Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I laid in bed for a couple of hours this morning listening to talk
radio because frankly it was freezing in the house. We had
been promised 70 today and I figured it would warm up eventually and
I was wrong. It went down to 45 last night and at 1400 it is only 55
degrees which is prime hibernating weather for buffalos. Eva got
cold and came in and crawled under the covers and turned on the
Disney Channel and I went back to sleep for another couple
of hours and then came out here and started on the lists. Didn't get
very far before I was cold again so I finally turned on the heat and
by the time I got up it was afternoon. Eva had already been back
up playing on the computer and my toolbars were all gone in Outlook
and she ha deleted the work I had already started. Fortunately she
hasn't found any new tricks in a few weeks and I found everything
she had changed.
Nancy and my mom are in Spokane for a couple of weeks while two of
my sisters and their husbands renew their vows. I don't know why
it takes so long to say, " I do " a second time but at least the
weather is
ten degrees higher there.
Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
When the Software industry had badly gone down, three software
giants. Sun, SCO(UNIX), and Microsoft started producing condoms and
named them Java-condom, CondomiX, and MS-Condoms Vista respectively.
A customer using Java-condom complained to Sun that the condom
didn't fit correctly.
Sun replied: "Wait till we get the ISO standard".
They boasted that it would fit any size irrespective of the
underlying structure. Well, the customer switched to CondomiX and
found that by the time he would finish reading the instructions
given along with it, his wife would fall asleep, and he himself
would forget why he was using CondomiX.
Finally, he switched to MS-Condoms Vista. To his surprise it was so
good.....and comfortable! He used it happily.
Six months later, he found that his wife was pregnant.
He got angry and complained to Microsoft. He got the following reply
from
Microsoft:
A PATCH IS COMING SOON...!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
bad news
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a search engine we could really use
http://thepostmansc
bitch
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doe Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A dude moved out to Idaho from back east. After a couple
weeks he got so horny he honked. He asked me what he could do about
his condition.
I told him to go down to the Indian reservation and grab himself a
doe.
He asked how to recognize a doe.
I told him she would have a long braid down her back and be wrapped
in a blanket.
The next morning, a chilly day by the way, he dutifully proceeded to
the reservation. He spied an Indian sitting out in front of a
tepee. When he grabbed the Indian the Indian shouted, "Me buck, me
buck!"
The dude replied, "Go ahead and buck you sonofabitch. I can ride
anything with hair on it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Condom Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A vet received a phone call very late one Saturday night. "Please
come quick," a very agitated voice on the other end said. "My dog
has swallowed a condom."
"Is he in distress?" the vet asked."
"You don't understand," the voice said. "My dog has swallowed a
condom."
"Yes, but unless the thing has lodged in his throat it will probably
pass through his system without harming the animal."
"Please come quick," the voice went on undeterred. "The dog has
swallowed a condom and my girlfriend is getting very distressed."
Eventually the vet gave in and promised that he would come round
right away. He was just putting his coat on when the phone rang
again. "About the dog that swallowed the condom," said the voice, it
was a lot calmer now. "Panic over, we've found another one in the
drawer
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Egg Genie - Automatic Egg Cooker
Steam cook eggs to perfect consistently whether its soft, hard or
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Prepare perfect eggs with Egg Genie.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Donkey Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your Donkey...My Donkey
Thanks to rubin
What do you call a donkey with one leg?
A wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?
A winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love? A
bonky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, makin' love
while breaking wind? A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey.
What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye, masturbating
while breaking wind? A stinky wanky winky wonky donkey? Nope ,
rubin hehheh
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sweating profusely in his new t-shirt and long pants, a tribesman in
a tropical jungle asks the missionary,
"If I did not know about God, the devil, and sin, like going around
naked as our people have always done, would I go to hell?"
The missionary answers, "No, not if you didn't know."
Upon which the tribesman demands, "Then why did you tell me!?"
Bert and Mabel were a week away from their wedding day. Bert was
beginning to get major stirrings so he decided to chance his arm.
"Er, Mabel, as it is only a week to the big day, how's about a quick
screw?" said Bert. Mabel's answer as expected was, "No Bert, it's
only 6 days to go, however you can have a look at your prize." The
next night Bert again pesters Mabel. Being an understanding sort,
Mabel gives in and says, "It is still 5 days to go and as you've
been a good fellow, I'll let you have a little feel of your prize."
It only makes matters worse for Bert and by the next night he can
hardly contain himself. Seeing his obvious predicament Mabel greets
Bert and whispers in his ear, "I can see what your problem is but
you've still got 4 days to go. I will however let you have a good
sniff of your prize." Not being bashful, Bert lifts Mabel's skirts
and sniffs. After a minute he comes up for air, "Mabel, do you think
it will keep 'til Saturday?!?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wonder Hanger Closet Space Saver
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four men went golfing one Saturday. Three of them headed to the
first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the
bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is
so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free." The second
man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line
dealership. He's so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes,
fully loaded." The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged,
"My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so well that he gave a
friend an entire portfolio." The fourth man joined them on the tee
after a few minutes of taking care of business. The first man
mentioned, "We are just talking about our sons How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a
gay bar." The other three men grew silent as he continued, I'm not
totally thrilled about the dancing, but he must be doing well. His
last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a
stock portfolio."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
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Subscribers and Friends
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Movie Clips
Mum
http://www.buffalos
My New Country Song
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Never Smash A WD-40 Can
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New At Canadian Tire
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New From Glade
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Don't Eat While Driving
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Energy Star
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Exam
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Future Engineers
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Glock Home Protection
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Do I look Fat" Responses
"Not to Stevie Wonder."
"Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."
"Does this tie make me look stupid?"
"No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!"
"I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean fat
with an 'f' or phat with a 'ph.'"
"No hablo ingles."
"Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker,
so things balance out."
"No, but taking it *off* sure does."
"If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."
"Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in
a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."
"Not if you were travelling at the speed of light."
"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
"No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged
sea captains."
"Whoa! A talking couch!!"
"May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering
that?"
---
The reason men lie is because women ask so many
questions.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mighty Putty
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
candle new scent
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candy
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cane
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can man
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can opener
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I had a dog named Lucky
Who was a horny fucky
One day he found
The neighbor's hound
And got his sausage stucky!
There once was an actor from Wales
His beauty was hard to detail
His talent was none
His career was soon done
When the papers said, "he's not a male!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Convert Your Car To Burn Water + Gasoline = Double Your Mileage!
Couple of weeks ago, this company was on Coast to Coast radio show
talking about their product for three hours. I liked their idea of
using your battery to generate hydrogen and oxygen from water to
increase your gas mileage up to 50 %. They weren't just selling a
concept, but a proven plan with parts lists, sources and suppliers,
and videos. You can use their plan to reap savings from the family
car, a fleet of vehicles, or open a profitable business in this time
of high gas prices. buffalo
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Indeed, we do not really live unless we have friends surrounding us
like a firm wall against the winds of the world. -- Charles Hanson
Towne
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY.
Women are like phones, They like to be held, talked to, and touched
often. . .
But push the wrong button and your ass is disconnected.
Cindy J in Seattle
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paddy has broken his leg and his mate Mick goes 'round to see him.
Mick says 'how you doin?'
Paddy says, "OK. Do us a favor, nip upstairs and get me slippers; me
feet are freezing."
Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin
daughters sitting on the bed .
He says, "Your dad's sent me up here to shag both of you."
They say, "Get away with ya.. Prove it."
Mick shouts downstairs, "Paddy, both of em?"
Paddy shouts back, "Of course both of em! What's the point of f'kin
one?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flies Away
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1641
Dad
BJ: An another thing. I do not eat Alpo.
Rudy: We were just trying to think of you Pops.
BJ: I appreciate the thought, but perhaps we should limit it to
thoughts.
Sandi: I made this hospital gown just for you Daddy.
BJ: Ack! It has places for four paws and a place for a tail.
Katie: Give us a break, we are doggies ya know.
BJ: Come here and lets hug. I know you all mean well and I wish I
didn't have to have surgery. Sandi why are you crying.
Sandi: I don't want you to die.
BJ: This is to fix things. I am not going anywhere. I will be
better than ever.
Sandi perks up: Really?
BJ: Yes!
Rudy: A-Roo!
Katie: You will be able to run again?
BJ: No, I still have a bad knee.
Sandi: Sniff sniff, that's okay Daddy, as long as you are here to
snuggle with.
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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