Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Eva was complaining that her computer was broke so I
took a break and went in and checked it out. After removing
it last week, it is full of spyware again. I don't really blame
Eva, because she can't read, I blame Nickelodeon or one
of her other children's sites for running ads for Zwinky and
other software downloads that are riddled with stuff like
My Web Search.
You have probably noticed that the subject lines now include
the date to make it a little easier to search for a certain issue
not only in Gmail but in our own archives.
In case you have forgotten, it is time to think about thawing
your turkey depending on method and size. Nothing worse
than trying to stuff a turkey and finding the giblets still frozen
inside. That having been said, if you are traveling this week
be careful.
Enjoy the chips ... buffalo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The teacher had caught little Johnny gambling several times. She
requested a conference with Johnny's dad who admitted that he also
had tried to break Johnny of his gambling habit. After many failed
efforts, Johnny one day (after school) called the teacher a
hypocrite.
"Why do you say that, Johnny," she asked.
"Because you are."
Again she asked, "why."
He said, "Because you're not a true blonde."
She demanded to know how much money Johnny had.
It came to about $50. She bet him $50 dollars she was a true blonde.
She went behind her desk and removed her panties.
Then she stood with her back to the door and pulled her dress up
showing her radiantly blonde pubic hair. Afterwards she called the
father and told him what she had done "in Johnny's best interest."
The father moaned and groaned and cried, "Oh, no," numerous times.
The teacher said, "Look, I did this for Johnny. Do you think it was
easy for me to pull up my dress and show Johnny my pussy? I'd think
you'd be understanding instead of critical!"
The father replied, "Oh, I'm not so upset that you showed Johnny
your pussy, it's just that..."
"Just that what?" the embarrassed teacher asked.
The father replied, "It's just that I decided to break Johnny of
betting myself, and this morning I bet him that he was wrong when he
boasted that before the day was over, he'd have you lifting your
skirt and showing him your pussy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"But this isn't an engagement ring." the young lady
protested. "Why it's just a tiny unset diamond."
"Yeah! I know." said the fellow, "And, it'll be
mounted in a cluster around a big one, the very day
after you are."
~~~~~~
Now that they are retired, my mother and father are discussing all
aspects of their future. "What will you do if I die before you do?"
Dad asked Mom. After some thought, she said that she'd probably look
for a house sharing situation with three other single or widowed
women who might be a little younger than herself, since she is so
active for her age. Then Mom asked Dad, "What will you do if I die
first?" He replied, "Probably the same thing."
~~~~~
Did you every wonder which gives a hermaphrodite a bigger turn-on, -
a man or a woman?
Or do they just get hard and wet at the same time?
~~~~~~
Woman of the 21st Century wears Gucci shoes, Prada bag, brings
cellphone and laptop, and thinks Cooking & Fucking are two cities in
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Apology Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of
general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have
called me a "dirty son of a bitch" to my face, I knew I must have
done something wrong at the office Christmas Party. The Office
Manager called me from the hospital today and as this is my last
day, I'd like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I would
prefer speaking to everyone personally, but all of you seem to go
deaf and dumb whenever I try to talk to you.
First, to our dear and beloved boss, I am sorry for all the things I
called you Friday afternoon. I'm very much aware that your father is
not a baboon, nor your mother a Chinese whore. Your wife is a
delightful woman, and my story of you buying her for 50 cents in
Tijuana was strictly a figment of my imagination. Your children are
undoubtedly yours, too. About the water cooler incident, you'll
never know how badly I feel about it, and I hope you didn't hurt
your head when they were trying to get the glass jug off.
To Mary, I express my deepest regrets. In my own defence, I must
remind you that you seemed to enjoy our little escapade on the
stairway as much as I did until the banister broke and we fell eight
feet to the second floor landing. In spite of the rupture you
incurred when I landed on top of you, I am sure you will admit that
when we landed it was one of the biggest thrills you have ever had.
Sam, you old cuss, you've just got to forgive me for that little
prank I played on you. If I had known you were goosey, I'd have
never done it. It would have been a lot worse if that fat lady
hadn't been standing right under the window you jumped through. She
really broke your fall a lot. People have been killed falling three
stories.
Gene, I regret telling the fireman it was you who turned in the
false alarm. But, of course, I had no way of knowing they would make
such a bad report of it. Those fire hoses sure have a lot of
pressure don't they? And the water is cold!!
Don, I know how you must feel about me. Opening the door to the
broom closet suddenly must have startled you and Millie quite badly,
and to think how hard you bumped your chin on the shelf when you
bent over to pull up your pants, it makes me sick. We'll have to get
together for dinner some night after the dentist finishes your
plates.
Mary, the only excuse I can offer for stealing all your clothes and
hiding them when I found you passed out in the ladies room, is that
I was drunk. Also, I want you to know I was very embarrassed when I
couldn't remember where I hid them and you had to go home in that
old sofa cover. Running your falsies up the flag pole was a bit too
much, but like I said, I was a little drunk.
To all of you, I am sorry. Setting Jan's panties on fire seemed
funny at the time, and it makes me sad to hear that her husband is
divorcing her because of it.
Urinating in everyone's drink was in bad taste, and not telling them
about it until all the drinks were gone was even worse.
Now that I have apologized to all of you, I know that I am forgiven.
Even though I no longer work there, I will do my darnest to come to
the picnic next Friday
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wine Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A dinner party of different nationalities had
arrived at a restaurant. They each ordered a
glass of wine, but when the wine arrived they
noticed that each of the glasses had a fly in
it.
* The Swede demanded to have new wine in the
same glass.
* The Englishman demanded to have new wine in
a new glass.
* The Finn picked the fly out of the wine and
drank the wine.
* The Russian drank the wine, fly and all.
* The Chinese ate the fly but left the wine.
* The jew caught the fly and sold it to the
Chinese.
* The Roman drank two thirds of the wine and
then demanded to have new wine.
* The Norwegian took the fly and went off to
fish for cod.
* The Irishman ground the fly and mixed it in
the wine, which he then donated to the
Englishman.
* The American sued the restaurant and claimed
for a 65 million dollar compensation for
mental suffering.
* The Scotsman grabbed the fly by the throat
and roared: 'Now spit out all that you
swallowed!!'
* The Ostrobothnian claimed it was an evil
democrat scheme and gave the waiter a nasty
stab with his knife. He also refused to drink
the wine, as this is women's business and
wondered loudly what is keeping the vodka he
ordered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are wandering through the
desert, hungry and hallucinating, when they come upon a rotting,
dead camel.
"Well," said the Englishman, "I support the Liverpool football club,
so I'll eat the liver."
"I support the Hearts club," said the Scotsman, "so I'll eat the
heart."
"I support Arsenal," said the Irishman, "but I seem to have lost my
appetite."
Morris returns from a long business trip and finds out that his wife
has been unfaithful during his time away.
"Who was it!!!???" he yells. "That bastard Goldstein?"
"No," replied his wife. "It wasn't Goldstein."
"Was it Feldman, that dirty old man?"
"No, not him."
"Aha! Then it must have been that idiot Rabinovich!"
"No, it wasn't Rabinovich either..."
Morris was now fuming. "What's the matter?" he cried.
"None of my friends are good enough for you?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stuffing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stuffing Recipe for Thanksgiving
This turkey recipe includes the use of popcorn as a stuffing --
imagine that. When I found this recipe, I thought it was perfect for
people like me, who just are not sure how to tell when poultry is
thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give this a try:
8 - 15 lb. turkey
1 cup melted butter
1 cup stuffing (Pepperidge Farm is Good.)
1 cup uncooked popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'
to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter
salt, and pepper. Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in
baking pan with the neck end toward the back of the oven.
Listen for the popping sounds. When the turkey's ass blows the oven
door open and the bird flies across the room, it's done. And, you
thought I didn't cook...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Friendship Key
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Give Thanks
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Auslogics Disk Defrag (Disk Defragmenter) Its Free Via Wesley
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Christmas Gifs
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The Woodshed - Christmas Midi Files
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Movie Links
Hot Sex
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How I crashed my Harley
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How I Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected
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How to get rid of a one night stand
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How to carry plywood
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Love Bird
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Love Hurts
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Men Invented Everything
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hell Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The lawyer died. Having not lived an
all-that-honest life he found Himself at
the gates of Hell.
"Welcome to Hell" announced the Devil
greeting him warmly.
"Glad you could join us. As your last
taste of free will, you are allowed to
choose which of three possible places
that you will spend the rest of eternity."
There were three doors behind the Devil.
He opened the first door. Flames shot into
the room and the lawyer could see thousands
of people amidst the fire.
"No" said the lawyer. "Not this one."
The Devil opened the second door. The
lawyer could see thousands of People
slaving away at a large rock-pile. They
were all being whipped as they Hammered
the large boulders into smaller boulders.
"No" again said the lawyer.
Finally, the devil opened up that last door
which showed thousands of People in a
incredibly large lake with vomit up to their
chins. All of them Were chanting
'Don't make waves, don't make waves...'
"That's awful!!" commented the lawyer in
repulsion.
"You think that's bad?" asked the devil, "you
should see it when the angels spend the
weekend here with their jet-skis!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bad Milk
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed,
Little Bo Peep was giving him head,
As soon as he came she started to weep,
She knew by the taste he'd been fucking her sheep.
Said a thoughtful young stud of Brasilia,
"One orgasmic spasm would fillya,
So I'll just let the rest
Gush out on your chest;
If I shot it inside it'd killya."
A decent young fellow named Herm
Was equipped with a geyser-like worm:
The size wasn't much
But its volume was such
That his lovers did backstroke in sperm.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were two teenage girls who decided they
wanted to go into a
package store and see if they could buy some
liquor. So they parked
their car and one girl said to her friend you
wait here I'm going in to
see if I can get us something to drink. If I
am not back in 15 minutes
come in and look for me and see if maybe
I got busted and might need you
to call my parents or something. So the girl
disappears into the store
and 15 minutes goes by and the 2nd girl
is getting worried about her
friend so she goes to the front door of
the package store to see if
she's ok and the door is locked! And all
of the lights are off and no
one is in sight. She looks at her watch and
says gee it's too early for
the store to be closed so she decides to go
around to the back and try
to get in that way. She goes to the backdoor,
which is also locked, but
it has a small window. So she peeks into the
window and sees that the
owner of the package store has her friend
tied up in a standing position
with her arms over her head and she is butt
naked and the owner of the
store is licking her friend all over her body
from head to toe. She
freaks out and says OMG I better go call 911.
So she goes to a phone and
calls the police and finally they get there
and they bang and bang on
the door until the owner finally opens it.
They enter the store and tell
the owner you better get this girl dressed
and out of here right away.
The girl says but wait!! I want to press
charges and the cops tell her
you can't press charges she says He had me
tied up naked He gets up and
asks them why they are fighting. The police say
I am sorry you cannot
press charges and the girls ask again but why
not? The police say because he has a "liquor
license"!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Important men in a women's life.
1. A Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
2. A Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
3. A Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the
back?"
4. A Beautician - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
5. An Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you
will
love it!"
6. A Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon,
you'll
lose
interest!"
7. And most important...
A Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice,
always
eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie
still!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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