THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
We should all be concerned with saving the planet.
its the only one with beer
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
For the benefit of those who read yesterday's postman
and read my comments about garbage, the garbage
tag I am referring to is essentially a city tax
for picking up garbage. Just that instead of getting
a regular bill in the mail like sensible cities do,
here in our fair city, we pay by the bag, and hence,
we tag it. And of course, if you have a large item,
you have to have a bulk sticker. Its like 12 bux for
an appliance, 5 dollars for a chair, etc.
Now, lest you accuse my city of being mentally
challenged(which many may think it is)there is
reason for this method. We have a couple of different
dumps around the city, with a couple trucks. They
ganged up on the "City monopoly" on the trash system,
and sued a few years back. Essentially, they said
the city was denying them opportunity to work in the
city limits. As a result, the city fathers solved the
problem with the tag system. They issue a different
color of trash tag for each garbage hauler. thus,
you could choose which trash haulers you wanted,
simply by picking the color of tag you wanted, each
hauler having his own color. After a
very long and expensive legal battle, the private haulers
did in fact win the right to haul garbage. However, we
here in most of the city still only have one hauler,
Those who won the lawsuit have gone out of
business and all the other folks who are left don't want
to pick up garbage in the city as their drivers fear
getting shot, since it is still dark in the early morning
hours of trash pick up. (For the same reason, you can't
get Papa John's to deliver a pizza after dark. But that's
another story). We are still stuck with no choice
but city trash hauling, and a nonsensicle garbage pickup
taxing/tag system. But, fortunately, there has not been
any reports in the paper about dead garbage truck guys.
I wonder how much they charge to haul away dead bodies?
I figger it must be expensive, so that's why they dump
dead bodies in the river. Go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
I need another computer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z020.html
new and improved spam
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z021.html
wife material
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z022.html
a pacemaker malfunction
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z023.html
got meth?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z024.html
in and out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z025.html
mark my words
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z026.html
this is how you do it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z027.html
the kiss of life
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z028.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
fifth gear engaged
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8312.html
funny short
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8313.html
don't get arrested in Minneapolis
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8314.html
steel rain
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8315.html
GW at the UN
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8316.html
Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and
an idiot, were out riding in the car when it
crashed into a tree.Before anyone knows it,
the three men found themselves standing before
the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where St.
Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the
fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, therefore
St Peter has agreed to limit the number of
people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can
ask me a question which I don't know or cannot
answer, then you're worthy enough to go to
Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give
me the most comprehensive report on Socrates'
teachings," With a snap of his finger,
a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded it
was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another
snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked, "Give me
the most complicated formula you can ever
think of!" With a snap of his finger,
another stack of paper appeared. The mathematician
read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct.
"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of
his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.
The idiot then stepped forward and said,
"Bring me a chair!". The Devilbrought forward a
chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat."
The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on
the chair and let out a very loud fart.
Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my
fart come out from?" The Devil inspected the
seat and said, "The third hole from the right."
"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole."
The idiot went to Heaven.
_____________
One day there was a guy who was driving down
the road in his jeep on his way home from work
and his car broke down. He looked down the road
and saw a pink house and decided that he would see
if he could stay there for the night. He walked
up to the house and rang the pink door bell and
a pink lady opened up the pink door. He asked her
if he could spend the night and she said ok. So
she lead him down a pink hallway, up the pink
staircase, down another pink hallway and into a
pink guest bedroom. She said that he could stay
there. Then another guy was driving down the same
road and his car broke down infront of the same
pink house. He went up to the house and rang the
bell. The lady said he could stay there and lead
him down a pink hallway into a pink living room,
showed him a pink couch and said he could sleep
there. Then another guy came down the road and his
car broke down. He asked the lady if he could stay
there for the night. She lead him down the pink
hallway up the pink stairs and down another pink
hallway and into a pink den and showed him a chair
and said he could sleep there. The next morning all
the guys went down the kitchen. The lady asked them
what they wanted, she had pink cheerios, pink fruit
loops and pink milk w/pink bowls and pink spoons.
The first guy said he wanted cheerios, the second
wanted fruitloops and the third wanted cheerios.
What's the moral of the story???
2 out of 3 people like cheerios better than fruitloops.
____________
A certain virginal and shy college freshman was
lucky to have a roommate who was considerably
more experienced. When the bashful boy broke down
and explained his predicament, his roommate was
quick to offer to set him up with a blonde who'd
made the rounds of the campus. Just take this bimbo
out to dinner and a show, and then let nature take
its course, he explained reassuringly. This girl
knows what the score is, and she's even a natural
blonde. The roommate arranged the date as promised.
The freshman was delighted by his cute, outgoing
companion and they spent the evening dining and dancing.
On the way home he parked his car in a dark lane,
broke out in a cold sweat, and blurted out, "Gosh,
I sure would love to have a little pussy."
"I would too," sighed the blonde, "Mine's the
size of a goddamn milk pail."
_____________
When I grow up I want to be a pilot because it's
a fun job and easy to do. That's why there are
so many pilots flying around these days.
Pilots don't need much school. They just have to
learn to read numbers so they can read their instruments.
I guess they should be able to read a road map, too.
Pilots should be brave to they won't get scared it
it's foggy and they can't see, or if a wing or motor
falls off. Pilots have to have good eyes to see
through the clouds, and they can't be afraid of thunder
or lightning because they are much closer to them than we are.
The salary pilots make is another thing I like. They
make more money than they know what to do with. This is
because most people think that flying a plane is dangerous,
except pilots don't because they know how easy it is.
I hope I don't get airsick because I get carsick and
if I get airsick, I couldn't be a pilot and then
I would have to go to work.
_______________
"It's easy to identify people who can't count to ten. They're in
front of you in the supermarket express lane."
- June Henderson
_______________
HOW TO WRITE GOOD
by Frank L. Visco
My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:
1... Avoid alliteration. Always.
2... Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3... Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.)
4... Employ the vernacular.
5... Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
6... Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
BUFFALO Bill
blind les
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kgjdklgidri.htm
blind my ass
http://www.buffaloschips.com/nnvmmv,b,.htm
blind nurses
http://www.buffaloschips.com/qwbbgd.htm
____________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
And They Chant His Name
http://tinyurl.com/kpxvyh
Governor of Poker
http://tinyurl.com/aubzcy
Easy Meal in Africa
http://tinyurl.com/8grael
_________________
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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