Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Thirty-four years ago the tenth the Great Lakes ore freighter Edmund
Fitzgerald went to the bottom in a storm with all hands on board.
Normally she would have been just one of the hundreds of ships lost
on a lake that becomes a living Hell when a winter storm comes out
of the North but a Canadian singer, Gordon Lightfoot wrote a ballad
about her and her story became immortal symbolizing the life of the
sailor on the Great Lakes. Those who watch the Discovery Channel and
History Channel probably know her story well and the possible events
that led to her demise and can feel the terror the 29 men aboard her
must have felt those last few hours praying that their ship would
make it the last few miles to Whitefish Point and the shelter of the
bay. That proud ship that set many records for first and last runs
of the season and tonnage hauled is now a tomb for the 29 men more
than 500 feet down.
Those who have never heard the story of the Fitzgerald and
the storm or want to read more here are two websites that
you may want to visit. As of two years ago the bell will no longer
ring at the Maritime Sailor's Cathedral for the sailors of the
Fitzgerald. Instead it has been decided to have a service to honor
all those who have died on the Great Lakes on a different date. It
does seem only right that they do it that way too as it is the final
resting place of many ships and men that hauled the materials to
build this nation.
There will still however be a service and reading of the roll at the
Whitefish Point Shipwreck Museum.
Two years ago after the sinking of the Carrier Oriskany as a natural
reef , I received a letter from Mary telling the story of her
brother Oliver " Buck " Champeau from Wisconsin who was third
engineer on the Fitzgerald when she sunk and also a crew member of
the Oriskany. It is indeed a small world and we are not far
separated from any event. His name and those of his shipmates shall
not be forgotten.
S.S. Edmund Fitzgerald Online
http://www.ssefo.
Edmund Fitzgerald Maiden Season
http://www.boatnerd
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Postal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to
process all the mail that had illegible addresses.
One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with
no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was
about.
The letter read:
Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all
the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over
for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with,
have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please
help me?
Sincerely, Edna
The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other
workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few
dollars.
By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put
into an envelope and sent to the woman.
The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of
Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.
Christmas came and went.
A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.
All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:
Dear God,
How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner
for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.
Sincerely, Edna
Peggy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Retired Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
RETIRED HUSBAND AT WAL-MART
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband, Mr. Bill Fenton has been
causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this type
of behavior and have considered banning the entire family from
shopping in any of our stores.
We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance
equipment. Three of our clerks are attending counseling from the
trouble your husband has caused. All complaints against Mr. Fenton
have been compiled and are listed below.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MEMO: RE: Mr. Bill Fenton - Complaints - Things Mr. Bill Fenton has
done while his spouse was shopping in our store:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in
people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-
minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of
M&M's on layaway.
6 September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted
area.
7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told
other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from
the bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins
to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a
mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously loudly humming
the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12 December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look"
using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices
again!!!!"
And; last, but not least!
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door and waited
awhile; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in
here!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Golf Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
THE USGA WOULD LIKE TO INFORM ALL GOLFERS -
New Redistribution Rules Under 0bama
There is a possibility of MAJOR rule changes to the game of golf,
this may occur sometime after November 4.
This is only a preview as the complete rule book is being written
now.
Here are a couple of basic changes.
Golfers with handicaps:
- below 10 will have their green fees increase by 35%
- between 11 and 18 will see no increase in green fees
- above 18 will play for free and even get a check from the
club/course played
The $ amount put in for bets will be as follows:
-for handicaps below 10 an additional $10
-between 11 and 18 no additional amount
-above 18 you will receive the total amount in the pot and you do
not even have to play.
The term "gimme putt" will be changed to "entitlement" and will be
used as follows:
-handicaps below 10, no entitlements
-handicaps above 11 to 17, entitlements for putter length putts
-handicaps above 18, if on green, no need to ever putt, just pick it
up
These entitlements are intended to bring about fairness in scoring
so that the final scores of all players will be about the same.
In addition, a Player will be limited to a max of one birdie and/or
six pars, any excess must be given to those fellow players who have
not yet scored a birdie or par. Only after all players have received
a birdie or par from the player making the birdie or par, can that
Player begin to count his score again.
The current USGA handicap system will be used for the above purposes
but the term "net score" will be available only for scoring those
players with handicaps 18 and above.
This is intended to "redistribute" the success of winning by making
sure that in every competition the above 18 handicap players will
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These new Rules are intended to CHANGE the game of golf. Golf must
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Donation Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
With so much turmoil in the world, God decided to pay a visit to
Earth to check things out. He strolled into a bar and approached
the first man he saw. "If you believe in me enough to give me
$50," he said, "I will grant you eternal life."
"Sorry, I'm an atheist," the fellow replied, "and have never
believed in God."
God walked up to another man and made the same offer.
"Well, I'm an agnostic and not really sure if I believe in you or
not," the guy said, "but here's 50 bucks, just in case."
As the Lord turned away, a third man ran up to him. "I'm Pat
Robertson and don't really care if you're God or not," he said
excitedly. "Just teach me the trick you did with the agnostic and
I'll give you $100."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Male Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I. Body Aches For Three Days
a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
b. Time spent debating wife whether or not to see doctor.
c. "SCREW doctors" wins the day.
d. Sleep the days away.
II. Upper Respiratory Infection
a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
b. Hacking up some pretty scary stuff.
c. Time spent debating wife whether or not to see doctor.
d. screw doctors" wins the day.
e. Can't sleep. Watch reruns of Green Acres.
III. Ear Infections
a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
b. Left ear clogs, pressure mounts.
c. Time spent debating wife whether or not to see doctor.
d. screw doctors" wins the day.
e. Right ear clogs, now almost completely deaf.
f. Impersonation of Helen Keller nearly dead on.
"Ruh rim rey rood. Har, har, har."
g. Can't sleep. Watch reruns of Bonanza.
IV. Break Down and See Doctor
a. "Next time, don't wait. Here, take this, this and this."
b. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
V. No Progress, Ears Ringing, See Specialist
a. "Maybe ringing will go away, maybe it won't.
Let's see which way it goes. $150 please."
b. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
VI: Ears Clear Up, Chest Gets Worse, Ears Reinfect,
Chest Gets Better
a. Sex with wife impossible. Masturbation impossib ... ok, I
masturbated.
b. Go back to original doctor. "Here, take this, this, this, this
this and this. Call me if you bleed out of your ass."
c. Still sick after five weeks.
d. The sound "Fuck doctors" replaces ringing in my ears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Penis Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You have seen emoticon tits, and asses. Now it is time for you to
take
a gander at the Penises...
8> A Cold dick
8===> A Hot dick
C==(( ) Cave man dick (side view)
( .|=|. ) Tit screwing
} top view of a senior citizen's hard-on
:-) -: Smilie with an erection
:-( :- Impotent (Or let down).
:-( -8 Blue balls.
;-) o===8 Braggart.
:-\ 8o After a cold shower.
;-) ===8 Circumcised.
8-O --* Just before doubling over with pain.
:-) -^-: In need of some corrective surgery.
:-) :-... Taking a leak.
:-} -oo-: Taking matters into hand.
:-o ^^: After zipping up fly too fast.
B=D Short penis
B~~D Limp penis
B==Q Prince Albert penis
-> teeny pee pee
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/The Old Time Farmer
http://silverandgol
May You Always Via Carol
http://www.openmyey
carolyn w/ If That Isn't Love ~ Elvis
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Carol w/Childhood Friend
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HydroElectric Power~How it Works
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Area 51 Military Base Directory
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Russian Aircraft Museum by Night Via Wesley
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BreakTheChain.
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Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
The ANSI Character Set
http://www.fingerti
CodeAve.com
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Free online .gif making tool Via Wesley
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Nanny Animals
http://www.shangral
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Movie Links
Blonde Arm Wrestling
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Blonde That Started It All
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Boy And His Train
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Brains
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Burglary Commercial
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My family Reunion
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National Anthem Cactus
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Negotiating a Real Piece of Work
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New Energy Drink
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New Guy In Prison
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Trivia Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Ibo tribe of Nigeria had three punishments for adulterous
couples, each increasingly ghastly. The least harsh involved tying
the couple up, putting a stake through the man into the woman, and
carrying them off to a pool filled with loathsome reptiles.
Queen Anne had a transvestite cousin, Lord Cornbury, whom she
assigned to be governor of New York and New Jersey. The colonists
were not amused.
In 1964, a jury awarded $50,000 to a woman who claimed a cable car
accident in San Francisco had made her into a nymphomaniac.
One expert says that in New Guinea, women are only attracted to men
who have an ampalang.
The young males of Sambia in New Guinea must perform a ritualized
homosexual act with tribe elders until they reach adulthood. When
they get older, they have sex with women, during which they hold
their noses with clothespin like devices.
A favorite hangout for prostitutes in 17th century London was St.
John's Park. Even though the gates were locked at 10 p.m., 6,500
people had authorized keys (many unauthorized keys were also in
circulation. At the time, London had about 50,000 prostitutes.
Some Romanian villagers sing a song that accompanies a traditional
goat dance. The lyrics to the song are so sexually suggestive that
Cable News Network refuses to translate them.
According to Blitz Magazine in Bombay, India, 28 year old Nagaba
Jugalgiri pulled a car with his penis in front of Mahalakshmi Temple
in protest of India's 1989 oil crisis.
Kellogg's Corn Flakes were invented by a Dr. Kellogg in hopes that
they would reduce masturbation.
In 1746, a special hospital for the treatment of venereal diseases
known as a "lock hospital" was opened on Harrow Road in London. In
medieval times, lock hospitals only housed lepers.
According The Solitary Vice, a book for doctors that came out in the
1890s, women who masturbate tend to eat a lot of foods containing
mustard and vinegar.
Cleopatra had stones inserted in her vagina to prevent her from
getting pregnant.
One punishment for an adulterous wife in medieval France was to make
her chase a chicken through town naked.
Simone de Beauvoir had her first orgasm thanks to Nelson Algren.
As late as 1940, a candidate for the U.S. Naval Academy was rejected
if it was discovered that he masturbated.
According to a couple of recent biographies, Lord Baden-Powell,
founder of the Boy Scouts, was a repressed homosexual who was
obsessed with looking at photos of naked young boys.
An American urologist once bought Napoleon's penis for $40,000.
Women were discouraged from having orgasms during the Middle Ages
because it was thought that orgasms made women less capable of
getting pregnant
Francis I of France once said, "Anyone who doesn't have a mistress
is a nincompoop."
Catherine of Medici, the Italian wife of Henry II of France,
organized prostitution as an important arm of diplomacy, and
employed her maids of honor to achieve her ends
Modern France ended state regulated prostitution in 1946. The
movement was led by Marthe Richard, who later changed her opinion.
At the beginning of the 16th century, Rome had more registered
prostitutes proportionately, than Venice. Rome, which had 6,800 out
of total population of 90,000 versus Venice, which had 11,654 out of
300,000.
Removing pubic hair was a fashionable sexual practice among European
women in the 16th century.
Charlemagne thought prostitution should be punishable by death in
some cases.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
boobs
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boob water
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book marked
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Boone Crockett
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Boone Crockett2
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily,
Liked to screw with a friendly Israeli.
Just the thought of his schmuck
Got her ready to fuck,
Which they did six or seven times daily.
A methodical fellow named Wade,
Could recall every girl that he'd laid.
He recorded each poke,
Every thrust, every stroke,
And precisely how much he'd been paid.
There once was a miss from Wake Forest
Who had a gigantic clitoris.
Most people, you see,
Thought her name was Marie,
But her intimates knew her as Horace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If your wife asks you, "Do these pants make me look
fat?" I think a good answer is, "I'm sleeping with your sister." It
will distract her from the pants, and let's face it, she was going
to
find out about you two sooner or later.
Sandra and Cindy were talking about Sandra"s Friday night at the
local pub.
Sandra was saying, "...and then the creep said, 'Why don't we play
carpenter? We'll both get hammered; then I'll nail you'!"
Cindy replied, "Oh, gross! What did you say?"
Sandra answered smugly, "I said, 'No, thanks! You didn't bring
enough
wood'."
A man is in a hotel lobby and wants to ask the clerk a question. As
he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and his elbow pokes her in the breast. They are both
quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart
is as soft as your breast, I know
you'll forgive me." She replies," If your penis is as hard as your
elbow, I'm in room 436."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy goes into a bar and settles down to have a beer. He's looking
around when he sees a piano sitting in the corner. "A piano!" he
exclaims. "Hey, bartender, can I play it?" "No, man. That doesn't
belong
to the bar. It's the piano player's. He doesn't like anyone touching
it." But the gentleman persists, promising he won't hurt it, that
he's a
piano player, and knows how to treat a piano. He persists for an
hour,
and finally the bartender gets sick of it an gives in. "OK, u can
play
one song. ONE song! If the piano player catches u, I'll be the one
in
trouble." The man promises one song, and goes to the piano and
begins
playing. As the bartender listens, he is captivated by the tune. It
only
lasts a few minutes, and the gentleman closes up the piano and
returns
to the bar. "Man," the bartender exclaims. "That's a beautiful tune!
I
don't remember ever hearing it before." "No, I wrote that tune." "U
wrote it?? My God, why don't u get it published. It's beautiful!"
"I've
tried, but no one will publish it." "Ur kidding?? They won't publish
a
beautiful tune like THAT?" "Yeah, well, they liked the tune, they
didn't
like the name." "Well, what did u call it?" "I Love U So Fuckin'
Much I
Could Shit."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1518
Bambi
Rudy comes into the house all excited...
Rudy: Pops come quick, Bambi is outside.
BJ: What?
Rudy: Yes, Bambi from the movie.
BJ: Oh, I thought you meant Bambi from the nightclub.
Diana pops BJ on the back of the head.
BJ: I was just kidding.
They head outside and see a baby fawn in the backyard hiding amounst
the trees.
Diana: What do you think happened?
BJ: It is hunting season... Perhaps her parents.. Or she/he is
lost.
Diana: We should do something.
BJ: Get a rubber glove and put some warm milk in it and cut one of
the
fingertips and we will try our best.
Diana did as requested and soon, much to their surprise the baby had
overcome the fear and was eating.
Diana: What do we do next?
BJ: I do not know, call the wild life commission I guess.
As they walked back into the house the fawn started to follow but
then.... The mother appeared and the fawn darted to the mother
and they were gone. A moment for the ages. A time where man and
wild beast were one.
The herd in Guthrie
(ficitional, but it could happen)-
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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