THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Always be yourself because the people that
matter don't mind, and the ones
who mind, don't matter
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I woke up yesterday morning and the war department
reminded me that it was Wednesday. I find
it difficult to keep the days straight. they
all run together for me. What is unique for me
about Wednesday is its garbage day. And I had
forgotten to get garbage tags. (again) Well,
there are a couple of solutions: you can run
out real quick, early in the morning, and pick up
tags if you want to, at the gas station on the
corner. But we had already cashed in the pop
bottles, and I had nadda in the billfold. And a search
through the house for all loose change yielded a
grand total of only a buck ten. Tags are a $1.50, So
that was not an option. Sometimes, you can sneak
a bagful of trash into your next door neighbors'
pile and if the trash man is nice, he will take
just one bag without a tag. But that can back fire
on you if he refuses, and then the neighbor gets mad.
Or, if you stand and wait for the garbage man,
you can run out to the street when he comes around.
And if you heave them in the garbage truck
yourself, he won't say anything. Amazing, the things
you do because you forgot to buy trash tags.
Anyway, I'm standing out there waiting and the
next door neighbor came out for a ciggy. And
we stood for a minute to "chew the fat over the fence."
Then Kevin disappeared inside his house for a minute
and came back and handed me a whole stack of tags.
I was going to politely refuse his kindness, but
he pressed them upon me and I accepted. Kevin then
helped me tag the bags and explained his generosity.
He says he goes up and buys the same kind of
construction paper at Office Max, then he scans the
tags on his 3 in 1 scanner. Counterfiet garbage tags.
With my luck, I'll probably get 15 to 20 years for it.
Amazing what people will do to save a dime.
go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
see what happens
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z010.html
it may seem silly
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z011.html
the day after
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z012.html
you're not fat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z013.html
in the window
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z014.html
for heaven's sake
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z015.html
next time
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z016.html
Dr Og
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z017.html
sorry ladies
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z018.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
internet tech support
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8306.html
kitty surprise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8307.html
down boner down
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8308.html
another blooper funny
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8309.html
drunk driving
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8310.html
parking problem
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8311.html
A paramedic was asked on a local TV talk-show
program: "What was your most unusual and
challenging 911 call?"
"Recently we got a call from that big white
church at 11th and Walnut," the paramedic
said. "A frantic usher was very concerned
that during the sermon an elderly man passed
out in a pew and appeared to be dead. The
usher could find no pulse and there was no
noticeable breathing."
"What was so unusual and demanding about
this particular call?" the interviewer asked.
"Well," the paramedic said, "we carried out
four guys before we found the one who was
dead."
________________
Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling
after 25 years of marriage.
When asked what the problem was, Eileen went
into a passionate, painful tirade listing every
problem they had ever had in the 25 years they
had been married. She went on and on and on:
neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness,
feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry
list of unmet needs she had endured over the course
of their marriage. Finally, after allowing this
to go on for a sufficient length of time,
the therapist got up, walked around the desk and
after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her,
unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands
on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly,
while kissing her passionately as her husband
Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!
Eileen shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and
quietly sat down while basking in the
glow of being highly aroused. The therapist
turned to Bob and said, 'This is what your wife
needs at least three times a week..
Can you do this?' Bob thought for a moment and replied,
'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays,
but on Fridays, I play golf.
____________
Steve is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that
he's worried about getting real seasick. The doctor tells him,
"Just eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock."
Steve says, "Will that keep me from getting sick?"
The doctor says, "No, but it'll look real pretty in the water."
__________
The English Penny
EU Directive No. 456179
In order to meet the conditions for joining
the Single European currency, all citizens of
the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern
Ireland must be made aware that the phrase 'Spending
a Penny' is not to be used after 31st December 2009 .
From this date, the correct terminology will be: 'Euronating'.
Thank you for your attention.
___________
An Australian family is most concerned that
their 30-year-old son is unmarried.
So they call a marriage broker and ask her to
find their son a good wife. The broker comes
over to their house and spends a long time asking
many questions of the son and his parents as to
what they want in a wife/daughter- in-law.
They give her a long shopping list of requirements.
The marriage broker takes a long time looking and
finally asks to visit the family again.
She tells them of a wonderful woman she has found.
She says she's just the right age for the son...
she keeps a perfectly clean home... is of sober habits,
and regularly attends church every Sunday...
she is a wonderful cook... she loves children
and wants a large family and, to top it all off,
she's drop dead gorgeous. After hearing all this,
the family is very impressed and begins to get
excited about the prospects of a wedding in
the near future. At this point, the son gets up
the courage to ask, "Is she also good in bed?"
And the marriage broker answers, "That I'm not
sure of.... Some say yes...
some say no and some says just so, so."
_____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Robokill Shooting Game
http://tinyurl.com/ch4p79
Bad Start to Week
http://tinyurl.com/32rhpn
Warlords Fighting Game
http://tinyurl.com/cd8ulm
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
New Recruiting Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/alaklk.htm
Niggar Family
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asjskks.htm
Nissan Pathfinder
http://www.buffaloschips.com/azsdxs.htm
________________
Dad Blanket
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000407.html
Daddy Time
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000408.html
Damn Fine Horse
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000409.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment