Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
First a little piece of Radar Detector Humor
I had stopped to help a lady who had a wreck right in front of me as
she fell asleep at the wheel with two small children in the car.
She veered off the road sharply and hit a rock wall.
I pulled over and called for the police on my cellphone.
After the State Trooper finished filing the report and the women's
husband had come to pick her and the children up, the friendly,
overweight officer walked with me back to my car. As I got in, he
glanced at my dash and back at me and gestured to my radar detector,
which is greatly frowned upon in the great state of Alabama. He
said, "What's that?"
Thinking very quickly and not missing a beat, I looked him straight
in the eye and replied..."Why Jerry, I'm surprised, I would have
thought in your line of business you would have know what a radar
detector looked like."
He shook his head and said "You know the only reason people have
those things is to break the law!"
I blinked and looked up at him so innocently and I replied, "Break
the law? What are you talking about? This radar detector has saved
my life! When I get real hungry I drive around, when the radar
detector goes off, it means I've found a grocery store. It keeps me
from going hungry."
I've never seen such a belly laugh in my whole life, but it made his
day and I got a gold star, he said, "for originality!
buffalo says When I was living in North Park in San Diego the police
would
have radar checkpoints during the day and they never rotated the
areas
in fact they would announce the locations along with the traffic
reports. I
went home every day for lunch and on Thursdays there would be a car
parked on Texas St. during lunch hour. Two weeks in a row I blew by
the
car doing 35 or 40 in a 25 and never got stopped. Might not have
even been
an officer in the car but I decided to change my route anyhow. A
radar
detector wouldn't help you on the freeway. If you were doing 75 in a
55
you looked over and a CHP was sitting next to you... no radar
necessary
and they did stop you and you did get a ticket.
Enjoy the chips...... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bike Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At a press conference late Monday, the CEO of Johnson Marine, makers
of Johnson outboard marine engines and other recreational equipment,
unveiled a new line of heavyweight cruiser style motorcycles
designed to compete head to head with industry leader
Harley-Davidson. Peter Long, Johnson brands marketing manager said,
"We have studied the market and determined that Harley, while highly
successful, has narrowly missed the mark when targeting motorcycle
buyers". Long added, "We at Johnson are convinced that our product
hits the target dead center and promises to draw sales away from
Harley-Davidson in a way no other motorcycle has been able to
accomplish".
The new line of bikes, marketed under the name Big Johnson
Motorcycles, will, according to Long, deliver what Harley has only
promised. "Our research show that this, a Big Johnson, is what
Harley buyers are really after". At the unveiling of the new line
Monday, several current Harley owners agreed. "When I bought my
Harley, what I really needed was a Big Johnson," said one Harley
owner." But I see now that riding a Harley is no replacement for
having a Big Johnson."
Manager Long also said that his company would follow the lead of
Harley-Davidson and cash in on a huge market for non-motorcycle
related products. "We realize that not every guy can have a Big
Johnson," said Long, "But image is very important to people. If they
don't have a Big Johnson, they at least want to project the image of
having one."
Asked if he anticipated Big Johnsons showing up in the hands of
Harley owners, Long said it was unlikely. "I just don't see the need
to have a Harley if you have a Big Johnson," he said. "And I can't
imagine someone who spends all their resources to acquire a Harley
having a Big Johnson. I think it boils down to this - You either
have a Harley, or you have a Big Johnson, but you are not likely to
have both." "Given the choice," said Long, "I think most guys will
opt for the Big Johnson."
Another force driving sales for the company will come from women. A
survey of the wives and girlfriends of nearly 1,000 potential
motorcycle buyers indicates less than 5% would approve of their
partner spending $15,000 - $21,000 on a Harley Davidson. But, when
asked if they would be willing to pay the same amount of money to
get their partner a Big Johnson, nearly 4 out 5 thought that would
be money well spent.
One female present at the product unveiling was quoted as saying,
"There is no way I will let Lonnie drop 15 grand on another one of
those Harleys, but 15 grand to get him a Big Johnson? Well, that's
something we could both enjoy, and it's something he really needs."
Carla Roundheel, manager of the dealership network now being
established, said her motto is simple. "I service what we sell." Big
Johnson Motorcycles will be traded on the New York stock exchange
under the abbreviation PNSNV.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
hows it going?
http://www.thepostm
a bad moment
http://www.thepostm
the morgue
http://www.thepostm
First Husband
http://www.sydesjok
First Lawyer
http://www.sydesjok
First Step
http://www.sydesjok
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nipple Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This newlywed couple, just married three months, is happily married.
The man loves his wife and just can't get enough of her. He
discovers
one night that he enjoys rubbing his wife's nipple before he goes to
bed so he makes it a nightly routine.
One night he is sleeping alone, since his wife is away on a buisness
trip and he finds that he can't sleep because he can't caress her
nipple. She gets back and he can sleep again.
Soon after he finds out that his wife has cancer, and only a month
to
live. She passes away, and the man just can't get to sleep so he
goes
to her body and cuts off her nipple with a little knife, before they
put her in the ground.
He keeps it in his pajama shirt pocket and rubs it every night and
is
able to sleep again.
A couple of days later he dumps all of his clothes off at the
laundromat and goes to work. There he remembers he left the nipple
inside his pajama pocket. Stuck in an all day meeting which he can't
get out of, he waits and waits, finally he gets out rushes to the
laundromat and asks the guy, "Did you perhaps find anything in the
pocket of my pajamas?"
He says, "why yes, I found a raisin and I gave it to my dog as a
treat!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Turbo Snake
Simply glide Turbo Snake down the drain, twirl, then pull out Turbo
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Small Turbo Snake for Sinks, and Peel and Stick Storage Hook. Now
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View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hole Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man is walking down the street, when he sees a machine with two
holes and with a sign overhead that reads: 'Blow Job'. The machine
has two slots, one for one dollar and one for a quarter.
He looks in his pockets and finds a dollar and a quarter. He throws
the dollar in the machine and sticks his penis into the first hole.
And, surprisingly, it feels good... it feels very good... And just
when he's about to come, the machine stops.
So he puts his dick in the other hole and puts the quarter in. And
it
hurts, it hurts. At first he is not even able to take his dick out,
but when he does, it's raw and covered with blood. He's crying
because of the pain.
An old lady comes from behind the machine and stops to ask what's
the
matter. He tells her about the first hole and how *wonderful* it
felt. Then he describes the hell of the second hole, and shows her
his red and torn penis.
And the little old biddy smiles sweetly and says,
"You don't expect me to take out my false teeth for a quarter, do
you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Kangaroo Keeper
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View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hell Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mac died at the controls of his plane and went
to pilots' hell, where he found a hideous devil
and three doors.
The devil was busy escorting other pilots to
various "hell rooms."
"I'll be right back--don't go away," said the
devil, and he vanished.
Sneaking over to the first door, Mac peeked in
and saw a cockpit where the pilot was condemned
to forever run through pre-flight checks.
He slammed that door and peeked into the second.
There, alarms rang and red lights flashed while
a pilot had to avoid one emergency after another.
Unable to imagine a worse fate, Mac cautiously
opened the third door.
He was amazed to see many beautiful, scantily
clad flight attendants answering to a captain's
every whim. He quickly returned to his place
seconds before the devil reappeared.
"Okay, Mac," said the devil, "Which door will
it be, number 1 or number 2?"
"Um, I want door number 3," answered Mac.
"Sorry," said the devil. "You can't have door
number 3. That's flight attendants' hell."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Background Check Them-You have the Right to Know the Truth!
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cook got his hand caught in a dishwasher - and they were both
fired.
"It's after midnight," she said. "You'd better get started." "All
right," he agreed. "Turn off the light."
Many are those who sow their wild oats Saturday night, then on
Sunday morning go to pray for crop failure.
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge
said
to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy." Mickey replied,
"I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fucking Goofy."
"Doctor, that rectal exam hurt like hell. What did you do?" asked
John. "I used two fingers." Said the doctor. "What for?" asked John.
"I needed a second opinion."
Two women were having coffee, when one said, "I used to call my ex
'Superman' when we were in bed." The second commented, "How
flattering!" to which the first replied, "Not really! I meant that
he was faster than a speeding bullet."
Did you hear about he new athletic shoe for lesbians? They are
called
"Dikees" They come with an extra long tongue and you can get them
off with one finger!
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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- Store almost anywhere
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pharmacy Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man was new in town and caught the flu, so he went to see a
doctor. The doctor gave him three prescriptions. Before the man left
the doctor's office, he asked for directions to the nearest
pharmacy. The doctor said, "Go six blocks down and you will see a
pharmacy on the left hand side." The man followed the doctor's
directions and had no trouble finding the pharmacy. As he got out of
his car, he noticed a gigantic sign which
read:
"The Giant Pharmacy
where you get more for your money."
He walked in and gave the pharmacist the three prescriptions. When
his name was called, he noticed that the clerk placed a gigantic
container of antibiotics on the counter, then had trouble picking up
a huge bottle of cough syrup. The man became alarmed, and before the
clerk walked away to bring the third prescription, he yelled "Excuse
me sir..the suppositories -- I don't want them!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limited time offer so act now.
Click the link below for more information:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Ready for Heaven
http://www.silveran
John w/ A Dream Of Heavens Gates
http://our.homewith
carolyn w/ There's Always Me~Elvis
http://carolynsprec
Got A Nanosecond?
http://www.shangral
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari Via Wesley
Red Skelton's Commentary on the Pledge of Allegiance
http://kcbx.
PropertyShark - Real Estate Maps, Foreclosures, Property Reports
http://tinyurl.
Krystal ( Southern White Castle equivalent )
http://tinyurl.
Piltdown Man
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Email Marketing Features | MailChimp.com
http://www.mailchim
PSP6 Tips and Tricks
http://mardiweb.
Wireless Router Guide
http://www.firewall
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschip
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://community-
Kitty Korner
http://www.yuckles.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
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You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
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Here is some more information about this new way to watch
television:
1) All of the programming is uncensored!
2) There are hundreds of channels from around the world to watch!
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5) No additional hardware is needed!
6) You won't have to pay a cable or satellite bill any longer!
Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:
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Movie Links
Kangaroo
http://www.buffalos
Pancakes
http://www.buffalos
Paris speaks out
http://www.buffalos
Peeping Tom
http://www.buffalos
Peyton
http://www.buffalos
Parking 2
http://www.buffalos
Parking3
http://www.buffalos
Peeling
http://www.buffalos
Pigeon
http://www.buffalos
Ping Pong
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she looked up
at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies." So I turned
her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out, flipped her
back over, and came all over her face and hair. I guess we don't
watch the same movies.
What's the difference between a girl friend and a wife? About 30
minutes.
A couple had been divorced for about 6 months, but still remained
good friends. This worked out pretty good since they both lived in
the same apartment building. One day he slipped on the ice and broke
his arm. Later he met his ex-wife in the elevator and she asked if
there was anything she could do to help. He responded, "Well yes, if
it's not to much trouble, could you help me take a bath?" She
readily agreed and soon after she began washing him she saw a
gradual erection begin to appear. "Look John", she exclaimed happily
"It still recognizes me!!!"
I'm not saying she's easy, but her pantyhose has a pet door.
An attractive young med student was having coffee with her
girlfriend and complaining about her fiancee's extraordinary sexual
appetite. "I barely have the strength to come to work in the
morning," she murmured. "And now that he's on his vacation, things
will probably be even more intense when he gets back." "How long is
he off?" the assistant inquired. "It varies," she replied. "But
usually it's just long enough to smoke a cigarette."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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View Web Version
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cinderella
http://www.buffalos
Cinderella2
http://www.buffalos
city transit
http://www.buffalos
civil wall paper
http://www.buffalos
clap
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Home Smart Power Dock
Say goodbye to counter clutter forever with Power Dock. Keep your
cell phone, charger, music player and more without any tangling.
Hooks are also attached for hanging keys. Stay organized, charged
and ready to go whenever, wherever - from your home to your office.
Order today and we'll double the offer.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young man from Wales
Who lived on snot, shit and snails.
When he couldn't get these,
He lived off the cheese
That he scraped from his dick with his nails.
There was a young man from Duluth
Whose dick was shot off in his youth.
So he fucked with his nose,
And his fingers and toes,
And came through a hole in his tooth.
Said the trader, "I'm not pleased one bit,
In our dealings, that you should submit
Your signed IOU
In lieu of a ewe
I just won't accept that sheep chit!"
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prevent pet accidents in your home with Pet Zoom Pet Park. It's made
of a synthetic grass like surface that prevents stains and rinses
clean in seconds. Unlike dripping newspapers and expensive wee wee
pads, Pet Zoom Pet Park's reusable surface stays fresh and sanitary.
Use it for training puppies to special needs dogs to long days at
the office.
Protect your upholstery and flooring with Pet Zoom Pet Park.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A homosexual went into a bar and met a big, burly man and they soon
left together. The next day the homosexual came back in the bar, all
battered and bruised, with two broken legs and his head bandaged.
The
bartender asked, "What the hell happened to you?" "Well," the
homosexual replied, "that man I left with yesterday wined me and
dined me, then took me up to his apartment and gave me a bath,
powdered me down and put me in a beautiful negligee. Then he picked
me up in his arms, carried me over to the window by the moonlight
and
asked me, 'Are you my little nightingale?
replied, 'Well, fly, my little nightingale, fly!' and threw me out
the window!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.
Your package includes:
Durable Base with built in catnip
Cute, playful kitty toy
Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder
Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
Gift absolutely FREE!
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman marched into the doctors office with a tiny miserable baby
that was howling at the top of its lungs and demanded," Do something
about this baby". After a quick examination, the doctor realized the
baby was malnourished. He's obviously not getting enough milk," he
said sternly. "is he being breast fed? " "Yes," replied the woman.
"Then the milk supply isn't adequate. Please take your blouse off."
The woman obliged, and the doctor proceeded to give her a very
thorough breast exam, kneading, rubbing, massaging, and sucking each
breast at some length. Finally, perplexed, he announced that he
could see why there was a problem. "You aren't producing any milk at
all." "Of course not," she responded." It's my sister's kid," "Why
on earth did you come?" asked the doctor in amazement. "I didn't,"
she replied, "until you started sucking on the other tit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dryer Maid Dryer Ball
Get rid of pet hair from clothes, sheets and towels while they
tumble in your dryer. The Dryer Maid is like thousands of tiny lint
brushes in every load of laundry and it automatically releases it
into your lint trap for quick disposal.
Save money and time for only $14.99 + S&H.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1753
Blue Moon
Diana is singing the melodic song "Blue Moon." She is singing it
slow
and easy. The dogs and BJ are enchanted by her song.
BJ: Guys do you know what a Blue Moon is?
Rudy: I have never seen a Blue Moon, I have seen it White, Orange,
kinda reddish, but never blue.
Sandi: According to what I have read, it is the second time a full
moon
occurs during a month isn't that so Daddy?
BJ: Correct.
Katie: That is what I goggled father.
Rudy: Goggled?
BJ: The past few nights and tonight we will have a Blue Moon that
is
probably why you guys are so restless. You guys are restless
during
a full moon anyway, but during a Blue Moon, doubly so.
Rudy: Well, I'll be.
Katie: Yes, you will be.
Rudy: I'll be what?
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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