[buffalos-adult-chips] Chips For Sat

 



Adult Adult

Welcome to Buffalosjokes and Thank You for joining us. My
name is Buffalo and I have the watch.

Margaret Brabant
Margaret Jane (Kelley) Brabant, long time resident of Soo Township,
was taken from this life as the result of an auto accident while
visiting Spokane, Wash., on July 15, 2009.
Margaret was born in Newberry, Mich., Oct. 12, 1930 to Corey
Harrison and Anne (Schwab) Kelley.
Margaret graduated from Newberry High School in 1948, moved to the
Sault where she worked in a local pharmacy, and met future husband
Francis (Paddy) Brabant of Brimley. They were married July 17, 1951.
They lived with his grandparents until they moved to 5 Mile Road in
Soo Township, beginning construction on the house that would be her
home for the rest of her life.

Margaret enjoyed the life of a farm wife with a few exceptions like
wood
heat and frozen water lines. She longed for travels and work
experiences
after her children were raised and on their own. In 1963 she taught
herself
how to drive while her husband was working on a job in Canada and
loved the little trips she used to take to Wisconsin and Detroit.
When her
husband passed away she took a job at a time when most people would
be retired.
As Secretary for the St. Francis Xavier Church, Brimley and Blessed
Kateri Tekakwitha Bay Mills, Margaret worked until her passing. She
had made plans to retire when she turned 80
but probably wouldn't have as she loved the people
in the parishes and the responsibilities her job came with. At 78,
her life was anything but quiet: a job, an office as president of
the local
TOPS Chapter, working out three or four days a week and many social
functions.
Catching her at home took luck, skill, and planning. She had many
hobbies during life such as ceramics, sewing, and computers.
She enjoyed relaxing and playing cards online or watching the game
show
network after her day at work. Visiting the local casinos with her
sisters and brother-in-law
and dining out were always popular outings for her.
Margaret is survived by her five sons William (Sandra), Donald
(Rosemary), Robert, and Ronald all of the Sault and Douglas (Tammy)
of Juneau, Wis., her four daughters, Cathy (Jerry) Aday of New
Caney, Texas, Lisa (Victor) McBride, of Spokane, Wash., Mary Jane
(Andy) Simpson of Horicon, Wis., and Nancy Cantafio of the Sault.
She will be forever missed by her 21 grandchildren, one favorite
grandchild, and five great-grandchildren. She is also survived by
three sisters Elizabeth Kelley, Mary Ellen (Robert) Lauter, Judy
(Don) Mathieu and one brother Timothy Kelley.

Margaret left this world to join her husband Francis (1996), son
Patrick (1994) (Tammy), grandchildren Jerry Lee (1993) and Lydia
(1981).
She also joins her father and mother, brothers Jack and William
(1999) , and sister Nancy Kelley (2006).

A Memorial Service will be held in the hall at St. Francis Xavier
Church on Saturday, July 25, 2009. The gathering will be from 4 p.m.
to 6 p.m. with Mass following at 6 p.m. in the church with Father
Ted Brodeur officiating. All family and friends are welcomed to join
us afterwards for food, beverage, and comfort in the hall after
Mass. Graveside service will be held at Hillcrest Cemetery in Raco
at 1:30 on Sunday, July 26, 2009.

buffalo says It has been an extremely busy past few days with late
nights
with my family and a million chores. A few more days and things will
get
somewhat back to normal.

Enjoy the chips.. buffalo

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Jumper Chips
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A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the
collar
and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain

admission.

So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and

discovers that he just doesn't have one. He sees a set of jumper
cables in his trunk.

In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a
fairly acceptable looking knot and lets the ends dangle free. He
goes
back to the restaurant.

The bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then
says,
"Well, OK, I guess you can come in, ....

1. "just don't start anything."

2. "just don't do anything shocking"

3. "as long as you pay cash. We don't accept charges."

4. "I guess so. I checked your tab. And you're current."

5. "just don't try to jump any of the girls."

6. "just keep positive."

7. "No cable.... We have a satellite dish...."

8. "I'm not going to server you... obviously you're already wired!"

9. "This is a rough crowd... be careful you don't get jumped!"

10. "You're late... the booster club meeting was yesterday!"

11. The bouncer carefully looks him over for a few minutes and then

says, "What's that supposed to be?" Man replies, "This is a power
tie."

12. "Fine, just don't be forcibly jumping anybody tonight!"

13. "Fine, just don't be coupling in public, because if you arc,
other
customers might find it to be an electrifying experience."

14. "I didn't mean to jump on you earlier."

15. The bounser looks him over and asks, "Why are you wearing that
cable" The man answers, "I don't want to talk about it. I'm
terminally
ill."

16. "just don't start anything." If he did, could he be charged with

battery?

17. "just don't do anything shocking or revolting.

18. "as long as you pay cash. We don't accept charges." At least,
not
at the current time.

19. "but are you facing any battery charges?"

20. And he said: "Are you positive I can enter?"

21. "Do you get Cable in here?"

22. "You're a reVOLTing fellow."

23. "Do you have an anti-acid I could take? I'm really drained."

24. "I'm surprised that they even let you in the door.. There is a
BIG
sign just inside the doorway that reads: 'THIS IS A DRUG-FREE
EsTABLISHMENT' and you, sir, are obviously wired!"

25. "I'm wearing this because the last time I ordered Tequila here,

you served it with a salt and battery."

Stan Kegel

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Toon Chips For Those Who Can't Wait

clubbing
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you look beautiful
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can't read french
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Can You Hear Me Now
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Can You See The Plane
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Canada On Top
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Tennis Chips
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A very sad day for tennis....

Wimbledon hopeful Simona Halep wants surgery to reduce the size of
her
breasts.

Halep, 17, is seen as one of the tennis stars of the future after
winning a
host of junior titles and a place in the final of the junior French
Open
last year.

But the 5-foot-5-inch Romanian tennis star said she thinks her 34DD
bust is
holding her back.

"This fall I'll have a breast reduction operation," Halep said. "The
breasts
make me uncomfortable when I play."

"It's the weight that troubles me (and) my ability to react
quickly," she
added.

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Slap Chop - Dice, Chop & Mince in Seconds

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Bible Chips
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An out-of-towner becomes friendly with Thelma, the waitress in his
hotel coffee shop, and invites her up to his room.

She is indignant.

The guy says, "Don't get excited. This is all in the Bible."

Thelma is appeased, and after her shift they go out and have a few
drinks. Again the man invites her up to his room, and again she is
angry.

The man explains, "It's in the Bible."

An hour later they're in the guy's hotel room and he suggests they
undress and have some fun. He assures Thelma that it isn't sinful
since it's in the Bible.

"Where?" she says. "Where does it say that?"

Taking the Bible from the hotel nightstand, he opens it to the front

cover where someone has written, "Thelma the waitress is a great
lay."

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Keep Your Food Fresh Up To 50 Days Longer

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Short Chips
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Sometimes, when I'm in class, I dream that I'm on a tropical island,

with a dozen or more scantily clad females beside me, sitting under
a
huge palm tree, with some soft gentle music being played on some
traditional wood instruments of that region, and a cool gentle
breeze
caressing my tanned body.

I do all this while trying to forget I'm in a classroom.

Of course, it would be so much easier without everyone yelling at me

to keep teaching.

Alex was a sports fan whose face was always either buried in the
sports pages or transfixed by the television screen. One night as he

lay in bed next to his wife watching a football game, she got up,
walked across the room and unplugged the TV.

"Hey," Alex shouted, "what do you think you are doing?"

"I'm sick of sports, I'm sick of TV," she replied. "You haven't
touched me in months. We're going to talk about sex right now!"

"OK, OK. So," he asked after a moment, "how often do you think Brett

Favre gets laid?"

A couple go to the courthouse to get a marriage license and the
clerk
asks the girl her name and she says Mayree.

He says you mean Mary don't you.

She says no, all my folks call me Mayree. The clerk says whats his

name and she says Arnie.

He says you mean Ernie.

She says no we all call him Arnie. The clerk told her that she sure
was a big husky girl and big enough to play with the Green Bay
Packers.

She said I don't play with anybody's packer but Arnies.

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Little Johnny Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One day Little Johnny went walking
around to check out his surroundings
and found a farmer selling chickens.
Little Johnny went over to the farmer
to see how much he was selling them for.

The farmer asked him if he wanted a
male or a female. Little Johnny asked
for both. So the farmer said, "Here you
go, one cock and one pullet."

Little Johnny got confused, and asked
him what he meant. The farmer said,
"A cock is a male chicken and a pullet
is a female chicken."

Little Johnny said, "Oh," and went on
his way with two chickens one under
each arm. A bit further down the road
he saw a donkey for sale.

He went to the man who was selling it
to find out how much it was. The
man said, "The ass is 15 dollars."

Little Johnny replied, "No, I want
the donkey out side in your yard."

The man just said, "That's an ass."

Little Johnny, new to these terms,
just said, "Oh," and bought the donkey.

As he was leaving the man yelled out,
"Wait, the ass gets a bit stubborn about
going over hills, so you have to scratch
him behind the ears to get him going
again."

So Little Johnny is going back home
and the donkey stops dead in its
tracks and he can't get it to move.
He can't scratch its ear because he
would have to drop one of the chickens
and it would run away.

So Little Johnny starts to fuss and yell
at the donkey. While he is doing this a
beautiful woman walks up and asks him
if he needs help.

(Little Johnny thinks, hey, why don't I try
to impress this beautiful woman by using
my new terms that I learned today.)

So Little Johnny turns to the woman and
says, "Yeah, could you hold my cock and
pullet while I scratch my ass?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Short Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Canadian is walking down the street with a case of beer under his
arm.
His friend Doug stops him and asks,
"Hey Bob! Whacha get the case of beer for?"
"I got it for my wife, he." answers Bob.
"Oh!" exclaims Doug, "Good trade."

Did you hear about the war between Newfoundland and Nova Scotia?
The Newfies were lobbing hand grenades;
The Nova Scotians were pulling the pins and throwing them back.

In Canada they have two Seasons...
Six months of winter and six months of poor snow-mobiling.

One day an Englishman, an American, and a Canadian walked into a pub

together.
They proceeded to each buy a pint of Molson Canadian.
Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed
in
each of their pints.
The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust.
The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued
drinking it as if nothing had happened.
The Canadian picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it
over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!"

A Quebec guest, staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service
for some pepper.
"Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge.
"Toilette pepper!"

On the first day of Grade Three, little Chris Warrick's teacher
asked
the students to count to 50.
Many of them did very well, some getting as high as 37.
But, Chris did extremely well; he made it to 100 with only 3
mistakes. At home he told his Dad how well he had done.
Dad told him,
"That's because you are from Newfoundland, son."
The next day, in language class, the teacher asked students to
recite
the alphabet.
Some made it to the letter "k" with only one mistake, but Chris
outdid them again.
He made it all the way through, missing only the letter "m". That
evening, he once again brought his Dad up to date and Dad
explained to him,
"That's because you are from Newfoundland, son".
The next day, after Physical Education, the boys were taking
showers. Chris noted that, compared to the other boys in his grade,
he seemed
overly "well-endowed".
This confused him.
That night, he asked his Dad,
"Dad, they all have little tiny ones, but mine is ten times bigger
than theirs. Is that because I'm from Newfoundland?"
"No, son," explained Dad, "That's because you're 18!"

An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident.
They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of
them died before they arrived.
Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he
stirred and opened his eyes.
Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was

a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were
standing at the Gates of heaven.
St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die,
and that for a donation of $50, we could return to the earth.
So, of course I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $50, and the
next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But, what happened to
the
other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "the Scot was haggling over

the price and the Canadian was waiting for the government to pay for

his."

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LynnLynn's Links
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Tech Talk ( Computers and Web-tv)

Dizzy Dots
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Photo Montage
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Movie Clips

Kangaroo
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90208.htm

Pancakes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90209.htm

Paris speaks out
http://www.buffaloschips.com/90210.htm

Peeping Tom
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Peyton
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Parking 2
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Parking3
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Peeling
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Pigeon
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Ping Pong
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Random Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I tell you, my wife, she keeps me in line - no matter how many guys

are ahead of me.

"How did your evening with your new boyfriend go?" "It was a
disaster.
We were nude in bed in heavy foreplay and he had a premature
ejaculation." "What did he say when it occurred?" "He just said I
was
the loveliest girl he had ever come across."

Confucius Says, "Guns don't kill people... Husbands who come home
early kill people."

One guy is very upset and yells at his friend, "You slept with my
wife, you son of a bitch. I am gonna make you pay for what you did."

"Bullshit," replies the other one, "why should I pay twice."

Vice Squad: The pussy posse.

Two drunk blondes are stranded in the middle of nowhere trying to
get
home. The first blonde needs to pee so bad that she tromps off into

the bushes. After almost 10 minutes the second blonde begins to get

worried and heads into the field to look for the first blonde. She
walks for almost a mile until she finally finds the first blonde,
kneeling beneath a horse, sucking it off! "What in the world are you

doing that for?" shouts the second blonde. The first blonde sucks
her
lips away from the horse's huge member and drools, "Hold on, I think
I
may be able to get us a free ride home!"

99 percent of girls have a bigger left breast because 99 percent of

guys are right handed.

At the brothel, the man made a joke about each potential bedmate in

turn until one slapped him in the face. "I would like her," he said
to
the Madam. "What on Earth was that all about?" she asked. "Well, it
is
the only piece of advice my father gave me. He said, 'Screw 'em if
they can't take a joke'."

Stan Kegel

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Safely Talk and Drive at the Same Time

Jupiter Jack let's you talk without using your hands. It transmits
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Toon Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cinderella
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Cinderella2
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city transit
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civil wall paper
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clap
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Limerick Chips
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The once was a girl named Straight
Whose pussy smelled like bait!
Whenever Jeff pounds her
The room reeks of flounder
Her twat, she needs to refrigerate.

~~~~~

There once was a lady from Wooster
Who dreamt that a man had seduced her
She awoke with a scream
To find was a dream
And a bump in the mattress had goosed her.

~~~~

There was a young lady named Mandel
Who caused quite a neighborhood scandal
By coming out bare
On the main village square
And massaging herself with a candle

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Egg Genie - Automatic Egg Cooker

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Parting Chips
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our neighbor, a not to bright, woman got a new job working in a
sperm
bank. We ran into her about a week after she started her new job and

asked her what she did. She said "Well, I just sit in the reception

area and great all the men who come in. Iit's mainly men. Women
never
come in there, and I act cordial. And I point out to the men where
they should go, and when they come out, I say, 'Thank you for
coming!'"

Stan Kegel

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Bonus Chip
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better.

I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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Katie's Komfort Kolumn - Written By BJ Cassady
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Katie's Komfort Kolumn
Vol 1650

The Lab

BJ enter's Katie's small plastic dog house (from the outside),
then on the inside, runs past the huge living room, past the rec
room,
past the kitchen, past the guest bedroom, to the elevator, presses
sub-basement level two.

The elevator opens and all the lights are on in the lab, smoke is
coming
from beakers, electric charges are coming from various things.
Katie is running around at full speed. Steam is pouring out from
one
device while smoke is issuing from another.

BJ: What is going on here Katie?

Katie: Oh nothing yet, just making coffee. However, I have several
great ideas. I have this brilliant idea for an invisible water
bottle. You
would look cool carrying around the water.

BJ: But when it is empty, how would you know?

Katie: Oh yeah, hadn't thought about that. You could have a room
full of empties and stumble around and trip over them and never see
them. Yeah, bad idea. Okay, scratch that one off the list. How
about
short-sleeved Parkas for Alaska mild winters?

BJ: No, that is just plain silly.

Katie: Okay then how about a new kind of tennis shoes, ones that
automatically start up and run by themselves?

BJ: How would you stop them?

Katie: By remote control.

BJ: If you drop the remote control?

Katie: Oh yeah, bad idea...you just keep on running and running.
I was going to call them the energizer bunny runner shoes.

BJ: Copyright protection problems to, I bet.

Katie: This is so complicated. How about braille for the car
controls.

BJ: People who are blind should not be driving.

Katie: Oh father, you make it so difficult.

To be continued


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Remember 9/11/01

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Compilation and narrative copyright 2002 by william Brabant
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