THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
"Whenever you want to marry someone,
go have lunch with his ex-wife."
~Shelley Winters
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your hands. It transmits quality sound through
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and you're ready to start talking.
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http://tinyurl.com/kumnmk
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
A soft summer rain falls steadily this morning here in
West Michigan. No motorcycle rides today.
That's ok. I think I am going to head over
to a good coffee house with my book. Or maybe
to the Shawmutt Inn, which is a great local place
where you can get a 12 inch long wet burrito on
Wednesdays, for only a few dollars. I have been reading
up a storm lately. The current book I am working
on is a Lisa Gardner novel, "Say goodbye."
which is a real page turner.
The war department made me a bannana cream pie the
other day. Imagine that. Albeit she used sugar free
pudding, it tastes marvelous. Life doesn't get any
better. I wonder what's up with that? Certainly
its not on the "approved diet." Maybe she is
getting a little more considerate that a little bling
bling in life is a good thing, eh? Ahh the simple
pleasures in life. go figger.
Hope you all have a great afternoon!
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
that was close
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l030.html
trouble in paradise
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l031.html
blow em out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l032.html
don't deny it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l033.html
he's out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l034.html
pervert
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l035.html
thank God for spell check
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l036.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
the dog says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5876.html
at the snake exhibit
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5877.html
At Disneyland
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5878.html
motor oil
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5879.html
seat belts can save lives
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5880.html
too much power
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5881.html
Morris had just had coronary artery bypass surgery a
month ago and now is at the doctor's office for his
final follow up visit. Of course Morris wants to know
when he can start having sex again.
The doctor explains to Morris that he would be able to
resume his sex life as soon as he could climb two
flights of stairs without becoming winded.
Morris listens attentively and then says, "What if I
look for the women who live on the ground floor?"
_____________
The foreman at the lumberyard needed a replacement for an employee
who just quit; and while he wasn't eager to hire the blind man
(because of the obvious risks involved), the blind man begged for
the chance. "You'll see," he said. "Just put me in front of a pile
of lumber. I sniff the lumber and know what type it is --
I will stack it accordingly." So the foreman agreed to give it a shot.
Positioning the blind man in front of a stack of wood, he asked what
type it was. Ahhhhhhhhhh..." said the blind man, taking a deep breath.
"Pine, twelve-foot," and stacked it in place.
The foreman was surprised and repeated the test with oak and redwood,
fir and mahogany, but the blind man didn't miss once. Then, getting
a sly look on his face, the foreman called up to the office secretary.
"There's a blind man applying for a job and I don't want to hire him.
He says he can tell what kind of wood we have just by sniffing it.
I want to confuse him.. come back here, take off all your clothes
and lay on top of that pile of wood."
The secretary stripped naked and draped herself across the wood.
Sniffing furiously, the blind man then looked puzzled. "Gee, I don't
believe I've ever smelled wood like that before... let me take another sniff."
He went closer and sniffed the wood again. "DAMN, I have no idea
what that is... can you turn it over?" The secretary turned over.
The blind man went near the pile of wood and took another deep sniff.
"Well?" the foreman asked. "What kind of wood is THAT?"
"Hmmm..." said the blind man, "I'm not sure, but near as I can tell,
it's the shit house door off a tuna boat."
____________
A man in his eighties goes to the rodeo and enjoys all the
bull riding and other acts. During the interval they bring out
an unrideable stallion and announce that if anyone in the audience
can ride it and stay on for more than a minute they will win $1,000.
There is a rush of young men who try in turn to ride the bronco but it
throws them off in seconds. The old man makes his way slowly to the
arena and asks if he can have a go. Don't you think you are a bit
old for this said the wrangler. No said the old man give me a chance.
So they helped him up and let the stallion go......The stallion went
mad bucking and jumping with all four legs off the ground but the
old man held on and after about five minutes the horse was completely
broken in and trotting around the arena with the old man smiling and
waving to the crowd. Thats the most amazing piece of riding I have
ever seen said the wrangler that bronco has been wild for years and
no one could ever break him. Are you an ex-rodeo champion?? No said
the old man my wife was an epileptic!!!
___________
Going fishing is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back
your rod cover, and remove any dirt or grunge that may have built
up while not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length,
and check that there are no kinks or any wear.
Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied.
Make sure you've got a decent float, the appropriate bait,
and that there's plenty of shot in your bag.
______________
After hearing a couple's complaints that their intimate life
wasn't what it used to be, the sex counselor suggested they
vary their position. "For example," he suggested, "you might
try the wheelbarrow. Lift her legs, penetrate and off you go."
The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as
they got home.
"Well, OK," the hesitant wife agreed, "but on two conditions.
First if it hurts, you'll stop right away and second," she
insisted, "you must promise we won't go past my mother's."
_______________
After many years of hard work, Joe rewarded himself with a long,
luxurious stay at an exclusive Carribean resort.
While relaxing on the beach, he was surprised to see a former
high school classmate who he hadn't seen since they graduated.
His old friend had been something of a "burnout" in high school,
and this was the last place Joe expected to see him.
Joe approached the man, and seized his hand. "Pete, it's Joe.
From high school. It's sure been a long time. You look great!
You must really be doing okay for yourself."
"I am," whispered Pete. "I am a partner with a very successful
law firm. But don't tell mother. She got the idea that I was a
drug dealer back when I was in high school, and she would be
terribly disappointed if she figured out how I really make my money."
_____________
BUFFALO Bill
Streaker Goal
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skskwoi.htm
Sunrise Gold
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jsdkjsdk.htm
Super Gra
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sdkjak.htm
Surprise During Meal
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jksjadj.htm
___________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Nanny Mania 2
http://tinyurl.com/opcd6w
Bat Hunter
http://tinyurl.com/co25l9
Who Sleeps?
http://tinyurl.com/d8wblc
____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
A Mans Definition Of Strain
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000010.html
A Winner
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000015.html
Aaaaahhhhhhh
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000016.html
Absolut Cut
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000017.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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