Adult Adult
I just slept most of the way through Monday. At first I thought
this was pretty strange but then I remembered that I was on day
three of no Diet Coke. I have been going through the stuff lately
like it was water, sometimes drinking 2 two liters a day and frankly
it wasn't tasting very good anymore. It had been my original intention
to replace it with coffee which I have a stock of but the coffee
pot is over at Buffy's house and I didn't have the ambition to go
get it. I'll keep this short and let you have your jokes as late as they
may be, I had two cups of hot chocolate to ease off the headache
a bit but it just doesn't make you creative like a 16 oz. cup of
gas station coffee.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
A Newsletter You may Enjoy
ROTTEN JOKES
:-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-)
Rotten Jokes (rated R-X)
These jokes are sooooo ROTTEN
you DON'T want your mother to read them!
http://rotten_jokes-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!!
:-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-):-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please visit our Sponsor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Scent - Refillable Perfume Atomizer
Take your favorite perfume wherever you go with My Scent. Refillable
atomizer as small as a lipstick - fits in any purse or pocket. It features a
clear window to indicate when it's time to refill. My Scent comes in three
fun colors - black, silver and pink.
Stay fragrant all day with My Scent,
Buy 1, Get 1 Free
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/mycent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Watch Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young Jew and an old Jew are riding on a bus
in Jerusalem.
The young Jew asks, "Excuse me, sir, what time
is it?"
The old Jew doesn't answer.
"Excuse me, sir," the young Jew asks again,
"what time is it?"
The old Jew looks up him, but still doesn't
answer.
The young Jew is puzzled, "Sir, forgive me for
interrupting you all the time, but I really
want to know what time it is. Why won't you
answer me?"
The old Jew turns toward the young man and says,
"Son, the next stop is the last on this route.
I don't know you, so you must be a stranger to
this land. If I answer you now, according to
Jewish tradition, I must invite you to my
home. You're handsome and I have a beautiful
daughter. You would fall in love with her and
you'd want to get married. And tell me, why
would I want a son-in-law who can't even afford
a fucking watch?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
good news
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w043.html
Margo says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w044.html
selective hearing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/w045.html
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you get your husband interested in oral sex?
Douche with beer.
What do you call a gay gentleman from the Deep South?
A homo-sex-y'all.
Hear about the new gay sitcom?
Leave it, it's Beaver.
Why is sex is like software?
For everyone who pays for it, there are hundreds getting it free.
What's the most active muscle in a woman ?
The penis.
What's the difference between a sorority and a circus?
A circus is a cunning array of stunts.
What's the definition of a vicious circle?
A pussy with teeth.
How can you tell if a woman really likes oral sex?
She hikes up her skirt every time someone yawns.
How do you get a woman off during sex?
Push her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Press Dough - Design your own cookie creations
Make fun, editable art with Press Dough. Take cookie making to a new level
with creating patterns, animals, shapes, and more. All Pieces are dishwasher
safe so clean up is a breeze. Just press, bake and decorate--Eat all the fun
you make.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/presdo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anger Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ANGER MANAGEMENT
When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know -- take it out on
someone you don't know.
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying, "Hello."
I politely said, "Could I please speak with Robin Carter?"
Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. I realized I had called the
wrong number.
I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had accidentally
transposed the last two digits of her phone number.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an asshole!" and
hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my
desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd
call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling
would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John
Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar
with the Caller ID program?"
He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.
I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"
One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some
guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waited for..
I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for that spot.
The idiot ignored me.
I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window so, I wrote down his number.
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.
I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
"Yes, it is."
"Can you tell me where I can see it?"
"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's
parked right out in front."
"What's your name?" I asked.
"My name is Don Hansen," he said.
"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
"I'm home every evening after five."
"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
"Yes?"
"Don, you're an asshole."
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used
to be.
So, I came up with an idea.
I called Asshole #1.
"Hello."
"You're an asshole!"
(But I didn't hang up.)
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said.
"Stop calling me," he screamed.
"Make me," I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen.."
"Yeah? Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my black
Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."
Then I called Asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello, asshole," I said.
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...!"
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay
lover.
Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th
Street.
I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.
When I got there, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
front of six squad cars, a police helicopter, and the channel 13 news crew.
NOW, I feel better - This is Anger Management at its very best.
Stan Kegel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bare Lifts - Invisible Bra Support
Bare Lifts is the invisible solution to a naturally perky look. Wear them
with any outfit, dress or swimsuit. They give you proper shape and support
and lasts up to 24 hours. Just place, peel, lift and go - it's that simple.
Bare Lifts works on all cup sizes A-D and you can forget spending hundreds
on specialty bras and lift systems.
Buy 1, Get 1 on us - order today.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/lifts
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a woman in my office became engaged, a colleague offered her some
advice. "The first ten years are the hardest," she said.
"How long have you been married?" I asked.
"Ten years," she replied.
?
- - - - -
?
This couple had been going out together for quite a while and was thinking
about getting married. They finally decided to spend a night in a motel to
see if they were sexually compatible.
The next morning he dropped her off at her apartment and he said, "So long
Lucy."
She said, "Goodbye, Shorty."
?
- - - - -
?
The young Swedish au pair had been working for the Schmitts for more than a
year. While hardworking and efficient, she still struggled with English.
One day she told Mrs. Schmitt that she had received good news from her
boyfriend Sven.
?
"He is coming visit me from army next week!"
"That's wonderful," the woman replied. "How long is his furlough?"
"Oh," the young woman said, "about long as Mr. Schmitt's. Maybe little
thicker."
?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be Alert, Keep Track!
Get Your Sleep Diary!
Many people suffer sleeping disorders and keeping track of sleeping habits
is the first step in finding a solution! With Quality Health's FREE sleep
diary, being alert and keeping track has never been easier.
Act Now - Copy and paste the link below into your browser's address bar:
http://buffaloschips.com/slpdry
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prison Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row.
The Warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:
1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.
So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head."
Boom, he was dead instantly.
Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.)
Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff."
They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing.
The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.
Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards
did.
Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.
Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?"
"You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
DISH Network, plans from only $24.99/mo + HD for life
w/agreement
1. FREE Upgrade to HD DVR (Record/playback 200 hours, only $5.98/mo)
2. FREE 3 Months HBO & Showtime w/18 + Premium Channels (w/commitment)
3. FREE Dish Remote Access (manage you DVR... anytime, anywhere)
4. FREE Six Room Pro Standard Installation (in as little as 24 hours)
5. FREE activation (up to a $99.00 value)
NFL REDZONE:
What is NFL Zone? Sunday afternoons during the season, NFL RedZone takes
fans from game to game to see all the key moments - as they happen - in HD.
NFL RedZone is the must-have channel for every football fan and the perfect
network for fantasy football.
Only $7.00/mo
DISH Network and DISH Network logos are registered trademarks and/or service
marks of DISH Network L.L.C. The DISH Network trademark and/or service marks
are used by the authority of DISH Network L.L.C. and/or its applicable
affiliate(s).
http://buffaloschips.com/dshtv
First-time DISH Network customers only. This promotion expires and is
subject to change after Jan 31st, 2011.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-subscribe@Yahoogroups.com
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/World of White
http://silverandgoldandthee.net/Misc_files/B/Wo.B.html
The Stars We See
http://www.poetryinfocus.com/Poetry/Poem192.html
Amazing Stairways
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/stairs.html
Mountain Folk Art
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/folkart.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Now It's Your Turn To SCOOP UP some cash.
Wireless companies have accidentally stumbled and "opened up" an
impressive income opportunity to grab during the worst economy we've
seen in over 50 years.
And here's everything they don't want you to know...
http://buffaloschips.com/scoop
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Surfin Surfari
National Traffic and Road Closure Information
http://www.fhwa.dot.gov/trafficinfo/
Snow and Ice data
http://www-nsidc.colorado.edu/index.html
Christmas Facts!
http://www.luvscreations.com/holiday_facts.htm
Christmas Quiz
http://biblequizzes.org.uk/real-christmas-quiz.php
32 nearby stars
http://kisd.de/~krystian/starmap/
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Okay, everyone is telling me that I'm an insane millionaire who must
have gone absolutely crazy for doing this today and tomorrow,
especially on Thankgiving of all days, but I don't care anymore
because I think it's just the right thing to do.
Okay, let me catch my breathe while I type this because you're not
going to believe this...First off, thank you so much for taking a
minute to read this, my name is Justin Blake, and I'm a millionaire
that was dared to do something insane tonight and tomorrow morning,
and if you're interested in knowing what it is then read below, but
you'll need to hurry because you may only have a few minutes to take
advantage of this:
As part of an insane marketing test, I'm giving away my Online
Business Kit, but I'm only giving it away this today and tomorrow
morning.....so you need to get your copy today if you want one.
Press here to get your copy:
http://buffaloschips.com/kit
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Free online Trojan Scanner - Scan your system for Trojans
http://www.windowsecurity.com/trojanscan/
Digital On-line Canvas
http://tinyurl.com/5ltup
Prio - Process Priority Saver. Free for personal use.
http://tinyurl.com/cu8gjt
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Listen, you will have no one but yourself to blame if you don't go
on an intimate date this weekend with a beautiful single woman or
man! NO ONE BUT YOURSELF TO BLAME!!!
Why will we blame you? Because we are giving away memberships to our
ADULTS ONLY dating community this week....and you can get one right
now for no cost...but we will not be giving them away forever.
PRESS HERE to meet single women or men this week for an intimate
date:
http://buffaloschips.com/date
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
http://www.shangralafamilyfun.com/babyanimals.html
Kitty Korner
http://www.cathouse-fcc.org/chineseleopard.html
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
We understand that you may have accidentally deleted important
documents, pictures, or other various files from your computer that
you thought you could never get back.
Well, we wanted to let you know that you can easily get your deleted
pictures, documents, or files back today using a program called File
R/D.
You can easily try File R/D right now, for no cost, to run a -free-
analysis scan that will allow you to view deleted pictures, files,
documents, etc... Once you have complete the -free- analysis scan
you will be amazed by what you see! In fact, you will even see what
other people have deleted from your computer.
Once the scanning is complete you will have full control over which
files you want to recover.
Press here to run the -free- analysis scan:
http://buffaloschips.com/restore
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Movie Links
Sir Edmund
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81814.htm
Smoke Inhalation
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81815.htm
Sneeze Aivastus
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81816.htm
Sorry Sir no bathing suits in the lobby
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81817.htm
Sorry Officer
http://www.buffaloschips.com/81818.htm
Exam
http://www.buffaloschips.com/34t.htm
Future Engineers
http://www.buffaloschips.com/9o7.htm
Glock Home Protection
http://www.buffaloschips.com/78i6.htm
Gunfighter
http://www.buffaloschips.com/i7664.htm
Guterbike
http://www.buffaloschips.com/u64eh.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pelosi Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cow suddenly jumps out into the road, they hit it full on, and the car
comes to a stop. Nancy, in her usual charming manner, says to the
chauffeur: 'You get out and check - you were driving.' The chauffeur gets
out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it was old.
'You were driving; go and tell the farmer,' says Nancy.
Two hours later, the chauffeur returns totally plastered, hair ruffled with
a big grin on his face.
'My God, what happened to you?' asks Nancy.
The chauffeur replies: 'When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle
of malt whisky, the wife gave me a slap-up meal and the daughter made love
to me.' 'What on earth did you say?' asks Nancy.
'I just knocked on the door and when it was answered, I said to them: 'I'm
Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Painting
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30813.htm
Can
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30812.htm
Booty call
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30814.htm
Pantie lock
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30815.htm
Amazon.com
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30816.htm
Show Girl
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30817.htm
Sperm Bank
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30818.htm
Big Daddy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30819.htm
Best Catch
http://www.buffaloschips.com/30820.htm
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BedBug Out - Don't Let the Bedbugs BiteReduce Bedbugs and other pests
in as soon as 2 weeks. Rid your home of pests, dust mites and bedbugs
quick and without harmful chemicals.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschips.com/bedbu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It seemed all was well for old Bill
For the night was romantic and still.
She was warm, she was waiting,
She was ripe for the mating
But alas--she was not on the pill.
An alluring but cranky au pair
Was arrested for lethal child care...
The kid was a pain
So she opened his vein,
But swears that he tripped on a stair.
A cannibal chef from Botswana
Said, "Oh it would be sheer Nirvana,
If only I could,
In full babyhood,
Saute an hors d'oeuvre from Montana."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fushigi - Magic Gravity Ball
Mesmerize the mind and confuse the senses. Fushigi is an incredible,
therapeutic form of relaxation. The art of maneuvering a clear, reflective
sphere through mind and body isolation and manipulation creates the illusion
that the sphere is moving on its own.
Everyone loves the art of Fushigi.
Learn More
http://buffaloschips.com/fushi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The latest Christmas toy has just hit the shops - a talking muslim doll.
Nobody knows what the heck it says cause no one has got the balls to pull
the cord.
Kent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indoor Potty Pad
Prevent pet accidents in your home with Pet Zoom Pet Park. It's made
of a synthetic grass like surface that prevents stains and rinses
clean in seconds. Unlike dripping newspapers and expensive wee wee
pads, Pet Zoom Pet Park's reusable surface stays fresh and sanitary.
Use it for training puppies to special needs dogs to long days at
the office.
Protect your upholstery and flooring with Pet Zoom Pet Park.
View Website
http://buffaloschips.com/potty
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1932
Sandi, The Marvelous One
BJ is resting after a long day at work in his recliner.
Sandi is sitting up in front of his recliner as if to say 'I have
something for you.'
Sandi: Dad, look.
BJ: Okay let me see...ack a mouse. Is it dead?
Sandi: Hmm let me check.
Snap! Yes, it is now.
BJ: Let me throw it away.
Sandi: I thought you wanted these gone?
BJ: I do I paid for an exterminator to get rid of them.
Sandi: He got rid of most of them. Be right back.
A couple of minutes later.
Sandi: Dad?
BJ: Yes.
Sandi: Got another one.
The herd
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult
*********************************************
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing from this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
----------------------------------------------------------
No virus found in this incoming message.
Checked by AVG - www.avg.com
Version: 9.0.869 / Virus Database: 271.1.1/3249 - Release Date: 11/10/10
14:34:00
To unsubscribe send a blank e-mail to Buffalos-adult-jokes-unsubscribe@egroups.com
Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
No comments:
Post a Comment