "Why not
have dinner with me tonight? I'll see to it that you
have the proper food and that
you'll be in bed by 9:00!"
____________
Sam was furious when he found out the checking account was empty.
When he asked Anni, she simply said, "It's my turn."
"What do you mean, your turn?" yelled Sam.
"In bed," Anni explained, "you've been making early withdrawals for
years. Now, it's my turn."
______________
Mrs. Cohen called the doctor's office and was met with this response
by the secretary, "This is Dr. Wiseman's office. What would you like
to talk about?"
Mrs. Cohen was disturbed by this response and replied very
sarcastically, "I want to order a hamburger with fries. For goodness
sakes, why would I call a doctor if I didn't feel sick? I'm very
sick. I need to see the doctor."
"Fine," replied the secretary. "I can make an appointment for you.
Let me see. Ah, yes, I have an appointment one week from next Friday."
"Great," said Mrs. Cohen, "I'll have my mortician drop me off then!
_______________
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how
the girls are getting on"
_______________
In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a
mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro, and I'm
circumcised!Quickly I jumped up, found my pants and looked in the
pockets to find my driver license photo and it was that same color.
Black.I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in
a chair.But it's a wheelchair!!That means, of course, besides being
black and Jewish, I'm also disabled!!! I said to myself, aloud
'This is impossible. It's impossible that I
should be black and Jewish and disabled.'
'It's the pure and holy truth', whispers someone from behind me
I turn around, and it's my Boyfriend.Just what I needed!!!
I am a homosexual, and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend.
Oh, my God..... Black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican
boyfriend,drug addict, and HIV-positive! !!
Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and OH,
noooooo...I' m Bald!!!
The telephone rings.It's my brother.
He is saying, 'Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang
out,take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you
worthless piece of crap... Any job.'
Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo.. . Now I'm also an unemployed orphan!
I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you
are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug
addict, HIV-positive, bald, and an orphan.
But he doesn't get it.Frustrated, I hang up.
It's then I realize I only have one hand!!!
With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out.
I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses!
There is trash everywhere. Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my
pacemaker... . Pacemaker?
Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican
boyfriend,a drug addict, HIV- positive, bald, orphaned,
unemployed, an invalid with one hand, and having a bad heart,
I live in a crappy neighborhood.
At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to
me, 'Sweetiepie,
my love, my little black heartthrob, have you decided which
innaugral party we are going to for Obama ??????
Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one armed,
drug addicted, Jewish queer on a Pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald,
orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Mexican boyfriend,
but please, oh dear God, please don't tell me I'm a DEMOCRAT....
______________
FUN PAGES
Fastest Firefly
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41423&s=n
Death by Football
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41377&s=n
Driving Skills
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=38549&s=n
______________
BUFFALO BILL
Best Work Boot Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9207.htm
Bier
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9028.htm
Bird Crap Detector
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9209.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Get A Yob
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000636.html
Get Your Head Out Of The Gutter
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000637.html
Getting Cork Out Of Bottle
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000638.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment