THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
The only fool bigger than the person who knows
it all is the person who argues with him
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, its Friday the thirteenth!
Are you superstitiious?
The actual origin of the superstition, is somewhat
unclear. There are several theories. One traces it
back to be a tale in Norse mythology.
Friday is named for Frigga, the free-spirited goddess
of love and fertility. When Norse and Germanic
tribes converted to Christianity, Frigga was banished
in shame to a mountaintop and labeled a witch. It was
believed that every Friday, the spiteful goddess
convened a meeting with eleven other witches, plus
the devil - a gathering of thirteen - and plotted ill
turns of fate for the coming week. For many centuries
in Scandinavia, Friday was known as "Witches' Sabbath."
Another theory about the origin of the superstition
traces the event to the arrest of the legendary
Knights Templar. According to one expert:
The Knights Templar were a monastic military order
founded in Jerusalem in 1118 C.E., whose mission was to
protect Christian pilgrims during the Crusades. Over
the next two centuries, the Knights Templar became
extraordinarily powerful and wealthy. Threatened by that
power and eager to acquire their wealth, King Philip
secretly ordered the mass arrest of all the Knights
Templar in France on Friday, October 13, 1307 -
Friday the 13th.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
he said the wrong thing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z089.html
his last words
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z080.html
Kanya West at it again
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z081.html
Lego
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z082.html
winter time love
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z083.html
Big bird and the cookie monster
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z084.html
if the tin man lived today...
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z085.html
I'm gonna throw up
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z086.html
at the bar
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z087.html
make me hurl
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/z088.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
this is kinda neat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8351.html
stand by me
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8352.html
picky eater
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8363.html
just havin fun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8364.html
ice climbing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8366.html
running machine
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies8367.html
______________
I'm so broke
I'm so broke, I go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers.
I'm so broke me and my girlfriend got married for the rice.
I'm so broke, if a trip around the world cost a
nickel, I wouldn't have enough to leave the couch!
I'm so broke that I just went into McDonald's
and put a small fry on layaway.
If pickles were 10 cents a truckload I couldn't
buy a wart off a cucumber!
____________
An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and
told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer
about having a will prepared. The receptionist
suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient
time for the spinster to come into the office. The
woman replied, "You must understand, I've lived
alone all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don't
like to go out. Would it be possible for the lawyer to
come to my house?" The receptionist checked with the
attorney who agreed and he went to the spinster's home
for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer's first question was, "Would you please
tell me what you have in assets and how you'd like
them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and accessories
you see here, I have $40,000 in my savings account at
the bank." "Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you
like the $40,000 to be distributed?"
The spinster said, "Well, as I've told you, I've
lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever
noticed me, so I'd like them to notice when I pass on.
I'd like to provide $35,000 for my funeral."
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you will be
able to have a funeral that will certainly be noticed
and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who
may not have taken much note of you! But
tell me," he continued, "what would you like to do with the
remaining $5,000?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I've never married, I've
lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact I've never slept
with a man. Before I die, I'd like you to use the $5,000 to
arrange for a man to sleep with me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer said, adding, "but
I'll see what I can do to arrange it and get back to you."
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling his wife about the
eccentric spinster and her weird request.
After thinking about how much she could do around the house with
$5,000 and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to agree to
provide the service himself. She said, "I'll drive you over
tomorrow morning, and wait in the car until you're finished."
The next morning, she drove him to the spinster's house and
waited while he went into the house. She waited for over an hour,
but her husband didn't come out. So she blew the car horn.
Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window opened, the lawyer stuck his
head out and yelled, "Pick me up tomorrow, she's going to let the
County bury her!"
____________
These great questions and answers are from the days when
"Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not
scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions,
of course....
Q. Paul,
what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard
it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long
enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high
should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or
a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.
_____________
Dobbins lost his eye in an accident and couldn't afford the
Price of a glass eye. So he carved one out of wood. But he
Was so self-conscious that he never left the house.
Finally, his friend Eddy came over and forced him to go out.
"There's a dance over at the club," he said. "So what if one
Of your eyes is made out of wood?"
"All right," said Dobbins, "but if anybody makes fun of my
Eye I'm leaving."
He went to the dance and stood around, trying to build up his
Courage. And then he saw a woman standing alone in the corner.
She was very attractive, but she had a hunchback.
"She's worse off than me," Dobbins thought. "The least I can
Do is ask her to dance.
He walked across the crowded dance floor and approached the
Girl. "Would you care to dance?" he asked.
"Would I?!" she exclaimed.
"That does it," he shouted, "Hunchback! Hunchback!"
____________
Paddy decides to go rabbit hunting , but when he gets
to his favorite field he sees the village butcher
is already there. Paddy watches with fascination as the
butcher holds his finger over a rabbit hole and immediately
a rabbit pops out.The butcher grabs it and puts it into a sack.
He repeats this unusual but very successful technique
until his sack is full of rabbits.
Paddy stops the butcher and asks him how he does it.
"Easy,"says the butcher. "Put your finger on your wife's
pussy and then hold it over a rabbit hole.They can't resist
the smell, so when they come out, grab them."
Paddy rushes home to find Maureen bent over scrubbing the floor.
He lifts up her skirt and applies his finger as directed.
Without looking up, Maureen giggles, "Holy Moses, Rabbit hunting again?"
______________
SIGNS YOU NEED A NEW DOCTOR
- He calls you at two in the morning "just to talk."
- Instead of rubber surgical gloves he wears oven mitts.
- He keeps accidentally referring to himself as "the defendant."
- After examining you, he says, "Now do me."
- He thinks Eastern Medicine was developed in Brooklyn.
- He keeps accidentally referring to your legs as "drumsticks."
- His examination room is Room 201 at the No-Tell Motel.
- He introduces you to his anesthesiologist, "Doctor Jim Beam."
- Before surgery, he asks if you want this "to go."
- He tries to color your X-Rays with crayons.
- After a rectal exam he says, " It was good for me...was it good for you?"
_____________
BUFFALO BILL
I Like Boobs
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dgjgja.htm
Idiot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/fsassd.htm
IKEA Ford
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhdskj.htm
Komiek
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hdjss.htm
____________
FUN PAGES FROM LORRAINE
I Bought You A Redneck Mansion
http://tinyurl.com/q4yjuv
Diary of a Mad Cat
http://tinyurl.com/yzr436d
Driving Skills
http://tinyurl.com/8n49lv
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Delta Lloyd
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000431.html
Demolition Call
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000432.html
Denny Crane For President
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000433.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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