Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
In a hurry today so no introduction. Have a good weekend and
enjoy the chips.
buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blonde Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Those Blondes Are At It Again
Two Blondes With Hammers...
Carol and Donna, were doing some carpenter work on a Habitat for
Humanity house. Carol, who was nailing down house siding, would
reach into her nail pouch, pull out a nail and either toss it over
her shoulder or nail it in. Donna, figuring this was worth looking
into, asked, 'Why are you throwing those nails away?' Carol
explained, 'When I pull a nail out of my pouch, about half of them
have the head on the wrong end and I throw them away.' Donna got
completely upset and yelled, 'You moron! Those nails aren't
defective! They're for the other side of the house!'
++++++++++++
Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a drive-in
movie?
They had gone to see 'Closed for the Winter.'
++++++++++++
A blonde hurried into the
emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot
off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her.
'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. 'What?'
sputtered the doctor.
'You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?' 'No,
Silly' the blonde said.
'First I put the gun to my chest, and then I thought, 'I just paid
$6,000.00 for these implants. I'm not shooting myself in the
chest.' 'So then?' asked the doctor. 'Then I put the gun in my
mouth, and I thought, 'I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth
straightened. I'm not shooting myself in the mouth.' 'So then?'
'Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: 'This is going to make
a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled
the trigger.
++++++++++++
A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a really
bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she
took it to a repair shop. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde,
so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow
into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and
started blowing into her tailpipe.
Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing
happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you
doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed
her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop
out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You
need to roll up the windows first.'
++++++++++++
A blonde was shopping at Target and came across a shiny silver
thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and
took it to the clerk to ask what it was.. The clerk said, 'Why,
that's a thermos..... it keeps hot things hot, and cold things
cold.' 'Wow, said the blonde, 'that's amazing.....
it!' So she bought the thermos and took it to work the next day.
Her boss saw it on her desk. 'What's that,' he asked? 'Why, that's
a thermos.....
it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold,' she replied... Her
boss inquired, 'What do you have in it?' The blond replied... ....
...'Two popsicles and some coffee.'
++++++++++++
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST
A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out.
Her boss asked sympathetically, 'What's the matter?' The blonde
replies, 'Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my
mother had passed away.' The boss, feeling sorry for her, says, 'Why
don't you go home for the day? Take the day off to relax and rest.'
'Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it
and I have the best chance of doing that here.' The boss agrees and
allows the blonde to work as usual. A couple of hours pass and the
boss decides to check on the blonde.. He looks out from his office
and sees the blonde crying hysterically. 'What's so bad now? Are
you gonna be okay?' he asks. 'No!' exclaims the blonde.
'I just received a horrible call from my sister. Her mother died,
too!'
Gordon
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
magician goofed
http://www.thepostm
uh Ted?
http://www.thepostm
before you leave
http://www.thepostm
Camels
http://www.sydesjok
Camilla and Charles
http://www.sydesjok
Can God Help
http://www.sydesjok
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nudist Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Top 12 Nudist Pickup Lines
"Hey, is that a roll of quarters in... er, never mind. That's not a
pocket, is it? "
"Oh, look! Somebody must have dropped a $20 bill there on the ground
in
front of you! "
"Hey, Tan Lines, new around here? "
"Ever seen a guy do no-handed pushups? "
"Excuse me, were those Bugle Boy jeans? "
"Nice melanoma! "
"My other penis is a Porsche. "
"Damn, you'd look great in a wet T-shirt. "
"Boy, I'd sure like to get into *YOUR* pants! Figuratively speaking,
of
course... "
"Did you just wake up or are you glad to see me? "
"Did I mention that I'm President of the United States? "
and the Number 1 Nudist Pickup Line...
"I see where Joe Camel gets his good looks! "
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Always Fresh Containers help extend the lifespan of your fruits,
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Computer Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a true story from the WordPerfect helpline. Needless to say,
the
help desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee
with a
caller:
"Ridge Hall computer assistant; may I help you?"
"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.
"What sort of trouble?"
"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went
away."
"Went away?"
"They disappeared.
"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"
"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
"How do I tell?"
"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
"What's a sea-prompt?"
"Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
"There isn't any cursor, I told you, it won't accept anything I
type."
"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
"What's a monitor?"
"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it
have
a little light that tells you when it's on?"
"I don't know."
"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power
cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged
into
the wall."
".......Yes, it is."
"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were
two
cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
"No."
"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the
other
cable."
".......Okay, here it is."
"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the
back of
your computer."
"I can't reach."
"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
"No."
"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
"Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because
it's
dark."
"Dark?"
"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming
in
from the window."
"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."
"No? Why not?"
"Because there's a power outage."
"A power... A power outage? Ah, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do
you
still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer
came
in?"
"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like
it
was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it
from."
"Really? Is it that bad?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a
flounder is
flat?"
Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Little Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Little Johnny. I'll have to speak to your parents
about this. Let's try another one. Why does a lobster's eyes
protrude
from its head?"
Again Little Johnny raises his hand.
"We'll give you another chance."
"My uncle said when the whale raped the flounder, the lobster saw
it,
and his eyes popped out in shock."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Swirly Hair Clip
Style your hair without the crimp. Swirly flexes to style hair
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dying Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ralph returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has
told him he only has 24 hous to live.
Given the prognosis, Ralph asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she
agrees,
and they make love.
About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
"Honey,
you know I only have 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one
more
time?"
Of course, the wife agrees and they do it again. Later as Ralph gets
in
to bed, he looks at his watch and realizes he only has 8 hours left.
He touches his wife's shoulder and asks, " Honey, please...just one
more
time before I die?"
She says, "Of course, dear." And they make love for the third time.
After this session the wife rolls over and falls asleep.
Ralph, however, worried about his impending death, tosses & turns
until
he's down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. "Honey, I
have
only 4 more hours. Do you think we could...?
At this point his wife sits up and says, "Listen Ralph, I have to
get up
in the morning...You don't."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answer 10 questions and your Death Date will be revealed
Here:
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
After watching a rather hot love scene on cable, the husband looked
over at his wife and said, "How come you never make love to me like
that?"
"Are you kidding me? Do you have any idea how much they pay those
people to do that?"
They say a smile is a gift, which is free to the giver and precious
to the recipient. But giving the finger is free too, and I find it
more personal and sincere.
Whenever I come home from playing golf, my son always asks me
excitedly, "Did you win, Dad?" I have explained to him time and
time
again that you're really just playing against yourself.
We were on vacation and I had gone out to play a round. When I
returned, the kids were swimming in the hotel pool, which was full
of
kids and surrounded by dozens of parents.
From across the pool, at the top of his lungs, my son yelled, "Hey
Dad! Did you have fun playing with yourself?"
We checked out that night.
A bloke and his wife went to a family planning clinic. "We've been
married for ten years and we've got no kids," said the husband. 'And
the next-door neighbors say it's because we're stupid.'
"Nonsense," smiled the doctor. "It's probably to do with your diet.
Or it might be a question of timing. How many times a week do you do
it?"
"Do what?" asked the wife.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Touched With Gold
http://www.silveran
Christian The Lion
http://www.reflecti
Lily Of The Valley
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Surfin Surfari
Upchucky.com
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Technology Review: Implantable Telescope for the Eye Via Dianne
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Barbie.com - Activities and Games for Girls Online!
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Tech Horror Stories
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Worms!
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Sigs
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Online File Storage
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High Resolution Wallpaper
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Press below to launch the Diagnostics Test download now:
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
Animal World
Doggie Zone
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Kitty Korner
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*+*+*+*+*+*+
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Movie Clips
When Not To Clean your Glasses
http://www.buffalos
Where
http://www.buffalos
Where Croissants Come From
http://www.buffalos
Why Men Have Bikes
http://www.buffalos
Why Sex Before Marriage is Essential
http://www.buffalos
Why Women Watch Football
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Why Women Live Longer Than Men
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Willie You Don't Think I'm Funny Anymore
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Women Drivers
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Women's Instructional Video
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Word Riddle
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World's Best Trick
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
School Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
* Night courses During work, John and William were chatting...
John: William, I've been taking night courses for 5 months now and I
have an exam next week.
William: Oh!
John: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
William: No John: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you
take night courses you would know this.
The next day, the same discussion took place:
John: Do you know who is Alexander Dumas?
William: No John: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take
night courses, you would know this.
The next day, once again...
John: And do you know who is Jean Jacques Rousseau?
William: No John: He's the author of "Confessions"
night courses, you would know this.
This time, William got irritated and said: And you, do you know who
is George Hunt?
John: No
William: He's the guy sleeping with your wife!! If you stop night
courses, you would know this!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Safely Talk and Drive at the Same Time
Jupiter Jack let's you talk without using your hands. It transmits
quality sound through the speakers in your car. Just plug Jupiter
Jack in your phone, preset your radio to 99.3 FM and you're ready to
start talking.
Order now and you'll get two Jupiter Jacks for the price of one.
View Website
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
christmas spirit
http://www.buffalos
chronic boner
http://www.buffalos
chute
http://www.buffalos
cigar
http://www.buffalos
cigarette
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Get Your Diabetes Meal Planner
Click below and answer a few questions to get your meal planner.
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
There was a young fellow named Simon,
Who tried to discover a hymen,
But he found every girl,
Had relinquished her pearl
In exchange for a solitaire diamond.
There was a young lady from Wheeling
Who professed to no sexual feeling
Til a cynic named Boris
Just touched her clitoris
And she had to be scraped off the ceiling
There once was a man named Mort
Whose dick was incredibly short
When he climbed into bed
His lady friend said
"That's not a dick it's a wart."
<Snagged by>
Ross
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Egg Genie - Automatic Egg Cooker
Steam cook eggs to perfect consistently whether its soft, hard or
even medium boiled. Egg Genie has a light and sound indicator to let
you know when eggs are done. It's also great for steaming
vegetables. Included with your order is the Baconwave - cook tasty,
crispy bacon in your microwave.
Prepare perfect eggs with Egg Genie.
View Web Version
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm
constipated.
The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean
over the table."
The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him
on
the ass with a baseball bat, CRACK... and then sends him into the
bathroom.
He comes out a few minutes later and says, "Doc, I feel great. What
should I do to prevent constipation ?"
The doctor says, "Stop wiping with cement bags."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Woman: I just had a baby and the doctor told me to do those Kegel
exercises - you know to tighten up things down there [giggle].
Dispatcher: Yes, ma'am, I understand. Are you in pain?
Woman: No, no, no. It's not that. It's just that every time I do
those
exercises I have an orgasm.
Dispatcher: I'm sorry, did you say "orgasm"?
Woman: Yes. Am I doing them right?
Dispatcher: Sounds like it to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flies Away
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1649
Stir Krazy
Sandi is resting...
Rudy is restling...
Katie is restless...
Katie: I want to do something...
Rudy: Why don't you go invent something.
Katie: Excellent idea! I have not been in my dog house in a long
time,
nor in the laboratory.
Sandi: Oh no Rudy, you do not know what you have done. Go get
Dad.
Katie dons her white lab coat, goggles: I am off! Zoom!
Downstairs BJ is watching the TV..
Rudy: Pops?
BJ: Yes, Rudy.
Rudy: Sandi wanted me to get you, we may have a slight teeny
problem.
BJ: What is it?
Rudy: Maybe Katie is heading to the lab to invent something.
BJ: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
to be continued
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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