THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Just a couple quick comments about thermoses and lifetime
warranties...
You might remember my story of the other day. Anyways,
as a tip, maybe you did not know... Before you fill up
your thermos with Joe, whether it is a Stanley thermos or
not, first fill it with boiling water and let it sit for a
while, then put your coffee in ...
it will stay hot longer that way. Same with
your cooler. Put the cooler in your freezer overnight before
using it. When you take it out, it will keep your stuff colder
for longer.
There are a couple other items that the readers suggest that
have a great life time warranty...Buck knives and Craftsman
tools are a couple, in case you are interested. and finally,
I always wondered about that so called "lifetime" warranty
that Midas offers on their muffler. I've never done
business with them, I don't know. Notice how they never really
explain that one?
When they say life time, do they mean the
lifetime of your car?
Lifetime of you?
or just lifetime of the muffler?
They never really say. Just how long is a lifetime, anyway?
Pretty scary to think that a muffler
could last longer than you, eh?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
______________
THE COMICS
if you don't eat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l010.html
does she or doesn't she
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l011.html
top gun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l012.html
arrested
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l013.html
slowing down with age
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l014.html
statistics show
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l015.html
madness
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l016.html
low fat
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l017.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Jerry Springer
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5864.html
redneck pocket pussy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5865.html
sex with Bea
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5866.html
57 chevy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5867.html
last space in the car park
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5868.html
speed
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5869.html
Once upon a time, there was a wealthy old miner who was
traveling across the plains with his trusty mule of many
years. All of a sudden the mule fell over dead. The old man
buried his old friend and put up a cross as a grave marker.
He wrote on the cross, "My Ass." Then he continued on his
journey.
Years later a town grew nearby the grave. The road into
town went right by the marker, so the town adopted the name
out of respect for the dead mule. It had become somewhat of
a historical site.
Then one day a traveling salesman who was lost wondered
into the old desert town, but didn't notice the marker. He
saw a man on the street and stopped to get directions. The
salesman asked, "Could you please tell me where I am?"
"Sure," replied the old man. "You're right on the edge of
My Ass."
The salesman was puzzled by what the man said, so he decided
to ask someone else. He thanked the man and continued to
what appeared to be the downtown area.
He saw another man walking down the street. He asked,
"Please sir, could you tell me where I am, I seem to be
lost?"
The old man promptly replied, "No problem young fella.
You're right smack dab in the middle of My Ass!"
At this point the salesman decided that everyone in the
little town was crazy and decided to leave. On the way out
of town he spotted a seafood restaurant. He had become
quite hungry, so he decided to get something to eat before
traveling on to the next town.
The waitress walked over and asked, "What'll you have
stranger?" The man replied, "I think I'll have the crab platter."
The waitress replied, "I'm sorry sir, we're all out of
crabs. My husband looked all over My Ass last night and
didn't find but two...and we ate them."
______________
A woman in a grocery store happens upon a grandfather
and his poorly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious
to her that Gramps has his hands full with the child
screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the
cookie aisle; same for fruit, cereal and soda in their
respective aisles. Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way
around, saying in a controlled voice, "Easy, Albert,
we won't be long -- easy, boy." Another outburst,
and she hears Gramps calmly say, "It's okay, Albert,
just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here.
Hang in there, boy." At the checkout, the little terror
is throwing items out of the cart, and Gramps again in a
controlled voice is says, "Albert, Albert, relax buddy,
don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, Albert."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where Gramps is
loading his groceries and the boy into the car.
"You know, sir, it's none of my business, but you were
amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole
time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and
disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things
would be okay. Albert is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks, lady," said Gramps, "But, I'm Albert --
the little shithead's name is Steve!"
____________
Three horny Mosquitoes named Mike, John & Chuck were
hanging out on a tree, checking out the fine female
lightning bugs fly by. They were talking about who
could screw the hottest lightning bug.
Mike sees a bright light fly by and land, he flies over
and screws it.He flies back to tell his buddies that she
was really hot. John sees an even brighter light fly by
and land, he flies over and screws it. Flies back and tell
his buddies she was hotter than Mike's lightning bug.
Chuck sees a bright red light fly by and land, he flies over
pulls his penis out pokes the light and screams, comes back
and both of his buddies were happy for Chuck, but Chuck doesn't look happy. Mike asks "What's wrong, did she slap you?"
Chuck says "No" John asks "Did she kick you?"
Chuck says "No, I think she was a cigarette".
_______________
Little Johnny and his grandmother were shopping in a department store.
Little Johnny wanted to go to the toy department, but grandmother
said that they had to stop in the ladies clothing department first.
Little Johnny obviously couldn't wait that long, and the next time
his grandmother turned around he was gone.
She panicked and looked everywhere for him, but he had disappeared.
Finally she went to the customer service desk, intending to have them
announce his name over the PA system.
To her relief he was already there waiting for her.
The woman at the desk said, "He wanted us to announce your name over
the PA system, but he didn't' know what your name was. We asked him
what his daddy called you, and he replied 'mom', next we asked him
what Grandpa called you and he replied 'sugar'. We were almost out
of questions for him when another lady suggested that your
daughter-in-law might call you by your first name."
"We were so happy to see you show up at the desk," she continued,
"because when we asked him what his mommy called you, we were out of ideas!"
"Well," asked Little Johnny's grandmother curiously, "What did he say?"
"He said," she replied, "that his mother called you 'A BITCH'!"
______________
Three hookers are comparing notes about their customers
From the night before.
"I entertained a cowboy last night", says the first.
"How did you know he was a cowboy?" asks the second.
"Well, he wore a cowboy hat, cowboy boots, and kept both
The hat and the boots on all the time we were together."
"Sounds like a cowboy, all right." the others say.
"I entertained a lawyer," announces the second. "I could
Tell because he wore a three piece suit and packed a briefcase.
He wore the vest of the suit and hung on to the briefcase all
The time."They agree he sounded like a lawyer.
"I had a farmer for a client," comments the third.
"How could you possibly know he was a farmer?" she is asked.
"Well first he complained it was too dry, then he whined it was
Too wet, then he asked if he could pay me in the fall."
______________
My girlfriend and I were making love last night when she
looked up at me and said "Make love to me like in the movies".
So I turned her over on all fours, stuck it in her ass, pulled out,
flipped her back over and came all over her face and hair.
Man was she upset; I guess we don't watch the same movies.
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Puzzle Park
http://tinyurl.com/l3fr5b
Shooting Range
http://tinyurl.com/mjdtw9
Armed Invasion Game
http://tinyurl.com/btoa68
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
Scottish Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/akdjsi.htm
Sexy Kapper
http://www.buffaloschips.com/aweq.htm
Showing Her Boobs On A Catwalk
http://www.buffaloschips.com/dsewas.htm
Sling Shot
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdsw.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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