Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I went out to get blood work done at the hospital and parked at the opposite
side of the block and walked over for the exercise. Somewhere over there
I tweaked my back again. Not enough to stop you from doing what you are
doing at the time but enough I wanted to get home and get to bed as soon
as I got a few things knocked out on the computer. Eva was concerned and
I saw her dragging things into my bedroom. When I finally headed in there
she had straightened my bed out and thrown a couple of soft blankets and
a couple of my stuffed buffaloes that she had commandeered about the time
she started walking. I went in and fell into bed and slept for four hours. I
was
a little stiff when I got up but I seemed to have dodged the major pain.
I did go to see the doctor today and now I have to run over and get x-rays
done on my knee to see what was going on with it last month. The doctor
told me as rough as I have been on my body, I'm lucky I only have a couple
of things aching at a time. heh heh not much sympathy there but he is
totally
right, I have caused most of my problems.
Still no snow but that may change by morning as it is getting cold enough.
They are expecting a white Thanksgiving, but it can snow all it wants to
as long as there is power for the football games, the turkey is in the
freezer
and we can hide out for three or four days in a blizzard with one of those.
I don't anticipate a blizzard but you never can tell.
Enjoy the chips..... buffalo
A newsletter you may enjoy
"MUSICAL MAGIC"
is all about sharing Music of all Genre!!!
Everyone is welcome to post their favorite Singer, Song, Midi, Music Clip.
This is a SHARING GROUP Share YOUR MUSIC and you can share other members
music.
ALSO request Music NON SHARERS WILL BE REMOVED.
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Coyote Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New York
The Governor Elect of New York is jogging
with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor,
and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi",
then realizes he should stop, the coyote is only doing what's natural.
2. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills
the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog and bills the
state $200 for testing it for disease.
4. The Governor goes to a hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for
disease from the coyote and for getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months, while Fish & Game conducts
their $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor next spends $150,000 in state funds, implementing a "Coyote
Awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat
rabies and how
to permanently eradicate the disease, throughout the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not somehow stopping the
attack and for letting the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of New York: $75,000 to hire and train a new
security agent with additional special training re: The Nature of Coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the state.
Arizona
The Governor of Arizona is jogging, with her dog, along a nature trail.
A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps
jogging.
The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow-point cartridge.
2. Arizona buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why New York is broke!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Johnny Carson Lie Detector Politician
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/427.html
The Commandant and the Sergeant Major of the Marine speak
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/428.html
Sister Strikes Again!: Late Nite Catechism 2
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prison Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Interested in serving HARD time?
Damn, you are sexy in stripes.
Is that a zip-gun carefully carved out of a piece of discarded metal found
on the floor of the prison license-plat manufacturing shop in your pocket,
or are you just glad to see me?
Don't you prefer dropping bar soap instead of that liquid crap?
You know, normally I don't give in in the first 30 seconds, but I guess I'm
just a sucker for sheer muscle mass.
Nice teeth. They'd look so much better on the floor of my cell.
Due to a recent execution, I now have an opening for my prison bitch.
Who wants to marry a multiple murderer?
I've been watching you from across the yard for awhile now, and I knew if I
didn't work up the courage to just walk over here and ask you to be my
bitch, I might regret it for the rest of my life sentence.
Bread, water or me?
Hold still while I staple this centerfold to the back of your head.
Stop by my cell later for a Lethal Injection.
That orange jumpsuit really brings out the red in your freshly healed knife
wound.
Care to give Prisoner Johnson a weekend furlough?
Cinemax3 is doing another one of those Women In Prison movies soon...Wanna
audition in my cell?
You're new here... let me debrief you and introduce you to the penal
system.
Wanna attend a chain gang bang?
You look even better in person than you did on America's Most Wanted.
If looks could kill, you'd get 25 to life.
You're getting your GED... wow, that makes me so H.O.T.!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Transplant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the
surgery the doctors needed to store his blood type in
case the need arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type
of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went
out to a number of countries. Finally, a Jew was located
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his blood to the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent
the Jew a thank-you card for giving his blood along with
an expensive diamond and a new Rolls Royce car as a token
of his appreciation. Unfortunately, the Arab had to go
through a corrective surgery once again. His doctors
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again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a
Thank You card and a box of Almond Roca sweets.
The Jew was shocked to see that the Arab this time did
not acknowledge the Jew's kind gesture in the same way as
he had done the first time. So he phoned the Arab and asked
him why he had expressed his appreciation in not a very
generous manner.The Arab replied :
"Ya habibi !!,I have Jewish blood now, remember..!?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Cyber Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had run across the term cyber sex a few times lately, so I decided to try
to figure out what it meant. I figured it had something to do with the
computer, so I started trying to find the sex drive on mine. I looked
everywhere, in all the folders on the My Computer section, the add/uninstall
software, install hardware part of the control panel then I got out all the
manuals and went through them.
I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one.
So I decided to go to the computer store and see if I could buy one. I
wanted to look intelligent and scholarly, so I wore my math hat. Well, the
salesperson in the first store was a rather stern looking woman. I gave her
the make and model of my computer and asked her if she had any sex drives in
stock. She kinda scowled at me and asked me if I was trying to get smart
with her, figuring she had been impressed with my math hat, I replied that I
tried to be smart with everyone. She said, rather rudely I thought, that
she couldn't help me and walked away. HUH, must not have had any in stock.
In the second store, I gave the salesperson the make and model of my
computer and asked if they had any sex drives in stock.
He kind of snickered and asked if I meant a hard drive. I thought about it
for a minute and told him yeah, maybe that, but I think I should already
have one installed. He started laughing at me said something about me
trying to kill him. "You're killing me!"
Something like that and walked away. Hmmmm, must be out here too.
Must be hard to keep in stock I wasn't trying to kill him I wasn't even
hurting him. The guy in the third store laughed and asked me if I'd just
fallen off the turnip truck. I assured him I'd never been on a turnip
truck, but I'd fallen off the manure wagon a few times.
He mumbled something about that explaining it. "She's fallen off the wagon,
that explains it," like that and walked away laughing. The guy in the
fourth store said something like, "boob" under his breath and walked away.
Wonder why he only noticed one? Anyway I figured they must not carry them
in stores maybe have to order from a catalog or something. So that's where
I am now. If any of you have some computer skills and could help me locate
my sex drive, I would appreciate it then all I'd have to do is figure out
what to do with it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The company I work for offers tours through the historic district of
Annapolis, MD, led by guides dressed in Colonial clothing. While leading a
group, one of our guides, Dave, tripped and fell, breaking his wrist.
He went to the hospital, and as he sat in the emergency room, a policeman
walked by. Doing a double-take at Dave in his
18th-century garb, he asked, "Just how long have you been waiting?"
--------------------------------------
Two friends and I ordered sandwiches in a local joint. I wanted hot sauce,
Jim wanted medium and Bob, mild. When I asked for all three, the ornery
waitress pointed to the squeeze bottle sitting in the middle of the table.
"We need three," I insisted. "Which one is this?"
"All of them," she replied. "You want hot, put more on."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/If That Isn't Love
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The Why Files
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Tonebee
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Rules of Thumb
http://www.rulesofthumb.org/
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
PHP Functions
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File Encryption
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File Eraser
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Doggie Zone
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Movie Links
Wild Crashes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7821.htm
Wireless Headset
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7822.htm
Women Fights Robber
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7823.htm
Women President
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7824.htm
Women Hitchhikers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7825.htm
Workers Bra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7826.htm
Worse Than Locking Keys In Car
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72206.htm
Worst Seats
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72207.htm
WoW
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72208.htm
Wrong Ball
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72209.htm
Wrong Gift
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72210.htm
Hama Rat
http://www.buffaloschips.com/72211.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Farm Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A ventriloquist is walking in the country, when he
comes upon a farmer and his dog standing at the
side of the road. He stops and they exchange greetings.
The ventriloquist is bored from walking alone for so
long, so he decides to have a little fun with the farmer.
"Would you mind if I spoke with your dog?" he asks the farmer.
"Are you stupid or somethin'?" the farmer says
incredulously, "Dogs can't talk!"
"Well, I'll give it a shot anyway," the ventriloquist replies.
He bends down by the dog and says, "How ya doin' there,
dog?" He then does the voice of the dog without moving
his lips and says "Oh, I'm doin' fine."
The farmer is flabbergasted. The ventriloquist proceeds
to have a pretend conversation with the dog, asking him
how the farmer treats him, where they go for walks, etc.
When he's finished, they walk up the path to the farm
and go to the stables.
"Mind if I talk to your horse?" the ventriloquist asks.
"You can talk to horses, too? Well, shoot, I guess I
don't mind..." answers the farmer.
Again, the ventriloquist has a conversation with the
animal, asking him how often the farmer takes him out
riding, how often he is fed, etc. Then they walk out of
the stable towards the fields. The ventriloquist spies
a herd of sheep in the pasture.
"Mind if I talk to your sheep?" he asks.
The farmer turns bright red and stammers, "Them sheep
ain't nothing but liars, every single one of 'em!!!"
Carol
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are Fucked
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230503.htm
Hung
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230504.htm
Chess
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230509.htm
Can You Hear Me Now?
http://www.buffaloschips.com/2230511.htm
Complaints
http://www.buffaloschips.com/Complaints.htm
All 4 One
http://www.buffaloschips.com/02230515.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow named Pell
Who didn't like cunt very well.
He would finger and fuck one,
But never would suck one---
He just couldn't get used to the smell.
I'm not irredeemably vile
So I've given up sex for a while
(Though I have to admit
I've a penchant for tit,
Nipples, pussies and ladies with style.)
That guy from Wisconsin right there
Wrote this ode to his state in despair
"I left you in bliss
But, Boy do I miss
The sweet smell of your dairy air"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GENERAL PUBLIC NOTICE: "Please be advised I am sick to death of
receiving questions about my dog who mauled 3 Muslims sitting on a rug next
to my back wall, 6 illegals
wearing Obama t-shirts, 4 Democrats wearing Pelosi t-shirts, 2 rappers, 5
phone operators who asked me to press #1 for English, 9 teenagers with their
pants hanging down past their cracks, 8 customer service desk people
speaking in broken English, 10 flag burners, and a Pakistani taxi driver.
FOR THE LAST TIME....... THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !!!"
Michelle
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1469
The Business Section
Diana: They have a business section in the paper today.
BJ: What does it say?
Diana: Dog biscuits are down 20%, Cat Liter is up 12%, trading
is heavy on the Pig Ears market.
BJ: Odd.
Diana: It says that KSR Enterprises stocks may split at years end
and
that earnings are up 27%.
BJ: Anything else?
Diana: Oh they have some photos of the corporate heads of KSR,
Katie, Sandi, Rudy, Gus, Horace, Cleo, Mark and Pearl.
BJ: Amazing group, dogs, cats, guinea hen and a wild turkey.
Diana: Oh and it says that Sandi will continue to dig in the back
yard
looking for oil.
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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