THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
I think the purpose of life is to be useful,
responsible, honorable and compassionate.
It is, after all, to matter, count, stand
for something and have made some
difference that you lived at all.
- Leo C. Rosten (1908-1977)
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
A great deal of skepticism has been raised
by the opposition to the current presidential
administration. Many conservatives question his
legal right to be president based on birth.
However, Whitehouse aids released proof
that Obama was born in the USA ...
ACCORDING TO WHITE HOUSE OFFICIALS...
THIS PROVES HE WAS BORN IN THE U.S. ...
A rare Obama childhood photo, in his bassinet !
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
throw it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j040.html
a computer addict
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j041.html
peddle fast
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j042.html
all you can eat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j043.html
a warning
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j044.html
he likes you
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j045.html
I'll get it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j046.html
hello ma'am
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j047.html
here's the deal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j048.html
bad news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j049.html
Seriously, I have screwed more people than you
________________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
be a man
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8871.html
unsafe sex
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8872.html
indescreet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8873.html
talking tampon
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8874.html
the funeral
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8875.html
choices
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8876.html
_______________
President Obama was having that one, lone brief
conversation this year with General McChrystal about
Afghanistan. Things were obviously not going the way
the General had hoped. Obama could sense this, and
told him, "I bet when I die, you'll piss on my grave."
To which General McChrystal answers, "No sir, I've
always said that when I get out of the Army, I'll
never again wait in another line."
____________
There man named Jose that worked in the fields of a
rural country cutting down trees, and every afternoon
his wife Maria used to bring him his lunch.
Well one afternoon Jose got horny and started fucking
the shit out of Maria, as they were doing it a bee
flew by and stung her right next to her nipple.
Days went by and the swelling wouldn't go away, so
Jose took her to the doctor's.
The doctor took a look at it and said "Well we're
going to have to get the puss out in order for her breast
to heal, and the best way to do that is to suck it out."
Jose looked at the doctor and said "Isn't there another way?"
The doctor said "Nope, the old-fashion way is the best
way for this." So of course he believed the doctor and
went along with it, so the doctor went off on Maria's
tit, I mean he sucked the shit out of it, hehad her
moaning and everything. A week later Jose while taking
a piss got stung right on the tip of his dick so he
went to the doctor. The doctor took alook at it and
said, "Holy shit, that things huge! I'll be right back,
I'm going to go get a shot that will make the
puss come right out." Jose looked at him and said,
"NO, no, no, like you said the old fashion way is
the best way. Now start sucking!"
______________
There once was a brother and a sister, fraternal twins,
who were approaching their high school graduation. It
was getting near prom night and neither of them had
a date for it. So one day, the girl approaches her
brother and says, "Hey, you got a date for the prom yet?"
He says, "No, why? You got someone lined up for me?"
"You might say that. Why don't you take me to the prom?"
"Take you? You kidding? You're my sister!"
"Well, are you taking somebody else out?"
"You know I don't have a date, sis."
"And neither do I. But we both want to go to the prom,
don't we?" Her brother nods.
She continues, "So we should go with each other."
The brother can't see anything wrong with her reasoning,
so he tells his sister that if neither of them has a
date by Wednesday evening he will take her to the prom.
Wednesday evening rolls around. Neither of the siblings
has a date, so the brother tells his sister that he'll
take her to the prom on Friday.
At the prom, both of them have a good time. The brother
is glad that his sister talked him into taking her.
Then, while he's standing at the punch bowl, his sister
comes up to him again.
"Hey, brother, let's dance. "
He looks around to make sure that nobody heard her.
"Look, sis, this is the Senior Prom, okay? I'm not
going to dance with my own sister at the prom, okay?"
"Don't be so shy. Look, Jimmy Elder is dancing with his
cousin. So why can't you dance with your sister?"
"Oh . . . all right. "
So they dance, a slow number. The rest of the prom passes
by and after a while it's over and time to go. Both of
them have had a good time.
In the car, with the brother at the wheel, the sister
looks over at him and says, "Let's not go straight home."
He gives her a curious look and says,
"What are we going to do instead?"
"Oh, I don't know. Just drive around."
He agrees, and after they have driven around a while,
out in the country, she looks over at him again and says,
"Want to find some place to park?"
"Hell," he says, "are you crazy? You're my sister,
I'm not going parking with you!"
"Who said anything about 'going parking'? Let's just
pull over somewhere and talk for a while, okay? It's been a
busy year for both of us, how long has it been since we've
had a chance to talk to each other?"
________________
There once was a man who lived in New York whose name was
Joe. He had learned a trade from his father years ago,
and he still practiced it, even in modern times. His father
taught him all of the in's and out's of how to suck a boil
clean of all it's nasty puss and other ingredients, and he
prospered at this occupation, advertising in the Yellow
Pages, getting referal business, and word of mouth
(Yuck!) advertising.One day, Joe received a call from a
woman who had heard of his talents. She told Joe that she
had a rather large boil that was festered, and needed it
taken care of. Joe assured her that it would be no problem,
his standard fee was $50.00, and the deal seemed to be
firm. The woman gave directions to her house and set up
a time for Joe to perform his work.
Upon arriving at the woman's house, he immediately started
to work. He told the woman to expose the boil, and he
would take care of it post haste.
At this point, the woman told Joe that the boil was in
extremely sensitive area of her body, about 1/4 inch
below her vagina. Joe told her, "No problem, that will be
another $20.00". She agreed, and then told Joe that there
was another problem: She was in the middle of the
heaviest part of her period. Joe told her, "No problem,
that will be an additional $30.00".
Again, she agreed, so Joe started to practice his trade.
After about 10 minutes into sucking the boil dry, the
woman couldn't help herself, and cut a tremendous fart.
Joe, his mouth dripping with puss, pulled away from his
task and asked "What are you doing, trying to make me sick?"
____________
The town drunk sent his son, Little Johnny, to fetch
him some gin from the local bar. Little Johnny told
bartender that his Dad wanted some gin.
The bartender, winking at his customers, said,
"There are three kinds of gin, hydrogin, nitrogin,
and drinking gin. Which kind does your Dad
want?"Little Johnny said he didn't know but would go ask.
The bar patrons had a good laugh at bartender's
cleverness. When Little Johnny returned the bartender
said, "What did your Dad say?" Little Johnny replied,
"My Dad said to tell you that there were three
kinds of turds, musturd, custurd, and you, you big shit".
_____________
A young man in a public swimming pool was startled
when his swimsuit fell off. He was in the deep end,
and couldn't find it, no matter how desperately he looked.
Perplexed, he went to the shallow end and tried to
figure out what to do. As he stood there up to his chest
in water and watched the young ladies in their bikinis,
he was additionally stressed to realize that he now
sported a raging hard on. Finally, he struck up a course
of action. He jumped violently out of the water and
shouted loudly, "Mad dog! Mad dog!"
Although most of the others in the pool began screaming
in fear, a lusty redhead took a more direct course of
action. She tore off her bikini bottoms, flattened him on
the ground and straddled him yelling, "Quick! Let me
muzzle that son of a bitch before it gets away!"
German Way To Earn Gold Medals
_______________
A man from the city decided to buy himself a pig,
so he took a drive in the country until he came across
a sign reading, "Pigs for Sale." Turning into the drive,
he parked next to an old farmer standing by a pen full
of pigs and explained his mission. Agreeing to a price
of a dollar a pound, he picked out his pig, whereupon
the old man picked up the pig by the tail with his teeth.
"Ayuh," he said, setting the squealing animal down,
"that there pig weighs sixty-nine pounds."
Noting his customer's astonishment, the farmer
explained that the ability to weigh pigs in this manner
was a family trait passed down through the generations.
Skeptical, and not wanting to be taken for a city slicker,
the man insisted on a second opinion. So the old farmer
called his son over from the barn, and the boy in the
same fashion pronounced the pig's weight to be sixty-nine pounds.
Convinced, the man pulled out his wallet, but the farmer
asked him to go to the farmhouse and pay his wife, who
would give him a receipt. The man was gone for a long time,
and when he finally returned to the pigpen it was without a receipt.
"What's the problem, son?" asked the old man.
"I went up there just like you said," recounted the man
from the city, "but your wife was too busy to give me a receipt."
"Too busy doing what?" wondered the farmer.
"Well, sir, I'm not exactly sure," stammered the man,
"but I think she's weighing the postman."
____________
BUFFALO BILL
Ability To Fly For Bud Light
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hoi.htm
Airline Pilot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hiuyuu9.htm
Alarm Clock
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhui.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000633.html
Germany Vs Holland
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000634.html
Get A Laptop
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000635.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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