THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain
Take advantage of this unique offer and indulge
yourself with a FREE Google G2 Phone!
http://tinyurl.com/n9ut8b
____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Renault & Ford are working together to build
a small car. They are
using the Renault Clio & the Ford Taurus
as a basis for the new zippy
little car, The Clitaurus.
The car comes in pink, with or without fur on the dash.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
letting go
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j030.html
giggle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j031.html
oh look
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j032.html
blow ups
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j033.html
balloons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j034.html
more blow ups
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j035.html
marital aids
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j036.html
out for dinner
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j037.html
go back to sleep
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j038.html
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LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
sponge Bob square butt Burger king
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5800.html
the proper way to listen to classical music
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5801.html
why naked men should not parachute
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5802.html
choose your underwear wisely
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5803.html
never smash a can of wd40
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5804.html
A man is sitting in a bar far from home when Barack Obama comes on TV.
The man looks at the TV and says, "Obama is a horse's ass."
Out of nowhere, a local jumps up and punches him in the face,
knocking the first guy off his bar stool, then stomps out.
He gets up, rubbing his cheek and orders another beer.
Shortly after, Michelle Obama appears on the TV. He looks at
the TV and says, "She is a horse's ass too!"
Out of nowhere, another local punches him on the other side of the
face, knocking him off his bar stool again.
He gets back up and looks at the bartender, "I take it this is
Obama Country?" "Nope." replies the bartender. "Horse country."
_______________
Three guys enter a disabled swimming contest.
The first has no arms.
The second no legs and the third has no body,
just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and
"splash" they're all in the pool The guy with no arms
takes the lead instantly but the guy with no legs is closing fast.
The head of course sank straight to the bottom.
Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first.
He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool,
so he decides he had better dive down to rescue him.
He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and
places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the
head starts coughing and spluttering.
Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts...
"Three years I've spent learning to swim with my fucking ears,
then two minutes before the whistle,
some asshole puts a swimming cap on me!"
_____________
Dan was attending his 4X4 club's monthly meeting and
had just told them he couldn't make the upcoming camping
trip because his wife wouldn't let him go. After listening
to the jeers and other derisive remarks from his fellow
4X4 friends Dan left to go back home to his wife.
When Dan's friends started arriving to set up camp the
following day who should be there but Dan sitting up in
front of his truck, tent up, fishing rod in hand, camp
oven roast stewing away in a hot bed of coals.
"How did ya talk your wife into letting you go Dan?"
"I didn't have to" was Dan's reply. "When I left the meeting
I went home and slumped down in my chair with a beer
to drown my sorrows. Then my wife snuck up behind me
and covered my eyes and said, surprise..!!
When I peeled her hands back she was standing there in a
beautiful see through negligee and she said, "Carry me
into the bedroom, tie me to the bed and you can do
whatever you want....."
So Here I am....!
________________
A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class
She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather
the building materials for his home. She read .. 'and so the pig went up
to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir,
but may I have some of that straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think the man
said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ....'I
think the man would have said - 'Well, f * c ! k me!! A talking pig!'
_________
It's about 10 p.m. on a Wednesday night, and a guy sitting at a bar
finishes his drink and is about ready to go home.
Before he gets a chance to walk out, the bartender says to him,
"Hey buddy," why're ya goin' home so soon? I usually see you
here until past midnight. Something wrong tonight?"
The guy responds,
"No ain't nothin' wrong, just gotta sore butt from sittin' on this
bar stool for so long."
"Buddy, I got just the thing for ya," says the bartender as he's
reaching up to the top shelf behind the bar.
He pulls down a bottle of pills, opens the bottle up,
and hands the guy two white pills.
The guy looks at the pills in his hand and says,
"What're these, aspirin?"
"Nooo," says the bartender..... "stool softener."
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
Alan King Survived By
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kaslslk.htm
Don't Look Away When I'm Talking To You
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sjakka.htm
Durex Funny Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sajkasjask.htm
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SYDESJOKES LIST
Send A Letter
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001711.html
Crewman Sucked Into Jet Engine
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001712.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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