Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Michigan State is headed for a bowl game for the third year
in a row. Of course that isn't all that hard with 34 bowl games
over a three week period with names like the Chic-fil-A bowl,
Meineke Car Care Bowl, San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia
Bowl. and the Little Caesars Pizza Bowl being held in Detroit.
There are 6 bowl games that the Big Ten are eligible for so
with 11 teams competing for those spots you only have to win
half your games to go to a bowl.
I tuned into the game at the end of the third quarter because I
was busy with mail and lost the time and when I found the
channel and Purdue was ahead by four. A minute later Purdue
got another touchdown and with a 11 point lead in the fourth
quarter I was already bracing myself for another disappointing
loss when Michigan State's quarterback threw a 73 yard
touchdown pass. The score bounced back and forth with a
blocked kick, double reverses, and quarterback sneaks.
With the score 37-34 and MSU ahead Purdue got the ball
deep in their territory. Now when you have 71 points in a game
you could say the defense wasn't the best in the world for
either team but MSU found someway to stop them and won
the game.
Ok so I bored you with college football but there is only two
months left and I'm not sure what I'll write about after that.
Enjoy the chips ..... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Sperm Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A swarm of sperms is swimming frantically through the murky passages
of a human body. The main group is being led by a scout sperm who
is running up head, making sure they are all going the right way.
At some point the scout sperm goes round the corner and disappears
for a second. When the main group reaches the spot, they see the
scout sperm stand still, just his little tail whipping left and
right, his little head wagging this way and that. He looks really
perplexed.
The sperms in the main group start yelling, "What`s the
matter, why are we stopping? C`mon, we gotta run, we gotta
job to do, an ovum to meet..!"
The scout sperm shushes them impatiently, then sniffs the air up
ahead some more and announces grimly: "Brothers, we`ve been had...
We`re up somebody`s ass!" "We must be in the sequel to that movie
Brokeback Mountain."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Rodney Dangerfield says
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scottish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scottish Lonely Hearts Real ads from Scottish lonely-hearts column.
Grossly overweight Buckie turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23 stone,
Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South American, for tango
sessions, candlelit dinners and humid nights of screaming passion.
Must have own car and be willing to travel. Box 09/08
Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything considered.
Box 06/03
Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sexmaddict
interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and starting scraps
on Sauchiehall Street at three in the morning. Box 73/82.
Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian lately rejected by longtime fiancée
seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if such a thing still exists
in this cruel world of hatchet-faced bitches. Box 53/41
Ginger-haired Partick troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and shirty after
a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes,
maybe more. Box 84/87
Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on the
beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and interesting brown rice
dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for companionship, back rubs and more
as we bounce along like little tumbling clouds on life's beautiful
crazy journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32
Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties will
include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to office social
functions. References required. No time wasters. Box 23/45
Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old b*st*rd living in a damp cottage in
the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year old blonde lady with
big chest. Box 40/27
Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady for wining
and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic walks and
slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under the flinty light
of a pale moon. Box 52/07
Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler
competition at Framptons Nightclub, Maryhill, in September 1978,
seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to cry, for long nights spent
comfort-drinking and listening to old Abba records. Please, Please!
Box 30/41
Govan man, 27, medium build, square heid, big moustache and curly
hair, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8pm and
11.30pm
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy goes to a whorehouse and says, "I want to get screwed." The
Madam tells him to go up to room 12 and knock on the door. The guy
walks up to the door, knocks on it, and says, "I want to get
screwed." A sexy voice comes back with, "Slide $20 under the door."
The man slides the $20 under the door and waits. Nothing Happens. He
knocks on the door again, "I want to get screwed!" he says. The sexy
voice behind the door says, "Again?"
A deaf mute woman will masturbate with one hand so she can moan with
the other.
The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been
informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my company." "That
sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be counseling the big
bosses on relations with their secretaries?
answered. "During a staff meeting, I popped up to suggest a
reduction in executive expense accounts and it was after that I was
told if they ever wanted my fuckin' advice, they'd let me know."
The sheriff of the small Kansas town pulled over a Porsche that was
doing 75 miles per hour in a 35-mile an hour zone. The man behind
the wheel, a Chicago commodities trader, was steaming. When he was
finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, "I can't
believe you stopped me. This town must be the asshole of the world!"
The magistrate looked at him and replied, "And you must be what's
passing through."
If a ram is a ram and an ass is an ass, how come a ram in the ass is
a goose?
A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm
constipated.
"Lean over the table." The construction worker leans over the table,
the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends
him into the bathroom. He comes out a few minutes later and says,
"Doc, I feel great. What should I do?" The doctor says, "Stop wiping
with cement bags."
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Holiday Season be a hit and steal the show with the Amazing
Flying Monkey!
Kids will be putting their expensive toys aside just to play with
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Math Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Country bumpkins Dad and Dave went to the Royal Easter Show
in Sydney and
were very interested in the new tractors and power take-offs
that were on display. One salesman demonstrated his machine
and then offered them a deal.
'You can have this attachment for $10 000, and I'll take off
10 per cent for
cash just for you.' They went away to discuss the deal.
'What the hell's he mean by take orf 10 per cent cash?' asked
Dad. 'How much would he take orf?'
'Gees, I dunno, Dad,' replied Dave.
'Listen Dave, you're in pretty thick with that barmaid at the
pub where we're stayin' and she looks like a pretty smart sort
of girl. How about you ask her?'
So Dave approached the barmaid. 'Tell me, Dulcie, love, if 1
gave you $10,000 less 10 per cent, how much would you take orf?'
'Jesus, Dave!' she exclaimed, grinning wickedly at him. 'If you
gave me $10,000 less 10 per cent, I'd take off everything bar me
bloody garters and you
could use them for stirrups to ride me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parsley Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
PARSLEY SUPERSTITIONS
According to an oldwives' tale only the wicked can grow it.
It is very unlucky to give parsley.
Parsley plants must not be given.
Parsley should not be transplanted; it means a death in the family
or
bad luck.
If a stranger plants parsley in a garden, great trouble will befall
the owner.
Where parsley grows in the garden, the missus is the master.
Where the mistress is the master, the parsley grows the faster.
Parsley flourishes best either when sown by the housewife rather
than
by her husband, or in gardens of homes where she is master.
If a young woman sows parsley seed she will have a child.
Parsley is believed to prevent a pregnancy, and is sometimes eaten
as
a salad by young married women who do not desire to have a family.
If you want to bring on your period put a sprig of parsley inside
your vagina for 12 hours...your period should start 24 hours later.
In the 1600's and 1700's in England, children were told that little
girls came from the parsley bed.
buffalo says After being used as a vaginal garnish no
wonder people don't eat the stuff
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Spider Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This big dude walks into a bar with a little spider on his shoulder,
as
soon as one of the dudes in there spots it, he tells his friends and
they all laugh.the man says:
"Laugh while you can, 'cos this spider is stronger than any of
you!!!"
The man making fun replies "I'd like to see that!!"
"Fine, my spider will pick up this bar stool" he sets the spider on
the
floor and the spider easily picks it up.
"That's nothing!!"
"But there's more, now the spider sill pick up a table" and the
spider
easily picks up the table.
The men, not letting the spider impress them, only boo it "Now,
gentlemen, this tiny spider will pick up the bar!!" and the spider
spits
on his hands, rubs them together and makes a great effort, but it
picks
up the bar!!!
The men, a little impressed ask "what else can it do??" so the man
says
"Now, it will pick up the bar with everyone of us on it!!" thinking
it
couldn't be done, the men start to get on the bar until there's like
40
guys on it.
The spider looks worried but starts walking towards the bar with an
air
of determination. suddenly, a man walks into the bar sees the spider
on
the floor walking towards the bar, and steps on it "You bunch of
wussies, scared of a little spider!!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
3am why is my baby still Crying?
The Baby Language System makes all the difference between you and
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Amazing DVD learning System, is the key to better bonding with your
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Scent of Roses
http://silverandgol
Marlene / Did You Think To Pray / New Page
http://summerhoosie
A Nam Vet Via Carol
http://www.gospelma
carolyn w/ I Believe In The Man In The Sky ~ Elvis
http://carolynsprec
Carol w/No Knight in Her Days
http://www.carolspo
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
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And here's everything they don't want you to know...
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Surfin Surfari
Making Snow
http://www.snowatho
Shopping Notes
http://www.shopping
RateADrug Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
Smart Grid Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, I wanted to let you know that I'm giving the whole damn thing
away today, and this is REALLY the LAST day that I'll be doing this!
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away today for the last
time....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Holiday Sigs
http://norbert26.
3D Sally...Christmas
http://script-
WetFloorMaker Via Wesley
http://tinyurl.
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
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Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.nanceest
Kitty Korner
http://community-
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Does your computer seem to be running slower than usual?
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Movie Links
Football
http://www.buffalos
Football Season
http://www.buffalos
Fruit Cake
http://www.buffalos
Fruit Cake Lady
http://www.buffalos
Fruit Cake Lady 2
http://www.buffalos
Shooting Star
http://www.buffalos
Slicing Fruit With Playing Cards
http://www.buffalos
Smooth Roll
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Soccer
http://www.buffalos
Swimming Lessons
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Proposal Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among
three
likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and
watches
to see what they do with the money.
The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon
gets
her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits and dresses
up
very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be
more
attractive for him because she loves him so much.
The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new
set of
golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive
clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has
spent
all the money on him because she loves him so much.
Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several
times
the $5,000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder
in
a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their
future
because she loves him so much.
Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with
the
money he'd given her.
Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
bowling
http://www.buffalos
boxer
http://www.buffalos
boxers
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boy panties
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bra burning
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There once was an old man from Wicket
Who asked a young lady to lick it.
She promptly said no,
And started to go,
But she did tell him where he could stick it.
My trouser-snake stands up and cheers
When confronted with boobs in brassieres;
But, in charming my cobra,
The bust with no bra
Can almost reduce it to tears.
The model climbed up the ladder,
As Titian, the painter, had bade her.
But then her position
Suggested coition,
So he climbed up the ladder and had her.
Karl K
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In 2009, Derek Jeter made baseball history and we're honoring him on
this brilliant, uncirculated, genuine US Half Dollar. Layered in
pure 24K gold, this coin is a great gift for any baseball fan. This
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certificate of authenticity.
Own your piece of baseball history today.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Wolf Man comes home one day from a long day at the office.
"How was work, dear?" his wife asks.
"Listen! I don't want to talk about work!" he shouts.
"Okay. Would you like to sit down and eat a nice home cooked meal?"
she asks nicely.
"Listen!" he shouts again. "I'm not hungry! I don't wanna eat! All
right! Is that all right with you? Can I come home from work and
just
do my own thing without you forcing food own my throat? Huh?"
At this moment, the wolf man started growling, and throwing things
around the apartment in a mad rage. Looking out the window, his wife
sees a full moon and says to herself, "I guess it's that time of the
month."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In 2009, Derek Jeter made baseball history and we're honoring him on
this brilliant, uncirculated, genuine US Half Dollar. Layered in
pure 24K gold, this coin is a great gift for any baseball fan. This
limited edition coin is officially licensed and comes with a
certificate of authenticity.
Own your piece of baseball history today.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman went to her doctor for advice.
She told him that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex,
and she was not sure that it was such a good idea.
'Do you enjoy it? 'The doctor asked.'
Actually, yes, I do.
'Does it hurt you?' he asked.
'No... I rather like it.
'Well, then,' the doctor continued, 'there's no reason that you
shouldn't practice anal sex, if That's what you like, so long as you
take care not to get pregnant.'
The woman was mystified. 'What? You can get pregnant from anal sex?'
'Of course,' the doctor replied. 'Where do you think politicians and
lawyers come from.'
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Additional Ordering Details:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1468
The Advice Kolumn
Diana: Oh look at today's paper, there is an advice column
BJ: Let me read it. Dear Editor, I am a single male, 40 who
wants to find an attractive female to have a relationship with.
What should I do? Signed Desperate in Yonkers.
Dear Bonkers in Yonkers
If you haven't figured it out by now fellow, then you are
out of luck. Go to the local pound and get yourself a nice
dog. Learn to love the dog, take the dog on walks then
perhaps you will meet someone.
Signed Rudy the Editor
BJ: There are more... Dear Editor, I am a female, 24, attractive
and would like to meet a nice guy. However, I consider myself
high maintence. I like new things all the time. What should I do?
Sheri in Shreveport
Dear Shreve,
I can totally understand your problem girl. Why compromise? I
don't. Just hang in there and do what I do. I just do my thing.
If they do not understand me, it is their problem not mine.
Katie Editor
Dear Editor,
I met this lovely gentleman the other day, but the only problem
is he
is twenty years older than I am. What do you say about that? I am
33, he is 53. Help.
Lori in Dodge City
Dear Dodge Ball,
Love is about the age of the hearts not about the age of the
bodies.
I can say in all honesty go for it.
Sandi editor
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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