[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For 11-6-10

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

As I ran to the store tonight the temperature dropped from 32 deg.
to 28 deg. The forecasters have been predicting snow because if
you get even some stray moisture you will get snow and they hate
being wrong. As soon as it gets enough to cover the road, I will be in
four-wheel drive. There is usually a short period of rain before the first
snow and that flash freezes to the road and then the snow acts like
oil on a Teflon skillet. Even though it's fun to drift and slide through
turns, I would probably end up side-slapping a Police Car which
would be frowned upon and laughed at over and over again by Buffy.
That said it is a good time for one of my slippery stories.

As each day gets colder you start to think about winter and driving in the
snow. I have four-wheel drive now but once upon a time all I had was good
tires and a lot of scrap metal in my trunk.

Getting stuck is never funny when it happens, usually it is at the beginning
or ending of a long work day and just one more hassle that you have to
handle. There are times when you pause later to look back on the situation
and you have to smile. In between my parent's house in the country and the
town eight miles away was a S-curve, normal speed limit 35 mph. During the
summer one could zip around it above the speed limit but come winter it was
one of the worst places imaginable. There were large hay fields and cattle
pasture on three sides and the wind would blow through unimpeded during
storms. The effect would be that it was either full of snow up to your
windshield that would drag you off the road if you were going to fast or bog
you down till you were stuck if you went through too slow. Then there was
the opposite effect when the snow stopped, the wind would then polish the
ice below to a surface that would do a Zamboni operator proud.

I was coming home from a rough day at the flywheel factory and as I entered
the first corner at about 20 mph, it was glare ice. The car started to skid
and I hit the snow bank just hard enough to stick the nose of the car in it.
I tried rocking it without luck so leaving the car in reverse tires slowly
spinning I got out and started to push. It came free but before I could get
in and stop it, it wedged itself in the opposite snow bank. I got out and
same procedure, same result car back in snow bank where it originally was.
After two more tries, even with the wheels turned I was getting nowhere and
traffic had started to back up and a couple of people came over and gave me
a hand. They said they would have offered sooner but it was really amusing
watching me chase the car.

Enjoy the chips.... buffalo

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Irish Chips
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How can one *not* love Irish men after so much honesty?
From a 'personals' section from a Dublin newspaper:

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in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow Celtic Football
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Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by long
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Ginger haired Galway man, a born troublemaker, gets
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lady for bail purposes, maybe more.

Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a damp cottage in
the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21-year-old blonde lady,
with a lovely chest.

Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks alibi
for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.

Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20-year-old double-jointed
supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin
sister.

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radar
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Short Chips
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"When I realized that I couldn't satisfy my wife's insatiable sex
appetite," the man said to his drinking buddy, "I bought her quite
an assortment of every sex toy made, thinking that would keep her
faithful."

"Did it work ?" asked the friend.

"Well, kinda..." the man replied. "But now, every time I do feel
like a little, I find myself 3rd or 4th in line."

The young immigrant couple had just left the courthouse after being
sworn in as American citizens.

"It is wonderful," the husband exclaimed. "We are American citizens
at last! Do you know what this means to us my dear wife?"

"Yes, you male chauvinist pig," his wife replied. "Tonight, you cook
dinner and I get on top!"

It was really something else, man!" said the cadet policeman to his
partner. "When I was off duty Saturday night, I went to this big
party, see, and pretty soon I noticed this fabulous little bird
giving me the eye. Then she asked me to take her home. And just as
soon as we were in the car, she unzipped me and went right down on
the old fella - and I still didn't even know her name."

"So what did you do?" asked the other cop.

"Well, I figured this was one situation where I'd shoot first and
ask questions afterward."- - - - -

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Short Chips
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The difference between a straight rodeo and a gay rodeo is that at a
straight rodeo they yell "ride them suckers!"

A happily married man, one night, asked his wife to have sex "doggy
style.""No!" she said, aghast. Throughout their long relationship, he would
periodically ask her to have sex "doggy style." She always emphatically said
"No!" Finally, on the man's deathbed, he asked his wife why she refused his
simple request to have sex on her hands and knees." Hands and knees?" she
said, "I thought you meant in the front yard!"

A man goes into hospital for a vasectomy. When he wakes up he's surrounded
by several anxious looking doctors and asks nervously "Is there a problem?"
The head surgeon says gently, with tears in his eyes, "I'm afraid so... I'm
sorry but your notes got mixed up and we've given you a sex change rather
than a vasectomy." The patient is devastated and shockingly replies, "Do you
mean to say I'll never experience another erection?" The surgeon pauses for
a moment then says, "Well, you might, but it won't be yours."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Toasted Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John O'Riley was a member of an Irish Toast Masters Club and one evening at
the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was held to see who could
deliver the best toast.

Well, John O'Riley won the contest for the best toast of the evening,
"Here's To The Best Years o' Me Life, Spent Between The Legs o' Me Wife."

When John O'Riley arrived home his beautiful wife asked him how the Toast
Masters meeting went and he said, "I won the contest for the best toast of
the evening."

His wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said, "Here's To The Best
Years o' me Life, Spent in Church wi' me Wife."

His wife then said, "Why John, that's so nice of you to include me in your
Toast."

The next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and ran into the local
policeman on the beat who was also at the Toast Masters meeting with John
O'Riley.

He said, "Hello Mrs. O'Riley, that was some great toast that your husband
John gave at the Toast Masters meeting last evening. He won first prize".

"Yes, that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he wasn't quite honest with
the facts: he's only been there twice, the first time he fell asleep and the
second time I had to pull him out by the ears."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dave sent his wife a message that he'd be home a day earlier than planned.
Arriving at the house, he discovered his wife in bed with another man.
Bitterly, Dave kicked them out of the house, and started to plan a course of
action. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his soon to be
ex-mother- in- law. She believed that there was no doubt a good explanation
for her daughter's behavior. Dave told her to buzz off. The next day his
mother-in-law called again. "Didn't I tell you?" she said. "Didn't I tell
you there was an explanation? I just got through talking to your wife. She
never got your e-mail! It's all YOUR fault!" 

One day a man and his wife were watching their son playing with Army
soldiers, when they heard him say, "Look, daddy, the green soldiers just
blew the hell out of the tan soldiers." Shocked, the wife tells the boy to
go to his room, and think about what he just said. A few minutes later the
husband says to his wife, "How about me and you play soldiers and you can
blow the hell out of me?"

I was talking to a friend of mine, and he told me that he's been married a
little over four years and was celebrating his 'Wooden' anniversary. I asked
what a 'wooden' anniversary was. He said, "I asked her to give me a blow job
and she wooden.

While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, 'How long have
you been bedridden?' After a look of complete confusion, she answered...'
Why, not for about twenty years -- when my husband was alive.'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Poetry Chips
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JACK AND JILL
Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass and grabbed her ass,
And now two of his front teeth are missing.

Jack and Jill Went up the hill,
Each one had a quarter.
Jill came down with fifty cents,
Do you think they went for water?

Jack and Jill went up the hill
For a bit of hanky panky,
Jill came back with a very sore crack,
Jack must have been a Yankee!

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
For just an itty bitty.
Jill is now two months overdue,
And Jack has left the city.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
To fetch a pail of water.
Jill forgot to take the pill,
So now they've got a daughter.

Jack and Jill went up the hill,
With a little keg of brandy.
Jack got stewed, Jill got screwed,
Now it's Jack, and Jill, and Andy.

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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

blind les
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blind my ass
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blind nurses
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blind painter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kl;l;;;ppkmm.htm

blind man 2
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blow job matic
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When I was a baby, my penis
Was as white as the buttocks of Venus
But now, it's as red
As her nipples instead
All because of the menstrual genus!
__________________________________

"When I see a monk's ass I just grab it."
Said the lazily amorous abbot.
"Although it's more fun,
To have sex with a nun,
It's so hard to get into the habit!"
__________________________________

When a horseplaying golfer named Trey
Goosed a girl in the rough one fine day
He found her, though willing,
Just barely fulfilling....
"I would rate her," said Trey, "a par lay."
<Snagged by>
Ross

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Parting Chips
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Regarding the Mosque being built near ground zero. I say let them build it.
But then, across the street we should put a topless bar called " You Mecca
Me Hot" and next to that a gay bar called "The Turban Cowboy" and next to
that a Pork Rib restaurant called "Iraq-O-Ribs" and next to that a ...check
cashing place called "Iran out of Money" then we'll see who's tolerant.

Gordon

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1914 A Girl Can Change Her Mind BJ is ready to
leave Caldwell and is packing his car.

Sandi is outside like usual. BJ always gives her a choice to stay or go.
This time, without hesitation, Sandi jumps in the passenger seat and looks
at BJ.

Sandi: I am ready to go Daddy.

BJ: Are you certain?

Sandi: Yes, I had mixed emotions every week for weeks but today I am
positive.

BJ: Okay… come on Katie, let's go.

Katie gets in the car.

Katie: What, I do not get the front seat?

I thought you could not leave Rudy?

Sandi: I also cannot leave Dad.

Katie: What's a girl going to do?

Sandi: Go with her heart.

The herd

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Adult Adult

*********************************************

Remember 9/11/01

Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list

In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:

William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783

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