Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
A Different Christmas Poem Via Mrs. Spider
The embers glowed softly, and in their dim light,
I gazed round the room and I cherished the sight.
My wife was asleep, her head on my chest,
My daughter beside me, angelic in rest.
Outside the snow fell, a blanket of white,
Transforming the yard to a winter delight.
The sparkling lights in the tree I believe,
Completed the magic that was Christmas Eve.
My eyelids were heavy, my breathing was deep,
Secure and surrounded by love I would sleep.
In perfect contentment, or so it would seem,
So I slumbered, perhaps I started to dream.
The sound wasn't loud, and it wasn't too near,
But I opened my eyes when it tickled my ear..
Perhaps just a cough, I didn't quite know, Then the
sure sound of footsteps outside in the snow.
My soul gave a tremble, I struggled to hear,
And I crept to the door just to see who was near.
Standing out in the cold and the dark of the night,
A lone figure stood, his face weary and tight.
A soldier, I puzzled, some twenty years old,
Perhaps a Marine, huddled here in the cold.
Alone in the dark, he looked up and smiled,
Standing watch over me, and my wife and my child.
"What are you doing?" I asked without fear,
"Come in this moment, it's freezing out here!
Put down your pack, brush the snow from your sleeve,
You should be at home on a cold Christmas Eve!"
For barely a moment I saw his eyes shift,
Away from the cold and the snow blown in drifts..
To the window that danced with a warm fire's light
Then he sighed and he said "Its really all right,
I'm out here by choice. I'm here every night."
"It's my duty to stand at the front of the line,
That separates you from the darkest of times.
No one had to ask or beg or implore me,
I'm proud to stand here like my fathers before me.
My Gramps died at ' Pearl on a day in December,"
Then he sighed, "That's a Christmas 'Gram always remembers."
My dad stood his watch in the jungles of ' Nam ',
And now it is my turn and so, here I am.
I've not seen my own son in more than a while,
But my wife sends me pictures, he's sure got her smile.
Then he bent and he carefully pulled from his bag,
The red, white, and blue... an American flag.
I can live through the cold and the being alone,
Away from my family, my house and my home.
I can stand at my post through the rain and the sleet,
I can sleep in a foxhole with little to eat.
I can carry the weight of killing another,
Or lay down my life with my sister and brother..
Who stand at the front against any and all,
To ensure for all time that this flag will not fall.."
" So go back inside," he said, "harbor no fright,
Your family is waiting and I'll be all right."
"But isn't there something I can do, at the least,
"Give you money," I asked, "or prepare you a feast?
It seems all too little for all that you've done,
For being away from your wife and your son."
Then his eye welled a tear that held no regret,
"Just tell us you love us, and never forget.
To fight for our rights back at home while we're gone,
To stand your own watch, no matter how long.
For when we come home, either standing or dead,
To know you remember we fought and we bled.
Is payment enough, and with that we will trust,
That we mattered to you as you mattered to us."
PLEASE, would you do me the kind favor of sending this to as many
people as you can? Christmas will be coming soon and some credit is
due to our
U.S service men and women for our being able to celebrate these
festivities. Let's try in this small way to pay a tiny bit of what
we owe. Make people
stop and think of our heroes, living and dead, who sacrificed
themselves for us.
LCDR Jeff Giles, SC, USN
30th Naval Construction Regiment
OIC, Logistics Cell One
Al Taqqadum, Iraq
GOD BLESS OUR TROOPS
Enjoy the Chips... buffalo
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A mother and daughter loved to play around. They partied everyday and
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after bathing, she would put it back in her hole. One day, after bathing,
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wife left the apple for him and he ate it, Honey, thanks for the apple. It
tasted great! Shocked, the daughter dare not tell her husband about it and
went to consult her mother, Mom, I'm in deep shit now!
I took out the apple while I was bathing and I forgot to put it back and
Peter found the apple I left on the wash basin and ate it! What should I
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Little Johnny Chips
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him try to answer the question. So little Johnny says: the farmer
uses a weather vane to tell the weather!" ok, that wasn't so bad, so
the teacher then asks the class what kind of animal is the weather
vane? again no one but little Johnny seems to know the answer.
Reluctantly she lets him answer. Little Johnny sez with a big ol
smile on his face: "why teacher, it's a cock!", well the teacher
sighs to herself well after all it is. So next the teacher asks the
class: " can anyone tell me why does the farmer use a cock on the
barn as a weather vane?" Of course, the same dumb blank look on all
of the kids faces, cept of course, for little Johnny, again she
reluctantly allows him to answer the question, knowing she's
probably not gonna like the way he phrases it. Little Johnny stands
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Short Chips
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A pair of stage-door Johnnies are ogling the cuties who are leaving the
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her again."
"Wow," said his buddy, "Do you mean to tell me you've been doing it with
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"No, I felt like it before, and I feel like it now."
~~~~~~~
A man on a business trip went to a singles bar, approached two ladies, and
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~~~~~~~
Little Johnny comes running into the backyard. He screams, "Pop!
Pop!
Ma just got hit by a bus!"
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you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."
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Short Chips
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Boy the desert is hot and dry today. As I was driving along I passed this
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~~~~~
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~~~~~
A bride who got a little too drunk at her wedding reception was still
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She stumbled through a short speech and then slowly turned to point to the
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copulator"
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/I Remember
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carolyn w/ Christmas In The Fifties ~ Jingle Bells ~ Ricky Nelson
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Why are guys so good at video games?
A. It's the eye-hand coordination developed after all those years of
jerking off to Playboy centerfolds.
Why do they say that eating yogurt and oysters will improve your sex life?
Because if you'll eat that stuff, you'll eat anything <thanks Jim> Yo momma
so slutty that I could've been your daddy, but the guy in line behind me had
the correct change.
Yo momma nose so big you can go bowling with her boogers!
Yo momma nose so big she makes Pinocchio look like a cat!
Why are blondes lousy at mustering cattle?
Because they can't keep their calves together. <Thanx Greg> Heaven is when
you have barrels of beer and tons of girls.
Hell is when you find out that the barrels have holes and the girls don't!
Did you hear what the dyslexic Highway Patrolman did on New Year's?
He spent the whole night handing out I.U.D.'s
Woman serving dinner to husband:
"It's a hamburger surprise. You had it yesterday and the day before, and
you certainly didn't expect to get it again tonight."
Q. Why do women get their belly buttons pierced?
A. Where else would they hang the air freshener.
One day, near Christmas, Amy was walking down the street, singing to
herself, "All I want for Christmas is a 10" dick, a 10" dick, a 10" dick".
Buffalo, who was out shopping, upon hearing her song, turns and follows her,
singing "Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa Claus"
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Limerick Chips
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There was a young lady named Hilda
Who went on a date with a Builder
She knew that he could
And he should and he would
And he did, and it bloody nigh killed her!
~~~
There was a young lady named Gloria,
Who was goosed by Sir Oswald Du Maurier...
And then by six men,
Sir Oswald again,
And the band at the Woldorf Astoria!
I Just Met A Girl From Peru,
Who Likes Off Beat Places To Screw.
We've Done It On Trains,
In Hammocks, On Planes,
And Next Week We'll Try A Canoe.
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WHAT A REAL WOMAN DOES*
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will never stand him up and never
let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him
after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live
without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest
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She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in
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invincible. . .
No wait... Sorry... I'm thinking of beer. That's what beer does... Never
mind.
Dennis
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1931
The First Thanksgiving in Caldwell
Diana: We have all four tables pulled out with the leaves extended.
I hope we have room for everyone.
BJ: We will. We will sit the head buffalo over there. We will sit Zoey
over here, and Don next to Diane just to get sparks going for the fire.
Our grandkids will be at the third and fourth table and our kids will join
us with our friends at the two main tables pulled together.
Rudy: Will someone get that bottle of Wild Turkey from Ross!
Katie: Yeah we do not want Horace to see the label 'Wild Turkey.'
Sandi: He might think it is a relative.
BJ: Everyone sit.here comes the food.
Tami: No tofu turkey?
Rob: Shhh Tami.
Diana: Everyone grab a paw or a hand or a claw as we say grace.
Dear Lord we thank for another year of living. We ask you remember
those who have passed on before us. Bless those who are protecting us
today and their loved ones. Bless this food and the hands that prepared
it. Amen.
Then the food war begins.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
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