THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Never talk defeat. Use words like hope, belief, victory. ~N.V. Peale  No other gift will put a smile on a child's face like a personalized letter from Santa. * All Letters are Postmarked from the North Pole! * All Letters Start with a Personalized Greeting! * All Letters are Printed on one of our Exclusive and Unique Christmas Templates!* All Letters Include Detailed Information about the Child's Name, Friends, Achievements and More!Only $9.99 per letter or take our Special Holiday Promotion to Buy 3 and Get 1 Free! http://www.thepostm  Share your unique opinion and get paid for it! Product Developers are willing to pay reviewers between $5 and $75 per completed survey. - Review Products - Take simple online surveys - Keep the products you review - Get paid for your opinion! JOIN NOW Free Membership http://www.thepostm  This advertisement is being sent by a 3rd Party, where you have consented to receive updates, offers, or promotions. To opt-out or unsubscribe, please follow instructions as provided by the sender at the bottom of this e-mail. FREE HEALTHY SAMPLES Your Healthy Samples are just a click away! As a member you will get samples, coupons, and exclusive access to special member only offers. http://www.thepostm Today is Election day It is also a significant day in history!  We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman small medium or large http://www.thepostm refined ladies http://www.thepostm Maxine says, you know you're getting older when... http://www.thepostm acme computer http://www.thepostm anger management http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES a real bonehead http://www.thepostm Obama added to Mt. Rushmore http://www.thepostm One flew over the cuckoos nest http://www.thepostm dreams come true http://www.thepostm Interesting stuff s&^%%t happens http://www.thepostm the turkey shoot http://www.thepostm POWER POINT DISPLAYS Alaskan highway http://www.thepostm a lesson from the birds http://www.thepostm The bank account of life http://www.thepostm ordinary people http://www.thepostm Two mothers are having a conversation about their children one day. "How do you get your Pauly up so early on school mornings?" asks Joan. "Oh, that's easy," replies Pauly's mom. "I just throw the cat on his bed." "Why does that wake him up?" "He sleeps with the dog." ____________ A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl haughtily says, "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with the likes of you." The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants." ____________ The couple left the gynecologist' They were just told that she could never become pregnant. They would never have the family they both desired so fervently. Suddenly, a masked man appeared before them. "I think I can help you," he said, handing them a card. "Why are you masked?" the husband asked. "Because the government has declared our activities illegal. Go to the address on this card. The doctor will take a scraping from your mouth and culture it. In less than a year, we will have your baby for you." Turning to her husband, the wife exclaimed, "This is the answer to our prayers!" Then she turned back to thank the stranger but he was gone. "Who was that masked man?" she asked her husband. He answered, "That was ... the Clone Arranger." ____________ A bartender is shutting up for the night when there is a knock at the door. He answers the door and there's a bum asking him for a toothpick. The barkeep gives him one and shuts the door. After a few moments, there's another knock at the door. The bartender opens it again to find yet another bum. Another request for a toothpick. The bartender gives the bum one and shuts the door again. Because everything in jokes like this involves sets of threes, there's a THIRD knock on the door. This time, though, the bum only wants a straw. "Why not a toothpick?" "Someone threw up on the sidewalk, but all of the good stuff is gone already!" ____________ At the exact same time, there are two 35-year-old men on opposite sides of the earth. One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers at the 85th floor. The other is getting a blow job from an 85-year-old toothless woman. They are both thinking the exact same thing. What are they both thinking? Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. ____________ THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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