THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
A bright and shining vision has
value only when you have the
courage to follow it. When you
know that it is the thing to do,
then step up and do it.
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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
I am moving around slowly this morning. Yep.
last night it happened. Motorcycle accident.
I usually do not ride when the sun starts to go
down because it gets more difficult for other drivers to
see, what with the glaring sun rays and etc. And drivers
have a tendancy not to see motorcycles even when
conditions are prime. Well anyways, to make a long story
short, I am puttin along and I look up ahead, and all
of a sudden a minivan pulled out in front of me and cuts
me off. I turned and skidded to miss him. Ended up jumping
the curve in the process to avoid the booger. Who simply kept
on going. After jumping the curve, I am not too sure exactly
what happened. I know that the bike was many feet away
from where I landed. ouch. And the other driver?
Apparently he never even knew I was there.
I Went down hard in the efforts to keep
from hitting this guy. But fortunately, I have role bars.
Damages would have been far greater to body and bike
if I had not. Thanks to the kindness of a couple behind me,
they stopped to render assistance when they saw what happened.
Having a first aid kit in the car, he was taping up my bleeding
thumb and she had called 911 on her cell. Altho I politely
refused medical treatment for lack of any major dents or dings
when medical and police arrived.
I now have a nice big rip in my favorite leather vest. But
other than some new scratches on the paint,
and a couple bruises on the body, I seem to have survived
mostly in tact. But folks, if you are out and about on the
road today, be careful and keep a sharp eye out. Someone's
life may depend on it.
We do hope you enjoy today's issue
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_____________
THE COMICS
vertical mouth
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k010.html
people license
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k011.html
I've tried everything
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k012.html
lip ring
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k013.html
mailing list
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k014.html
endangered
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k015.html
corperate ladder
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k016.html
a fun pogo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k017.html
____________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
one hell of a ride
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5833.html
Mr. Stamros Flatley
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5834.html
Korean tough guys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5835.html
dance duet
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5836.html
worth stealing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5837.html
stress
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5839.html
Kramer goes to an optometrist and he's lead into a room
where the doctor pulls down a small screen with letters.
"Read me the bottom line, Mr. Kramer."
"Sorry, Doc, I can't."
"Okay, how about the line above that?"
"Nope."
"... the next one up?"
"Nope."
This goes on for half an hour with the optometrist
pulling down progressively larger and larger eye charts
with ever bigger letters
Finally, the doctor says, 'Well, I've never had to use
it before, but see if you can read this."
With that, he pulled a lever, the wall collapsed and a
giant 50 foot flaming orange 'A" rose up out of the
ground. 'Now surely you can read THAT!" snarled the frustrated
optometrist. "Sorry, Doc, but I can't."
"Then, man, you must be blind!"
"Oh no, Doc, my eyesight's fine. I just never learned how to read!"
______________
A young innocent girl is about to go on her 1st date and is given
some word of advise and warning by her mother; "Look darling,
they all want the same, so do be very careful and don't you ever let him;
1.) kiss your lips. Your lips are as soft as rose petals and will shrivel,
2.) or touch your breast. They are like of thin crystal and can shatter, and
3.) never ever to touch your "private" part. That one is like a "GRILL"
and will burn everything coming to touch it."
The girl is off full of excitement and anxiety, and Mom waits and waits
until just after midnight when she's back. "How was it?" asks mom.
"Oh mom, it was absolutely fantastic, and I think I'm in love!"
"Lets not go too fast dear. And did he tried to come too close?"
"Well, yes, he did and I did as you said and he was absolutely
careful not to hurt or harm me!"
"What do you mean careful, did you let him do something?"
"Not exactly mom, see it was like that.
First he wanted to kiss me and I told him what you said, and he stopped.
Then he went to touch my breast and again I told him what you said, and he stopped. Then he slowly went under my skirt close to the private part, and I
told him what you said, and he then took his hands out and said;
"What a coincidence, I happen to have a nice piece of "Fillet"
and would love to put it in your "Grill" to cook!!""
"WHAT?!?" screams the mother, "I knew that bastard is no different
to the others. You hopefully stopped him there too, didn't you?"
Well, not really mom. You see, he promised to be careful and was
very careful not to "burn" his fillet. Every now and then he took
it out and had me "taste it" to see if it was cooked or not."
______________
At a dinner party, Miss Holly and Joe were arguing whether men or
women were more trustworthy.
"No woman," said Joe, scornfully, "can keep a secret."
"I don't know about that," answered Miss Holly. "I have kept
my age a secret since I was twenty-one."
"You'll let it out some day," Joe insisted.
"I hardly think so!" responded Miss Holly. "When a woman has
kept a secret for twenty-seven years, she can keep it forever.
_______________
One evening, two Alabama State Trooper patrol cars were in hot
pursuit of a Chevy Camaro going east on I-20 toward Georgia.
When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie Trooper pulled over right behind him and asked,
"Hey Sarge, why did you stop?"
The Sarge replied, "You stupid rookie! That guy's in Georgia now.
They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."
________________
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the
bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.'
The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.
'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's
truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass , Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says,
'Dis looks like a grand place.' He takes two birds out of the box,
puts one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff. Paddy watches as
the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the bottom,
killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best
pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, 'Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!'
THERE'S MORE....
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at ConnorPass.
He's been to the pet shop too and walks up to the edge of the cliff
carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other.
'Hi, Paddy, watch dis,' Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free.
He then throws himself over the edge of the cliff with the gun.
Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and
breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, 'And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting either!'
IT IS NOT OVER YET...
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is
carrying a cardboard box out of which
he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and hurls
himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a rock
and breaks his spine. Once more Paddy shakes his head. 'Fook dat, lads.
First dere was Gerry with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting. ... And now Sean and his fook'n hengliding!'
____________
BUFFALO Bill
Mum
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kakaoo.htm
My New Country Song
http://www.buffaloschips.com/oqqooq.htm
Never Smash A WD-40 Can
http://www.buffaloschips.com/kajasoa.htm
___________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
Amelie's Cafe
http://tinyurl.com/nhsq75
Terror Camp
http://tinyurl.com/qq5jkx
How Sexy Are You?
http://tinyurl.com/dgwqbp
______________
SYDESJOKES LIST
Amazing Swimming #1
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000022.html
Amazing Swimming #2
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000023.html
Amazing Swimming #3
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000024.html
Amazing Swimming #4
http://sydesjokes.com/lnk/toon1/000025.html
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
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