Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Family is starting to arrive from all over the country for the
funeral today but no one seems to know the answer to one
question that is bugging Nancy. What is the combination to the
safe? My dad had purchased a large floor safe to keep all of
the important documents in but it seems that no one knew
the combination except my mom. Fortunately the company
that made it is still in business but it will take awhile to get
the combination from them. Several family members have
already found out that safe cracking is not easy and Nancy
has had to stop them from using stronger methods to get into it.
Our guests will be staying in comfort while they are here. The
owner of the Ramada Ojibway Hotel offered fourteen rooms
to the family as my brother Don has been an employee since
it began its renovation in the eighties. The dinner after the
funeral
is being provided by the ladies of St. Francis Xavier Church
and Nancy's boss at the Cozy Inn with Nancy and my brother-in-law
Andy from Wisconsin cooking. It was the same at my dad's funeral
with the Sault Tribe catering much of the food for the meal after
the
funeral. It is great that even in the precarious economy we are in
today
that business owners are willing to help out their employees.
Enjoy the chips and once again thank you for your support.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Blonde Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young blonde was having problems with her first case of
hemorrhoids.
With all the burning, itching and swelling she didn't know what to
do.
She calls her older blonde friend and says, "I'm itching, burning
and
it's swollen - what can I do?"
The older blonde says, "You have hemorrhoids. I'll go down
to the pharmacy and get you some Preparation H; that will
take care of your swelling and itching. You just set
still."
After about an hour the young blonde was itching and
burning more and more.
The older blonde delivers the Preparation H and tells the
young blonde, "Take this and you will be better in about
an hour. I'll call and check up on you in a couple of
hours."
The young blonde, not reading the directions, rips open
the box and swallows the whole tube, thinking this is the
worst taste she has ever ran across her lips. She tries
to spit it out but has no luck.
The phone rings and she answers, "Ssssswwwellooooo.
It's the older blonde. She asks, "So, how are your hemorrhoids?
The young blonde replies, "They still itch and burn but I
can whistle better than ever before!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
a full exchange
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ah there you are
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imagination
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Call A Meeting
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Call Someone
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Camel Piss
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Skunk Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman had a pet skunk which was a devoted pet to her for years.
One
day the skunk died. The woman didn't know what to do at first, as
she
lived in an apartment and she had no place in the yard to bury her
pet.
So she decided to give the pet a proper burial out in the country.
She
didn't have a car, so she planned on taking a bus to the edge of
town,
then walking from there to some good site.
She got on the bus and sat down behind the driver. About this time,
the
skunk wasn't keeping too well, so the woman held the skunk at arm's
length. The driver noticed the smell right away, but he kept on
driving
for several blocks. He next opened the window, but that didn't help.
Finally, he pulled the bus to the curb, and turned around, and said:
"Will the woman with rhe stinking pussy please get off the bus?"
14 women got off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Top 10 Signs You're Not the Sexual Marvel You Once Were
10 These days, you get winded just turning down the blanket.
9 "Five times in one night" now means that your overactive
bladder syndrome is acting up again.
8 Bob Dole sends you an FTD "Sorry You're Flaccid" bouquet.
7 Then: "Where's Waldo?" played in bed with your pendulous babe;
Now: "Where's Waldo?" played in bathroom with your pendulous
stomach.
6 Your patented "Inverse Cowgirl" position now lands you in traction
for a week.
5 Then: She slipped gently into sleep after spending 30 minutes in a
post-orgasmic stupor.
Now: She says you're blocking her view of the TV.
4 It takes six Viagras just to play hard to get.
3 Your mother doesn't knock on the bathroom door and express her
concern nearly as often as she used to.
2 You can still make her eyes roll back in her head, but now it's
out
of annoyance.
1 Your come-on line to a cute, 16-year-old high school student with
tight jeans and an exposed belly? "GET OFF MY LAWN!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kilt Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Scottish couple was walking across the meadows. The girl looked
at
the guy and shyly asked, "Would you like to hold my hand?"
"Uh...well yes." the boy said, "But how did you know?"
She said, "By the gleam in your eye."
They walked a little further and the girl said, "Would you like to
kiss
me?"
"Oh, my yes!" replied the boy, "But how did you know?"
She said, "By the gleam in your eye."
As they got to the stream, they sat on a stump, the girl looked at
the
boy and asked, "Would you like to go all the way with me?"
"Well, oh, my gosh, yes! (gulp) Yes! But how did you know? By
the
gleam in my eye?"
"No," replied the girl, "by the TILT IN YOUR KILT."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer 10 questions and your Death Date will be revealed
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Singing Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The gig was just about ready to start when the band leader called
the
female
singer over and said:
"Listen, tonight we're going to begin the set with 'April in Paris',
but
I
want to do it a little differently. We'll start in the key of G for
the
first four bars, then modulate to B-flat for the next eight bars,
change
the
meter to 3/4 for six bars, then pick up the tempo to Allegro for
twelve
bars, then modulate to F-sharp for eight bars, change the meter back
to
4/4
and slow down to Rubato for four bars, play a tacet for four bars,
modulate
up to D-flat for eight bars..."
"HEY, HOLD ON!" the girl said. "I can't do stuff like that without
rehearsal!"
He said, "Why not? You've been doing it all fuckin' week long!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maury and Pauly were at the bar again, exchanging confidences after
their 6th beer: "You know," says Maury, " I been married 23 years,
and I'm still in love with the same woman I had my first sex with."
"'At's wonnerful," replies Pauly.
"Just don't say anything about it to my wife," continues Maury, "if
she ever found out about it, she'd kill me!"
To get acquainted with his new parish, the new Priest decided to
call
on a new parishioner every day until he got to know most of them.
One day he selected a young widow, whose husband, according to the
index card supplied him by the parish office, had died two years
ago.
After knocking at the door, he was greeted by a young lady with a
baby in her arms.
He said, "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong address, I was looking
for
the widow Smith."
"You've found her Father," smiled the lady.
"Well, according to the card here, it says your husband died over
two
years ago." he said glancing at the baby in her arms.
"That's correct Father," she replied. "He surely did. But I
didn't."
My son had just turned 15 when I finally decided to talk to him
about
sex. To ensure private time, I brought him on a ski trip and began
our talk on the chair lift so he couldn't escape. "Do you know about
girls and babies?" I asked. He nodded but cut me off.
The next ride up the ski lift, I brought it up again, only to have
him look away in silence.
On the third trip, already knowing I had waited too long, I bluntly
asked, "Son, would you like to talk about sex?"
"Gee, Dad," he responded, "is that all you ever think about?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/ Sondra
http://www.silveran
TACO BELL AD STAR GIDGET THE CHIHUAHUA DIES AT 15
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A LITTLE BLONDE HUMOR
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John w/ Cool Water ~Roy Rogers~
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Surfin Surfari
Spoon Museum
http://spoonplanet.
Stinging Jellyfish
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Drawing Lessons Via Wesley
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Peeps - Everybody's Favorite Via Wesley
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Shutdown problems
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FlashCard Database
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips
Walk It Out Granny
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Water Park Prank
http://www.buffalos
wdrb
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We Need This Here
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What Every Man Wants In Bed
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WHAT_HAPPENS_
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What The Hells That
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Why I Go To Weddings
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Why Buy Expensive Toys
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Why Girls Shouldn't Fire Handguns
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Why I Didn't Make The Olymics
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Why I Don't Fish
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Why I Was Never Late For School
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
lobster Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two lobsters were sunbathing on the beach. The girl lobster
suggested
that the boy lobster go get them an ice cream cone.
Having purchased two cones, Mr Lobster made his way back to the
beach, deciding on the way to eat his ice cream. By the time he had
finished the ice cream, he realized that his girlfriend's had
started
to melt all down his claw, so he licked it up and ended up eating it
too.
When he arrived back at the beach Ms Lobster exclaimed, "Where's my
ice cream cone?
"Well", he said. "I decided to eat mine, then yours melted so I ate
that too."
She was incensed and cried "You shellfish bastard!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
choke
http://www.buffalos
choke the chicken
http://www.buffalos
choking
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choking hazard
http://www.buffalos
christmas
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A sermon", thought Father O'Flynn,
"I should write 'bout The Evils Of Sin...
But my mind is a blank,
So I'll sit here and wank,
'Til some new inspirations begin."
His housekeeper, taken aback,
Cried, "Oh Father! It's sinful to wack!"
So she whipped off her scanties,
(Her bra and her panties)
And guided him into her crack.
"Lord Jesus!" cried Father O'Flynn,
"Inspiration at last to begin!"
As his housekeeper dribbled
He grabbed paper and scribbled
His sermon: 'The Pleasures Of Sin'.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The father watched through the window as his young
daughter made a snowman with a little friend.
Entertained by the sight, he went closer and heard
the little boy say:
"I've got an idea. To finish it off, I'll go to the
kitchen and find a carrot."
And his daughter replied, "Make it two. The second
can be his nose."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Scot and an American were talking about playing golf during the
various
seasons of the year.
"In most parts of the U.S. we cannot play in the winter time. We
have to
wait until spring," the Yank said.
"Why, in Scotland we can even play in the winter time. Snow and cold
are no
object to us!" exulted the Scot.
"Well, what do you do... paint your balls black?" asked the
American.
"No, nothing that drastic," said the Scotsman. "We just put on an
extra
sweater or two."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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