THE POSTMAN'S CORNER Greatness is not found in possessions, power, position, or prestige.It is discovered in goodness, humility, service, and character BE SURE TO SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS! THEY KEEP THE POSTMAN'S CORNER free to all who ask for it!  Enjoy the Harvest at IHOP for FREE*! Start your morning right with a home-style breakfast the whole family can enjoy. Original sweet cream waffles, award-winning buttermilk pancakes, fluffy omelets, and legendary cups of coffee — you'll come hungry and leave happy, guaranteed. Bring the tribe to IHOP, your home-style, feel-good, family restaurant. There's something on the menu for everyone, guaranteed! • Rooty Tooty Fresh 'n Fruity • International Passport • Harvest Grain 'N Nut Pancakes • Cheese Blintzes • Vive La French Toast • Original Buttermilk Pancakes • Pigs in Blankets • Country Omelet • and More! http://www.thepostm  FREE SAMPLE NESTLE's put a fun, new, flavorful twist on the traditional Crunch Bar and it's making the masses say, 'YUM!'. What can be tastier than layers of crunchy wafers complimented by a chocolate cream coating and topped with crisped rice! http://www.thepostm  Which tickles your taste buds: Whopper® or Big Mac®? take the survey...get 500 bux or a free laptop! http://www.thepostm FREE SAMPLE  Meet the Richest Cookie Ever! It's your favorite sandwich cookie decadently wrapped in pure milk chocolate. OREO has never been as luxurious as it is now, draped in the richest, purest, milk chocolate. Taste the fortune. Sign up now to receive your 3 Boxes, FREE*! http://www.thepostm After waking up this morning and having a cup of coffee, I turned on the TV to get the current news. Like to bounce back and fourth through the major networks. As usual, the topic was the "Presidential Race". One network said McCain was ahead by three points. Another network said Obama was ahead by six points. Another network had a different opinion than the previous two, ect., ect. It's not just the Predidential race, it's polls in general. So, I have come to a conclusion on the whole thing......  We do hope you enjoy today's issue! Cordially Martin aka the postman! How to Load a Boat onto a Pickup 1. Load up beer and hook boat trailer up to truck 2. Drink lots of beer 3. Drive real fast 4. Hit light pole (needs to be a solid one) 5. Boat will load it self onto truck  ____________ THE COMICS stinky a different kind of stimulus package http://www.thepostm what you don't want to hear from your doc http://www.thepostm Big Bird gets lost http://www.thepostm we are in trouble--- http://www.thepostm Now that could really be a problem http://www.thepostm do you like icecream? http://www.thepostm you know, thats really old http://www.thepostm the Lockhorns--- http://www.thepostm LETS GO TO THE MOVIES rock me slowly http://www.thepostm women drivers1 http://www.thepostm women drivers2 http://www.thepostm beware of tropical vacations! http://www.thepostm pharmacist-wav fuke http://www.thepostm strokin-wav file http://www.thepostm lets play http://www.thepostm INTERESTING STUFF wedding dance http://www.thepostm A german stress reliever. click on the bears and move your cursor across them http://www.thepostm food network, recipe search http://www.thepostm Women in Sudan http://www.thepostm 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. Preparing for the Birth: 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month. The Layette: 1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? Worries: 1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick up the baby 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. Pacifier: 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in. Diapering: 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need it or not. 2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed. 3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaners. ____________ John: Would you tell me your sexual fantasies, Jill? Jill: Well, yes, but I'm afraid you'd find them monotonous. John: Why do you think so? Jill: You're in all of them! ____________ Q: What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck? A: The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved. ____________ A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions."Davey, what sound does a cow make?" Davey replied, "It goes 'moo'." "Alice, what sound does a cat make?" Alice said, "It goes 'meow'." "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?" Jamie said, "It goes 'baaa'." "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?" Jennifer paused, and said, "Uhh... it goes... 'click'!" ____________ Barack Obama discovers a leak under his sink, so he calls Joe the Plumber to come and fix it. Joe drives to Obama's house, which is located in a very nice neighborhood and where it's clear that all the residents make more than $250,000 per year. Joe arrives and takes his tools into the house. Joe is led to the room that contains the leaky pipe under a sink. Joe assesses the problem and tells Obama, who is standing near the door, that it's an easy repair that will take less than 10 minutes.Obama asks Joe how much it will cost. Joe immediately says, "$9,500." "$9,500?" Obama asks, stunned. "But you said it's an easy repair!" "Yes, but what I do is charge a lot more to my clients who make more than $250,000 per year so I can fix the plumbing of everybody who makes less than that for free," explains Joe. "It's always been my philosophy. As a matter of fact, I lobbied government to pass this philosophy as law, and it did pass earlier this year, so now all plumbers have to do business this way. It's known as 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act of 2008.' Surprised you haven't heard of it, senator." In spite of that, Obama tells Joe there's no way he's paying that much for a small plumbing repair, so Joe leaves. Obama spends the next hour flipping through the phone book looking for another plumber, but he finds that all other plumbing businesses listed have gone out of business. Not wanting to pay Joe's price, Obama does nothing. The leak under Obama's sink goes unrepaired for the next several days. A week later the leak is so bad that Obama has had to put a bucket under the sink. The bucket fills up quickly and has to be emptied every hour, and there's a risk that the room will flood, so Obama calls Joe and pleads with him to return. Joe goes back to Obama's house, looks at the leaky pipe, and says "Let's see – this will cost you about $21,000." "A few days ago you told me it would cost $9,500!" Obama quickly fires back.Joe explains the reason for the dramatic increase. "Well, because of the 'Joe's Fair Plumbing Act,' a lot of rich people are learning how to fix their own plumbing, so there are fewer of you paying for all the free plumbing I'm doing for the people who make less than $250,000. As a result, the rate I have to charge my wealthy paying customers rises every day. "Not only that, but for some reason the demand for plumbing work from the group of people who get it for free has skyrocketed, and there's a long waiting list of those who need repairs. This has put a lot of my fellow plumbers out of business, and they're not being replaced – nobody is going into the plumbing business because they know they won't make any money. I'm hurting now too – all thanks to greedy rich people like you who won't pay their fair share." Obama tries to straighten out the plumber: "Of course you're hurting, Joe! Don't you get it? If all the rich people learn how to fix their own plumbing and you refuse to charge the poorer people for your services, you'll be broke, and then what will you do?" Joe immediately replies, "Run for president, apparently." BUFFALO Bill Three Condoms Please http://buffaloschip Thunder Power http://buffaloschip PAPA Thorn FUN PAGES from Lorraine Balloon Tank http://tinyurl. Army Chicks http://tinyurl. THAT'S ALL FOLKS Have a nice day FROM: Martin aka the postman |
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