[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!



 


THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!

 

Today, if Dorothy were to encounter people with
no brains, no hearts, and no courage -
She wouldn't be in Oz
She'd be in Congress


__________________

GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, what do you think? Is the economy getting
better? I see a lot of "Fat cats" at the bank
getting rich. But I don't see a lot of my friends
gaining a whole lotta ground. I'm still
hoping that the president will make it happen.
I mean, he DID promise change, right? Ok,,,so
he is saying, "Give me some time." That is a good
solution. I'm thinkin 20 to life might be a good
number

We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________

THE COMICS

peepshow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i020.html

bear huntin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i021.html

tv while yer eatin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i022.html

confession
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i023.html

free phone
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i024.html

a nitrate
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i025.html

sag
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i026.html

equal opportunity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i027.html

hallucinations
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i028.html

operation
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/i029.html
_____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

Billy Connolly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8810.html

Bear Grylls Gives Himself an Enema
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8811.html

who's husband?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8812.html

shii
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8813.html

He simply bought some Explosives online and blew up
a Dump Truck near a Nuclear Power Plant.
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8814.html

Crest tooth paste
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8815.html
_____________

Heavenly Father,
So far this year, you have taken away my favorite dancer,
 Michael Jackson, my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my
favorite actress, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite comedian,
Soupy Sales, my favorite pitchman, Billy Mays and my
favorite sidekick, Ed McMahon. Just so you know, my
favorite politicians are Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi
and Harry Reid.
Thank you,
_______________

The young Swedish au pair had been working for the
Schmitt's for more than a year. While hardworking and
efficient, she still struggled with English. One day,
she told Mrs. Schmitt that she had received good news
from her boyfriend Sven. "He is coming to visit me
from army next week!" "That's wonderful," the woman
replied. "How long is his furlough?" "Oh," the young
woman said, blushing, "About as long as Mr. Schmitt's.
Just a little thicker."
______________

The football coach noticed that his star tackle, Bubba
had so many women hanging around that he couldn't
possibly handle all of them. So one day he asked Bubba,
"Just what the hell is your secret?"
So Bubba replies, "Well Coach, whenever I'm about to have
sex, I always whip it out and bang it on the dresser
like a hammer. That numbs it and I can screw 'em forever!"
The coach went home early one day, and went to the bedroom.
He heard his wife in the shower. Seeing a window of
opportunity, he tore off his clothes and started banging
it on the dresser.
His wife stuck her head out of the shower and said,
"That you, Bubba?"
________________

Dr. Jones was thinking of taking over a country practice
in Scotland. It seemed to be very prosperous despite
the rural location and Dr. Jones asked the incumbent
Dr. McNab for the secret of his success.
"Well" said Dr. McNab"in summer the majority of the
patients fly off to Spain and other sunspots. They
often overdo the sunbathing eating and drinking and
are run down when they get back.
"But the wife and I don't go away. In the spring we
gather herbs and brew them up into a good old-fashioned
tonic on the kitchen stove.
"Soon the patients are looking for a pick-me-up and I
sell them the bottles at two pounds each. As the stove
we made the tonic on is used to heat the kitchen anyway
the money we make is pure profit."
"But what about the cost of providing the bottles?"
"Well laddie" said Dr. McNab"In the winter months folk
get depressed with the dark days and chill weather so I
get them to come in for a full check-up and for this I
always ask them to bring a urine specimen -- and that's
how we get our bottles back."
_____________

In a small town in Texas, the local madam operated a telephone
service. The police finally arrested her and seized her big
black book in which her talent was listed. Each officer on the
force was assigned a group of the names in it and told to check
them out.
After a week, the Chief called a meeting to get their reports.
When it became the turn of Detective Ralph to tell what he had
found, he said, "I'm sorry, Chief, but I think I should
disqualify myself. One of the ladies on whom I called is an
eighty-four-year-old woman. She is so charming that I have to
tell you that I have fallen in love with her."
"Damnation, boy!" exclaimed the Chief. "I sure am surprised at
you. You've been a policeman almost all your life -- and here
you are, falling for the oldest trick in the book."  
________________

A man walks into a bar and says, "Bartender, give me a shot of
the strongest thing you've got."  He takes the shot glass and
knocks it back.  He then asks for another one and knocks that
one back, too.
After about 5 or 6 of these the bartender decides that he's
going to cut the guy off.  He says to the guy, "Hey, what's
wrong with you?  Did you have a fight with your wife or
something?"
The man sighs and says, "Yeah, after the fight she said that
she wasn't going to speak to me for a whole week!"
The bartender, puzzled, says, "Well, what's wrong with that?"
The man replied, "Well today's the last day!"
___________

BUFFALO BILL

Comedy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhuhj.htm

Condom Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ggfff.htm

Condom Tester
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gfddr.htm

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

 

 



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