Adult Adult
Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.
I have been spending a lot of time lately watching the Food Channel,
especially the new show , Chopped. Four chefs from anywhere from
greasy spoons to five star restaurants play for a prize of 10,000
dollars. They are required to prepare an appetizer, entrée, and a
dessert from a basket of ingredients and a small kitchen. Usually
three of the ingredients belong together and the other one does not.
For example prepare a dessert with chocolate, cream cheese cherries,
and carrots.
You have a half hour to prepare the dish and serve it to the judges
and
they are very strict on plating, taste, originality, and usage of
all the
ingredients. If you have the worse dish, you are chopped from the
game. The funny part is that the kitchen area is open and in full
view of the judges and they get caught doing the dumbest things. One
chef
dropped a piece of meat on the floor and another served almost raw
chicken, and a third cook got caught using her tasting spoon to
serve.
The dishes are reasonably simple and usually tasty and it does give
you a few new ideas to try out.
Eva just came over and sat on my knee and told me, " You really
stink." Oh well I guess that's the best you can hope for on a
Monday. Enjoy the chips.... buffalo
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cookie Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the beginning there was void, and you couldn't find
a decent beer anywhere.
Then god spake forth and said, "I wanna cookie!" And
chocolate chip cookies appeared, god tasted them and
they were chewy and good.
Then god looked forth for someone to tell how good the
cookies were, but there was void, so god created a
place, and called it "here." And then god caused to
appear a man, right here, and called him "You."
Then god spake, "Hey You, try one of these cookies,
they're great!" Then You partook of the cookies, and
raved as to the goodness thereof.
Then You looked for someone else to tell about the
wondrous cookies of chocolate chip, but there was no
one but him and god, and god already knew of them.
Them You spake unto god, beseeching, "Who can I tell
about these great cookies?" And god created woman, and
called her "Wowza," for her form was exceedingly fair
to look upon.
You then spake unto her and said, "Wowza, you gotta
try one of these cookies!" Wowza partook of the cookies,
and said "They're Ok." Then hid herself from You and
god, and ate the entire box of cookies.
Then god waxed wroth and spake, "You! Where are my
cookies?" and You turned and cried, "Wowza! She bogied
the whole box!"
And god sent forth a curse of cellulite and smote Wowza
on the hips, causing You to look upon her and go "Yuck!"
Then Satan, He of rice cakes and Iceberg lettuce, did
appear and sent to Wowza a divorce lawyer to comfort
her in her grief.
And thus did Here become a place of bedevilment and
god quoth, "Next time, I'll send out for pizza, and
not tell anyone, including You!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait
Brisbane Summer
http://www.sydesjok
British Beer
http://www.sydesjok
Broken Record
http://www.sydesjok
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Signs Santa is Sick of Christmas
Now relies on a quick Google image search to see if you've been
naughty.
Good, bad or on the fence - everyone gets an AOL CD in their
stocking this year.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Yadda, yadda,
yadda...."
Sticker on sleigh: "How's my flying? Call 1-800-eat-sugarplum
Former "Naughty/Nice" databases merged into a single "Whatever"
database.
Turns Ms. Claus out to work the corner next to the Salvation Army
bell ringers.
At midnight on Christmas Eve, gift certificates to Amazon.com
magically appear in the email in boxes of good girls and boys.
New policy this year: Only strippers allowed on his lap.
Hey, kid - them brown lumps in your stocking ain't coal!
On his personal Christmas list: A George Foreman Grill and "The
Ultimate Reindeer Cookbook."
He's assigned numbers to all the countries on Earth and is doing the
odd ones this year and the even ones next year.
This year's #1 stocking stuffers: Elf heads and Rudolph jerky.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Egg Genie - Automatic Egg Cooker
Steam cook eggs to perfect consistently whether its soft, hard or
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Prepare perfect eggs with Egg Genie.
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moses Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Moses and his flock arrive at the sea, with the Egyptians in hot
pursuit.
Moses calls a staff meeting.
"Well, how are we going to get across the sea?" asked Moses. "We
need a fast solution. The Egyptians are close behind us."
"Normally, I'd recommend that we build a pontoon bridge to carry us
across," said the General Of The Armies, "but there's not enough
time - the Egyptians are too close."
"Normally, I'd recommend that we build barges to carry us across,"
said the Admiral Of The Navy, "but time is too short."
"Does anyone have a solution?" asked Moses.
Just then, his Public Relations man raised his hand.
"You!" said Moses, "You have a solution?"
"No," said the PR man, "but I can promise you this: If you
can find a way out of this one, I can get you two or three
full pages in the Old Testament...
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Firework Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Seventy-Five Fireworks You Don't Want To Be Messing With....
- Golden Showers
- No Fuse!
- MTV's Jackass Starter Set
- Run Kitty! (Banned In USA)
- Charlton Heston's Peacekeeper
- Florescent Bulb Blasters
- Spirit of Seventy Bics (Recording of Free Bird Included)
- Devil's Eyewash
- Simpering Widow
- Flying Digits
- Exhaust Pipe Lotus
- Lucky Bastard
- Stink Snakes
- Mob Family Reunion
- Dazzling Super Concussion Grenade
- Dixie Lawn Cross
- Yankee Doodle Debris
- Billie Holiday's "Cigarette Oxygen Tent" (heroin not Included)
- Don't Put This In Your Mouth - Wink Wink!
- Blistering Flesh Flowers
- Dante's Suppositories
- Asthma Aggravators
- Smoldering Monkey Fur
- Forearm-egeddon!
- Star Spangled Seizure
- Mr. Toad's Meth House
- Vehicular Flambé
- Slumlord Water Heater Fireball
- God's Will
- Flaming Cardboard From Heaven
- Look, Ma! No Thumbs!
- Magma Facial
- Pothole Poppers
- Rain Of Frightened Birds
- Baby Bottle Rockets
- Tony Robbins' Empowering Inferno
- Pepper Spray Spritzers
- Nuclear Winter Wonderland
- Fun Fire Tire
- Shrieking Hobo
- Mutually Assured Destruction (small and large)
- Orange Safety Cone Road Volcano
- Piccolo Pipe Bomb
- Flagtastic Tee-Pee Torch
- Wannabe Weekend Warrior
- Junior Terrorist
- sixty Eardrum Splitters
- seven hundred Gutter Busting Curb Cloggers
- six Philadelphia Blunts
- Uncle Sam's Inflamed Rectum
- Mustard Tears
- Pissed-Off Neighbor
- Magic Rotten Smell
- Rug Burners
- Shirtless Bystander Barrage
- Intergalactic Race Riot
- Ultimate Pyro Plum Thunder Hen Jamboree
- Spy Plane Apology
- White Trash Block Party
- Bedridden All Summer Long
- Capital Funishment
- Stack-O-Old-
- Defective Stunt Squibs (banned in Hollywood)
- Doggie Bladder Tester
- Couch-On-Fire, Hidden Dragon
- thirty Knuckle Spreaders
- Musical Lawn Chairs
- Spyro-Gyra-Technics
- twenty Homeroom Raiders
- Sweatshop Fiasco
- Incontinent Panda Mystery Geyser
- Bacon Fat in a Coffee Can
- Big Noisy Ninja
- Apocalypse Now - Potato Salad Later
- fifty Oily Rags
- Garbage Man's Nightmare
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Honeymoon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three sisters wanted to get married, but their parents couldn't
afford it so they had all of them on the same day. They also
couldn't afford to go on a honeymoon so they all stayed home with
their new hubbies.
The night of the honeymoon, the mother got up because she couldn't
sleep. When she went past her oldest daughter's room she heard
screaming. Then she went to her second daughters room and she heard
laughing. Then she went to her youngest daughter's room and she
couldn't hear anything.
The next morning when the men left the mother asked her oldest
daughter, "Why were you screaming last night?"
The daughter replied "Mom you always told me if something hurt I
should scream."
"That's true." She looked at her second daughter. "Why were you
laughing so much last night?"
The daughter replied "Mom you always said that if something tickled
you should laugh." "That's also true." Then the mother looked at her
youngest daughter. "Why was it so quiet in your room last night?"
The youngest daughter replied "Mom you always told me I should never
talk with my mouth full."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Prize Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's the yearly party at the temple and they're
having the drawing for the door prizes. Goldstein
wins third prize, a color TV. Rosenberg wins
second prize. When he goes up to collect, he
find that it's a plate of cookies.
When Rosenberg returns to the table he says,
"Goldstein, I don't understand it. You won third
prize, you got a color TV. I won second prize,
I got a damn plate of cookies."
Goldstein says, "Rosenberg, you don't understand.
The plate of cookies was cooked by the Rabbi's
wife."
Rosenberg says, "screw the Rabbi's wife!"
Goldstein says, "shh...that'
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
LynnLynn's Links
~~~~~~~~~~~~
If You haven't joined LynnLynn's mailing List yet, send a blank
e-mail to LynnLynns-links-
*+*+*+*+*+*+
Subscribers and Friends
Melva/Dreamin'
http://silverandgol
John w/ Rock Around The Clock (1954) Bill Haley & The Comets
http://heavens-
R.I.P. Robert McNamara
http://en.wikipedia
Freedom Isn't Free
http://www.shangral
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Surfin Surfari
Types of Tall Ships Via Dianne
http://www.tallship
Harvest The Wind
http://www.windustr
Legends Of America
http://www.legendso
Thing Thing Arena 3
http://tinyurl.
Super Target Shooting
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)
Microsoft Keyboard Shortcuts
http://www.microsof
Paint Shop Pro Users Group
http://www.pspug.
PaintShop Tutorials
http://www.mccannas
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Animal World
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Kitty Korner
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Movie Clips
Making Up
http://www.buffalos
Mama's Boobs
http://www.buffalos
Milk
http://www.buffalos
Money
http://www.buffalos
What Came Over Me (Buffalo Made Me Do This)
http://www.buffalos
Why College Takes 5 Years
http://www.buffalos
Wild
http://www.buffalos
Dirty Sneakers
http://www.buffalos
Dodge Viper VS Tzero Electric Car
http://www.buffalos
Dog in Trance
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scotsman: "Put on yer coat, loov, I'm going oot ta the local bar for
a wee dram."
Wife: "Are ye taking me with ye for a wee dram?"
Scotsman: "Don't be daft woman, I'm turning off the heat."
"Momma," said the young bride-to-be, "there's something I've been
meaning to ask you." "Yes, I know dear," responded the Mother
lovingly, "and I've been waiting. Shortly you will discover all the
joys of love with your husband. First, let me explain..." "Ma !
Wait !" said the girl. "I already know all about makin' love & all,
I just want to know how to make lasagna like you do."
Drug companies have come up with a new product - a combination
aphrodisiac and laxative. They say the results are easy come, easy
go.
I came down with laryngitis last week. This was the day our fifth
grade class was going on a field trip to the zoo and I did not want
to miss it, so I went to school in spite of hav- ing lost my voice.
The highlight of the visit to the zoo was the time we spent in the
petting zoo. While I was petting a baby Shetland Pony, my teacher
asked, "How are you feeling today?." I responded, "I'm feeling a
little horse."
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
camp tent feet
http://www.buffalos
camping
http://www.buffalos
campus
http://www.buffalos
can of shut the fuck up
http://www.buffalos
can you see my penis
http://www.buffalos
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Convert Your Car To Burn Water + Gasoline = Double Your Mileage!
Couple of weeks ago, this company was on Coast to Coast radio show
talking about their product for three hours. I liked their idea of
using your battery to generate hydrogen and oxygen from water to
increase your gas mileage up to 50 %. They weren't just selling a
concept, but a proven plan with parts lists, sources and suppliers,
and videos. You can use their plan to reap savings from the family
car, a fleet of vehicles, or open a profitable business in this time
of high gas prices. buffalo
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Salesman Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A traveling salesman's car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. he
goes looking for help, and eventually finds a lone farmhouse. Spying
a light, he goes up to the door and knocks. "Hi. My car broke down a
while back. Got a phone I can use to call for help?" he asks the
farmer when he opens the door.
"Nope," he's told. "I ain't got no phone here. But if you want, I
can give you a ride into town in the morning to get some help." The
salesman agrees, and the farmer shows him to his room.
"What's that?" he asks, spying a wall of eggs.
"My daughter, the most beautiful creature in the world, is behind
that wall," the farmer explains. "Now, come morning, if any of them
eggs are broke, I'm gonna kill you. Understand?"
The salesman agrees to this, and turns in to bed. Later that night,
though, he hears the daughter moaning from behind her wall, and
finally he can't control himself anymore. He has to see this beauty.
Rushing through the wall, he finds that she's even more beautiful
than her father said, and she's quite ready to have fun. They spend
the whole night making wild passionate love.
The salesman is woken by the rooster in the morning, and he hears
the farmer climbing the stairs. In a panic, he grabs a jar of glue
and starts gluing the eggshells back together. He has just finished
putting the last egg into the wall when the farmer bursts into the
room.
"So, you managed to control yourself," the old man says, looking at
the intact wall. "Come on down, and I'll make you breakfast."
So saying, he grabs a couple of eggs from the wall. The salesman is
petrified as he sits at the breakfast table. He knows that the eggs
the farmer picked are empty, and he knows the farmer will catch on
to what happened.
The farmer cracks open an egg.
Nothing.
He cracks open a second egg.
Again, nothing.
He cracks a third egg.
Nothing.
"Hmm," he says, looking right at the salesman, a frown appearing on
his face. "The damn rooster's been using rubbers again!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's Owen's first day in the car pool.
They honk the horn in front of his house and he comes running out.
He gets about halfway down the walk when he hears a grunt and the
sound of his wife's foot tapping on the porch.
He turns around and there she is, scowlng at him.
He runs back to the steps, spreads her bathrobe, bends over, kisses
her on the pussy, runs back down the walk and hops in the car.
They ride in silence for a few minutes, until Ronny, the driver,
can't stand it.
Ronny asks, "Owen, it's none of my business, but why'd you kiss her
pussy?"
Owen says, "Because you wouldn't believe how bad her fuckin breath
is in the morning!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The madam had assembled some of her girls for the men in town for
the pharmacists' convention. "This is Dolores," she smiled, "for
$250 I can promise you an exciting evening starting with a hot tub."
"And this is Connie, available for $375. She's rigged an Oriental
Swing in her room. Now lovely Maria," she continued "can be yours
for both straight and kinky sex, including bondage. She's yours for
the night for only $300."
"And if you take a fancy to tantalizing Jenny here, why she can..."
"Just a minute." interrupted one of the druggists. "Don't you have
any generic lays?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1640
Dad's Surgery
BJ: What is with the wheelchair Katie?
Katie who is wearing a nurse's outfit: We are making a dry run
father. We want to insure everything is okay when you get home. Rudy
has the bedpan and Sandi has everything else, the food Alpo I
must mention, nothing but the best for father.
BJ: I will not need a bedpan Katie.
Katie: Oh, will you have a cath then?
BJ: No, I will be able to walk to the bathroom on my own.
Katie: Rudy has installed a bell beside your bed and we insist you
use it for the first day at least. We cannot have you falling down
now can we?
BJ: Egads. Okay if you insist. What is that in your paw?
Katie: It is merely a device to record your temp. A rectal temp
guage.
BJ: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The herd in Guthrie
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Adult Adult Adult
Remember 9/11/01
Regarding any problems unsubscribing this mailing list
In accordance with the 2004 Can-Spam act you can contact me at:
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711 Pine Street Apt.1
Sault Ste Marie Michigan 49783
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