Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
For Immediate Release
November 05, 2010
Presidential Proclamation -- Veterans Day
-------
BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
A PROCLAMATION
On Veterans Day, we come together to pay tribute to the men and women who
have worn the uniform of the United States Armed Forces. Americans across
this land commemorate the patriots who have risked their lives to preserve
the liberty of our Nation, the families who support them, and the heroes no
longer with us. It is not our weapons or our technology that make us the
most advanced military in the world; it is the unparalleled spirit, skill,
and devotion of our troops. As we honor our veterans with ceremonies on this
day, let our actions strengthen the bond between a Nation and her warriors.
In an unbroken line of valor stretching across more than two centuries, our
veterans have charged into harm's way, sometimes making the ultimate
sacrifice, to protect the freedoms that have blessed America. Whether Active
Duty, Reserve, or National Guard, they are our Nation's finest citizens, and
they have shown the heights to which Americans can rise when asked and
inspired to do so. Our courageous troops in Iraq, Afghanistan, and around
the globe have earned their place alongside previous generations of great
Americans, serving selflessly, tour after tour, in conflicts spanning nearly
a decade.
Long after leaving the uniform behind, many veterans continue to serve our
country as public servants and mentors, parents and community leaders. They
have added proud chapters to the story of America, not only on the
battlefield, but also in communities from coast to coast. They have built
and shaped our Nation, and it is our solemn promise to support our Soldiers,
Sailors, Airmen, Marines, and Coast Guardsmen as they return to their homes
and families.
America's sons and daughters have not watched over her shores or her
citizens for public recognition, fanfare, or parades. They have preserved
our way of life with unwavering patriotism and quiet courage, and ours is a
debt of honor to care for them and their families. These obligations do not
end after their time of service, and we must fulfill our sacred trust to
care for our veterans after they retire their uniforms.
As a grateful Nation, we are humbled by the sacrifices rendered by our
service members and their families out of the deepest sense of service and
love of country. On Veterans Day,let us remember our solemn obligations to
our veterans, and recommit to upholding the enduring principles that our
country lives for, and that our fellow citizens have fought and died for.
With respect for and in recognition of the contributions our service men and
women have made to the cause of peace and freedom around the world, the
Congress has provided (5 U.S.C. 6103(a)) that November 11 of each year shall
be set aside as a legal public holiday to honor our Nation's veterans.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America,
do hereby proclaim November 11, 2010, as Veterans Day. I encourage all
Americans to recognize the valor and sacrifice of our veterans through
appropriate public ceremonies and private prayers. I call upon Federal,
State, and local officials to display the flag of the United States and to
participate in patriotic activities in their communities. I call on all
Americans, including civic and fraternal organizations, places of worship,
schools, and communities to support this day with commemorative expressions
and programs.
IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this fifth day of November,
in the year of our Lord two thousand ten, and of the Independence of the
United States of America the two hundred and thirty-fifth.
BARACK OBAMA
buffalo says Many of the countries that were our allies in WWI
will also be celebrating Remembrance Day or Armistice Day
today. These other countries shipped their men to the battlefields
of Europe where they died in the trenches fighting for freedom.
Hundreds of thousands more lived but suffered for years because
of their wounds and the ravages of chemical warfare. Able to
see the price that their fathers and grandfathers had paid for freedom
they still volunteered readily every time their country and the world
called, It is good to add those Veteran's to the holiday so that
someone may forever tell the stories of the fight for freedom.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
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Little Johnny Chips
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The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their
parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next
day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying
hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the
front seat; which bounced off the pickup when we hit a bump in the
road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess" "And
what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all
your eggs in one basket!" "Very good," said the teacher. "Now,
Lucy?" "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chickens for the
meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we
only got ten live chicks. And the moral to this story is, don't
count your chickens until they're hatched" "That was a fine story
Lucy. Johnny do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy
told me this story about my Uncle Bob. Uncle Bob was a pilot in
Vietnam and his plane got hit. He had to bail out over enemy
territory and all he had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and
a machete. He drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break
and then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. He
killed seventy of them with the machine gun until he ran out of
bullets, then he killed twenty more with the machete till the blade
broke and then he killed the last ten with his bare hands." "Good
heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your
daddy tell you from that horrible story?" "Don't FUCK with Uncle Bob
when he's been drinking!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Spider Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TALES OF A GIRL SCOUT LEADER
I worked at a Girl Scout camp in rural Wisconsin for one pretty
miserable summer. We stayed up until 2 am trying to get things
cleaned up and ready for the next day, and woke up at 5:30am for
more of the same.
One day the horses had gotten out of the pasture. We spent until 4am
rounding them up. Just as my tired head hit the pillow in my army
surplus platform tent, I heard a tiny crystal clear voice: "Wake up!
There's a spider in my tent!"
Masking my exasperation, I mumbled, "Is it a daddy longlegs, honey?"
"Noooo...", she said in a hushed and reverant tone. So, I got my
spider hunting kit- a plastic watercup and a clipboard, and followed
her to her tent.
For you see, I tried very hard to instill a love of even the most
unfriendly looking natural beings in my campers. We were living in
their backyards, and so should not fear the spiders, or the
centipedes, or the bats, but love them and appreciate their place in
the great mandala of life. You know, the whole Lion King deal. My
standard operating proceedure for spiders was to name them, catch
them under the cup, and release them to their spidery duties of
catching mosquitos.
At any rate, my love for the natural world was waning as I followed
this little Botticelli angel of a child through the waxing dawn. Her
tent mates were crouched fearfully outside the tent as I strode
confidently, bravely, tiredly up the creaky wooden steps. When the
first few beams of my flashlight revealed nothing, I went back out
side and told them, "The spider went home guys, he's not there
anymore. You should all go to sleep now."
"I don't think he'd just leave," quavered out the cherub. "So show
me where he is," I said, not just a little frustrated. "I can't find
him anywhere!" She took my flashlight and immediately spotted the
biggest, hairiest, grossest wolf spider I'd ever seen. It was the
size of my fist- easily outstripping the spider catching cups
capabilities.
Taking a quick breath for courage, buying time, trying to remember
my love for nature and everything living, I turned to the mite and
asked, "So... What's his name?"
She put her chubby hands to her little hips and looked me square in
the eye.... "That there is Franco the Fucking Big Spider and I want
him the HELL out of my tent!"
What could I do? I poked the wall of the tent until Franco got
tired, flipped me the bird, and left.
I had 4 little girls on the floor of my tent for a week.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Gambling Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The compulsive gambler walked into a gay bar, ordered a drink and struck up
a conversation with a fellow at the bar. When his companion went to take a
leak, the gambler turned to the guy n the other side of him and said boldly,
"I bet you $200 you've got terrible hemorrhoids."
Knowing this wasn't the case, the man readily agreed to the bet, stood up
and pulled down his pants. The gambler looked and looked, didn't find a
single hemorrhoid. He promptly handed over the $200 and headed for the
men's room. The winner sat back down on his bar stool and delightfully
recounted the story to his friend on his return.
To his surprise, his friend pales.
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he'd have you drop your pants in the middle of the bar...!"
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Cut-off Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who
I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have thought I
was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me
because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to
play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with exc ited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why
can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The health inspector was aghast to see the pastry cook crimping the
edge of the apple pie with a set of false teeth.. "Haven't you got a
tool for that?" "Yes, but I save that for putting holes in the
donuts." he replied.
I was meeting a friend in a bar, and as I went in, I noticed two
pretty girls looking at me. "Nine," I heard one whisper as I
passed. Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy
and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten. "I don't
want to ruin it for you," he said, "but when I walked in, they were
speaking German."
Sean Connery has agreed to do one more James Bond movie.
The villain is a doctor who is a proctologist.
The movie title will be "Dr. Coldfinger."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/GI Joe and Lillie
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John w/ Veterans Day Tribute
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God Bless America Again.
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Veteran's Day Via Carol
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HONORING ALL WHO SERVE
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Brother Bob's Poems Of The Week
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Flashlights
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Ponies
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny had a first date lined up with a woman he had been after for
quite a while. When she finally consented to go out with him, he wanted to
plan the most romantic evening he could.
?
He picked her up at her apartment, and then drove out to the beach.
Little Johnny had prepared very carefully for this date and brought out a
blanket for them to sit upon the sand and a bottle of the finest wine.
The moonlight was shining down on them and Little Johnny poured his date
some wine. He handed her the glass, looked lovingly in to her eyes and said,
"Now this is what I call romantic. The waves crashing on the shore, the
moonlight in your eyes, a warm tropical breeze, a bottle of wine.....,"
he takes a sip of wine and says, "Oh and by the way...do you Spit or
Swallow?
?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
booty queen
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is the tale of Freddy Law
whose sexual equipment got jammed in the door.
By the time they freed him, he didn't feel well
for his private parts were mangled to hell.
They rushed him to hospital, the ambulance flew,
but when they arrived, there's nought they could do.
What a bad blow for Fred, condemned without choice,
to live with no sex and a high squeaking voice.
But lucky for Fred, so he wouldn't feel a fool,
some bright spark suggested a "Bionic Tool".
A smart new electric one, made out of brass,
though the batteries would have to be kept up his arse.
Now newly equipped and after a rest,
Fred thought he would put the tool to the test.
So finding a woman, the nearest one handy,
supplied her with drink and made her feel randy
She, without waiting, put her hand in Fred's flies,
as she felt what was there, gave a cry of surprise.
"That's my Bionic Chopper. Now lets have some fun".
"Cor blimey" she said, "It felt like a gun."
They both stripped quick and Fred entered her fast,
he turned up the control knob and gave her full blast.
They clung to each other as Fred's dick shook some more,
then they bounced off the bed and onto the floor.
Now the pace hotted up and they started to choke,
as the room became filled with blue dirty smoke.
With a bang Fred's left bullock shot up in the air,
and his other one went bonkety-bonk down the stair.
So back for repair went Fred full of woe,
Was this how his sex life was destined to go ?
To return to his doctor at the end of each shag
with his tool in his pocket and his balls in a bag ?
But they fixed up young Fred, made him manly again,
for they boosted his batteries with a flex from the main.
So if he cant get a girl, now poor Fred doesn't cry,
he just flicks on the switch and jerks himself dry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An older couple were lying in bed one night.
The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and
wanted to talk.
She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back
to sleep.
A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me."!
Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and
settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he
threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"To get my teeth!"
Randy
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1918 Playoff Games, To Go or Not to Go That is
the Question Rudy: I want to go to the playoff game.
Diana: It is almost up to Nebraska. That is too far away.
BJ: I agree. We went to the first playoff game.
Sandi: That game hardly was started when it was over.
64-0 in the second quarter when they called the game.
Katie: Yes, I thought they should play the whole game!
Val: It would have been too ugly. The score could have been 140 - 0.
BJ: The second playoff game lasted longer at least to the 3rd quarter.
Sandi: Yeah, but it was 71 - 22. Good grief, we have a great team.
Diana: Don't forget our Guthrie team is doing well also, they won
69-0.
Rudy: That is three shutouts in a row for Guthrie, right?
BJ: Yep. Both Bluejay teams are going to be a threat in the state
championships. The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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