THE POSTMAN'S CORNER!
Birds of a feather flock together,
and then crap on your car
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
So, what are your plans for Turkey day?
Seems that the war department is scheduled
to work that day, so we are gonna have everyone
over for supper, instead of lunch. That
also means that yours truly will be doing
most of the cooking. Thats ok. These days a good
spread is fairly simple. A few baked potatos,
just stick em in the oven. Stuffing, a
couple of boxes of stove top will work nicely.
And of course u just open up a can or two
for the green been casserole. Brown n serv
dinner roles and buy a couple pies at Walmart,
All you got left to do is to pull a roast turkey
out unthaw it, pop it in the oven till its hot.
Pull a jar or two out from the freezer and
unthaw some peaches or applesauce.
Simple stuff these days even if you do not
know how to cook:)
Go figger.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________________
THE COMICS
gravity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w001.html
suicide
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w002.html
prison is not so bad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w003.html
curbing my appetite
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w004.html
a big bust
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w005.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
don't drop it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/445.html
thats what u said
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/446.html
Donald Rumsfeld leaves office
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/447.html
______________
POWER POINT DISPLAY
donkey
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/fpe/ppd521.html
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus
was in progress.A sign read: 'Don't miss Derek
The Amazing Scotsman'. The salesman bought a
ticket and sat down.There, on centre stage,
was a table with three walnuts on it.
Standing next to it was an old Scotsman.
Suddenly the old man lifted his kilt, whipped
out a huge willy and smashed all three walnuts
with three mighty swings!The crowd erupted in
applause as the elderly Scot was carried off on
the shoulders of the crowd. Ten years later the
salesman visited the same little town and saw a
faded sign for the same circus and The same sign
'Don't miss Derek The Amazing Scotsman'.
He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive,
much less still doing his act!
He bought a ticket. Again, the centre ring
was illuminated. This time, however, instead of
walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table.
The Scotsman stood before them, then suddenly
lifted his kilt and shattered the coconuts with
three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went
wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a
meeting with him after the show. 'You're incredible!'
he told the Scotsman. 'But I have to know
Something. You're older now, why switch from
walnuts to coconuts?''Well laddie,' said the Scot,
'Ma eyes are nae whit they used tae be.'
________________
An old Italian man is dying.
He calls his grandson to his bedside...
"Guido, I wan' you lissin-a me. I wan' you to take
-a my chrome plated .38 revolver so you will always
remember me." "But grandpa, I really don't like guns.
How about you leave me your nice Rolex watch instead?"
"You lissina me, boy. Somma day you gonna be runna da
business, you gonna have a beautiful wife, lotsa money,
a big-a home and maybe a couple of bambinos. Somma day
you gonna come-a home and maybe finda you wife inna bed
with another man... Whatta fuck are you gonna do then?
Pointa to you watch and say, 'Time's Up'?"
__________________
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the
young father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious
step. Are you prepared for it?"
"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made
appetizers and we have a caterer coming with plenty
of cookies and cakes for all of our friends."
"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean,
are you prepared spiritually?"
"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer
and a case of whiskey."
_____________
The drinker announced to the bartender, "It seems I've been
informally named advisor on 'Sexual Matters' at my
company.""That sounds interesting. Does this mean you'll be
counseling the big bosses on relations with their
secretaries?""I'm not sure yet," he answered.
"During a staff meeting, I
popped up to suggest a reduction in executive expense
accounts and it was after that I was told if they ever
wanted my fucking advice, they'd let me know."
BUFFALLO BILL
Voting Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91101.htm
Argument Settled
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91102.htm
Been Married To long
http://www.buffaloschips.com/91103.htm
____________
FUN PAGES
Cat Leather
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42243&s=n
Football Wedding
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=6041&s=n
Norm MacDonald Slider Puzzle
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42265&s=n
World's Largest Cookie
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42290&s=n
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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