Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Thanks to Karen for pointing out to me that Priority Mail
anticipates
delivery of a package within 2-3 days but it is not guaranteed. From
my days of ordering spare parts for my machinery I have seen
delays from every parcel service. Sometimes it is something minor
like
a fogged in airport and other times something sinister like the
attack
on the WTC that disrupts the flow of packages but they are still
acts
of God and totally beyond our control at this level so we joke and
sometimes we rant and we feel a little better. Laughing is cheaper
than drinking and doesn't cause a hangover.
On the subject of feeling better, Nancy woke up yesterday morning
with
her neck and arms all covered with hives. We suspect that while
transferring the flowers from the church to the reception, she ran
into something that caused an allergic reaction. When I left
yesterday
she was headed for bed after eating a few Benadryl, so it may be
a few days before she is feeling good enough to do Nerdy.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clinton Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Then there's the after life of Pope John Paul II known for his
veneration of the Virgin Mary, and Bill Clinton also known for his
veneration of the female anatomy.
After John Paul II dies, he goes to hell. This is a major shock.
John Paul II complains. It's all a mistake. They take his
complaint to the head honcho supervisor in hell, Satan himself.
Satan is very amused. Satan sends word back that he's busy, but
when he has time, he'll check to see if there's a mistake.
Satan sends two demons up to St. Peter, and they ask if there's
been any mix up. St. Peter checks, and sure enough, Bill Clinton
has been waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Bill has been getting
a little too friendly with some of the women in line.
St. Peter sends Bill back down to Satan. Satan sends John Paul up.
For a few seconds they pass by each other.
Bill says, "Sorry about the mix-up, John Paul."
John Paul says "that's OK, but I really was disappointed that I
haven't gotten a chance to meet the Virgin Mary yet."
As Bill puts his cigar away he says, "Uh-oh. You're a few minutes
too late for that,"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Candy From Strangers
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Cantankerous Old Fart
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that's sick!
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piercing
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snake
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Court Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear
for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he
waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard.
When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before
the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the day
and he would have to return the following day.
"What for?" he snapped at the judge.
His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared,
"Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's why!"
Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented.
"That's all right. You don't have to pay now."
The young man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two
more words."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Stay Hard Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sidney has a problem with premature ejaculation, so he pays a visit
to a
sex shop for a remedy.
The clerk hands him a little purple can and says, "This is Stay-Hard
spray... put on a little and you can go all night!"
Excited, Sidney takes it home, stashes it in the cellar on a shelf,
and
waits eagerly for bedtime.
Later that night, he sprays some on his member and then goes
upstairs
to
his wife. To his utter disappointment, however, the remedy seems to
make
him orgasm quicker than ever.
The next day, Sidney returns to the sex shop, angrily slammed the
can
down on the counter, and snaps, "This stuff makes me worse than
before!"
Upon reading the label, the clerk asks, "I don't suppose your hid
this
stuff on your basement shelf, did you?"
"Yeah, so?"
"You must have grabbed the wrong can, sir... this is Easy-Off."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Voodoo Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A business man was getting ready to go on a long
business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort with an
extremely healthy sex drive, so he thought he'd buy her a little
something to keep her occupied while he was gone.
He went to a store that sold sex toys and started
looking around. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for
something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old
man
behind the counter. He explained his situation.
The old man said, "Well, We have vibrating dildos,
special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that
will
keep her occupied for weeks, except---" and he stopped.
"Except what?" the man asked.
"Nothing, nothing."
"C'mon, tell me! I need something!"
"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there
is The Voodoo Penis."
"So what's up with this Voodoo Penis?" he asked.
The old man reached under the counter, and pulled
out a very old wooden box, carved with strange symbols and erotic
images. He opened it, and there lay an ordinary-looking dildo. The
businessman laughed,
and said "Big damn deal. It looks like every other dildo in this
shop!"
The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what
it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo Penis, the
door."
The Voodoo Penis miraculously rose out of its box,
darted over to the door, and started pounding the keyhole. The whole
door shook wildly with the
vibrations, so much so that a crack began to form
down the middle.
Before the door split, the old man said "Voodoo
Penis, return to box!"
The Voodoo Penis stopped, levitated back to the box
and lay there quiet once more.
"I'll take it!" said the businessman.
The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a
special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo
Penis, my crotch."
After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was
unbearably horny and remembered the Voodoo Penis. She undressed,
opened
the box and said "Voodoo
Penis, my crotch!" The Voodoo Penis shot to her
crotch and started pumping.
It was absolutely incredible, like nothing she'd ever
experienced before. After three mind-shattering orgasms, she became
very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it
out,
but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get
it
out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how
to
shut it off.
Worried, she decided to go to the hospital to see if
they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started
to
drive, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another
incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A
police
officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her
license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.
Gasping and twitching, she explained, "I haven't had
anything to drink, officer. You see, I've got this Voodoo Penis
thing
stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me!"
The officer looked at her for a second, shook his
head and in an arrogant voice replied, "Yeah, right... Voodoo Penis,
my
ass."
The rest is history.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Redneck Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK CROSSDRESSER IF..."
- You go to family reunions to meet guys.
- You wear a dress that's strapless and a bra
that ain't.
- You wear combat boots with a minidress.
- You wear jeans with a belt buckle that's bigger
than your fist.
- You have a Ford F150 pick-up truck, with a gun
rack, a Dale Earnhardt license plate frame,
and a Confederate flag on the tailgate, next
to the bumper sticker that says "I sell Avon
Skin-So-Soft.
- You try to wax your legs with Turtle Wax.
- You braid the hair that sticks through your
fishnet stockings.
- You wear a black John Deere baseball cap with
pearls.
- You use glitter to highlight your mustache.
- You wear tube tops with your mini, because it
shows off your Harley-Davidson tattoo.
- Your favorite band ring came off a cigar.
- You keep spare ammo in your bra.
- You get a run in your stockings while changing
a tire on your motorhome.
- Your purse is a toolbox.
- You pluck your eyebrows with a pair of needle-
nosed pliers.
- You store your lipsticks in a socket-wrench box.
- You use duct tape to keep your "tuck" in place.
- You call your vanity "your work bench."
- You use a pocketknife to sharpen your lip and
eye liners.
- "Doing your nails" means sorting the ten-
pennies from the sixteen-pennies.
- Your favorite leather skirt was made from the
moose you shot last Fall.
- Your new sandals are made from truck tire
re-treads you found on the road.
- You keep a spare lipstick in your toolbox.
- You wear a pair of C-clamps as screw-on earrings.
- Your best silver necklace is made from beer can
pull-tabs.
- Your nail enamel is made by Rustoleum.
- You use paint thinner to remove your makeup.
- Your moisturizer says "non-detergent SAE 10W30"
on the container.
- You remove your leg hair with duct tape.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer 10 questions and your Death Date will be revealed
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently saw a condom machine in a toilet, which had a "Tested to
British Safety Standards" sign on it.
Underneath someone had scrawled: "So was the Titanic."
This guy goes to a whorehouse and says to the Madam,
"I want to get screwed."
The Madam tells him to go up to room #12 and knock on the door.
The guy walks up to the door, knocks on it, and says,
"I really want to get screwed, bad!"
A very sexy voice replies
"Just slide $20 under the door."
So the man slides the $20 under the door and waits...
Nothing Happens! He knocks on the door again, and yells out
"I want to get screwed!"
The sexy voice behind the door answers,
"Again?"
The blonde co-ed danced excitedly into her room clapping and
chanting,
"I won! I won! That guy is so stupid!"
Her room mate asked "What on Earth are you going on about?"
"Well," the blonde explained, "I just met this really stupid guy who
bet
me a dollar that if I touched my toes he could screw me without my
feeling a thing, and I won!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
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Subscribers and Friends
Melva/My Favorites
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CRUCIFY HIM
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Rick w/ The Rainbow Bridge (Loss Of A Beloved Pet)
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Surfin Surfari
Nuclear Reactors
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Matchstick Art!
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Carpool Community Via Wesley
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Frozen Bubble Via Wesley
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FLV Player
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Microsoft Technologies for Java
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Free Clipart Via Wesley
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Movie Clips
Cialis Commercial
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Cirugia
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Cock Piano
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Colo Rectal Program
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Banned Commercial
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Slimfast
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Deano
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Decoy
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Deep Tissue massage
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Deer Hunting With a Bird
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Deer Jumps Over Bike
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Political Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Dow Jones closed over nine thousand Thursday on news that
President Obama's health industry takeover had stalled. The Dow goes
up as the president's approval ratings fall. The day his birth
certificate shows up it'll close at fourteen thousand.
Ford Motors ignited a stock market rally Thursday by posting a two
billion dollar second quarter profit. They took no bailout money and
sold big, fast cars. If things keep going the way they are going for
President Obama, he might have to join a church.
- - Argus Hamilton
Yesterday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was in India, and
today there was a total eclipse of the sun. After hearing about it,
Bill Clinton said, "If there's one thing Hillary is good at, it's
making the light go out of your life."
Political experts are now saying that President Obama is giving so
many interviews and appearing on so many television shows that he's
starting to dilute his own message. Which is unfair because I
thought Obama was pretty convincing last night on "Ice Road
Truckers."
- - Conan O'Brien
- - Letterman
President Obama held another press conference earlier, pre-empting
all the major networks. He does this every week now - it's time for
Oprah to give him a show.
- - Jimmy Kimmel
Michelle Obama just got a new haircut. It's the first real cut of
the Obama administration.
Did you see Obama's press conference on healthcare last night? It
was very interesting. He said if a patient is choosing between a red
pill and a blue pill that both work, go with the cheaper pill. Obama
got that advice from his new surgeon general - Keanu Reeves.
In an interview in Thailand yesterday, Hillary Clinton said she was
asked if she still wanted to be president. Hillary said, nodding
yes, "No, no . . . that's not something I ever think about."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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View Website
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
click to enlarge
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climbing
http://www.buffalos
clintons new home
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clit art
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clitorox
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I once met a beautiful Persian
A shy one who needed coercion
So I gave her a smile
And she thought for a while
Then allowed me to make an insertion.
There was a young spaceman from Venus
Who had a prodigious penis
Cried his girlfriend alas
It just came out my ass
And there's still 15 inches between us.
There once was a girl called Heather
Whose fanny was lined with leather
She attracted the boys
By making a noise
Flapping the edges together!!
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A smile is a sign of joy.
A hug is a sign of love.
A laugh is a sign of happiness.
And a friend like me???
Shit, that's just a sign of good taste!!
PASS ME ON.
LOL.
Ray
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny had a first date lined up with a
woman he had been
after for quite a while. When she finally consented
to go out with
him, he wanted to plan the most romantic evening
he could.
He picked her up at her apartment, and then drove
out to the beach.
Little Johnny had prepared very carefully for
this date and brought
out a blanket for them to sit upon the sand and a
bottle of the
finest wine. The moonlight was shining down on
them and Little Johnny
poured his date some wine. He handed her the
glass, looked lovingly
in to her eyes and said,
"Now this is what I call romantic. The waves
crashing on the shore,
the moonlight in your eyes, a warm tropical
breeze, a bottle of
wine.....," he takes a sip of wine and says,
"Oh and by the way...do
you Spit or Swallow?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1652
Tired Feet
Katie: Father! I am sorry father.
Katie turns off the music and BJ falls down.
Thud!
BJ: Moan.
Rudy: Dude, how long have you been dancing?
BJ: How long Katie?
Katie: Gulp! About three hours.
Diana: Three hours, how could you forget Katherine?
Katie: Supper, the birds, the butterflies, ice cream, I just
forgot.
Sandi: My poor daddy, he is all broke.
BJ crawling towards the elevator.
Katie: I can get one of my Robo-Kate to...
Sandi/Rudy: NO!
BJ: If I walk again, if I dance again, these would be nice shoes to
dance with Katie. But I do not want to walk, dance for a while.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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