THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Problems don't go away by themselves,
but opportunities do.
If you wait for problems to just disappear,
they usually get more serious.
And if you dawdle while opportunity is knocking,
it soon will leave and knock on someone else's door.
If something needs doing, get right on it.
Be patient, yes, but do so while taking action.
If you're reluctant to do something
that needs to be done,
consider that it will only get worse,
the longer you wait.
How would you like to have superhuman strength?
Act quickly, and you can solve 10 problems
with the same effort it would take to deal
with just one problem which has been avoided
and grown to serious proportions.
The faster you take action, the more effective you can be.
Certainly you don't want to jump without looking,
but as soon as you've decided
what needs to be done,
get busy doing it.
Time is your most precious resource and
the less time you wait to get started,
the less time you'll spend doing it.
Get on it right now!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
________________
THE COMICS
how hotdogs are made
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y020.html
can we go to the store?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y021.html
men
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y022.html
he's a vampire
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y023.html
her bra snapped
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y024.html
the money I could have been saving
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y025.html
the great thing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y026.html
Mr. Whipple
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y027.html
what I need
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y028.html
all I'm saying
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/y029.html
______________
what your dog does while you're gone
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Steve Irwin vs Osama-wav file
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8276.html
the cheese shop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8278.html
The Gaza strip
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8279.html
last beer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8280.html
the drunk guy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8281.html
Greg Pritchard-Britain's got talent
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8282.html
Mexican Words O f The Day
1. *Cheese*
The teacher told Pepito to use the word cheese in a sentence.
Pepito replies: Maria likes me, but cheese ugly.
2. *Mushroom*
When all my family get in the car
There's not mushroom.
3. *Shoulder*
My fren wants 2 become a citizen,
But che didn't know how to read,
So I, shoulder.
4. * Texas *
When I'm not home,
My fren always Texas me,
Che wonders where I am!
5. *Herpes*
Me and my fren ordered pizza.
I got mine piece
Then che got herpes.
6. *July*
Ju told me ju were going to tha store
But ju went to see sum guy,
July to me! Julyer!
___________
A man goes to consult a specialist about his medical
problem. After the visit the man asks,
"How much do I owe you?"
"My fee is five hundred dollars," replies the
physician.
"Five hundred dollars? That's impossible. No one
charges that much!"
"In your case," the doctor replies, "I suppose I could
adjust my fee to three hundred."
"Three hundred dollars? For one visit? Ridiculous."
"Well, then, could you afford two hundred?"
"Who has that kind of money?"
"Look, replies the doctor," growing irritated,
"Just give me fifty bucks and get out."
"I can give you twenty says the man. Take it or leave it."
"I don't understand you," says the doctor.
"Why did you come to the most expensive doctor
in New York if you have no money?"
"Listen, Doctor", says the patient, "When it comes to
my health, nothing is too expensive."
____________
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you ... to leave."
Q. What do you call a cow who has just given birth?
A. Decaffeinated
Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"
A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only
cling film for shorts. The shrink says, "Well, I
can clearly see you're nuts."
Q: "What does your daddy do?"
A: "Anything my mommy tells him."
______________
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his
engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the
head table, he suddenly realized
that he had forgotten his false teeth.
Turning to the man next to him he said, "I forgot my
teeth!" The man said, "No problem." With that he reached
into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth.
"Try these," he said. The speaker tried them. "Thanks,
but they're too loose," he said. The man then said,
"I have another pair...try these." The speaker tried
them and responded, "Too tight." The man was not taken
back at all. He then said, "I have one more pair...
try them." The speaker said, "They fit perfectly!"
With that he ate his meal and gave his address.
After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went
over to thank the man who had helped him. "I want to
thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your
office? I've been looking for a good dentist."
The man replied, "Oh I'm not a dentist.
I work at the morgue.."
____________
An old man had a dog he just loved but the dog had
the bad habit of attacking anything that moved
including people. His friends told him that if he
had the dog fixed he would lose his aggressions
and quit this behavior. So the old man had his dog
fixed and a few days later was in his front room
when the mailman came up the steps. The dog jumped
up and went right through the screen door and
attacked the mailman. The old man ran out and
pulled his dog off and began apologizing to the mailman.
He said, "I am so sorry, I don't know what to do or
say. My friends told me he would quit attacking people
if I had him fixed. I just don't know what to do."
The mailman picked himself up and said, "You should
have had his teeth pulled, I knew when he came out the
door he wasn't going to screw me."
______________
Pick up lines!!!
1. If you and I were squirrels,could I bust a nut in your hole?
2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.
3. If it's true that we are what we eat,I could be you by morning!
4. How do you like your eggs: poached,scrambled,or fertilized?
5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your
Face.
6. You are so fine that I'd eat your shit just to see where it came from.
Crazy Frog
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000389.html
Crazy Goal
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000390.html
Crazy Landing
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000391.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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