Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
Microsoft sent out their second update of the month this morning
and I clicked for it to download just so I could get that ugly badge
off of my tray and then it popped back up and said it was ready
to install. I have no idea why but when MS requires a restart to
finish installation it tries its darned best to restart no matter if
you
like it or not, meaning that if you don't hit the restart later
button
when you see the pop-up it will shut itself off and if you were
working
on anything else it will just shut it off. That isn't the end though
because
it only waits 10 minutes before it asks you again. Well that was
what
was happening to me all afternoon until finally I gave up and
rebooted.
I had to because I was afraid if I went to the bathroom, I was going
to
have problems when I got back.
To top things off I only wanted one of the three updates, a security
update
because with idiots like the North Koreans using zombie computers to
harass websites with DNS attacks, I figured I better keep my
security up.
The virus they are using includes some way of destroying your hard
drive
which makes it the first well-spread virus in years with such a
malicious
payload.
Nancy made it back safely this morning about dawn and has called
me several times today. She is busy working on travel arrangements
for the family to get back here for a memorial service, funeral, and
reception on the 25th and then there will be a burial service the
next
day. I want to thank everyone again for the caring and support your
letters have given us.
Enjoy the chips... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Pregnant Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A. If it's the flu, you'll get better.
Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q. What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A. Childbirth.
Q. The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me.
Why? A. 'Cause you're fatter than they are.
Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A. So what's your question?
Q. Is there anything I should avoid while recovering
from childbirth?
A. Yes, pregnancy.
Q. Where is the best place to store breast milk?
A. In your breasts.
Q. Is there a safe alternative to breast pumps?
A. Yes, baby lips.
Q. What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
A. When you see teeth marks.
Q. Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to
feel and act normal again?
A. When the kids are in college.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
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Bush Condoms
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Bush Dick
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wedding Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
4th wedding
A woman married three times walked into a bridal shop one day and
told the sales clerk that she was looking for a wedding gown for her
fourth wedding. "Of course, madam," replied the sales clerk,
"exactly what type and color dress are you looking for?"
The bride to be said, "A long frilly white dress with a veil."
The sales clerk hesitated a bit, then said, "Please don't take this
the wrong way, but gowns of that nature are considered more
appropriate for brides who are being married the first time - for
those who are a bit more innocent, if you know what I mean? Perhaps
ivory or sky blue would be nice?''
"Well," replied the customer, a little peeved at the clerk's
directness, "I can assure you that a white gown would be quite
appropriate. Believe it or not, despite all my marriages, I remain
as innocent as a first-time bride. You see, my first husband was so
excited about our wedding, he died as we were checking into our
hotel. My second husband and I got into such a terrible fight in the
limo on our way to our honeymoon that we had that wedding annulled
immediately and never spoke to each other again."
''What about your third husband?" asked the sales clerk.
"That one was a Democrat," said the woman, "and every night for four
years, he just sat on the edge of the bed and told me how good it
was going to be, but nothing ever happened."
Peggy
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A school teacher asks her class, "What vegetable makes your eyes
water?"
Little Johnny replies, "A turnip, miss."
"No Johnny," says the teacher, "I believe you are thinking of an
onion, aren't you?"
"No miss," says Little Johnny, "Have you never been hit in the
balls with a turnip?"
Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy when he noticed
the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing.
"Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked.
"Nope," Jimmy replied.
"Well, did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.
"Nope."
"You didn't steal it did you?"
"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night
when they were on the job. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me."
Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous
of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself.
That night he waited outside his parents' room until he heard the
unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the
bedroom.
His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and asked him angrily,
"What
do you want now?"
"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
"Well, stand in the corner and keep quiet then," said his father
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Genetic scientists say that one day it will be possible to grow new
body parts, like new breasts and new hands.
It's going to be a huge moneymaker, because you know that as soon as
women grow another breast, men will want another hand."
"The Food and Drug Administration is investigating new claims that
taking Viagra can make a person go blind. Apparently, if you take
too
much Viagra, you could poke your own eye out." - Conan O'Brien
One day a certain housewife became extremely horny while going about
the routine business of cleaning the house. Unfortunately her
husband
was still at work, so she resorted to stripping off all her clothes
and masturbating furiously in the middle of the living room floor.
She got pretty worked up, and was writhing and moaning when her
husband walked in.
"Honey," he asked, looking up from the day's mail, "when you've
finished vacuuming, could you get started on dinner?"
Because they have to pay for their own uniforms the nurses in Sweden
are threatening to come to work naked.
Somehow I think that's going to be a long strike.
A boy walks up to his dad and ask him "Dad what is that thing
between
a girls legs that has hair on it?"
His dad said, "Well son that is called a vagina."
His son thought about that for a minute and then asked, "OK then,
what is that little thing that looks like a really small penis in a
woman's vagina?"
"Well they call that a clitoris son," said the father.
"OK dad, just one more question... What is that really smooth piece
of skin that is below a woman's vagina?"
The boy's dad thinks about this for a minute and says, "Well son, I
don't know the medical term for it but I just call it a chin rest."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pee Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
I need to go for a pee in Aussie
* "Gonna drain me dragon."
* "My back teeth are floating."
* "Need to syphon the python."
* "Takin' the kids to the pool."
* "I got to take a snakes hiss."
* "Gotta go have a slash."
* "Gonna go water a horse."
* "I'm off to drain the main vein."
* "Time to splatter the bladder."
* "Shake hands with the wife's best friend."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In New York City, a sophisticated sex shop is opening on Madison
Avenue featuring high-class lingerie and sex toys.
What is a high-class sex toy?
Does the butler use it on you? - Jay Leno
The young couple had been dating for some time, and the boy had
finally talked the girl into bed.
"Well, you're gonna have to show me what to do," she said. "I've
never made love before."
He suggested they try "69" as their first adventure, and after he
had
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After it was over, he asked how she felt.
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In a new sex survey they found that 8 percent of people had sex four
or more times a week.
Now here is the interesting part. That number drops to 2 percent
when you add the phrase, "With partner."
A grandmother was pushing her little grandchild around the
supermarket in a shopping cart. Each time she put something in the
cart she would say, "And here's something for you, Diploma." or
"This
will make a cute little outfit for you, Diploma." and so on.
Eventually a bewildered shopper who'd heard all this finally asked,
"Why do you keep calling your grandchild Diploma?"
The grandmother replied, "I sent my daughter to Virginia Tech and
this is what she came home with!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/A Few Good Memories
http://silverandgol
The Balm Of God's Love
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Rick w/It Is Finished (Loved One Saying Goodbye)
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Loving Touch
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Koalas In A Heatwave
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Movie Clips
2 Roosters
http://www.buffalos
36 Hour Cialis
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3 Condoms Please
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5
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Pigeon
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Ping Pong
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Ping
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Piscina
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Rabbit VS Snake
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Rally Flip
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a visit to my wife's native England for our honeymoon, we arrived
at London's Gatwick Airport. Tania headed for the British-passport
control line while I, an American, waited in the foreigners'line.
When my turn came, the customs officer asked me the purpose of my
visit. "Pleasure," I replied. "I'm on my honeymoon." The officer
looked first to one side of me, then the other. "That's very
interesting, sir," he said as he stamped my passport. "Most men
bring their wives with them."
------------
When Stan Caddell wanted to wash his Chevrolet, he backed the car
into a foot of water in the Mississippi River at Hannibal, Missouri.
When he got out to clean the car, it floated away. Police were able
to retrieve the vehicle some distance downstream. According to an
officer on the scene, no action would be taken against the driver
because "you can't ticket a guy for being stupid..."
------------
Three men were in heaven discussing how they died. The first man
said, "I died of cancer." The second man said, "I died of
Tuberculosis.
men asked, "Do you mean sinus?" The third man said, "No, I mean
SEENUS. I was out with my best friend's wife and he seen us!"
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
ceremony
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champagne
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charm toon
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charmin
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cheap
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Limerick Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Have you heard about the four McCoy brothers?
The first worked in a factory as a sock tucker
The second worked in a factory as a cork soaker
The third worked in a factory as a coke sacker
And the fourth brother-he was the real McCoy.
(Richard Lederer)
A salvation Lassie named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed
She reverently said,
"I wish to be opened with prayer."
A man from the Washington Post
Once had it off with a ghost;
At the height of orgasm
The pale ectoplasm
Shrieked: "Coming! I'm coming...almost!
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It seems John had been experimenting with an
unusual method of seeking autoerotic gratification;
namely, inserting a live fish into his anus.
What he hadn't counted on was the fish's fins acting,
in effect, like one of those sets of driveway spikes
that allow you to drive over them one way but puncture
your tires if you try to go the other way.
In his pain and panic, he dialed emergency. The EMT
arrived, surveyed the situation, and said, "John, you
just have to learn to chew your food better."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman in labor is screaming profanity at her husband from
her hospital bed.
He says, "Hey, don't blame me! I wanted to put it in your
ass but no, you thought that might hurt!"
Patricia
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Convert Your Car To Burn Water + Gasoline = Double Your Mileage!
Couple of weeks ago, this company was on Coast to Coast radio show
talking about their product for three hours. I liked their idea of
using your battery to generate hydrogen and oxygen from water to
increase your gas mileage up to 50 %. They weren't just selling a
concept, but a proven plan with parts lists, sources and suppliers,
and videos. You can use their plan to reap savings from the family
car, a fleet of vehicles, or open a profitable business in this time
of high gas prices. buffalo
http://buffaloschip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1604
Puppyhood
ZOOM!!
Diana: What was that?
BJ: I don't know, a cat?
ZOOM!
Diana: It was Rudy!
BJ: He is running in circles, going up and down the stairs as fast
as he
can go. He is behaving really odd.
Diana: Maybe he is ill.
Sandi: I blame Daddy.
Diana: What did he do?
Sandi: Empowered him. So now Rudy is very happy and is showing it.
BJ: He is the eldest dog and a bit overweight. He must be eight,
nine
or maybe ten years old.
Sandi: He is acting like a puppy.
ZOOM!
Katie: Who is that dog?
Sandi/BJ/Diana: Rudy!
Katie: Gotta catch him.
Zoom!
The Herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
William Brabant
711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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