Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
A very Happy Thanksgiving to all those living in the states today.
It has been a good year for me this year. I have had just enough
money and an over abundance of love from family and friends
to make it till today. A special thanks to my doctor who has kept
me alive in spite of my efforts to destroy myself, I hope that everyone
has someone like him looking out for them.
I was remembering a Thanksgiving probably about nine years ago
where Sandy had been up early and got the bird in the oven and I
was out here on the computer working on the lists. It was a huge
turkey and it wouldn't fit in our usual black roaster so I had gotten
one of those disposable aluminum foil ones. I went out to the kitchen
and basted the turkey and slid it back in the oven and sat back down
at the computer.
Pretty soon it started to get a little smoky and I looked out into the
kitchen and smoke was pouring out of the oven. I ran out and shut
the oven off and opened the door and found the foil pan was leaking
juice and it was burning on the floor of the oven. I opened the back
door and the front door to get some air flowing and drained the
liquid from the turkey into the gravy pan and as there was still a lot of
smoke and little pieces of soot floating in the air, I went into Sandy's
room and opened the window. As I did several of the cats decided to
make a break for the fresh air and dove out of the windows. I put a
box fan in her window and turned it on and since it was only about 35
deg outside sat there and shivered till the smoke was gone and I could
turn the oven back on.
About that time one of the cats who had escaped dove from the
porch rail to the top of the fan in Sandy's window and knocked it
to the floor. I went in and shut the fan off and shut Sandy's window
and then as I was leaving to go close the doors, Sandy sat up in
bed and said, " What was that noise." I wish I could sleep that soundly.
Enjoy your Thanksgiving Dinner and thank you all for a great year.
buffalo
A Newsletter You may enjoy
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Little Johnny Chips
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The teacher had caught little Johnny gambling several times. She
requested a conference with Johnny's dad who admitted that he also
had tried to break Johnny of his gambling habit. After many failed
efforts, Johnny one day (after school) called the teacher a
hypocrite.
"Why do you say that, Johnny," she asked.
"Because you are."
Again she asked, "why."
He said, "Because you're not a true blonde."
She demanded to know how much money Johnny had.
It came to about $50. She bet him $50 dollars she was a true blonde.
She went behind her desk and removed her panties.
Then she stood with her back to the door and pulled her dress up
showing her radiantly blonde pubic hair. Afterwards she called the
father and told him what she had done "in Johnny's best interest."
The father moaned and groaned and cried, "Oh, no," numerous times.
The teacher said, "Look, I did this for Johnny. Do you think it was
easy for me to pull up my dress and show Johnny my pussy? I'd think
you'd be understanding instead of critical!"
The father replied, "Oh, I'm not so upset that you showed Johnny
your pussy, it's just that..."
"Just that what?" the embarrassed teacher asked.
The father replied, "It's just that I decided to break Johnny of
betting myself, and this morning I bet him that he was wrong when he
boasted that before the day was over, he'd have you lifting your
skirt and showing him your pussy."
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Apology Chips
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When I came into the office this morning, I noticed a sort of
general feeling of unfriendliness, and since several of you have
called me a "dirty son of a bitch" to my face, I knew I must have
done something wrong at the office Christmas Party. The Office
Manager called me from the hospital today and as this is my last
day, I'd like to take this way of apologizing to all of you. I would
prefer speaking to everyone personally, but all of you seem to go
deaf and dumb whenever I try to talk to you.
First, to our dear and beloved boss, I am sorry for all the things I
called you Friday afternoon. I'm very much aware that your father is
not a baboon, nor your mother a Chinese whore. Your wife is a
delightful woman, and my story of you buying her for 50 cents in
Tijuana was strictly a figment of my imagination. Your children are
undoubtedly yours, too. About the water cooler incident, you'll
never know how badly I feel about it, and I hope you didn't hurt
your head when they were trying to get the glass jug off.
To Mary, I express my deepest regrets. In my own defence, I must
remind you that you seemed to enjoy our little escapade on the
stairway as much as I did until the banister broke and we fell eight
feet to the second floor landing. In spite of the rupture you
incurred when I landed on top of you, I am sure you will admit that
when we landed it was one of the biggest thrills you have ever had.
Sam, you old cuss, you've just got to forgive me for that little
prank I played on you. If I had known you were goosey, I'd have
never done it. It would have been a lot worse if that fat lady
hadn't been standing right under the window you jumped through. She
really broke your fall a lot. People have been killed falling three
stories.
Gene, I regret telling the fireman it was you who turned in the
false alarm. But, of course, I had no way of knowing they would make
such a bad report of it. Those fire hoses sure have a lot of
pressure don't they? And the water is cold!!
Don, I know how you must feel about me. Opening the door to the
broom closet suddenly must have startled you and Millie quite badly,
and to think how hard you bumped your chin on the shelf when you
bent over to pull up your pants, it makes me sick. We'll have to get
together for dinner some night after the dentist finishes your
plates.
Mary, the only excuse I can offer for stealing all your clothes and
hiding them when I found you passed out in the ladies room, is that
I was drunk. Also, I want you to know I was very embarrassed when I
couldn't remember where I hid them and you had to go home in that
old sofa cover. Running your falsies up the flag pole was a bit too
much, but like I said, I was a little drunk.
To all of you, I am sorry. Setting Jan's panties on fire seemed
funny at the time, and it makes me sad to hear that her husband is
divorcing her because of it.
Urinating in everyone's drink was in bad taste, and not telling them
about it until all the drinks were gone was even worse.
Now that I have apologized to all of you, I know that I am forgiven.
Even though I no longer work there, I will do my darnest to come to
the picnic next Friday
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Greek Chips
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A man goes into a little neighborhood pub, and when he sits down, he notices
a beautiful woman sitting at the other end of the bar. He waves to her, and
much to his surprise, she winks back at him. It doesn't take long before he
is on the stool next to her.
They talk for about fifteen minutes and then the man says to the woman,
"You're really hot!"
"You're pretty cute, too," she says to him. "I'll tell you what. I live just
around the corner - what do you think about coming up to my place?"
"That sounds great!" the man eagerly replies.
"Before we go up there, though," the woman says, "I have to ask you one
question Do you like doing it Greek style?"
"Well... uh... I'm not exactly sure what that is," the man answers, "but it
sure sounds interesting and I'm willing to learn! Let's go!"
So the two of them walk over to her apartment. As soon as they get inside
the door, the woman rips off all her clothes. The man can't believe his
eyes! She has an incredibly beautiful body.
"Now, you're sure," the woman asks, "that you want to do it Greek style?"
"Definitely!" the man replies.
"All right, then," says the woman. "Take off all your clothes, and get up on
the bed on yours hands and knees."
"Sounds like fun!" the man exclaims. He leaps out of his clothes and climbs
onto the bed on his hands and knees.
The woman goes around and gets onto the bed right in front of the man. She
kneels down in front of his head.
She asks him again, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"
"Yeah! Yeah, let's go!" says the man.
The woman grabs the man with her arms right under his armpits, getting him
in a lock hold. He can't move at all, and his head is pressing right into
her chest.
One more time she says, "Are you sure that you want to do it Greek style?"
The man's muffled voice can barely be heard from between her breasts.
"Mmmf, yeah!" he mumbles, "Greek style!"
The woman's grip on him tightens like a vice, and she yells out,
"OKAY, GEORGE! Come and get it!"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man with a premature ejaculation problem goes to a shrink. "Every time i
have sexual relations with my wife I cum too early," says the man. "Well,
next time you feel the urge to cum too soon, scare yourself somehow, this
should help," says the shrink. On the way home the man stops into a hardware
store and buys a starter pistol that makes a loud noise. The man gets home
to find his wife naked in bed. He jumps on her and they start getting it on.
Eventually they start 69ing, and the man feels the urge to cum too soon, so
he shoots the pistol. The next day the therapist asks the man how it went.
The man replies: "Thanks a lot, jerk! My wife shat on my face, bit down on
my dick, and my next-door neighboor came running out of my closet naked with
his hands in the air."
When the workmen were here they put their tools in my wife's new drawers and
made a mess. Please send men with clean tools to finish the job and keep my
wife happy.
There was a guy riding through the desert on his camel. He had been
traveling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no
women in the desert so the man turned to his camel. He tried to position
himself to have sex with his camel but the camel ran away. The man ran to
catch up to the camel and got back on and started to ride again. Soon he was
feeling the urge to have sex again so once again he turned to his camel. The
camel refused by running away. So he caught up to it again and go on it
again. Finally after riding the camel through the whole desert the man came
to a road. There was a broken down car with three big chested beautiful
blondes sitting in it. He went up to them and asked the women if they needed
any help. The hottest girl said ,"If you fix our car we will do anything you
want." The man luckily knew a thing or two about cars and fixed it in a
flash. When he finished are three girls asked,"How could we ever repay you
Mr." After thinking for a short while he replied,"Could you hold my camel?"
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Christmas Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Christmas Story for people having a bad day.....
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys
as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas
pressure.
Then Mrs Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed
Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about
to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows
where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the
toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of
rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the
cider and hidden the rum. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the
cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the
kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the
straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked
it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely
day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tre
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LynnLynn's Links
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If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Blessed Thanksgiving
http://www.silverandgoldandthee.com/Holiday2/ADayOf.html
~~I Give Thanks~~Graphics by Ultimate Designs
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~~Give Thanks~~ Graphics by Moon and Back
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Lora w/Thanksgiving In Our Hearts
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Surfin Surfari
Sprinkles Of Grace
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Thanksgiving
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Thanksgiving Desserts
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Real Names
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Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
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especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
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minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Thanksgiving
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Thanksgiving
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Animal World
Safe Thanksgiving for Cats
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Thanksgiving Dinner For Your dog
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Movie Links
Hot Sex
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How I crashed my Harley
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How I Will Feel If Hillary Is Elected
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How to get rid of a one night stand
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How to carry plywood
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Love Bird
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Love Hurts
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Megan True Love
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Men Invented Everything
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Mouse
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liquor Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There were two teenage girls who decided they wanted to go into a package
store and see if they could buy some liquor. So they parked their car and
one girl said to her friend you wait here I'm going in to see if I can get
us something to drink. If I am not back in 15 minutes come in and look for
me and see if maybe I got busted and might need you to call my parents or
something. So the girl disappears into the store and 15 minutes goes by and
the 2nd girl is getting worried about her friend so she goes to the front
door of the package store to see if she's ok and the door is locked! And
all of the lights are off and no one is in sight. She looks at her watch
and says gee it's too early for the store to be closed so she decides to go
around to the back and try to get in that way. She goes to the backdoor,
which is also locked, but it has a small window. So she peeks into the
window and sees that the owner of the package store has her friend tied up
in a standing position with her arms over her head and she is butt naked and
the owner of the store is licking her friend all over her body from head to
toe. She freaks out and says OMG I better go call 911.
So she goes to a phone and calls the police and finally they get there and
they bang and bang on the door until the owner finally opens it.
They enter the store and tell the owner you better get this girl dressed and
out of here right away.
The girl says but wait!! I want to press charges and the cops tell her you
can't press charges she says He had me tied up naked He gets up and asks
them why they are fighting. The police say I am sorry you cannot press
charges and the girls ask again but why not? The police say because he has
a "liquor license"!!
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Toon Chips
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Oh Boss
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Bad Milk
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Cards
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Stripper Strike
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Billy's Plan
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Coke Job
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Humpty Dumpty sat on the bed,
Little Bo Peep was giving him head,
As soon as he came she started to weep,
She knew by the taste he'd been fucking her sheep.
Said a thoughtful young stud of Brasilia,
"One orgasmic spasm would fillya,
So I'll just let the rest
Gush out on your chest;
If I shot it inside it'd killya."
A decent young fellow named Herm
Was equipped with a geyser-like worm:
The size wasn't much
But its volume was such
That his lovers did backstroke in sperm.
<Snagged by>
Ross
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Important men in a women's life.
?
1. A Doctor - who tells her to "take off all her clothes."
?
2. A Dentist - who tells her to "open wide."
?
3. A Milkman - who asks her "do you want it in the front or the back?"
?
4. A Beautician - who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"
?
5. An Interior Designer - who assures her "once it's inside, you will love
it!"
?
6. A Banker - who insists to her "if you take it out too soon, you'll lose
interest!"
?
7. And most important...
A Hunter - who always goes deep into the bush, always shoots twice, always
eats what he shoots, but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"
?
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1928
Kookin' Katie Style Rudy heads over to Katie's dog house and walks in. to a
house full of tasty smell.
Rudy: Good grief, what is that lovely smell?
Katie peeks her head from the kitchen: Oh it is just me fixing a few little
things in the kitchen.
Rudy: Can I come in and watch?
Katie: You poor starving fellow. Sure you can watch.
Rudy watches as Katie cooks..
Katie: This is called Goop! It looks like goop, but tastes yummy.
Rudy: How do you fix it?
Katie: You cook one pound of ground round and crumble it.
You pour two pounds of prego into a pan with the ground round, add one pound
of velvetta, toss in a little onion and let it warm up until the cheese is
melted. You can use it as a dip or eat it like it is.
Rudy: I will eat it out of the pan, I am starving.
The herd
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Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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