THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
Sex and golf are the two
things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them.
~ KevinCostner
GET FREE DUNKIN DONUTS HERE
Rechargeable card is good at ANY Dunkin Donuts
-Legendary Coffee
-Cookies
-Flatbread Sandwiches
-and of course, Donuts!
http://tinyurl.com/lfluwu
_____________
GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
FROM: THE INVESTIGATIVE REPORTS BUREAU OF
THE POSTMAN'S CORNER
As the popularity of superstar president Barrack
Obama begins to fade, so does the support for his
so called national health care plan. Bogging down
over issues of spending and costs, many democrats
as well as republicans have formed a coalition of
opposition. Attempting to overcome these obstacles,
the Obama administration has begun to promote a
new program to provide financing. Spokesmen say
the government will begin selling its own brand of
toilet paper to fund the project.
President Obama concurred with the decision,
saying that "Sometimes in order to get what you
want, you have to irritate an asshole now and then."
We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
____________________
THE COMICS
I'm going
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m070.html
chick flick
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m072.html
darn human
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m073.html
football
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m074.html
end of the rainbow
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m075.html
slut
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m076.html
mole
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/m077.html
__________
LETS GO TO THE MOVIES
Suryia and Rosco
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5954.html
a little pest
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5955.html
retired
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5956.html
ultra soft
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5957.html
Hooch
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5958.html
support
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5959.html
Al Gore, Bill Clinton and Barrack Obama go to heaven,
God addresses Al first. ''Al, what do you believe in?''
Al replies: "Well, I believe that I won that election,
but that it was your will that I did not serve.
And I've come to understand that now.''
God thinks for a second and says:
"Very good. Come and sit at my left.''
God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?''
Bill replies: "I believe in forgiveness. I've sinned,
but I've never held a grudge against my fellow man,
and I hope no grudges are held against me.''
God thinks for a second and says: "You are forgiven,
my son. Come and sit at my right.''
Then God addresses Barrack. "Barrack, what do you believe in?''
He replies: "I believe you're in my chair."
______________
Did you ever wonder why there are no dead
penguins on the ice in Antarctica - -
where do they go?
Wonder no more!!!
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very
ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and
complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and
will mate for life, as well as maintaining a form of
compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.
If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other
members of the family and social circle have been known
to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings
and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead
bird to be rolled into and buried.
The male penguins then gather in a circle around the
fresh grave and sing:
"freeze a jolly good fellow."
____________
A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small
amount in the collection plates each Sunday.
Someone suggested to him that perhaps he might be
able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more.
"And just how would I go about doing that?" he asked.
"It is very simple. First you turn up the air
conditioner so that the auditorium is warmer than
usual. Then you preach in a monotone. Meanwhile,
you dangle a watch on a chain and swing it in a slow
arc above the lectern and suggest they put 20
dollars in the collection plate."
The very next Sunday, the reverend did as suggested,
and lo and behold, the plates were full of 20 dollar bills.
Now, the preacher did not want to take advantage of
this technique each and every Sunday. So therefore,
he waited for a couple of weeks and then tried his
mass hypnosis again. Just as the last of the congregation
was becoming mesmerized, the chain on the watch broke
and the watch hit the lectern with a loud thud and
springs and parts flew everywhere.
"Crap!" exclaimed the pastor.
It took them three weeks to clean up the church.
______________
Two women were sitting in the doctor's waiting room
comparing notes on their various disorders.
"I want a baby more than anything in the world,"
said the first, "but I guess it is impossible."
"I used to feel just the same way," said the second.
"But then everything changed. That's why I'm here.
I'm going to have a baby in three months."
"You must tell me what you did."
"I went to a faith healer."
"But I've tried that. My husband and I went to one
for nearly a yearand it didn't help a bit."
The other woman smiled and whispered,
"Try going alone, next time, dearie."
______________
Two college students, George and Sam, are riding on a
New York City subway when a beggar approaches them
asking for spare change. George adamantly
rejects the man in disgust. Sam, on the other hand,
whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of singles
and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.
The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to
the other passengers. George is outraged by his
friend's act of generosity. "What on earth did you
do that for?" shouts George . "You know he's only
going to use it on drugs or booze."
Sam replies, "And we weren't?"
________________
When you go into court, you are putting yourself
in the hands of twelve people, who weren't smart
enough to get out of jury duty.
Politicians are the
only people in the world who create problems and
then campaign against them.
There are two theories to arguing with a woman.
Neither one works.
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains
because the average man can see better than he can think.
My wife and I married for better or worse.
She couldn't do better. I couldn't do worse.
The only time the world beats a path to your door
is when you're in the bathroom.
____________
BUFFALO Bill
Comedy
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhuhj.htm
Condom Commercial
http://www.buffaloschips.com/ggfff.htm
Condom Tester
http://www.buffaloschips.com/gfddr.htm
Cool Mint
http://www.buffaloschips.com/jhgfg.htm
______________
FUN PAGES from Lorraine
George Bush Slogans
http://tinyurl.com/lmpxkd
Voted The Top 10 Funny Posters
http://tinyurl.com/m8r5ng
Automatic Confession Thanks Hampster
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KgmQM9cDPHk
THAT'S ALL FOLKS
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman
__._,_.___
No comments:
Post a Comment