THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Lord help me to be the person my dog thinks I am.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I am sure you are getting tired of all the media
coverage regarding the death of pop star Michael Jackson.
However, may I risk adding a comment or two?
I came across a powerful message from Stevie Wonder
On Michael Jackson's death…
....... .. … … .. …..
.. . . … . . . . . .. . .. …. .. .. . … ..
... ... .. ... ... ... ... .... ...... ... ... ... .... ..... .. .
.. . . … .. . . . ..
... . .... ... .... .... ...
...... .... .... .... ..... ..... ..... .. . . .... ....
. .. .
. . .. . .. . ...
....... ... ... ... .. ... ....... ... .. .... ... ... .... ....
. .. .. .
.. ....
.. . . . . . .. .. … ..
.. .... .. ... ... ....... ...... .....
Deep stuff hey?
I nearly cried when he said
". .. . . . .. .. … .. .. . . .... ...."
.......
one other comment....
I'm thinking that, thanks to President Obama, Luxury cars are soon to be a
thing of the past.They have always been beyond my means but
I took out a Cadillac Escalade last week for a test drive,
just to drive that sucker before they become extinct.
The salesman sat in the back seat describing the car and all
it's wonderful options.
The seats were of particular interest.
He explained the seats directed warm air to your butt in the
winter and directed cool air to your butt in the summer heat.
I stated the car must be a Republican car.
He asked why I thought it was a Republican car.
I explained if it were a Democratic car the seats would
blow smoke up your ass.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_________
THE COMICS
how fast?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k020.html
overinflated
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k021.html
do not
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k022.html
pregnancy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k023.html
admit it
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k024.html
a tie
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k025.html
Sara Palin says
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k026.html
I'm leaving
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k027.html
oh Roy
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k028.html
___________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
at the gym
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5840.html
talented family
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5841.html
the contract
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5842.html
in the kitchen
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5843.html
deer rescue
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5844.html
manly candles
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5845.html
Grandma was nearly ninety years of age when she won one million
dollars on the football pools. Her family was extremely worried
about her heart and feared that news of her large win would come as
too much of a shock for her.
"I think we had better call in the doctor to tell her the news,"
suggested the eldest son.
The doctor soon arrived and the situation was explained to him.
"Now, you don't have to worry about anything," said the doctor. "I am
fully trained in such delicate matters and I feel sure I can break
this news to her gently. I assure you, there is absolutely no need
for you to fear for her health. Everything will be quite safe if left to me."
The doctor went in to see the old lady and gradually brought the
conversation around to football pools.
"Tell me," said the doctor, "what would you do if you had a large win
on the pools - say one million dollars?"
"Why," replied the old lady, "I'd give half of it to you, of course."
The doctor fell down dead with shock.
___________
A young man was hitchhiking down south and a farmer driving
an old pickup truck stopped to give him a lift.
As they were driving, the farmer started bragging about how
good the local moonshine whiskey was. The young man told
the farmer that he didn't drink very much, and that
moonshine would probably be too strong for his tastes.
Nonsense!" said the farmer. "You gotta try some." He
fished around behind him and finally produced a small jug.
"Here," he said, handing the jar to the lad. "Take a drink!"
"Oh, no thanks," said the young man. "I really don't think
I care for any." "No, I insist," pressed the farmer. "Have some."
"No, thanks — really," said the young man.
The farmer wasn't going to take no for an answer. He
stopped the truck and grabbed his shotgun from the rack
in back. He pointed the gun at the lad and roared,
"I said, take a drink!" "Okay! Okay!" said the young man.
He took a few swallows and instantly realized just how
powerful the stuff was. His throat muscles tightened,
his eyes watered, and he made a choking sound.
"What do you think of it?" asked the farmer. "Good, ain't it?"
"Yeah," gasped the lad, afraid he would be forced to drink
more if he disagreed, "I guess so." Then the farmer handed the
young man the shotgun and grinned. "Here! Now, you hold the
gun on me and make me drink some!".
____________
A young man in the military was stationed in Germany. One day,
on a weekend pass he went to a bazaar and found an old woman selling quilts. The young man approached her booth and picked up a quilt.
He then turned to the woman and asked "How much?"
The woman replied, "$25 dollars American, but I must warn you,
the quilt was made by a gypsy and has magic woven into it."
Paying the woman no mind, he paid for the quilt, and returned to base.
That night he slept under the quilt and dreamt that he was extremely wealthy. The next morning mail call had a surprise letter for him.
His wife had played the lottery and won $65 million dollars.
The next night he slept under the quilt and dreamt that he had
sex with a beautiful woman that he had seen on the base.
The next day, the base doctor (the woman in question) brings
him to her office and has sex with him on the exam table.
Excitedly, the next night, the man hurried to bed and dreamt
that his penis reached his ankles.
To his horror, he awoke to find his legs had shrunk to four inches long.
_____________
Two men were traveling together, when a bear suddenly
met them on their path. One of them climbed up quickly
into a tree and concealed himself in the branches.
The other, seeing that he must be attacked, fell flat on
the ground, and when the bear came up and felt him with
his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath,
and feigned the appearance of death as much as he could.
The bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead body.
When he was quite gone, the other traveler descended from
the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it was
the bear had whispered in his ear. "He gave me this advice,"
his companion replied. "Never travel with a friend who deserts
you at the approach of danger."
______________
A young clergyman, fresh out of seminary, thought it
would help him better understand the fears and tempt-
ations his future congregations faced if he first took
a job as a policeman for several months.
He passed the physical examination; then came the oral
exam to test his ability to act quickly and wisely in
an emergency.
Among other questions he was asked, "What would you do
to disperse a frenzied crowd?"
He thought for a moment and then said, "I would pass a
collection plate." He got the job.
___________
Rosey and Nina were sitting together sharing their
morning coffee.
Rosey said to Nina, "Living with my husband is like
playing checkers."
"How so?" asks Nina.
Rosey replies, "Every time I make a move, he jumps me."
________________
BUFFALO Bill
Nipple Bitten Off
http://www.buffaloschips.com/adfas.htm
Camel Toe Video
http://www.buffaloschips.com/asdfa.htm
Hand Up
http://www.buffaloschips.com/zsasd.htm
_____________
FUN PAGEs from Lorraine
Burdaloo
http://tinyurl.com/pvk9ob
Robokill Shooting Game
http://tinyurl.com/ch4p79
Western Shoot Out
http://tinyurl.com/c3bz6b
__________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Amazing Swimming #5
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000026.html
Amazing Swimming #6
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000027.html
Amazing Swimming #7
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000028.html
Amazing Swimming #8
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000029.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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