[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 1-28

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Monday was the last day of the nice weather up here. It was 35
during the day but it was going down to about 7 degrees that
night. Buffy stopped by and told me there was a dog on my
front porch. I have no idea where it came from but it was one of
those designer dogs about half the size of a cat, with a shih-Tzu
type face. ( had to check the spelling on that... phonetics was no
help)
The dog was an adult male and was quiet and affectionate and not in
the least bit intimidated by the cats. He also had no name tag
on his collar and had been recently trimmed so I couldn't just stick
it back outside, even the 35 degree temperature was colder than what
these dogs could take so after checking with the neighbors I called
Animal Control and fortunately the officer was nearby and she
stopped by and picked the dog up before Eva could get too
attached it.

I was curious about the dog so I called on Wed. to see how he was
doing and to find out if an owner had ever came forward.
We have a no-kill shelter and the dog was sitting on a pillow
in the office. Now the strange part. Someone had called and said
that it was their dog and they had been given it by a friend and
they couldn't remember either the dogs name of the previous owner's
name or even what breed the dog was. Another person
stopped and said the dog looked like one they had lost but had
no particulars on it either. It looks like the dog is safe for now
and will have no problem finding a home if his owner doesn't come
forward.

Enjoy the chips..... buffalo

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Short Chips
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Su Wong marries Lee Wong. The next year, the Wongs have a new baby.

The nurse brings over a lovely, healthy, bouncy, but definitely
Caucasian baby boy. 'Congratulations,' says the nurse to the new
parents. 'Well Mr. Wong, what will you and Mrs. Wong name the
baby?' The puzzled father looks at his new baby boy and says, 'Well,
two Wongs don't make a white, so I think we will name him Sum Ting
Wong.

Two old dears having a coffee, one says to the other, "Did you come
on the bus", "Yes", she replies, "but I made it look like an asthma
attack"

A man recovering from a heart attack asked his doctor how long he
should wait before having sex. You can have sex right away," the
doctor answered, "but only with your wife I don't want you to get
too excited."

There was a little boy who was learning how to count. He had
mastered the halfway point to a hundred, but was having some
problems afterward. One day, he was counting, and he got to 58...
59, and asked what came next. Mom told him, "Sixty. Sixty is the
next number."
When he got to 69, he asked, "What comes after 69?" His father was
just walking in the door from work, heard only the question, and he
replied, "Listerine!"

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

home sweet home
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k040.html

The Obama doll
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k041.html

The national average
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k042.html

Goal Keeper
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000648.html

God Bless The Usa
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000649.html

Going Home Friday
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000650.html

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No Chips
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Alternative ways to say no :

I'd rather have my nipples chewed off...by a pack of wild
dogs.

I'd rather suck the snot out of a gorilla's nose...until the back of
his head caves in!

I'd rather masturbate with a cheese grater.

I'd rather slide down a barbed wire banister into a bucket of
alcohol.

I would rather stick my genitals in a bees nest.

I would rather crush my foreskin between two tables while
being bitch whipped by a fat, mustached geek named Spyros.

I would rather have a porcupine inserted violently into my rectum.

I'd rather drink a gallon of turpentine...and piss on a
forest fire.

I'd rather suck cow snot...through a straw.

I would rather sandpaper a wildcat's ass.

I'd rather watch Rosie O'Donnell and Roseanne mud wrestle...
in the nude.

I'd rather bungee jump...with the harness tied to my penis...with
your mom lying naked in the landing zone.

I would rather dry fuck a polar bear....in a phone booth.

I would rather spend ten hours getting a tattoo on my back...and
then
find out it's the wrong one.

I'd rather cram my dick in the ass of a bear with
inflamed hemorrhoids.

I'd rather have the ten strongest 300 pound linemen in the
NFL play tug of war with my nut sack....each side of 5
pulling a separate nut in a different direction.

I would rather try to open a beer bottle with my sphincter....and
not
a twist off either.

I would rather have my lower legs stripped with a wood planer...and
then wear wool socks...in August.

I'd rather stick my nose up someone's ass...after he just finished
taking a shit.

I'd rather shave my poison-ivy covered legs ... with a
dull barber's razor...and no water or soap.

I'd rather french kiss a barracuda.

I'd rather poke a Grizzly Bear in the ass...with a short
stick.

I'd rather butt fuck a rattlesnake... in a phone booth.

I'd rather nail my dick to the middle of a 2x4 and set
both ends on fire...and try to get loose with a butter
knife.

I'd rather stick a Hartz flea brush up my ass...and jog
a mile.

I would rather have sex with Pee Wee Herman in the
daylight, without a bag to put over his head.

I'd rather drink for a week from the septic tank...of
the 700 pound man next door.

I'd rather wipe my anus with barbed wire.

I'd rather insert and break a slender glass rod in my
penis... then tie it in a knot.

I'd rather lick an elephant's asshole...after he had
just dropped a load of steaming diarrhea.

I'd rather run naked through a rosebush garden...then
jump into a pool filled with chlorine.

l would rather lie under an elephant with diarrhea...in
August...with
my mouth propped open.

I'd rather ride a donkey naked through the desert...with snapping
turtles attached to my nipples.

I'd rather be tied to a chair...and forced to listen to
Barry Manilow tunes..while having my tonsils removed with
a rusty spoon.

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Cardio Twister - Get Fit with a Twist

The Cardio Twister is a great way to work your whole body using only
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works your arms, back, shoulders, abs and obliques.

Burn fat, firm and sculpt your body plus get flatter, tighter abs.

Try the Cardio Twister today for only $14.95.

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Random Chips
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A priest lecturing a teenage boy told him, "IThe Golden Rule is,
Love thy neighbor as thyself." "Huh?" the boy said. "Am I supposed
to jerk him off, too?"

A man was boarding a plane on his way back from visiting family over
the holidays when he heard another passenger shout to a man in the
crowd waiting to see him off, "Good bye. Your wife was a great
lay!"

After the plane was in flight, the first man walked over to the one
who had done the shouting and asked, "Did I hear you correctly? Did
you actually have the audacity to tell that man his wife was a great
lay?" The other man shrugged his shoulders. "It isn't really true,"
he said, "but I didn't want to hurt his feelings."

Miss, would you help me?" a customer at a department store asked a
female clerk. "I would like to purchase a birthday gift for my
brother. What do you suggest for a man who has everything?" The
clerk offered, "My phone number?"

BANKERS do it with interest but pay for early withdrawal

A blonde, bosomy cheerleader confessed to her priest that she often
had sex with her boyfriend in the front seat of his car. "Now, my
daughter," consoled the priest, "I'm sure if you think about it,
you'll know you've been doing something wrong." "Yeah, I guess you
are right," replied the cheerleader. "Maybe it would be more
comfortable in the backseat."

An old professor got up one morning feeling like a 20 year old
student, but he couldn't find one on campus who was awake that
early.

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Big City Slider - Mini Burger Cooker

Just scoop, press and cook your way to the burger sensation that's
sweeping the nation! Enjoy delicious burgers without the time and
mess from other methods. Meal time, snack time, every time is the
right time for sliders! And as a limited time offer, you'll receive
a
Quick Prep Slicer at no charge.

Cook the perfect burgers with Big City Slider today!

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/slider

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Random Chips
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Some one had written on the bathroom wall: "My mother made me a
homosexual." Underneath it somebody else had written: "If I send her
the wool, will she make me one too?"

A young camper at summer camp asked the chaplain if "hard on" was
hyphenated. The chaplain replies, "What in heaven's name are you
writing home about!" The young boy says, "I'm telling Mom and Dad
about the project we worked so 'hard on'."

The trouble with my wife is that she has a wait problem. Every time
I want sex, she says, "Wait."

A new couple were making love in the dunes. When they were done he
said, "How lucky for us that you brought a condom with you." She
said, "We're even luckier than you think because I found it here in
the sand."

Man to woman in car: "They were out of tampons so I bought you a
cork"

Two men were talking. One said "I'd love to be casseroled by a
redhead." "What's that mean?" his puzzled friend said, "Casseroled
is a cooking term, meaning to be done slowly for a long time." The
first man shrugged. "Exactly." he replied.

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The Emery Cat is The Fun New Kitty Scratcher That Actually Grooms
Cats Claws While They Play! The secret is the patented honeycomb
surface that works like a nail file, gently filing away sharpness.

Your package includes:
Durable Base with built in catnip
Cute, playful kitty toy
Packet of catnip
Bonus De-shedder

Buy 1 get 1 FREE Now for only $19.95 plus you'll receive the Bonus
Gift absolutely FREE!

http://buffaloschips.com/emery

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Swimming Chips
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Three guys enter a special swimming contest whereby each contestant
is someone who was born disabled. The first has no arms. The
second hasno legs and the third has no body, just a head.

The prospect of the race was a bit ridiculous, but the three had all
trained and such a contest was historic, so many people gathered to
watch.

They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the
pool.

The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no
legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the
bottom.

Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. Every-
body applauds, (except the guy with no arms, of course.)

The guy with no legs can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of
the pool, so he decides, with all good sportsmanship, to dive down
to the bottom of the pool to rescue his fellow competitor. He picks
up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the
side of the pool, where upon the head starts coughing and
sputtering.

Eventually the head catches his breath. He takes a moment and then
begins to fume. His face red and steaming, he turns to the crowd
and shouts: "Three years I've spent learning to swim with my ears,
then two minutes before the whistle, some asshole puts a swimming
cap on me!"

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The new Buxton Palm Wallet will hold everything and keep it
organized so you can find what you need fast. Store everything
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Real genuine leather
Dual compartments
Available in black, brown or red
Includes magnifier card
Security zipper

Buy 1 Now for only $9.95 and Get a 2nd one FREE!

http://buffaloschips.com/buxton

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Irish Chips
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A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears
his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, "I
hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I'll
give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who
can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back."

The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texan's offer. One man
even leaves.

Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left
shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.
"Is your bet still good?" asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line
up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman
tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking
them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in
amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500
and says, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did
you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"

The Irishman replies, "Oh... I had to go to the
pub down the street to see if I could do it
first."

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Heel-Tastic is the incredible, easy-to-use, roll-on cracked heel
renewal that helps soothe,relieve and soften. The earth-to-skin
Heel-Tastic is made with anti-bacterial and anti-fungal ingredients
that penetrate deep to the source to soothe dry skin. Heel-Tastic
is also great for rough knees, dry, itchy elbows and even cuticles.

Additional Ordering Details:

http://buffaloschips.com/tastic

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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com

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Subscribers and Friends

Melva/Weep Not When I Am Risen
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Insp/Weep.html

John w/ Teach Me Tonight
http://heavens-gates.com/50s/teachmetonight.html

Blessed Child (remake)
http://www.carolspoetry.com/carol35.html

Just Thinking
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/thinking.html

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Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.

Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...

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Surfin Surfari

Travel Light with One Bag! Via Dianne
http://www.onebag.com/

Rolling Tugboat Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.com/yeam5zr

PSYCHIC IN 'POLTERGEIST', ZELDA RUBINSTEIN, DIES AT 76
http://deathbeeper.com/4640221.html

Virtual Wall
http://www.virtualwall.org/iStates.htm

Alan Jackson
http://www.openmyeyeslord.net/UltimateFreedom.htm

10 Faults in Human Thoughts
http://tinyurl.com/ycyx6kp

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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.

Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:

As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.

Press here to get your copy:

http://buffaloschips.com/kit

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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Web-tv
http://www.wtv-zone.com/phyrst/workshop/

Banners
http://linuxenvy.com/bprentice/Banners/Banners.html

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Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!

Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.

PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:

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Animal World

Doggie Zone
http://www.canismajor.com/dog/shihtzu.html

http://www.loveyourdog.com/

Kitty Korner
http://www.catster.com/cats/

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We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.

Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
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You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
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you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.

Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.

Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:

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Here is some more information about this new way to watch
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Press Here For More Information and To Download Now:

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Movie Links

Voting Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91101.htm

Argument Settled
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91102.htm

Been Married To long
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91103.htm

Beer Diet
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91104.htm

Beer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91105.htm

Bowling Bloopers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9267.htm

Boy & Labrador
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9268.htm

Brass Pole
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9269.htm

Bud Light Wheel
http://www.buffaloschips.com/92610.htm

Brownie
http://www.buffaloschips.com/92699.htm

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Eleveator Chips
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There are un-written rules that everyone who rides elevators follow
whether they know it or not. It's not something that anyone has
placed into effect by law... It's just the way things are....

1. When you are waiting for an elevator and there are two sets, the
one that is the greatest distance from you will open first.

2. While you are riding the elevator, it is not permissible to look
anyone in the eyes. The proper place to stare isat the floor or at
the numbers.

3. The person at the very back of the elevator will always be the
one who needs off first.

4. If you are on the top floor of a 32 story building and needed to
go the 1st floor, the elevator will stop 31 times before you reach
the ground.

5. If you get off on the wrong floor and realize it the instant
your foot hits the ground outside the elevator, it's much too
embarrassing to admit you are wrong, so you stay outside the door
and act like you know what you're doing then catch the next one and
hope all the people you were with have gotten off.

6. When there are six elevator doors, the one you stand in front of
will be the last to open.

7. When the elevator is the most full, one of two people will be on
with you: an extremely sick man who coughs constantly and then gets
off on the same floor you do, or a lady with a baby that screams
through the entire ride.

8. Don't pass gas in an elevator even if you are all alone because
when you do, the very next stop will have ten people waiting to get
on. It's always best to wait until the elevator is full then no one
knows who to blame.

9. If you speak to a stranger in an elevator there will always be
nervous laughter.

10. The friendliest person on the elevator that insists on talking
to you will always have bad breath and body odor.

11. Elevators force us to be close to people that we would never
choose to be around otherwise. If you want a cultural experience,
spend a day riding elevators around town.

12. The first person to get on the elevator gets the command
position next to the buttons so that they can feel important when
people ask them to punch their floor for them.

13. While waiting on an elevator, there will always be one person
to comment on how slow the elevator is and then push the up or down
button over and over as if that will make it speed up.

14. Once inside the elevator that same person will repeatedly punch
the button for their floor thinking that this also will speed up the
elevator.

15. On top of the list of the most annoying elevator pet peeves is
the parent who will allow their child to push the buttons and then
smile at you after the kid has pushed all 26 buttons while you are
on the first floor needing to get to the 25th floor. Then at every
floor the kid will yell "Is this where we get off?"

16. The floor that is labeled the 1st floor is not really the 1st
floor but is in reality the basement. The 1st floor is actually
labeled the 2nd floor.

17. If you are not in any hurry, there will always be an empty
elevator just waiting with the doors open just for you by yourself.

18. In buildings where smoking is allowed, there will always be one
person who insist on taking the last drag off their cigarette
putting it out then waiting to exhale until the elevator door closes
with you trapped inside.

19. If a child rides the elevator, they will have a balloon that
just happens to be at your face level and there is no place to turn.
Popping the balloon is a strong temptation.

20. I would rather ride the elevator with people than take the
stairs alone!

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Mister Steamy - Steam Laundry Ball

Get soft, de-wrinkled clothes without an iron or dryer sheets.
Mister Steamy is the revolutionary new dryer ball with the power of
steam. Just add water, toss it in the dryer and as the dryer heats
up the ball steams up.

Turn your dryer into a wrinkle releasing machine.

Order today and we'll double your offer.

View Web Version

http://buffaloschips.com/steamb

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Toon Chips
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Just Once
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42051.htm

IRS
http://www.buffaloschips.com/42603.htm

It Fits
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32157.htm

Crane
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32158.htm

Marriage Penalty
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32159.htm

Coffee Break
http://www.buffaloschips.com/32160.htm

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Simply glide Turbo Snake down the drain, twirl, then pull out Turbo
SnakeT specially designed head grabs & locks onto hair clogs to
remove and free the drain instantly! What's best, its flexible
design easily maneuvers down the drain to seek out clogs without
having to remove the drain stopper. For bathroom sinks, showers &
tubs. Each set includes the Large Turbo Snake for Showers and Tubs,
Small Turbo Snake for Sinks, and Peel and Stick Storage Hook. Now
only $10.00 plus S&H or double the offer for an extra P&H.

View Website

http://buffaloschips.com/snake

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Limerick Chips
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Jenny taught erotic correction,
Told her student "To get an erection,
Put your dick in my mouth,
Move it north, move it south,
Now, you're getting a sense of direction!"

Her instructions were very explicit,
And more than a little illicit:
"Please fill up my cunny,
With fresh clover honey,
And butter my buns like a biscuit."

"Then wrap me up nice in a blanket,
And I'll sit on your staff while you crank it.
I'll put on some feathers,
And laces and leathers,
And wiggle my ass while you spank it."

"Now that your fingers are stinky,
Tie me up in some chains that are clinky...
Bring in some goats and a sheik,
Give my big titties a tweak,
And now, we can start getting kinky!"

"Forget what the chain and the whip meant,
Get the straps and the slings and a shipment
Of high-grade Vaseline,
And a strong trampoline,
And all of that other equipment!"

"Now, when we get the bedsprings a strummin',
That's when I'll start in a hummin',
Then quickly, my dear,
Put it into my ear,
So I can hear the sound of it comin'!"

"I don't know how much this is costing,"
Said her student, still covered with frosting,
"But I can say with affinity,
That I've lost my virginity...
Quite frankly, my dear... you're exhausting!"

Ross

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Background Check Them-You have the Right to Know the Truth!

As the news continues to reminds us, it's pretty easy to pretend to
be someone your not in this day and age. For the first time ever,
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Parting Chips
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This guy comes back home from work to find his wife has left him a
note "Off to the grocery store". He hasn't been "getting any" from
her, so he decides this is his chance and goes to the video store to
rent a porn flick. He puts the video in, and starts masturbating.
He's about to climax when all of a sudden his wife comes in, drops
her grocery bags, runs over and gives him the blowjob of his life.
Then she collects all the bags and goes to the kitchen. The guy is
sitting there, stunned, amazed at what just happened. After a couple
of minutes he regroups and goes to the kitchen where he finds his
wife chopping tomatoes. He asks her: "We haven't had sex for over
five years and all of a sudden you come in and blow me. What
happened?!". To which his wife replied: "I just washed the floor
this morning. I would rather go brush my teeth than to have to clean
the floor again."

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sotally Tober.....

Starkle starkle little twink
who the heck you are I think

I'm not under what you call
the alcofluence of incohol

I'm just a little slort of sheep
I'm not drunk like thinkle peep

I don't know who is me yet
but the drunker I stand here,
the longer I get

Just give me one more drink to fill me cup
'cuz I got all day sober to Sunday up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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OFFER NOT AVAILABE TO MINORS and ONLY GOOD IN THE USA

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adult Adult Adult

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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