THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The primary benefit of practicing any art,
whether well or badly,
is that it enables one's soul to grow.
~Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
It is our thanksgiving weekend. The war dept.
works in a hospital so her schedule can be a
little complicated. The nice thing is, since
she has to work the day of Thanksgiving, that will
mean she has Christmas day weekend off. That
is a far better deal. She could have traded
days with different folks and managed to get
this coming Thursday off, by using some of her
P.T,O. time, but we really don't have a lot
planned anyway so it does not matter too much.
With a 3 day weekend this weekend, I don't
think we have a lot planned. She tells me we
are going to go outside and get the last
of the remaining leaves raked up. (Wonderful)
We raked once already, now we are just cleaning
up leaves that have blown in from the neighbors'
yard who do not bother.(don't you love neighbors?)
We also plan to take in a movie at the cheapseat
theater and do dinner over at Malarky's. That's
a nice local restaurant and it serves up a
absolutely fabulous prime rib dinner for around
14 bx and its a 10 ouncer. So I'm looking forward
to it. So anyways, if I miss an issue or two
this weekend, don't panic. I'll be here soon enough:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________________
THE COMICS
free lessons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a060.html
hallucinations
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a061.html
bypass
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a062.html
interstate signs
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a063.html
keep your eye on the ball
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a064.html
caught sumthin
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a065.html
your opinion
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/a066.html
_________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
worlds best bearkdancer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8413.html
housekeeping
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8414.html
lost
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8415.html
yee hah!!!
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8416.html
a big one
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8417.html
Don't know who wrote this but I gotta pass it on..
its good...
I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800
employees, all without a Blackberry that played music,
took videos, pictures and communicated with Face book
and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and
Face book, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids
and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the
modern way. I figured I could handle something as
simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for
Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitter on, Twee tie and
Twittererific Tweet deck, Twitpix and something that
sends every message to my cell phone and every other
program within the texting world. My phone was beeping
every three minutes with the details of everything except
the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I
am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone
in the garage in my golf bag. The kids bought me a GPS
for my last birthday because they say I get lost
every now and then going over to the grocery store or
library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with
the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use
when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at
Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the
nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to
take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board,
but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person
I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she
would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating" You would think
that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely
tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then
tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I
would make a right turn instead, it was not good.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell
her the name of the cross streets and while she is
starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy,
the GSP lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn
how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had
them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I
can lose three phones all at once and have run around
digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms
and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They
even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store.
You would think they could settle on something themselves
but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I
check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of
those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I
never remember to take them in with me. Now I toss it back
to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just
say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.."
Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.
______________
A Scot and an American were talking about playing
golf during the various seasons of the year.
"In most parts of the U.S. we cannot play in the winter
time. We have to wait until spring," the Yank said.
"Why, in Scotland we can even play in the winter time.
Snow and cold are no object to us!" exulted the Scot.
"Well, what do you do... paint your balls black?"
asked the American. "No, nothing that drastic," said the
Scotsman. "We just put on an extra sweater or two."
_____________
Maury and Pauly were at the bar again, exchanging confidences
after their 6th beer: "You know," says Maury, " I been
married 23 years, and I'm still in love with the same
woman I had my first sex with."
"'At's wonnerful," replies Pauly.
"Just don't say anything about it to my wife," continues
Maury, "if she ever found out about it, she'd kill me!"
_______________
"Look", says the extremely beautiful landlady, who
loves a bet! "If any one of you can tell me where you
live without stuttering I'll let you shag me!"
Quietly confident that no one will win, she turns to the
Englishman "Where do you live?" "M M M M Man Man Manch ..."
"No. You lose." says the beautiful landlady. Turning to
the Scotsman, "Okay - where do you live, Scotty?" she asks,
trying not to laugh.
"E E E Ed Ed Edin Edin Edin Edinb ..."
"Nope. You lose." says the gorgeous woman.
"And Paddy,where do you live?"
"London" blurts out the Irishman.
"Oh, bugger!" says the landlady.
A great cheer goes up in the pub and the landlady reluctantly
takes him by the hand and leads him upstairs.
Once in the bedroom she strips to her underwear, next she
takes off her bra exposing a voluptuous bosom.
Finally she slides off her panties then climbs into bed.
Paddy, with concentration furrowing his brow, climbs on
and goes for glory, and then - right at the climaxing
stroke, he suddenly screams out: " ....... D D D Derry!!"
_____________
Two very drunk gentlemen stood at the bar near closing
time. "I've got an idea," said one, "let's have one
more drink and then go and find us some girls to bang."
"No thanks," replied the other one, "I've got more
than I can handle at home."
"Great," replied the idea man, "then let's have one
more drink and go up to your place."
___________
BUFFALO BILL
Indian teacher explaining the word fuck
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90205.htm
Jihadist Trainees
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90206.htm
Jingle Balls
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90207.htm
______________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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