THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
They say it is better to be poor and happy
than rich and miserable.
But couldn't something be worked out,
such as being moderately rich and just moody?
_____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Changes in this decade 1999-2009------
Since 1999 there were 23 million marriages in America
12 million ended in divorce, 800 thousand were same sex
The US added over 6 trillion dollars to national debt
11% of that debt is owned by the Chinese and Japanese
gas prices have almost doubled in America
Since 1999, 800 million people were born
7 million were infected by hiv
60 million died of starvation
3.2 million died because of war
The number of internet users rose
from 350 million to 1.7 billion
8 billion songs were purchased
160 billion songs were pirated
cell phone usage increased from
1 out of 10 people in 1999 to
2 out of 3 people in 2009
AND MOST STARTLING---
YOU ARE 10 YEARS OLDER!!!!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
its agreed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h030.html
we have to stop meeting
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h031.html
my name is Steve
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h032.html
Peanuts
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h033.html
romance is dead
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h034.html
antiques
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h035.html
what a day
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h036.html
how old am I
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/h037.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
about to
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8781.html
at the track
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8782.html
David Letterman
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8783.html
Jay Lenno
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8784.html
referee training
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8785.html
S.O.S.
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8786.html
a Happy New Year wish from Inda
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8787.html
This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and
heavy in the backseat of his car.
A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop.
The guy got out, shaking like a leaf.
The cop said that he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.
The guy got back in the car and finished with his girlfriend.
When he got out again, he was still shaking like a leaf.
The cop said there was no reason to be scared, because
he wouldn't arrest him if he could be next.
The guy said 'I'm not afraid that you'll arrest me, it's
just that I've never fucked a cop before!"
___________
A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits.
The Personnel Manager informed her they had group
health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted
from the employee's pay.She said, "My last employer had
full health coverage, as well as five years salary
for life insurance and a month's sick leave AND they
paid the full premiums.""I can't help but asking madam
why you would leave a job with such benefits,"
the interviewer replied.
The woman shrugged her shoulders and said,
"The company went bankrupt."
___________
The doctor said, "Jerry, the good news is that I
can cure your headaches, the bad news is that it
will require castration. You have a very rare
condition, which causes your testicles to press
on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell
of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure
is to remove the testicles."
Jerry was shocked and depressed. He wondered if
he had anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate
long enough to answer, but decided he
had no choice but to go under the knife.
When he left the hospital he was without a headache
for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he
was missing an important part of himself.
As he walked down the street, he realized that
he felt like a different person. He could make a
new beginning and live a new life.
He saw a men's clothing store and thought, "That's
what I need - a new suit." He entered the shop
and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."
The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said,
"Let's see...size 44 long." Jerry laughed, "That's
right, how did you know?" "Been in the
business 60 years!" Jerry tried on the suit.
It fit perfectly.
As Jerry admired himself in the mirror, the
salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Jerry
thought for a moment and then said, "Sure." The
salesman eyed Jerry and said, "Let's see...34
sleeve and 16 and a half neck." Jerry was surprised,
"That's right, how did you know?" "Been in the
business 60 years!" Jerry tried on the shirt,
and it fit perfectly. As Jerry adjusted the collar
in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new
shoes?" Jerry was on a roll and said, "Sure." The
salesman eyed Jerry's feet and said, "Let's see...
9-1/2 E." Jerry was astonished, "That's right, how
did you know?" "Been in the business 60 years!"
Jerry tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly.
Jerry walked comfortably around the shop and the
salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"
Jerry thought for a second and said, "Sure."
The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and
said, "Let's see, size 36." Jerry laughed "Ah ha!
I got you! I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old."
The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size
34. A 34 underwear would press your testicles up
against the base of your spine and give
you one hell of a headache."
______________
In a small town in the Old Country, the Rabbi died.
His widow, the Rebbetzin, was so disconsolate that the
people of the town decided that she ought to get
married again.But the town was so small that the only
eligible bachelor was the town butcher. The poor
Rebbetzin was somewhat dismayed because she had been
wed to a scholar, and the butcher had no great formal
education. However, she was lonely, so she agreed,
and they were married.After the marriage, Friday came.
She went to the mikvah (a Jewish ritual bath to get
rid of impurities). Then, she went home to prepare
to light the candles.The butcher leaned over to her
and said, "My mother, Hana, told me that after the
mikvah and before lighting the candles, it's good
to have sex." So they did.She lit the candles. He
leaned over again and said, "My father,Shmuel,
told me that after lighting the candles it's good
to have sex." So they did.They went to bed after
saying their prayers. When they awoke, he said to
her, "My grandmother, Rivka, said that before you
go to the synagogue it's good to have sex." So they did.
After praying all morning, they came home to rest.
Again he whispers in her ear, "My grandfather, Moishe,
says after praying it's good to have sex." So they did.
On Sunday she went out to shop for food and met a
friend who asked, "So how is the new husband?"
She replied, "Well, a scholar he isn't, but he comes
from a wonderful family...
____________
One frigid morning in North Dakota a man turned up at
work much the worse for wear.
"I didn't sleep a wink," he told a coworker. "I was
up all night trying to keep my wife's begonia covered
against the freezing cold."
"I should be so lucky," his coworker replied. "When
it's this cold my wife wears so damn many clothes to bed,
I can never get anywhere near her begonia."
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
Giving Change
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdsza.htm
Glade Plug Ups
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdasw.htm
Go Browns
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ajkhj.htm
______________
SydesJokes List
Football Manager
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000592.html
Football Match
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000593.html
Football Season
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000594.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment