THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time,
because then you don't have a leg to stand on.
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
In local news today, the story made headlines of
one of our wonderful bridge card users here in
Michigan. A bridge card is a debit card issued
by the department of social services. It used for
the federally-funded,
state-administered debit card that allows people on
public assistance to, among other things, purchase food
with the swipe of the card. The lady bought 42
cans of pop with her card. Then promptly took them out to the pop
bottle and can returnables machines, and ran them through,
all of them full of pop,
retrieving the $4.20 change from the returnables.
The gummy mess trashed the machines, and the manager
of the store called Department of Social Services to
complain. But he was told that the bridge card user
officially did not break any laws. This is your tax
dollars at work folks, ain't it wonderful?
Go figger
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________
THE COMICS
thou shalt not
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v046.html
no, stop
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v047.html
didn't want the job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v048.html
yak yak yak
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v049.html
for the record
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/v050.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Johnny Carson Lie Detector Politician
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/427.html
The Commandant and the Sergeant Major of the Marine speak
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/428.html
Sister Strikes Again!: Late Nite Catechism 2
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/429.html
___________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
15 reasons to play golf
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd516.html
The elderly man flattered himself that he was
still a ladies' man, and decided to flirt with
the beautiful waitress. "So tell me, sweetheart,
where have you been all my life?" he crooned.
"Actually, sir," she pointed out sweetly, "for
the first 45 years of it, I wasn't even around."
_____________
The fellow stormed into the postmaster's office
in a fury. "I've been getting threatening letters
in the mail for months and I want them stopped."
"Of course," said the postmaster. "Sending
threatening letters through the mail is a federal
offense. Do you know who's sending them?" "Yes,"
shouted the man. "It's those idiots down at the
Internal Revenue Service."
____________
Young woman: "Where are we going?"
Young Pauly (driving): "Oh, just a drive in the country."
Young woman: "Will you stop the car in the middle
of nowhere, and then put your hand up my skirt,
kiss me, and finally have sex with me?"
Young Pauly (virtuously): "Of course not!"
Young woman: "Then what are we going for?"
_____________
Two little snakes were wiggling along the side of
the road when the first little snake turned to
the second ittle snake and asked, "Are we
poisonous?" "Why?" asked the second little snake,
to which the first little snake replied, "Because
I just bit my lip!"
___________
"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had
the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so
they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.
With that as his mission he began to search for the
perfect woman. Shortly there after he met a Redneck
who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that
positively took his breath away. So he explained his
mission to the Redneck and asked for permission to
marry one of them. The Redneck simply replied,
"They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the
right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."
The man dated the first daughter.
The next day the Redneck asked for the man's opinion.
"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not
that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed."
The Redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of
the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.
The next day, the Redneck again asked how things went.
"Well,"the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not
that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."
The Redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl
To see if things might be better. So he did.
The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming,
"She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."
So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born.
When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the
baby was the Ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine.
He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing
could happen considering the beauty of the parents.
"Well," explained the Redneck...
"She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell...
Pregnant when you met her."
_______________
An Arab needed a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery
the doctors needed to store his blood type in case the need
arises. Because the gentleman had a rare type of blood,
it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number
of countries. Finally, a Jew was located who had the same blood
type and who was willing to donate his blood to the Arab. After
the surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a thank-you card for giving
his blood along with an expensive diamond and a new Rolls Royce
car as a token of his appreciation. Unfortunately, the Arab
had to go through a corrective surgery once again. His doctors
called the Jew who was more than happy to donate his blood again.
After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Jew a Thank You card
and a box of Almond Roca sweets. The Jew was shocked to see
that the Arab this time did not acknowledge the Jew's kind
gesture in the same way as he had done the first time. So he
phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his
appreciation in not a very generous manner. The Arab replied,
"You forget, I have Jewish blood in me now!"
____________
There once was a man who owned a sausage factory, and he was
showing his arrogant preppy son around his factory.
Try as he might to impress his snobbish son, his son would just sneer.
They approached the heart of the factory, where the father thought,
"This should impress him!"
He showed his son a machine and said "Son, this is the heart of the factory.
With this machine here we can put in a pig, and out come sausages.
The prudish son, unimpressed, said "Yes, but do you have a machine
where you can put in a sausage and out comes a pig?"
The father, furious, thought and said, "Yes son, we call it your mother."
BUFFALO BILL
Football
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hfkhfdj.htm
Football Season
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jakhfj.htm
Fruit Cake
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hdskjhsa.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day!
FROM:
MArtin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment