THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
"If you obey all the rules
you miss all the fun."
~Katharine Hepburn
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
If a Conservative doesn't like guns,
he doesn't buy one.
If a Green doesn't like guns,
he wants all guns outlawed.
If a Conservative is a vegetarian,
he doesn't eat meat.
If a Green is a vegetarian, he wants all
meat products banned for everyone.
If a Conservative is homosexual,
he quietly leads his life.
If a Green is homosexual,
he demands legislated respect.
If a Conservative is down-and-out,
he thinks about how to better his situation.
a Green wonders who is going to
take care of him.
If a Conservative doesn't like a talk
show host, he switches channels.
Greens demand that those they
don't like be shut down.
If a Conservative is a non-believer,
he doesn't go to church.
A Green non-believer wants any mention
of God and religion silenced.
If a Conservative decides he needs health care,
he goes about shopping for it,
or may choose a job that provides it.
A Green demands that the rest of us pay for his.
If a Conservative reads this, he'll forward
it so his friends can have a good laugh.
A Green will delete it because he's "offended".
Well, I forwarded it.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
all you need to know
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w036.html
intelligence is sexy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w037.html
a gift
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w038.html
we should get together
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w039.html
would you mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w040.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
feel the punch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/469.html
we the people
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/470.html
egg nog challenge
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/471.html
An elderly woman decided to have her portrait
painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with
diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald
bracelets, a ruby broach, and a gold Rolex."
"But you are not wearing any of those things,"
replied the artist.
"I know," she said. "It's in case I should die
before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right
away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking
for the jewelry."
_______________
A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his
arm. The dog is wearing a Detroit Lions jersey and
helmet, and is festooned with Lion pom-poms. The
bartender says, "Hey! No pets are allowed! You'll
have to leave." The guy begs him, "Look, I'm desperate!
We're both big fans, the TV's broken at home,
and this is the only place around where we
can see the game."After securing a promise that the
dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog
will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the
bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar
and watch the game. The big game begins with the Lion's
receiving the kickoff. They march down field, get stopped
at the 30, and kick a field goal. Suddenly, the dog
jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and
down the bar giving high-fives to everyone.
The bartender says, "Wow, that's the most amazing
thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if they score
a touchdown?" The owner replies,
"I don't know, I've only had him for three years."
_______________
Frank came into his wife's room one day. "If I were, say,
disfigured, would you still love me?" he asked her.
"Darling, I'll always love you," she said calmly, filing her nails.
"How about if I became crippled and couldn't fulfill my
marital obligations to you any more?" he asked nervously.
"Don't worry, darling, I'll always love you," she told him,
buffing her nails."Well, how about if I lost my job as vice
president?" Frank went on, "if I weren't pulling in
six figures any more. Would you still love me then?"
The woman looked over at her husband's worried face.
"Frank, I'll always love you," she reassured him,
"but most of all, I'll really miss you."
_______________
BUFFALO BILL
Sure Lock
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81826.htm
Swan Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81827.htm
Talent
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81828.htm
_______________
FUN PAGES
Potato Carrot
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42222&s=n
Agatha Christie: Death on the Nile
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41663&s=n
Must Wash Hands
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41409&s=n
Word Zen
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41813&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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