Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Sandy likes a lot of light in a room. She gets that by putting 100
watt bulbs in every fixture. Problem with that is we use a lot more
electricity and the fixtures are rated for 60 watt bulbs which means
the wiring gets baked when the lights are on.
I have been contemplating CFL lighting for awhile and even had a few
rooms on the small 60 watt replacement bulbs and though it was fine
for my cave, it just didn't have enough light for the main rooms. I
wanted the 23w cfl bulbs but they were about 6.00 until I found a
pile of them last night at Walgreen's for 2-3 dollars each and
grabbed a bag full of both the soft white and cool white varieties.
Sandy loves the cool white for the kitchen although when I change
all four bulbs, you will probably need sunglasses.
Am I worried about the little bit of mercury gas in each one of
those bulbs? No, but then I don't have any plans of sealing the
house up and smashing a few cases of them and I don't
think we have broken a bulb here in the 17 years we've been here so
the chances of being affected are small.
I would have never considered this a few years ago but now that cap
and trade is being shoved down our throats we will all have
to make some sacrifices to absorb some of the costs unless you live
in the White House and someone else is paying the utilities.
Have a Happy 4th........ buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Present Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the birth of my son, a woman from the
records department stopped by my hospital
room to get information for his birth certificate.
"Father's date of birth?" she asked.
When I told her, she said, "Do you realize that
his birthday is exactly nine months before your
son's birth?"
"No, I hadn't thought about it," I responded, "but
now that you mention it, I realize that I have a
daughter who turned two a couple of days
before the same date."
After she finished taking down all the data, she
patted my hand and said, "Maybe you should
start buying your husband a tie for his birthday."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
I like being a dog
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Please, Gloria
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hand job
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pregnant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Fatal Things To Say If Your Wife's Pregnant"
I finished the Oreos.
Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds.
Y'know, looking at her, you'd never guess that Pamela Lee had a
baby!
I sure hope your thighs aren't gonna stay that flabby forever!
Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl.
Darned if you ain't about five pounds away from a surprise visit
from
that Richard Simmons fella.
Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's
gotta
hurt.
Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!
I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?
Are your ankles supposed to look like that?
Get your *own* ice cream.
Geez, you're awfully puffy looking today.
Got milk ?
Maybe we should name the baby after my secretary, Tawney?
Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!
Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water...
Your stomach sticks out almost as much as your butt!
You don't have the guts to pull that trigger...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Swedish Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance. While they
were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, "In America,
we call this a hug".
She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too."
A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and says, "In
America, we call this a kiss".
She replies, "Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a kiss too."
Towards the end of the night, and a lot of drinks later, he takes
her out on the campus lawn, and proceeds to have sex with her, and
says, "In America, we call this a grass sandwich".
She says, "Yaaah in Sveden, we call it a grass sandwich too, but we
usually put more meat in it.".
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Job Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Right lad," said the sergeant in the recruiting office, "what's
your
name?"
"McCoy, sergeant."
"And what was your civvy job?"
"I was a cork socker, sergeant."
"A cork socker? What's that?"
"Well, I worked in a winery, see, and my job was to put the pretty
paper
over the corks in the wine bottles. A cork socker, they called me."
"Okay," said the sergeant, "through that door there and see the
medical
officer. "Next!" The next bloke fronted up.
"Name?" asked the sergeant. "McCoy, sergeant." "Another McCoy! And
what
was your civvy job?"
"I was a coke soaker, sergeant."
"A coke soaker? What's that?"
"Well I worked in the foundry, see, and it was my job to keep the
coke
damp so it burned hotter. A coke soaker they called me."
"Okay," said the sergeant, "through that door there and see the
medical
officer. "Next!" The next bloke fronted up.
"Name?" asked the sergeant. "McCoy, sergeant." "Not another McCoy!
And
what was your civvy job?"
"I was a sock tucker, sergeant."
"A sock tucker? What's that?"
"Well, I worked in a sock factory, and when the socks came off the
production line I had to fold them neatly and tuck them together. A
sock
tucker, they called me."
"Okay," said the sergeant, "through that door there and see the
medical
officer. "Next!" The next bloke fronted up.
"Name?" asked the sergeant. "McCoy, sergeant."
"Not another one!" the sergeant groaned. "And what the hell are you
lad?
A coke soaker, a cork socker or a sock tucker?"
"None of those sweetie," lisped the bloke. "I'm the real McCoy!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Bra Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A drunk advised the clerk that he wanted to buy a bra
for his wife.
Clerk: Here are several styles to choose from, sir.
Drunk: This one will do the job!
Clerk: Do you know the size that your wife requires,sir?
Drunk: 7 1/2 Clerk: I'm sorry, sir, but bras are not
made in that size. Here is a standard listing of
mamufacturer'
Drunk: 7 1/2.
Clerk: There is some mistake. Let me bring in our buyer
to help.
Drunk: 'Measured it myself! Size is 7 1/2!!
Clerk: But, sir--
Drunk: 7 1/2, God dammit!!!
Clerk: Perhaps you can tell me how you measured? What
did you use?
Drunk: My hat!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Couple of weeks ago, this company was on Coast to Coast radio show
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The inexperienced young Bob was smitten with Sue who was sitting
beside
him in his parked car. Looking at her in the light of the full
moon, he
gently placed his hand on her knee and said, "Sue.... I think I love
you."
With a knowing smile, she put her hand on his and said, "Higher
Bob."
Clearing his throat, Bob said, "Sue.... I think I love you!" in a
cracked falsetto.
Paula & Steve got married. They went to a Hotel for the wedding
night.
The following morning, Paula's closest friend came over and asked me
how
their wedding night went.
Paula told her "I'm just awfully tired, dead tired. All night long
it
was up and down, in and out, up and down, in and out."
Her friend, misunderstanding her, was a bit shocked, that she spoke
so
crassly.
Steve clarified by adding
"Don't ever get a room next to an elevator!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Prayer Request
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Surfin Surfari
Reaction
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Fire whirl Via Wesley
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Movie Clips
How A Real Man Takes Off His Underwear
http://www.buffalos
How Mens Underwear Should Be Advertised
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How To Get Rid Of A One Night Stand
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It can Make You suck
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It's Cool To Wear A Scottish Kilt
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Olympic
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Perception
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Person Of The Week
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Puppy VS Mirror
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Recession USA
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Priest Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The young lady at the confessional said, "Father, put it in my
pussy!"
"No, child, the vulva is the sacred place whereby you deliver
another
child of God," replied the Priest.
"Oh, Father, put it in my mouth then!" begged the young woman.
"No, child, the mouth is the sacred place whereby you eat the sacred
Host," said the Priest
"So put it under my armpit!" asked the young lady.
"No, child, the armpit is the sacred place where you carry the Holy
Bible," replied the Priest.
"OK, Father, then just take it out of my ass cause it hurts!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young harlot of Crete
Whose fucking was far, far too fleet.
So they tied down her ass
With a long ton of brass
To give them a much longer treat.
When the Nazis landed in Crete
The young harlot had to compete
With the many Storm Troopers
Who were using their poopers
For other things than to excrete.
Our subversive young harlot of Crete
Was led to fifth-column deceit.
When the paratroops landed
Her trade she expanded
By at once going down on their meat.
Then here was this harlot of Crete
She decided to be very neat.
She said, "I'm too high class
To ream common ass,
And I'll wash every prick that I eat."
And at last this young harlot of Crete
Was hawking her meat in the street.
Ambling out one fine day
In a casual way
She clapped up the whole British fleet.
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Doctors laying in bed after sex, He said: " you must be an
OBGYN cuz you really worked that pussy !" She said: " And, you
must be a anesthesiologist cuz I didn't feel shit !"
hippie
A little old lady sat down next to a man in church who was praying
devoutly.
As he sat back in his pew, he burst into tears and continued to sob.
The little old lady said to the man,
"I'm so sorry. Did you lose somebody close to you ?"
"No" he said. "I just sat on my balls."
Randy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
These three dudes break out of prison. One is white, one
is black, and one Mexican. They are going through the
woods trying to get away, while hearing the guard dogs getting
closer. They ran until they reach the end of the woods to find
a swamp loaded with alligators.
The white man says, "I've got to try to swim across! If I
don't, the dogs will eat me!" So he jumps in and swims
about fifty feet before the alligators attack and devour him. The
black guy is standing there looking at the swamp, but the
dogs are getting closer, so he says, "I'm bigger and stronger
than that white dude. I think I can out-swim those alligators!"
So he jumps in and swims about one hundred yards before the
alligators attack and devour him.
The Mexican is standing there, afraid to jump in, when the
dogs run out of the woods barking. He jumps in figuring that
he would die anyway if he didn't. Miraculously, he makes it
across the swamp untouched by the gators, and makes it to freedom. A
little alligator says to a big alligator, "Why did we eat
the first two guys, but let the Mexican go?"
The big alligator says, "The last time that I ate a Mexican,
my butthole burned for three days!"
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1637
An Outing
BJ: Diana want to go with me to take some rentals back to the
redbox?
Diana: Sure I will ride with you.
BJ: Okay, I will meet you in the car.
The dogs pile out the door when BJ goes outside and start to run.
BJ: Hmm, I wonder if Katie would like to go?
Rudy is pulling at BJ's pants: Wanna go.
BJ: Okay, let me start the car and get it cooled down.
Rudy: Let me get Sandi.
BJ Starts the car and in a minute Rudy and Sandi are in the
backseat.
Diana leaves the house and is in the car.
Diana: Whoa, where's Katie?
Woof!
BJ: Got her.
They drive to take the movies back and it just so happens that next
door is McDonalds.
BJ: You thinkin' what I'm thinkin?
Diana: Three hamburgers and two ice-cream cones?
BJ: Right.
Back at the house....
Rudy: So how often do you take movies back?
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
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