THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Anyone who stands idly by and does nothing to
help another human when he can, loses his
right to be a member of the human race
L. Davidson
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Have yourself a happy ass weekend!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
It's ok boss
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i060.html
the rumper
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i061.html
why bother
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i062.html
take that off
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i063.html
50 bux
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i064.html
cement
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i065.html
fun in the snow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i066.html
currently
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i067.html
now THAT is fast food
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i068.html
speaking figuratively
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i069.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Happy Tree Friends
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8834.html
naked and funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8835.html
relaxing music, soothing pictures
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8836.html
Jay Leno and Jimmy Kimmel
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8837.html
Cheers-More men
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8838.html
Michael
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8839.html
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge
lansion.Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors,
emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end
of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly
isterswere right bugly astards.. One wascalled Mary
Hinge, and the otherwas called Betty Swallocks; they
were really forrible huckers; theyhad fetty sweet
and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to
go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
Rindercella go. Suddenly there was a bucking fang,
and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was
Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian.
She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking
cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge
hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told
Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,
there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball,
Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
suddenly the clock struck twelve.. "Mist all chucking
frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping
barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on
Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in...
Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a
fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome
hince. "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.
When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried
the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without
success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks
was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince
aknack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he
had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the
slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were
married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking
fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!
____________
Three retired old gents, raconteurs all, were sitting
around the National Geographic's Explorer Club,
sippin' on some 25 year old scotch and spinning tall
tales from their past, when the oldest asked,
"What was the most terrifying sound they ever heard ?"
The first old man said, "I was in Africa and got
separated in the bush from my guide and hunting party
and suddenly heard a deafening noise, a herd of wild
elephants thundering right at me and I had no place to hide."
The second gent said, "I was an air force fighter
pilot and was flying from New York to London and was
over the middle of the Atlantic Ocean when the jet
engine on my plane began making the most sickening
sounds I had ever heard anything mechanical make, like
it was breaking apart and about to quit."
The third man, the one who had asked the question said,
"I have the worst one of all. I was having an affair
with this married woman that lived in Hollywood Hills
and her husband surprised us, coming home early from
an out of town trip, and caught us, naked going at it
in their bedroom. I jumped up, ran to the window and
tried to jump out." The old man paused, was sipping a
bit of scotch, when one the other two men asked, "Well,
so what was the terrifying sound?" He replied, "Just
a minute. This is a little hard for me to relive."
After a short pause, he took a deep breath and continued,
"Well I was more than half-way out the window but the
woman's husband had grabbed me by the testicles as I was
falling ! So there I was, hanging by my balls, and the
worst sound I ever heard happened.
It was the clicking sound of a man trying to open a
pocket knife with his teeth!"
______________
A guy meets a hunter at the local pub. "So, what do you
hunt?" he asks."Unicorns," the hunter answers. The guy
was startled, but regains his composure and says,
"Really? How do you do that?" "I find a virgin and hire
her to help me. The virgin sits around in the woods
until a unicorn comes to her. When it does, I set off a snare."
"Boy, they must be hard to find. I've heard of them, but
I've never seen one," says the guy. "Yeah," replies the
hunter. "And there ain't many unicorns around, either!"
____________
Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine
spring day in his new Washington DC parish. He walked
to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of
air and to see the beautiful day outside. He then noticed
there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his
front lawn..He promptly called the US House of
Representatives for assistance. The conversation went
like this: "Good morning. This is speaker Pelosi.
How might I help you?" "And the best of the day te yerself.
This is Father O'Malley at St.Brigid's. There's a jackass
lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind as to
send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter?"
Speaker Pelosi, considering herself to be quite a wit,
replied with a smirk, "Well now father, it was always my
impression that you people took care of last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.
Father O'Malley then replied: "Aye, that's certainly true,
but we are also obliged to first notify the next of kin."
______________
Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers,
Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,
Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,
Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits.
`Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.
It's Nature's revenge for all that sinning,
And those dirty memories are rapidly dimming,
Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits.
'Cos tits can be such troublesome things
When they no longer bounce, but dangle and swing.
And although they go well with my Bingo wings,
I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits.
When they're both long enough to tie up in a bow,
When it's not the sweet chariot that swings low,
When they're less of a friend and more of a foe,
Then I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits.
When I was young I got whistles and hoots,
From the men on the site to the men in the suits,
Now me nipples get stuck in the zips on me boots,
Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits.
When I was younger I rode bikes and scooters,
Cruising around with my favorite suitors.
Now the wheels get entangled with my dangling hooters,
I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits.
When they follow behind and get trapped in the door,
When they're less in the air and more near the floor,
When people see less of them rather than more,
Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits.
_______________
Hillbilly Jokes
* How many hillbillies does it take eat a 'possum? Two.
One to eat, and one to watch for cars.
* Best bar pick-up line in Kentucky: Hey, you
sure don't sweat much for a fat woman."
* Did you hear about the hillbilly who passed away
and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved
widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
* What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a
hillbilly? The good ol' boy raises livestock.
The hillbilly gets emotionally involved.
* What's the most popular pick up line in Arkansas? Nice tooth!
* How do you know when your staying in an Arkansas hotel?
When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in
my sink"and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."
* How can you tell if a hillbilly is married?
There are tobacco juice stains on both sides of his pickup truck.
_____________
SydesJokes LIST
Fuji Film
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000615.html
Fun At Work
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000616.html
Funky Monkey
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000617.html
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Half Time Show
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gvbfdf.htm
Hammer Guy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gcfdff.htm
Happy Penguin
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gdreree.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment