THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
The cure for boredom is curiosity.
There is no cure for curiosity.
~Dorothy Parker
Congratulations! You have been chosen to
receive a FREEApple Macbook Air
http://tinyurl.com/nac5sr
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I had not figured that lifetime warranties would be such a
popular topic of discussion. Anyways, when I mentioned the
subject of guarantees on Midas mufflers, my friend Bill
wrote in to say that they usually don't include the piping
or brackets in the warranty. And if they break and there
is damage to the muffler because you drove over it or it
dragged on the ground, you will pay for the replacement.
That kindof figures. Any muffler that ever dropped on my
car was always ruined and required replacement. Altho I
never had a Midas. In younger years once, I had an old
Pontiac Catalina and almost the entire system fell down
one day. And, of course, I got a fix or repair ticket.
Being a good ole country boy, I fixed it the way any true
redneck would that had a broken muffler.
I tied it off with coat hangers, got some muffler tape,
and stuffed a liberal amount of brillo pads into what was
left of the muffler cavity. Then drove down to the nearest
State police post and asked the old sargeant to sign off
on the ticket. Fortunately, the old fellow didn't get real
close as he stood in the doorway to listen, and he said,
"Well, it does sound a little gutsy." But it was a cold night
and apparently he didn't want to waste any arguments on
me. So he signed off on the ticket. I drove it around that way
for at least a couple months before I broke down and bought
another muffler. Probably spent at least the cost of a muffler
buying the brillo pads and muffler tape. Go figger.
BTW, technically, I should not call myself a redneck, I would
be better known as a blueneck. You all know the difference,
don't you? A redneck, we all know. That's a budwieser drinkin,
Nascar watchin good ole boy who lives south of the Mason Dixon
line. A blueneck, well that's a good ole boy too. we just happen
to live NORTH of the Mason Dixon line. The stuff ya learn
from this page, eh? wow!!! And if you really want to know,
you could also call me a copperhead. Anybody know what that is?
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
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THE COMICS
the doctor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l020.html
a fifty dollar tip
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l021.html
nudist colony
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l022.html
change
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l023.html
I'm OLD
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l024.html
the least you can do
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l025.html
curing tennis elbow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l026.html
Do it yourself
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l027.html
in the cubicle
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l028.html
_____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
want to get away?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5870.html
golfing truth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5871.html
Mike's
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5872.html
3 things
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5873.html
website story
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5874.html
what is that
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5875.html
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice: "Stop! Stand
still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and
kill you."
The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was
astonished. He went on, and after awhile he was going to cross the road.
Once again the voice shouted: "Stop! Stand still! If you take one more
step a car will run over you and you will die."
The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the
corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked..."And where were you when I got married?"
____________
An inexperienced young man, prior to his wedding, asked his
father what he should do to his wife on their wedding night.
"Well," said the father, not knowing really how to say it delicately,
"you take the thing you used to play with more than anything else
when you were a teenager and put it where your wife wee-wees."
"Really, dad?" the young man said.
"Believe me, son," his father responded, "you'll love it."
So on his wedding night, the young man took his baseball
and threw it in the toilet.
_________________'
The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way
plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to
heaven together. "Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter.
"I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just
one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't expecting
you, your quarters just aren't ready... We can't take you in
and we can't send you back..."Then he got an idea. He picked
up the phone, "Lucifer, this is St. Peter. Hey, I got these
three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting
them, and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you
could put them up for a while. It'll only be a few of days.
What d'ya say?" Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.
However, two days later... St. Peter got a call.
"Pete, this is Lucifer. Hey, you gotta come get these guys.
This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham guy is
saving everybody, and that Roberts has raised enough money
to buy air conditioning."
________
Are you and Larry serious?" the one girl asked her friend while they
were talking over cocktails.
"We're still a little short of a meeting of the minds." she replied.
"I want a big, old-fashioned June wedding, and he wants a quickie in
the back seat."
_____________
Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done,
when in walks a young chick with a low cut blouse that revealed a
rose tattooed on one breast.
One lady leaned over to the other and said, "She don't know it, but
in 50 years she'll be wearing a long stemmed rose in a hanging
basket."
_____________
Country Wisdom
* Don't name a pig you plan to eat.
* Keep skunks and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stumps.
* A bumblebee is faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Trouble with a milk cow is she won't stay milked.
* Don't skinny dip with snapping turtles.
BUFFALO Bill
Soup Ad
http://www.buffaloschips.com/saDAWE.htm
Speed Isn't Everything
http://www.buffaloschips.com/SDFSA.htm
Sponsor an Executive
http://www.buffaloschips.com/DSAds.htm
_____________
SYDESJOKES LIST
A Little Off The Top
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000009.html
A Party Animal
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000011.html
A Pittance Of Time
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000012.html
A Real Amazing Sea Creature
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/vid1/000013.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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