THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Age is like mind over matter, if you don't mind, it don't mattter. ~Doug Christian FREE GRILL  Start grilling healthier, great tasting food in minutes with your FREE George Foreman Grill Enjoy the convenience of healthy, great tasting food hot off the grill with your new George Foreman Grill! George’s new grills are scratch resistant, easy to clean, remove 35% of the fat and cook meats in minutes. Start enjoying yours for FREE http://www.thepostm PLAY FREE GAMES  GatorArcade Love video games? Now you can win cool prizes while you play! Play video games & Win Cool Prizes! http://www.thepostm FREE COOK BOOK  Find inspiration to get you cooking! 8 Featured Budget Friendly Recipes! Check out this FREE Cookbook with 8 delicious recipes like Fired Chicken, Broccoli Bake, Baked Zucchini, BBQ Pork Ribs and more. Complete the information below to log-in and view this cookbook now and others from our free library. http://www.thepostm  FREE* 8-PACK! NEW GERBER GRADUATES Yogurt Melts is the most convenient, healthy snack for tiny tykes! Unlike most leading fruit snacks, GERBER GRADAUTES Yogurt Melts contain no preservatives -- just great taste! Available in delicious Strawberry, Mixed Berry, or Peach flavor, GERBER GRADUATES Yogurt Melts are made with 99% real fruit and yogurt. What's more, they contain live and active cultures -- just like refrigerated yogurt! Delicious, nutritious, and easy to swallow. Get GERBER GRADUATES Yogurt Melts -- the wholesome snack that children enjoy & moms trust! Act now to receive a FREE* 8-PACK SAMPLE Yesterday was a work day for "The war department." So, for lunch, I was scrounging around and decided on hamburger helper. Its fairly easy to do, and I consumed half of it, figuring to put the rest in the fridge for lunch today. My son woke up to the aroma of lunch cooking. "Dad, can I have the rest?" "Sorry bud, its for lunch tomorrow." Oldest daughter came over after church, "Dad can I have the leftovers?" Sighing, I explained how it was reserved for lunch tomorrow. The interesting thing is that stuff has been up in the cupboard for at least a couple months. Its not complicated to make, just brown a little hamberg, add a little water, etc. Any of them could have cooked it up themselves had they wanted to. Then youngest daughter wakes up, "Dad, can I...." "Its for lunch tomorrow!" The whole episode gives meaning to the term "Adult children." They could easily have gotten the box down and fixed it if they wanted. But nooooo...they gotta wait for dad to do the honors. Funny thing is? The "war department" came home from work, says, "Im hungry, whats for lunch?" Sighing loudly, I took out the leftover hamberg helper lasagne, which she consumed in less time than it took to microwave it. Guess I'm gonna open a can of soup for lunch today.:) We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman THE COMICS choke up http://www.thepostm where is it http://www.thepostm following directions http://www.thepostm won't need it http://www.thepostm I discovered http://www.thepostm remember me? http://www.thepostm seniors week http://www.thepostm poor mans vacation http://www.thepostm ____________  LETS GO TO THE MOVIES winter wonderland Cheap imported car from China http://www.thepostm lucky juggler http://www.thepostm wife school http://www.thepostm ____________  POWER POINT DISPLAYS Easy difficult http://www.thepostm INTERESTING STUFF match the snatch http://www.thepostm college pranks http://www.thepostm when you can't box http://www.thepostm Etosha national park, Namibia http://www.thepostm the oops list http://www.thepostm what the internet is http://www.thepostm  While trying to escape through Pakistan, Osama Bin Laden found a bottle on the sand and picked it up. Suddenly, a female genie rose from the bottle and with a smile said, "Master, may I grant you one wish?" Osama responded, "You ignorant, unworthy daughter-of- know who I am? I don't need any common woman giving me anything." The shocked genie said, "Please, I must grant you a wish or I will be returned to that bottle forever." Osama thought a moment, then grumbled about the impertinence of the woman and said, "Very well, I want to awaken with three American women in my bed in the morning. So just do it and be off with you." "The annoyed genie said, "So be it!" and disappeared. The next morning Bin Laden woke up in bed with Lorena Bobbitt, Tonya Harding, and Hillary Clinton at his side. His penis was gone, his knees were broken, and he had no health insurance. God is good ____________ "You look sad, Fred, what's the trouble," asked Bill. "Domestic trouble." "But you're always bragging that your wife is a pearl," says Bill. "She really is," replies Fred. It's the mother-of-pearl that's giving me trouble!" ____________ A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.? He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'? The boy replied, 'What turkey?'? The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'? The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'? The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you.? If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'? The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!' ____________ A man patted his daughter's hand fondly, and told her, "Your young man told me today he wanted you as a bride, and I gave my consent." "Oh, Daddy," gushed the daughter, "it's going to be so hard leaving Mummy." "I understand perfectly, my dear," beamed the man. "You can take her with you!" ____________ "George is so forgetful," the sales manager complained to his secretary. "It's a wonder he can sell anything. I asked him to pickme up some sandwiches on his way back from lunch and I'm not sure he'll even remember to come back." Just then, the door flew open and in bounced George. "You'll never guess what happened!" he shouted. "While I was atlunch, I met old man Brown, who hasn't bought anything from us forfive years. Well, we got to talking and he gave me this half-milliondollar order!" "See," sighed the sales manager to his secretary. "I told you he'dforget the sandwiches." ____________ While recently riding on the bus standing up, a friend of mine grabbed onto the pole nearest her to keep herself steady while the bus traveled down the road. She soon noticed a young man, who was also hanging on to the same pole staring at her. Although this was somewhat annoying, she decided to just look the other way. Soon the bus came to a stop. Clearing his throat, the young man said, Excuse me. This is my stop.' Since she wasn't blocking his way, my friend was slightly confused. 'Well,' she said, 'go ahead..' 'And this is my pole,' the young man said. My friend was completely perplexed until the young man added, 'I just bought it at the hardware store to hold up my shower curtain." ____________ Buffalo Bill Why Beer Should Be At The Bottom Of The Fridge http://buffalosjoke How to Spot A Gay Guy http://buffalosjoke FUN PAGES from Lorraine Cutest Kitten Ever http://tinyurl. Zombie Chick http://tinyurl. PAPA Thorn THAT'S ALL FOLKS! Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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