THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered;
an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered."
Gilbert Keith Chesterton -
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Ever feel like your life is a model of Rodney Dangerfield
and his sad luck stories? My son seems to have just the
same. In the last few weeks, my son took a job full time,
finally. Great news, but unfortunately, it does involve
a great deal of driving to get to. And of course, with his
old car, guess what? Yep, all of a sudden this old
Mercury he drives, it is just one thing after another. First,
it breaks down, then it is a flat tire, he drives on it,
ruins a rim in the process too, and then a week later he has a car
accident. And of course, guess what, he just is finally
getting started working regular, so he hasn't got any
$$$ so dear old dad gets to help him get squared away.
Go figger. Right now the kid is into me to the tune of
about 500 bux or so. Give or take a little. But hey,
we love em, and somehow ya gotta stand behind them, right?
Gets a little pricy at times, that is for sure. But
u know the old bad luck routine? Last night he is coming
home, and its ANOTHER flat tire. At least this time he
had the common sense to stop at a gas station for air
so hopefully he did not ruin a rim or a tire again. In
my old age, I have given up changing flats and do things
a little more smartly. They have such things called towing
ins. so I advanced him a few bux to have it towed in and
let them change the tire, stead of us. Gotta take the tire
in anyways. And we can get reimbursed later for the tow.
I suppose it could be worse problems. At least he is not
calling me from jail asking for bail money or such, you
know? And he has always paid me back when I loaned him $$$.
Hey, I do have a question. How old do they need
to be before you stop bein "Dad, who can help them solve
their problems?" If anybody knows the answer to that one,
let me know.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
4 cocks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i070.html
the clothesline
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i071.html
congugal visits
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i072.html
just to make it interesting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i073.html
moderation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i074.html
how many
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i075.html
nuerotic woman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i076.html
makes you wonder
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i077.html
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Celebrate
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8840.html
Dad in the recliner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8841.html
crabs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8842.html
A candid conversation between Tigers
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8843.html
I do everything
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8844.html
the HP printer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8845.html
General Baldwin had barely arrived in the forward area
when a sniper's bullet removed a button from his shirt.
He threw himself to the ground in terror. The men
stood around with the greatest unconcern. The general
yelled at a passing sergeant. "Hey, isn't somebody
going to kill that darned sniper?" The sergeant looked
down at the general and replied: "I guess not, general.
We're scared that if we kill him the enemy will replace
him with somebody who really knows how to shoot."
______________
Father Joseph went up to Father Fred one afternoon and
said, "I am SICK of all this clean living. Tonight
let's you and me go out and party. We'll carouse,
drink, whatever we want." Fred was shocked. "Are you
crazy? This is a small town and everyone knows us.
Besides, even if they didn't, they would see our
clothes and know we were priests." Joe was ready for
this. "Don't be silly. We won't stay in town, we'll
go into the city where nobody knows us, and we'll
dress just like anyone else." In the end, he managed
to persuade Fred, and they went out that night and
partied like professionals. When they got back home
at 5:00 AM, Fred's face became pale. "I just thought
of something," he said. "We have to confess this."
Again, Joe was ready. "Relax, I told you, I thought
this all out in advance. Tomorrow, you go into church
and into the confessional. I will come in my regular
clothes and confess, and you absolve me. Then I go
put on my garments, you come in and confess, and
I'll absolve you." Fred was amazed at Joe's brilliance.
And so, Joseph went in later that morning and said,
"Father forgive me, for I have sinned. My friend and
I, we're both young men, and last night we went out
and caroused. We became drunk, had carnal knowledge
of prostitutes, used foul language, danced to wicked music."
Fred answered, "God is patient and forgiving, and thus
shall I be. Do 5 'Our Father's' and 5 'Hail Mary's'
and you will be absolved of your sin."
A while later, their places were reversed as Fred
came in and confessed everything in detail.
There was a short pause, and Joseph answered, "I don't
believe this. And you DARE to call yourself a priest?
You will do 500 "Our Father's," 500 "Hail Mary's," and
go around the church 500 times on your knees praying
for God's forgiveness. Then come back and we'll
discuss absolution, but I make no guarantees."
"WHAT??!!" Father Fred was shocked.
"What about our agreement?"
Joe replied, "Hey, what I do on my time off is
one thing, but I take my job seriously."
____________
A gay couple is driving along one afternoon, and
while stopped at a stop sign, they are rear-ended
by a big semi. Furiously, the guy in the passenger
side throws his purse on the seat, gets out of the
car, goes back to the truck and starts banging on the
door. The truck driver opens the door and the gay
guy standing there with his hands on his hips says,
"I'm gonna sue your ass, Buddy!"
The truck driver laughs and says, "Blow me!" The gay
guy stands there for a second, then his eyes get
really big and his face lights up. He runs back to
the car and says excitedly to his lover, "You won't
believe this! He wants to settle out of court!"
___________
A man was sitting on a London train eating a bag of
fresh shrimps, ripping off the heads and shells and
then throwing them out of the window.
After he had gobbled a few of them down an older
woman opposite him said, "Would you mind not doing that?
It's disgusting to watch."
"Listen love." He replied, "It's got nothing to do with
you, I've paid my fare for this journey and I'll do
what I damn well want on this train."
He carried on ripping off the shells, throwing them
out of the window and eating the shrimps. Finally he
finished the bag and settled back for a little sleep.
The woman then started some knitting and all the man
could hear while he was trying to sleep was the incessant
clicking of her knitting needles.
After a while, he sits back up and says to the woman,
"Could you stop that noise, can't you see I'm trying to
sleep?""It's got nothing to do with you," replies the
old woman, "I've paid my fare and I'll do what I want
on this train."
At that, the man grabbed the woman's knitting and
threw it out of the window.
The woman immediately stood up and pulled the train
alarm cord.The man burst out laughing and said, "Ha ha,
you'll get fined L 200 for that!"
To which the old woman replied, "And you'll get six years
when the police smell your fingers!"
______________
A young man grew fed up with modern life and decided to
leave the big city and become a shepherd, spending
months in the seclusion of the distant mountains alone
with his thoughts and sheep.So he went up the high mountains
where he found three older shepherds with a big flock
of sheep, and asked them to show him the ropes.
The shepherds agreed.The young man spent a week with them.
One evening by the fire he asked casually,"So how do you
guys get by with no women around here?"
Said one of the men,"Why, with so many sheep around, who needs women?"
The youngster shuddered: "Yak! How horrible! How can you...?"
The three men only smiled and said nothing.
Another week passed and one morning the young man realized
that the tension in his groin had grown unbearable.
He remembered what the men had said, and looking at the
sheep, thought, "Hmm, why not after all...".
He chose a moment when none of the older shepherds were
around, and grabbed one of the nearest sheep. However, the
others showed up in a minute, and seeing him with the
sheep burst out laughing."What? What?!!", shouted the young
man, blushing. "You told me that's what you did yourselves,
didn't you??!""Yeah, sure! But to choose the ugliest one??!"
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Italian Chewing Gum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akloo.htm
Dead or Alive Holly Vance
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aghy.htm
James David Manning
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ahjik.htm
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Autobiography #1
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000292.html
Autobiography #2
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000293.html
Autobiography #3
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000294.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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