Plants gone potty!: [PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!

The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him
to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised
when Ralph shows up with his attorney.
The auditor says, 'Well, sir, you have an extravagant
lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you
explain by saying that you win money
gambling. I'm not sure the IRS finds that believable.'
I'm a great gambler, and I can prove it,' says Ralph.
'How about a demonstration? ' The auditor thinks for
a moment and said, 'Okay. Go ahead.'
Ralph! says, 'I'll bet you a thousand dollars that
I can bite my own eye.' The auditor thinks a moment
and says, 'It's a bet.'Ralph removes his glass eye
and bites it. The auditor's jaw drops.
Ralph says, 'Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars
that I can bite my other eye.' Now the auditor can
tell Ralph isn't blind, so he takes the bet.
Ralph removes his dentures and bites his good eye.
The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and
lost three grand, with Ralph's attorney
as a witness. He starts to get nervous.
'Want to go double or nothing?' Ralph asks 'I'll bet
you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side
of your desk, and piss into that wastebasket on the
other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.'
The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he
looks carefully and decides there's no way this guy
could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again.
Ralph stands beside the desk and unzips his pants,
but although he strains mightily, he can't make the
stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so
he pretty much pisses all over the auditor's desk.
The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has
just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Ralph's
attorney moans and puts his head in his hands.
'Are you okay?' the auditor asks. 'Not really,'
says the attorney. 'This morning, when Ralph told me he'd
been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand
dollars that he could come in here and piss all over
your desk and that you'd be happy about it.'
________________

Two dwarfs go into a bar, where they pick up two
'working girls' and take them to their separate hotel rooms.
The first dwarf, however, is unable to get an erection.
His depression is made worse by the fact that, from the
next room, he hears his friend shouting out cries of
'Here I come again! ONE, TWO, THREE ..... UGH! Here I
come again! ONE, TWO, THREE... UGH! Here I come again!
ONE, TWO, THREE ... UGH!' .... ALL NIGHT LONG.
In the morning, the second dwarf asks the first,
'How did it go?' The first mutters, 'It was embarrassing.
I just couldn't get an erection.'The second dwarf shook
his head. 'You think that's embarrassing? I
couldn't get on the bed.
_______________

Our teacher asked us what our favorite animal was,
and I said, "Fried Chicken". She said I wasn't
funny, but she couldn't have been right, everyone
else in the class laughed. My parents told me to
always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried
Chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad
what happened, and he said my teacher was probably
a member of PETA. He said they love animals very
much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's
office. I told him what happened, and he laughed too.
Then he told me not to do it again. The next day
in class my teacher asked me what my favorite
live animal was. I told her it was chicken. She
asked me why, just like she'd asked the other
children. So I told her it was because you could
make them into fried chicken. She sent me back to
the principal's office again. He laughed, and told
me not to do it again. I don't understand. My parents
taught me to be honest, but my teacher
doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher
asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders".

BUFFALO BILL

Capoeira Fighter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012113.htm

Cell Phone Popcorn
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012114.htm

Chinook Water
http://www.buffaloschips.com/012115.htm

________________

FUN PAGES

Goldfish Change Color
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42249&s=n

How to Make a Paper Catamaran
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=42156&s=n

Sonic Xtreme 2
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=41892&s=n

Mr. Bean
http://www.funpageexchange.com/out.php?u=3456&pid=20497&s=n

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman

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Plants gone potty!

[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!

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