THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Tears are like rain. They loosen up our soil so we can grow in different directions.
Keep your kitchen surfaces germ-free and smelling fresh. Get your FREE*
Sample of Clorox(r) or Lysol(r) Disinfecting Wipes.
http://tinyurl.com/njd4pt
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
Well, I finally did it! I picked me up a new
Stanley brand stainless steel thermos. Unlike other
coffee thermoses, Stanley does not use glass for
the liner. They are indestructible. When I was
a kid, my father had one on his 4020 John Deer
one day and knocked it off to the ground and promptly
ran the tractor over it. All it did was a little dent.
You could probably put a hand grenade on the inside of
one of those suckers and it wouldn't cause any damage.
Any ways one night about 10 years ago I was out fishing
on a bridge, it was a cold night, and I had my own
Stanley thermos at my side. Yep, sure enough, I knocked
it over and into the river it went. Finally, after ten
years, I got me a new one! Their lifetime guarantee does
not cover loss, unfortunately. In my life time I
have found there are only two other products besides Stanley
thermoses that are actually
made to last forever and have a lifetime guarantee that
actually means something.
One is Zippo lighters. I was digging a garden about 20 years
ago when I first bought this place, and found an old rusty
Zippo lighter in the dirt, no lid, it was in pretty sad shape.
They sent me a brand new lighter with no questions asked.
The only other item I know of in life that offers a guarantee
of a lifetime is Cutco cutlery. I had bought my wife a set
of these amazing knives when we were first married. And I
found that one knife in particular with that serrated edge
worked very well for cutting shingles when I was roofing the
house. They sent a replacement when I broke it with no
questions asked. I don't know why it took me ten years to
get a thermos replacement, but now today when I go for
my motorcycle ride, and I pull into the roadside park,
I can have me a nice hot cup of joe.:)
By the way. fellas, if you're gonna roof the house,
Don't use your wife's kitchen knives to cut the shingles.
Go buy a utility knife. Its a much more diplomatic move:)
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________
THE COMICS
recent studies show
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k040.html
handz off
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k041.html
the happy meal
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k042.html
oh shucks
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k043.html
I wanted this job
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k044.html
pulling out
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k045.html
a rumor
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k046.html
sex toys
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k047.html
are you sure?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/k048.html
______________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Steve Martin/Michael Jackson
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5852.html
Dennis Swenberg
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5853.html
Gangster government
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5854.html
Grab your balls
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5855.html
alter boy fun
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5856.html
a new navy ad
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5857.html
A sailor came home from a secret two year mission at sea ;
only to find his wife with a new born baby. Furious, he was
determined to track down the father to extract revenge.
"Was it my friend Joe ", he demanded.
"No !" his weeping wife replied.
"Was it my friend Bob then?" he asked.
"NO !!!" she said even more upset.
"Well which one of my no good friends did this then?" he asked.
"Don't you think I have any friends of my own?" she snapped.
________________
A pirate captain procured a map that claimed to lead to buried
treasure. After months of hard sailing, his crew caught site of
an island, right where the treasure map showed it to be. The
captain and his first mate disembarked to search out the treasure,
which was supposed to lie deep within a swamp at the center of the island.
Sure enough, at the center of the island they found a swamp.
The captain and his first mate bravely entered the swamp, even
though their feet sank into the muck. As they proceeded, the
swamp got deeper; oozy mud rose above their ankles; soon they
were knee-deep. Suddenly, the captain banged his shin against
something hard. He reached down, groping through the slime, and
pulled up a treasure chest. Eagerly they pried the lock, and
discovered gold and jewels beyond imagination!
The captain turned to his first mate and said, "Arrrr, matey,
that just goes to show ye! Booty is only shin deep!"
____________
A little old guy is walking around in a supermarket
calling out, Crisco, Crissssssscoooo!' Soon an assistant
manager approaches and says, 'Sir, the Crisco is in aisle 3.'
The old guy replies, 'Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking stuff.
I'm calling my wife. She's in here somewhere'
The clerk is astonished.
'Your wife's name is Crisco?'
The old guy answers, 'Oh no, no, no. I only call her
that when we're out in public.'
'I see,' said the clerk.
'What do you call her at home?'
'Lard ass.'
______________
Two fellows were sitting in a bar and the one was complaining
about his current live-in girlfriend. "I'm telling ya Sam,
I've about had it with her. She keeps bringing her work home
nite after nite. I'm seriously considering just moving out
and ending the relationship." "Well," replied his buddy,
"I can see how that could indeed be very annoying. But having
a girl who's interested in her career is hardly a reason to break up."
"It is if your girlfriend's a hooker." the first man maintained.
_______________
This guy goes to Amsterdam to videotape a presentation. While
staying in his hotel he finds an awesome porn channel on the TV,
but, alas, he has no VCR or way to record it.
With a flash of inspiration, he sets up his video camera,
points it at the TV, and tapes a few hours of hard core video.
On arriving home, he tells his best friend about the trip.
The conversation gets around to the porn tape and the man
lends his friend the tape.A couple of days later, the friend
returns the tape. "Did, ahh, did you watch your tape?"
"No. I was watching the original. Wasn't any need to see the tape."
"Well, uhh, before you lend it out again, maybe you should watch it,"
the friend advises.
The guy did as he was advised. And never lent out the tape again.
You see, the fella had forgotten to take into account the *reflective*
nature of a television screen . .
BUFFALO Bill
Office B
http://www.buffaloschips.com/skslkds.htm
Polaroid
http://www.buffaloschips.com/lkala.htm
Porky Pig
http://www.buffaloschips.com/sddssd.htm
THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment