THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill,
we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship,
support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the
survival and success of liberty."
John Kennedy
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!!
In the United States, Independence Day, commonly known
as the Fourth of July, is a federal holiday commemorating the
adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776,
declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain.
Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades,
barbecues, carnivals, fairs, picnics, concerts, baseball games,
political speeches and ceremonies, and various other public
and private events celebrating the history, government, and
traditions of the United States. Independence Day is the
national day of the United States.
One of the most enduring myths about Independence Day is that
Congress signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776.
The myth had become so firmly established that, decades after the
event and nearing the end of their lives, even the elderly Thomas
Jefferson and John Adams had come to believe that they and the
other delegates had signed the Declaration on the fourth.
Most delegates actually signed the Declaration on August 2, 1776.
In a remarkable series of coincidences, both John Adams and
Thomas Jefferson, two founding fathers of the United States and
the only two men who signed the Declaration of Independence to
become president, died on the same day.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
___________
THE COMICS
Whoops
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j060.html
stiff
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j061.html
a booster shot
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j062.html
swine flu
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j063.html
tips
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j064.html
global warming
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j065.html
gimme a break
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j066.html
what state
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/j067.html
_______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Fourth of July fireworks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5821.html
The Muppets Fourth of July
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5822.html
born on the Fourth of July
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5823.html
surprise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5817.html
breast education
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5818.html
at the museum
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5819.html
Miller's
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5820.html
A young blonde, having just returned from a great
week-long vacation in South America, walked into
the local bank and asked about exchanging currency.
The teller said he would try to help her.
After she plopped a huge wad of bills onto the counter,
the teller then counted it, made a phone call,
and returned to count out $27.18.The wide-eyed woman gasped.
"You mean to tell me that's all I get for that mountain of bills?"
"I'm afraid so Miss," replied the teller, "That's the current
rate of exchange according to our foreign exchange section."
"Good Grief!" she hissed, "and I gave that cheap skunk breakfast, too!"
_________________
Little Johnny's teacher noticed that he was sporting a
black eye. She asked him what happened, and he replied,
"Ma'am, you remember I told you how I sleep on the floor
next to my parent's bed? Well, last night, my dad asked
me if I was still awake, I said yes and then he punched
me in the face."
"Ok, Johnny", the teacher said, trying to help, " the
next time your dad asks you if you're still awake, don't
answer, just lay still and pretend to be asleep."
All went well, until a few weeks later, Little Johnny
came to class with another black eye. The teacher asked
him why he didn't follow her advice.
Johnny explained, "Ma'am, I tried to, when dad asked me
if I was awake, I kept quiet and lay really still, and
pretended to be asleep, but then Dad said 'I'm coming',
and Mom said 'I'm coming too', and I didn't want them to
go anywhere without me, so I shouted, 'Let me just put
on my slippers, I'm coming too' and that's when I got
punched in the face."
____________
Bob's sister was one of the most popular girls in Man-
hattan. She had more boyfriends then she knew what to do
with and she never wanted for a thing. Bob was always in
debt and constantly asking his sister for spending money.
"I don't understand you, Bob," she said in obvious anno-
yance one afternoon when he tried to put the bite on her
for a 10 spot. "I don't have any trouble saving money,
so why should you?"
"Sure, sure," he said, "But you've got money coming in
all the time from the very thing that's keeping me broke."
_____________
Of Course I Love Ya Darling You're A Bloody Top Notch Bird
And When I Say You're Gorgeous I Mean Every Single Word
So Ya Bum Is On The Big Side I Dont Mind A Bit Of Flab
It Means That When I'm Ready There's Somethin' There To Grab
So Your Belly Isn't Flat No More I Tell Ya, I Don't Care
So Long As When I Cuddle Ya I Can Get My Arms Round There
No Sheila Who Is Your Age Has Nice Round Perky Breasts
They Just Gave Into Gravity But I Know Ya Did Ya Best
I'm Tellin Ya The Truth Now I Never Tell Ya Lies
I Think It's Very Sexy That You've Got Dimples On Ya Thighs
I Swear Upon Me Nannas Grave The Moment That We Met
I Thought U Was As Good As I Was Ever Gonna Get
No Matter Wot U Look Like I'll Always Love Ya Dear
Now Shut Up While The Footys On And Get Me Bloody Beer!
______________
A woman gets on a city bus. She looks at the driver and holds
up one hand; the driver holds up two hands.
Next, the woman points up; the driver points down. Then,
the woman grabs her breast; the driver grabs his crotch.
Finally, the woman grabs her butt and gets off the bus.
A curious passenger asked the bus driver what the odd
motions were all about. The driver explained,
'The woman is a deaf-mute. She asked me if a bus ride is
five cents, and I told her it was ten cents. Next, she
asked if the bus was going uptown, and I told her it was
going downtown. Then, she asked if the bus was going past
the dairy, and I told her it was going past the ballpark...'
The passenger interjected, 'Okay, but why did she grab
her butt as she left the bus?'
The driver continued, 'She replied, 'Oh shit, I'm on the wrong bus!
_____________
One evening, while sharing a few drinks at the bar, one
of the ladies suggests, "Let's name our Leroys after a
soda pop, because I'm tired of getting my Leroy mixed up
with your Leroy, and her Leroy mixed up with your Leroy."
The other two ladies agree.
The first lady speaks out, "Okay then, I'm gonna name my
Leroy 7-Up because he has 7 inches and it's always up!"
The three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other high fives.
Then, the second lady says, "I'm gonna name my Leroy
Mountain Dew because he can mount and do me any day of the week."
Again, the three ladies hoot and holler, and slap each other more high fives.
The third lady then says, "You know, those two Leroys were
good,but I'm gonna name my Leroy, Jack Daniels."
The other two ladies shout in unison, "Jack Daniels? That's
not a soda pop... that's a hard liquor!"
The third lady bursts out, "That's my Leroy!"
BUFFALO Bill
How A Real Man Takes Off His Underwear
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kjhjkh.htm
How Mens Underwear Should Be Advertised
http://www.buffaloschips.com/hjhk.htm
How To Get Rid Of A One Night Stand
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhjkhjk.htm
SYDESJOKES LIST
Sex Toys
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001715.html
Examination Tricks
http://www.sydesjokes.com/link2/link001716.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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