Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Yesterday morning I was reading mail and Eva was sitting in her
high chair next to me eating a bowl of ice cream while Sandy
was fixing brunch of BLT's and bacon and egg for Eva. Eva was
watching Nick Jr. while I was waiting for MSU to play Minnesota.
Sandy brought the food in and as I was eating I stopped and looked
at Eva. She had removed he shirt and was smearing ice cream all
over herself. It reminded me of the old Westerns where the Indians
are applying war paint before a raid. Eva then complained she wanted
a bath so Buffy came out and filled the tub and threw her in. Later
Eva opened a new package of toilet paper and unrolled it onto the
kitchen table, I guess to see how much was on a roll.
Frankly it is not the waste or the lack of respect for the rules of the
house that bothers me as much as the fact that I can't pull that anymore.
So with that in mind,
I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8
year-old.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star
restaurant. I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make
a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my
friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew
were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that
didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and
you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were
blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or
upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible. I want to be oblivious
to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little
things again.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of
computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to
survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank,
doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth,
justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels
in the snow.
So... here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and
my 401K statements. I am officially resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this further, you'll have to catch me
first, cause....... Tag You're it."
OK so much for wishes, time to get back to work.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
Hi come and have some fun with us!!
We share hunks, babes, adult cartoons
Also have question of the day
You must share in the group as you are
the life Line of the group
See ya in the Junglehouse!!
Please read before you join the group
We are a adult group that likes to have fun
Yes we even talk in the group
Please no no lurking in the group
We will share adult cartoons jokes tags hunks and babes
Please come and join us!!!!!!!!! NO POLITICS
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A Teabagger Explains....
I totally DIDN'T vote Republican just because of flashy,
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- I voted Republican because trees make me angrier than cars.
- I voted Republican because I think millionaires work harder
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- I voted Republican because my sneaky teenage daughter went
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Security. Duh!
- I voted Republican because the boy I had a crush on in High
School turned out to be gay and broke my heart, so I swore
vengeance on his kind.
- I voted Republican because I dabbled in witchcraft in my
younger years too.... but I'm totally better now!
- I voted Republican because I know poor people only pretend
to get sick.
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Short Chips
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I've just come out of the shop with a meat and potato pie, large chips,
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Top tip; if you're camping in the summer and the attractive girl in the next
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I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today.. Apparently the
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A fat girl served me food in McDonald's at lunch time; she said 'sorry about
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Snow in the forecast! The TV weather gal said she was expecting 8 inches
tonight, I thought to myself "fat chance" with a face like that!
I have a new pick up line that works every time. It doesn't matter how
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always end up in bed with them. Here's how it goes 'Excuse me love, could I
ask your opinion? Does this damp cloth smell like chloroform to you?'
Years ago it was suggested that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But
since all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works
best!
Randy
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Obama Chips
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Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were sitting at the bar, drinking
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After a moment Obama regains enough of his senses to say "What the
hell did you do that for?"
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Obama responds "That was for lying to the Grand Jury, obstructing
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Clinton answers "I didn't do any of that, it was my husband Bill
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Barack responds "Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton - same damn thing."
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Bra Chips
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Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
1. The things housed by a bra give out a single type of output, the
things housed by panties give two different types of outputs
2. In the product evolution history, the bra was initially formed by
a single piece of fabric (a kerchief, actually. In India - a
kanchuki), while panties were initially formed by two different
pieces of fabric joined by a string.
3. the two breasts are basically the same stuff - simply mirror
images. The nether regions housed by panties are of course not
mirror images or something - they are different organs.
4. a bra can be rightfully worn by ONE single gender - the ladies. A
panty can be worn by BOTH genders (re: David Beckham and other such
kinky characters)
5. Panties is plural simply because it is a short-form of
pantaloons/pants - perhaps early panties were truncated
pants/pantaloons?
Now, here's a very possible explanation - hear me out :)
The word brassiere is connected with "woman's underbodice," from Fr.
brassière "child's blouse or shoulder strap" (17c.), from old French
braciere: arm guard - from bras "an arm," from Latin brachium.
So, the origin is really the arm guard, as something to brace one's
shoulders - a military origin of the word. Now, the arm guard was
worn by male soldiers as well as the female soldiers, correct? For
the male soldiers, the arm guard was on only one side anyways -
hence the singular form of the brassiere is valid here.
Now comes the interesting part - the female soldiers, and their
arm-guards/braces/brassiere
Which is the most popular historical genre of female soldiers? The
amazons, of course. What is the legend of the amazons? That they
were fierce soldiers and, interestingly, had a practice of cutting
off one of their breasts, so that they could draw the bow-string
fully without being hampered by their breast. Obviously, their
breast guard/brace/shoulder strap would be singular, since they had
to brace only one breast. (did you know that the word amazon
etymologically means "having only one breast" (a- "without" + mazos
"breasts)? ).
Ergo - the brassiere is singular, and panties are plural
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The shy young man and his shapely date were parked under a romantic
moon. Placing his hand on her thigh, he whispered, "I love you."
With a deep sigh, the girl replied, "A little higher." "I love you,"
came the higher-pitched reply.
What is the difference between frustration and panic? Frustration is
the first time you discover you can't do it the second time. Panic
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Joan had invited her younger sister, Nancy, to leave her country
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Two girls are sitting in a movie-theater.
"That man beside me is fumbling his crotch", one whispers
to the other. "Just ignore it", is the answer.
"Easy for you to say. He's using my hand!".
What did Spock find in the Enterprises' toilet?
The Captain's log.
One Greek says to another, "Do you think you'll ever go
back to Greece?"
"No," he answered, "I'll stick with K-Y
Jelly!"
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Kiss Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's Owen's first day in the car pool.
They honk the horn in front of his house and he comes running out.
He gets about halfway down the walk when he hears a grunt and the
sound of his wife's foot tapping on the porch.
He turns around and there she is, scowling at him.
He runs back to the steps, spreads her bathrobe, bends over, kisses
her on the pussy, runs back down the walk and hops in the car.
They ride in silence for a few minutes, until Ronny, the driver,
can't stand it.
Ronny asks, "Owen, it's none of my business, but why'd you kiss her
pussy?"
Owen says, "Because you wouldn't believe how bad her fuckin breath
is in the morning!"
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Toon Chips
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To temptation I'm quick to submit
I regret many sins, I admit
Yet this is no boast:
I regret the most
Those sins that I failed to commit!
Two fairies were flitting one day
In the meadow where they liked to play
When the male made a pass
At the other (a lass),
Showing not quite all fairies are gay.
There was a young whore from Kilkenny,
Who charged two fucks for a penny,
For half of that sum,
You could bugger her bum,
An economy practised by many -- Susan
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
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A father said, "Son, the object of dating is to
SCORE! And to do that, you have to give the
woman something. So when you pick up your
date later, make sure you have some flowers
or chocolates to give her. Girls go crazy over
that stuff. The more you give, the more you get!"
So, he showed up with flowers AND chocolates.
She was very flattered and pleased, and she
rewarded him with a long, passionate kiss.
She pressed her chest against him and rubbed
her fingers through his hair,.... hoping to give
him the best kiss that he had ever received.
After the kiss, he turned and bolted for the door.
"Oh! I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to scare
you away."
"You didn't!" he replied. "But if that's what I get for
flowers and chocolate, I'm going out to get you
some jewelry!"
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1915
Katie, The Unpredictable
BJ is watching TV, Sandi and Katie are curled up on the couch when Katie
raises her head and looks at BJ and at Sandi then she leaves the couch,
heads downstairs and returns with a doggie biscuit. She places the doggie
biscuit on the floor close to where Sandi is laying and backs up and sits
and then barks.. Sandi does not move. Katie barks again.
This time Sandi gets up off the couch onto the floor sees the doggie biscuit
and takes it and gets back up onto the couch. Katie appears pleased and lies
down.
BJ: Good girl Katie.
Katie grins: I am just sharing our home with Sandi.
Sandi: Thanks Katie.
The herd (this is as it was)
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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