Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
In two weeks is the beginning of winter by proclamation of our
city commission. That doesn't mean we will have a flake of snow
on the ground but we usually do. To make snow removal possible
parking is only allowed on one side of the street and and no parking
between 0300 and 0600. Fines have increased each year and
are either 25 or 50 dollars. I'm not sure because I stopped
parking on the street when it got to 12 dollars. So anyhow if you
visit my town, even though it isn't posted those empty spots are
not for visitors and will probably pay for the police dept. pay raises
next year.
Parking meters are another interesting concept during winter. When
we get a good storm the meters are either buried or impossible to
reach from the street or the sidewalk. It is hard to expect a person
to lay across a snow bank to reach the meter but if you don't and the
guy they have contracted to remove the snow on the sidewalks comes
through and clears the sidewalk side of the meter, you can bet that
is the time the Parking Enforcement Officer will show up and write
you a ticket.
Last but not least is keeping the paths shoveled for the postman. I
admit winter is rough on them and no one wants to see them get
injured trying to deliver the bills, but if they are going to trudge through
the snow to give you a notice that your mail wasn't delivered because
of snow couldn't they deliver your mail at the same time.
Just a few of the less fuzzy thoughts of winter for you and with any luck
it will be all gone in four or five months.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
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Sword Chips
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"Merlin, Inc. technical support. How can I help you?"
"Yesterday I've bought your sword..."
"Congratulations, sir, you've made the right choice!"
"It doesn't work."
"What does it mean - doesn't work?"
"It doesn't cut the dragon's head."
"Have you read the manual, sir?"
"A noble knight have not to know how to read! But my armour- bearer
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"Well, sir. Have you taken the sword out of the sheath?"
"Yes."
"Is that really so? Check it again, please."
"I've done it, I say to you!" "
Okay, sir. Now check the edge sharpness."
"Ough!"
"You shouldn't do it with your finger, sir."
"What thinger? I've done it with my phongue! I always check a sharp
flavour of my dishes like that."
"You see, sir, a sword has a bit different construction than your
dinner dishes. The term 'sharp' means here..."
"I'm not obliged to know you technical terms! I'm a user, not a
hardware specialist. You'd better answer why doesn't it work!"
"Did it work before?"
"I don't know, I've bought it only yesterday!" "Okay, sir. Have you
done anything with it?"
"No!"
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I only took it out of the sheath."
"Did you try to grind it yourself?"
"What for?"
"You know better, sir. Maybe you tried to install new spells on it?"
"No, I use the default ones, which are supplied with the sword!"
"Maybe it's the spoiling, sir? How long ago have you updated your
holy water?"
"I've downloaded the fresh version only two days ago!"
"I see, sir. Then look if there are unscreened sources of black
magic nearby. They may create hindrances for the sword."
"What sources?! I'm in the desert!"
"Don't be so nervous, sir."
"I'm not nervous!"
"Then why do you pant?"
"Because the dragon is chasing me!"
"Oh, so the dragon is near you?"
"Yes, genius, he is already QUITE near!"
"Excellent, sir! Give him the receiver."
"And what if he bites my arm off?"
"Sorry, sir, but medical issues are beyond our competence."
"Next time I'll buy a sword of Morgana, Ltd.!"
"Well... okay, sir. Describe at least how the dragon looks."
"Well, he is such... yellow... with a red moustache..."
"It's clear now. You should begin with it. It's a non-licensed
dragon, a Chinese counterfeit."
"And?"
"Read the license agreement, sir. Merlin, Inc. doesn't guarantee any
compatibility with non-certified devices."
"And what shall I do?"
"Don't use cheap no-name dragons anymore, sir."
"Looks like HE is going to use me right now! Aaagh! No!
Aaaaarrrgghhh!!!!..."
"Sir? Sir, are you okay?... Well, in any case, Merlin, Inc. thanks
you for your business."
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Men Chips
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* The world according to men Every blowjob you give, adds one month to your
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If you swallow, the protein ingested is equivalent to five porterhouse
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A handjob a day keeps arthritis away.
Every ten minutes of dry humping is equivalent to ten minutes on the
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Doing it doggie-style will erase crow's feet and wrinkles.
Intercourse prevents divorce.
Regular screwing releases Vitamin F, which increases the number of brain
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Sex eliminates headaches.
Obeying the Eleventh Commandment, "Thou shalt make thy man hard", triples
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Short Chips
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Two prisoners were having a chat. The first one said. "I've got two
tickets for the warden's ball, Do you want to buy one?" "No thanks,"
said the second guy. "I can't dance." "It's not a dance," said the first
prisoner. "It's a raffle!"
A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn't have the greatest
relationship. "You know, I was with another woman last night, but I was
still thinking of you."
"Why, because you miss me?"
"No, because it keeps me from cumming too fast."
The courtroom was pregnant with anxious silence as the judge solemnly
considered his verdict in the paternity suit before him.
Suddenly, he reached into the folds of his robe, drew out a cigar, and
ceremoniously handed it to the defendant. "Congratulations," he said. "You
have just become a father."
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Wedding Chips
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Wedding Telegrams..................
The Bureau of Meteorology forcasts rainstorms so the bride can expect a few
good inches overnight.
Love is a thousand miles long but comes in six inch instalments.
"The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to
prove it."
Confucious say man who sink into womans arms soon have arms in womans sink.
Sorry I cannot be at Wedding... Please send me a photo of Bride and Groom
Mounted.
Easy on the throttle, steady on the gears, roll her over gently and She'll
last for many years.
Dont keep him in the dog house too often or he might give his bone to the
woman next door.
Treat him like a flower... grab him by the stalk.
If you don't want the Stork to come, Shoot in the air.
Go for it mate. We all did!
All the best from Mr and Mrs Farkin and all the Farkin kids.
She offered her honour, He honoured her offer, and all night he was on her
and off her.
Don't Spring on the Inner-Spring this Spring or there will be an Off-Spring
next Spring.
Hope your honeymoon is like a train ride through the Khyber Pass, One long
hard route.
Please remember that Brandy makes you Randy, Whisky makes you Frisky, but
its a good stiff Johnny Walker that makes you Pregnant.
Travel Agency to Bride:
The grooms face leaves at midnight. Be on it.
Congratulations on the termination of your isolation and may I express an
appreciation of your determination to end the desperation and frustration
which has caused you so much consternation in giving you the inspiration to
make a combination to bring an accumulation to the population.
Football coach to bride:
If you've tried him in 18 positions and he's still no good, pull him off.
Treat the Bride like a new car, go easy for the first 500.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Right or Wrong Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The RIGHT (R) and WRONG (W) things to say to a man after sex:
R: You're the one
W: Next.
R: You really know how to satisfy a woman.
W: What the hell was that? Do you have to catch a plane?
R: You're the best I've ever had.
W: You're almost as good as my cousin Earl.
R: What color are your eyes?
W: Is my discharge still brown?
R: You make me forget my problems.
W: You make me forget I'm just 15.
R: I think we should go away for the weekend.
W: I think we should go to the clinic.
R: I love you.
W: I love you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
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Centrum Silver
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Chicks Playing Pool
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Chokes On You
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Christmas Songs The O.J. Way
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Church
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Dad Blanket
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Cleveland
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Close a Bag without using a baggie tie
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Dean martin & George Gobel
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Honeymoon Chips
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The wedding date was set and the groom's three
pals - a carpenter, an electrician and a dentist were
deciding what pranks to play on the couple on their
wedding night.
The carpenter figured sawing the slats of their bed
would give them a chuckle or two.
The electrician decided to wire the bed - with
alternating current, of course.
The dentist wouldn't commit himself, but wore a sly
grin and promised it would be memorable.
The nuptials went as planned and a few days later,
each of the grooms buddies received the following
note:
"DEAR FRIENDS, WE DIDN'T MIND THE BED SLATS
BEING SAWED. THE ELECTRIC SHOCK WAS ONLY
A MINOR SETBACK. BUT I SWEAR BY GOD ALMIGHTY,
I'M GOING TO KILL WHOEVER PUT NOVOCAIN IN
THE K-Y JELLY!"
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Toon Chips
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Goldielocks
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Fizzy Piss
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Wonder Bra
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Mustache Ride
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Pussy Six Pack
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Six Shots
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Limerick Chips
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At the orgy, I humped twenty-two.
I was bushed before I was through.
Though a whole night of sexing
Is boring and vexing,
At an orgy, what else can you do?
______________________________________
Little Willie Winkle with a thirst for gore
stapled his sister to the door,
"Now Williem" his mother
said with humor quaint,
"Don't do that, you'll scratch the paint"
______________________________________
A peach is a peach A plum is a plum
A kiss isn't a kiss without some tongue
So open your mouth
Close your eyes and
Give your exercise your tongue!
Yer Hillbilly friend in TN...
Ross
PROUD father of an American Soldier
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
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Young woman: "Where are we going?"
Young Pauly (driving): "Oh, just a drive in the country."
Young woman: "Will you stop the car in the middle
of nowhere, and then put your hand up my skirt,
kiss me, and finally have sex with me?"
Young Pauly (virtuously): "Of course not!"
Young woman: "Then what are we going for?"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn Vol 1922
Sandi's Determination
As BJ gets ready for work in the morning, one of his tasks is to take the
dogs to the dog run. BJ: Come on guys you have the best dog food money can
buy, the water is full, plus each of you have a can of dog food.
Sandi: Let's hear it for daddy!
Katie: Hip hip horray for father!
BJ closes the gate as the two start eating the canned dog food. BJ heads
towards the front of the house. As he gets there, Sandi is waiting for him.
BJ: How did..? What the? The fence is six feet tall, the gate is locked, the
bottom of the fence is sealed all the way around.
Sandi just grins.: Love you Daddy.
The herd
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Adult Adult
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Remember 9/11/01
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