[PostmansCorner] The Postman's Corner!



 

 

 

THE POSTMAN'S CORNER

 

 

Don't miss the donut by looking through the hole

 

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GOOD MORNING POSTMAN FANS!
We seem to have a mad rush of dying American
pop culture icons lately. Of course, everyone
seems to identify most with Michael Jackson.
There was also Farrah Fawcette and Walter Cronkite,
and several others.
But perhaps the most disturbing was the death of
"Gidget" at age 15. Gidget was the "taco bell dog"
from the late 90s, famous for the Taco bell commercials
where she said "Yo Quiero Taco Bell." The cute little
chihuahua was never intended to be made into a national
spokesman for the restaurant chain. She originally
was slated for only one commercial to be aired in the
mid northeast. However, the little mutt was so popular,
the restaurant chain turned the commercials into a
national media blitz. However, the little doggie was
retired due to multiple lawsuits, one from a Latin advocacy group.
and later, one by two Michigan men who had pitched the concept
of the Chihuahua to Taco Bell six years earlier.
Since Gidget's death,
I have been trying to teach my own Chihuahua, Turk the dog,
aka Carlos the rat, to say Gidget's famous lines.
However I am not having much luck. Altho I will have
to say, Turk does seem to enjoy Taco Bell tacos.
But I don't think he will ever be destined for stardom.
Rest in peace, Gidget! We shall miss you!


We do hope you enjoy today's issue!
Cordially
Martin aka the postman
_______________

THE COMICS

clubbing
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l070.html

you look beautiful
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l071.html

can't read french
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l072.html

hey baby
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l073.html

make up my mind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l074.html

my girlfriend--
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l075.html

Jetsons
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l076.html

a dildo
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/l077.html
____________

LETS GO TO THE MOVIES

ice cream
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5930.html

smile and say cheese
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5931.html

undie prank
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5932.html

end of the world
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5933.html

thats one hell of a bomb
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5934.html

a little wind
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies5935.html

On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is
involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves
sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to
process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder:
Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, 'I don't know. This is the first time
anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed
and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they
discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven,
what was the eternal aspect of it all. 'What if it doesn't work?'
they wondered, 'Are we stuck together forever?'
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns,
looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple,
'you can get married in Heaven.' 'Great!' said the couple,
'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out?
Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard
onto the ground. 'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH, COME ON!', St. Peter shouted, 'It took me three months
to find a priest up here!  Do you have any idea how long
it'll take me to find a Lawyer?!
_______________

Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy when he
noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing.
"Did you get that for your birthday?" he asked.
"Nope," Jimmy replied.
"Well, did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked.
"Nope."
"You didn't steal it did you?"
"No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other
night when they were doing the nasty.
Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me."
Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely
jealous of Jimmy's new watch.
He vowed to get one for himself.
That night he waited outside his parents' room until
he heard the unmistakable noises of lovemaking.
Johnny swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom.
His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and asked him
angrily, "What do you want now?"
"I wanna watch," Johnny replied.
"Well, stand in the corner and keep quiet then," said his father. 
______________

A cowboy, who is visiting Wyoming from Texas , walks into a
bar and orders three mugs of Miller High Life. He sits in
the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders
three more. The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it. It would taste
better if you bought one at a time." The cowboy replies,
"Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Arizona ,
the other is in Colorado . When we all left our home in Texas ,
we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when
we drank together. So I'm drinking one beer for each of my
brothers and one for myself." The bartender admits that this
is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a
regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders
three mugs and drinks them in turn. One day, he comes in and
only orders two mugs. All the regulars take notice and fall
silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round,
the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief,
but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss." The cowboy
looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in
his eyes and he laughs."Oh, no, everybody's just fine,"
he explains, "It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist
Church and I had to quit drinking."
"Hasn't affected my brothers though."
_________________

An astronomer is on an expedition to Darkest Africa to observe
a total eclipse of the sun, which will only be observable there,
when cannibals capture him. The eclipse is due the next day
around noon. To gain his freedom he plans to pose as a "GOD"
and threaten to extinguish the sun if he's not released, but
the timing has to be just right. So, in the few words of the
cannibals' primitive tongue that he knows, he asks his guard
what time they plan to kill him.
The guard's answered, "Tradition has it that captives are to
be killed when the sun reaches the highest point in the sky on
the day after their capture so that they may be cooked and ready
to be served for the evening meal."
"Great," the astronomer replies.
The guard continues, though, "But because everyone's so excited
about it, in your case we're going to wait until after the eclipse."

_____________________

A 30 year old blonde decides to try horseback riding for the first
time. With no lessons, nor prior experience, she mounts the horse
unassisted, and the horse immediately springs into motion.
It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde
begins to slide from the saddle..
In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to
get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's
neck, but she slides down the horse's side anyway. The horse
gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider.
Finally, giving up her frail grip, the blonde attempts to leap
away from the horse and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately,
her foot has become entangled in the stirrup; she is now at the
mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against
the ground over and over.
As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments
away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune...
Frank, the Walmart greeter, sees her dilemma and unplugs the horse.
And you thought all they did was say Hello.

FUN PAGES FROM LORRAINE

The Treasures of Mystery Island
http://tinyurl.com/cgmnws

Counter Strike
http://tinyurl.com/mmk75d

Skies of War
http://tinyurl.com/bs9lsn
____________

BUFFALO BILL

When Not To Clean your Glasses
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7815.htm

Where
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7816.htm

Where Croissants Come From
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7817.htm

Why Men Have Bikes
http://www.buffaloschips.com/7818.htm

THAT'S ALL FOLKS!
Have a nice day
FROM:
Martin aka the postman



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